Lisa's 8-year-old son really hates to do homework. In fact, just the mention of the word makes him feel anxious. Lisa is looking for ways to stop playing the homework warden and help her son feel less anxious about homework.

Today, Lisa and I talk about how she can help the situation. I suggest that she use alternative words for "homework" and "anxiety", and I note the importance of validation. We talk about the value of a timer and a planner, and I emphasize the power of giving him the freedom to explore different ways and places to do his homework. We also talk about the power of subtle word changes.

"The more he gets to control this and the less you do, the better."

- Sue Groner

This week on The Parenting Mentor:

• The power of subtle word changes
• The importance of validation
• The value of a timer and a planner

Meet the Parenting Mentor

If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.

Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.

Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don't forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!

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Liz has twin 6-year-old daughters who spend a lot of time together. Lately, they have been arguing and calling for Mom a lot, and the fights tend to stem from one daughter in particular. Listen along for tips on how to stop being the referee and fixer, and empower your children to solve their own problems.

Today, we talk about sibling rivalry, jealousy, and problem-solving. I note that Liz rarely needs to step in and solve her daughters' fights. We talk about justice, discussing why it's okay for the girls to come up with a solution that isn't 100% fair as long as they're both happy with it. We talk about what counts as alone time, and I emphasize the importance of tone and manner.

"How great for you, that you no longer have to deal with this stuff, and you can kindly and lovingly say, 'Yes, I see it's frustrating for you. Remember, Mommy doesn't get involved in this stuff anymore.'"

- Sue Groner

This week on The Parenting Mentor:

• Dealing with jealousy and sibling rivalry
• Why you don't need to get involved and solve your children's problems
• The power of one-on-one time
• How to nurture problem-solving skills
• The power of alone time
• The importance of tone and manner

Meet the Parenting Mentor

If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.

Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.

Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don't forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!

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Carrie has twin 10-year-old twins, Matthias and Ruby. Matthias has ADHD and has trouble controlling his emotions when he's home. Ruby, who has always been the "good girl", has been acting out lately in imitation of her brother, most likely out of a want for attention. In this episode, we talk about how to give each child the attention they deserve, as well as ways to defuse and minimize emotional outbursts while validating all feelings--even the ones that don't feel so good.

Today, we talk about how to handle both children's behavior. We discuss what's behind Matthias's outbursts, noting that they're actually a sign that he feels safe at home. I note that his need to let his emotions out at the end of the day is not unusual, and I explain why validating the work he does to keep it together at school is so important and effective. I note the power of a big hug, and I explain why Carrie needs to let Ruby know that it's okay for her to have emotional outbursts sometimes too. I also note the power of small chunks of quality time.

"We all have a baby self and an adult self--even as adults."

- Sue Groner

This week on The Parenting Mentor:

• The importance of validation
• The power of a hug
• Why it's okay to lose it sometimes, even if you don't have ADHD
• The importance of quality time

Meet the Parenting Mentor

If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.

Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.

Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don't forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!

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Jennifer has three kids, and her youngest--the 2-year-old--won't sleep through the night. She goes to sleep with no trouble, but every night she'll come into her parents' room in the middle of the night and join them in their bed. Between homeschooling the boys and running a business, Jennifer and her husband need sleep, so this isn't a sustainable practice.

Today, we talk about a potential solution for Jennifer and her husband: setting up a sleeping bag in the bedroom as a compromise. We discuss what seems to be behind this behavior and talk about the importance of clearness when setting new boundaries. We discuss the importance of letting your child know that it's okay to feel how she feels and that you understand, as well as refraining from snuggling with or singing to her when she comes in and you need to put her back to bed.

"You can't force your kid to fall asleep, you can't force feed them, and you can't force them to use the potty...They will always win, no matter what, with those three things. And so the more you understand how they're feeling and how you can work around it to make everybody happy and make it work for everyone, the better off it'll be."

- Sue Groner

This week on The Parenting Mentor:

• The importance of letting your child know you understand how she's feeling
• Why it's okay to compromise with your child sometimes
• Being clear about boundaries

Meet the Parenting Mentor

If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.

Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.

Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don't forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!

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Namasha isn't thrilled with the way she's handling her 2.5-year-old daughter's small acts of defiance. Timeouts don't work, and while negotiating sometimes does, it's not what Namasha wants to continue to do. If you're finding yourself telling your child that if they eat three more bites of broccoli, they'll get a sweet treat, then this episode is for you.

Today, Namasha and I talk about what's behind her daughter's sudden rebellion. I point out that her daughter has just discovered that she has control in a few areas of her life--namely: food, potty training, and naps--and that it's an exciting discovery. I note that when you let your child feel like she has control in some areas, she'll stop trying so hard to gain it in other places. We talk about how Namasha can replace negotiations with consistent, non-judgmental consequences to actions, whether positive or negative. I share tips for keeping your patience when your young child is struggling to communicate, and I point out the power of hugs.

"If you can find things where it positions it as if she really does have the control, then I think a lot of those little things will go away. Because she needs control."

- Sue Groner

This week on The Parenting Mentor:

• What's behind a 2-year-old's rebellion
• Tips for communicating and clarifying rules
• Reframing and redefining negotiations
• The three control areas of small children

Meet the Parenting Mentor

If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.

Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.

Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don't forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!

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Elizabeth is a single mom to a 10-year-old. Most of the time, she thinks of herself as a laid-back mom, ignoring her son's minor infractions, but when she's stressed out this is not the case. She's worried about being inconsistent but doesn't know where to draw the line between letting things slide and making them a big deal.

Today, we talk about how Elizabeth can find the right balance. I suggest that, rather than either letting things slide or making a big deal of them, she can always react with something in between. I share tips for having an empowering and productive conversation about why rules are in place, and we talk about encouraging, non-judgmental ways for Elizabeth to talk to her son about his sweet tooth.

"You're the captain of the team, and therefore, you're the one who's in charge. But he's still respected as a team member."

- Sue Groner

This week on The Parenting Mentor:

• Finding the middle ground of discipline
• Tips for an empowering conversation
• When it's helpful to talk to your child's pediatrician
• The power of scheduling periodic meetings

Meet the Parenting Mentor

If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.

Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.

Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don't forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!

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Erin has two boys, 7 and 9, who can't sit still at dinnertime. Erin and her husband want a nice family dinner every night, but the boys complain about the food, jump up and down, and can't seem to get the cleanup done.

Today, Erin and I talk about what she can do about the situation. We talk about how it might be a good idea to cut family dinners down to five times a week, and I offer the suggestion that the boys do something to release all of their energy before sitting down each evening. We talk about the possibility of planning dinners in advance with the boys' input so that they won't be unhappily surprised at dinnertime, and we discuss doing something fun at dinner. Regarding cleanup, we talk about framing it as a way to contribute to the family now that they're old enough, instead of as chores. I note that she can leave the boys to take care of it themselves instead of watching over the process, and I offer the suggestion of setting a kitchen timer for them.

"It's not a chore; it's your contribution to mealtime."

- Sue Groner

This week on The Parenting Mentor:

• How to take care of ants in the pants
• The benefits of planning dinners in advance
• Doing something fun at dinner and teaching your kids how to have conversations
• How to frame chores so that your kids will be proud to do them
• The importance of a kitchen timer

Meet the Parenting Mentor

If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.

Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.

Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don't forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!

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Alexis is struggling to let go of doing every single thing with her kids. She's hired someone to pick them up from school, take them to the playground, and do activities with them--and yet she's showing up beside the babysitter. If you are having trouble letting go, find yourself thinking that a good mom has to do it all, and are afflicted by the Mom Guilt monster, listen in to gain a new perspective, along with ways to talk to yourself and your kids about all of this.

Today, we talk about why the operations don't define the mother. We discuss the real meaning of motherhood, noting that the moments where connections happen are more important than the day-to-day jobs we associate with parenthood. We talk about how to explain to your kids why backing away from things like driving them to school actually allows you to be more present with them at other times, and we tackle the Mom Guilt monster. I note that a mother is a mother no matter what, and that trying to do everything often means you can't do anything well. We talk about the importance of modeling the normality of varying emotions and energy levels for your kids, and I note the need for patience, as any transition takes time.

"You're still their mother, 100%, and you're giving them what they need as their mother. And that doesn't have to do with taking them places. I can promise you that."

- Sue Groner

This week on The Parenting Mentor:

• The real meaning of motherhood
• The value of a schedule
• Why taking care of the operations isn't what makes you a good mother
• Why you can't do anything well when you're trying to do everything yourself
• Normalizing asking for help and having varying emotions for your kids
• The importance of patience

Meet the Parenting Mentor

If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.

Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.

Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don't forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!

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Corrie is anxious and stressed about the looming introduction of a smartphone into her 9-year-old son's life. It may be a year or two off, but she's hearing worrying stories from friends with slightly older kids. She's looking for steps she can take now to promote a healthy and positive transition when the time comes.

Today, we talk about striking the balance between not wanting your kid to be the odd one out and minimizing the problems that come with smartphones. We talk about the positive aspects of smartphones and I share the number one thing she can do now: model healthy smartphone use. I note the importance of hearing your child's input and I offer tips on how to have a constructive conversation about smartphone usage.

"The less you're on your phones texting and checking emails and doing whatever in front of your kids, the better."

- Sue Groner

This week on The Parenting Mentor:

• The plusses and minuses of smartphones
• Modeling healthy smartphone usage
• The power of a constructive conversation

Meet the Parenting Mentor

If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.

Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.

Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don't forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!

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Veronica isn't happy with the way she overreacts at her 3-year-old daughter, especially when she's not listening or making a mess. If you ever find yourself yelling at your children, this episode may help you reframe your reactions so that you and your child understand and can move forward.

Today, we talk about how Veronica can revise her approach so that, in the moment, she's able to resist the temptation to lose her temper. She notes that some specific things stress her out through no fault of her daughter and discusses the source of this stress, and we talk about how she can open up to her daughter about her struggles in this area. I talk about the ways Veronica can reframe the things her daughter does that stress her out, I note the power of a kitchen timer, and I stress the importance of talking through emotions with consistent vocabulary.

"She's not creating a mess; she's learning something."

- Sue Groner

This week on The Parenting Mentor:

• Why it's okay to be vulnerable with your child
• The power of reframing
• The power of a kitchen timer
• Using consistent vocabulary to explain emotions

Meet the Parenting Mentor

If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.

Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.

Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don't forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!

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