The Parenting Wisdom

Check out all the programs or join the newsletter: efratamira.comYour kid’s team just lost, and the first thing he hears is, “That must have been hard, be easy on yourself.” It sounds kind, but when that is the whole message, it keeps him stuck in a victim mindset.Trauma, anxiety, triggers: words that once belonged in the therapist’s office are now part of our kids’ everyday lives, at school and at home. In this episode I trace where this language came from and what it is doing to our children, and then I share an older story from Jewish wisdom that teaches kids the world is for them.In this video:How our culture’s focus on physical safety grew into “emotional safety,” and how the word trauma came to mean almost anything that hurtsWhat Abigail Shrier found inside today’s classrooms, from trauma-informed education to social-emotional learningWhy the words a child uses shape the way he experiences his own lifeFour ways to help your child meet challenges as chances to grow💬 Think of a hard moment your child came through and grew from, and share it in the comments. Other parents need to hear those stories.▶ Watch next: Why Your Anxious Child Doesn’t Have a Feelings Problem, They Have an Identity Problem:https://youtu.be/Ldsgq7D5wcw?si=NdMytL2yL6Ppw0cbChapters:0:00 When "be easy on yourself" backfires0:28 How therapy words went mainstream0:52 What this video will show you1:11 How a safety culture took over1:50 How the meaning of "trauma" changed2:21 Pain vs trauma: why the difference matters2:47 Normal hardships now called trauma3:34 The loop of fragility3:56 Bad Therapy: what's happening in schools4:42 Trauma-informed education5:04 The mountain: too much focus on feelings5:19 Overprotected kids and real-life growth6:03 Post-traumatic growth6:14 What happens when kids believe they're fragile6:39 Your turn: share your story6:54 The older story that strengthens7:30 The Art of Elevation: the world is for you8:04 Two questions: "Why me?" vs "What am I asked to do?"8:38 The deeper meaning of hardship9:38 Pain has meaning9:51 Four steps to start at home10:04 Step 1: Honor feelings, then guide forward10:32 Step 2: Share your own hard moments10:53 Step 3: Tell stories of heroic figures11:13 Step 4: Help your child take one action11:37 Your home can tell a different story11:57 Watch next: The anxious child and identityBooks and sources mentionedGreg Lukianoff & Jonathan Haidt, The Coddling of the American MindNassim Nicholas Taleb, AntifragileAbigail Shrier, Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing UpYehiel Harari, The Art of ElevationRyan Holiday, The Obstacle Is the WayFoulkes & Andrews (2023), “Are mental health awareness efforts contributing to the rise in reported mental health problems?” New Ideas in Psychology: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.newideapsych.2023.101010CDC, Data and Statistics on Children’s Mental Health: https://www.cdc.gov/children-mental-health/data-research/index.htmlThis video is about the ordinary hardships every child faces. If your child has been through abuse or serious trauma, please reach out to a qualified professional for support.Parenting Wisdom with Efrat Amira helps parents of kids 8 and up raise children with strong values, inner strength and a sense of purpose. Subscribe for a new episode every week.#parenting #resilientkids #parentingadvice #raisingkids

For more resources, go to efratamira.comMy seven-year-old used to cry his way up our steep driveway every garbage day. A year later, taking the bins up and down is the job he's proudest of, and the change had nothing to do with stricter rules.Most parenting advice focuses on getting kids to behave. This episode is about a deeper goal: raising kids who want to be good, even when no one is watching.In this episode:- The two kinds of feeling good, instant gratification and fulfillment, and why we mix them up- What science says about the "quick hit," from Anna Lembke and Robert Lustig- The animal soul and the godly soul in the Tanya, and why fulfillment comes from connection- How today's "I want it now" culture works against our kids- Why wanting to be good is a muscle, and how to build it at home- Practical ideas for kids 8–11 and 12+, plus the step most parents miss- What to do when your child whines and drags their feet💬 Tell me in the comments: What's one job your child could own from start to finish that would make them feel needed?▶️ Watch next: Building a moral foundation at home → https://youtu.be/eNj-brnsZN8?si=3uJ7njMxoVJ-BtmB🌱 Go deeper:Becoming Leaders, Raising Leaders → efratamira.com/becoming-leadersCHAPTERS0:00 The driveway0:29 Behave vs. want to0:52 Two kinds of feeling good2:48 What science tells us3:27 The two souls4:30 The "I want it now" world6:04 Wanting to be good is a muscle6:56 The garbage bin story9:01 How to let them feel it10:16 Helping them notice the feeling11:06 Setting our expectations12:13 Bringing it together12:36 More keys: modeling, ownership and a moral foundationSOURCES- Anna Lembke, Dopamine Nation (2021)- Robert H. Lustig, The Hacking of the American Mind (2017)- Aknin, Hamlin & Dunn, "Giving Leads to Happiness in Young Children," PLoS ONE (2012): https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0039211- Tanya, R. Schneur Zalman of Liadi, chapters 1–2Parenting Wisdom with Efrat Amira helps parents look deeper at the parenting norms of our culture and find practical ways to raise kids differently, drawing on Jewish wisdom.#parenting #raisingkids #jewishparenting #parentingtips

Every parent gets pulled off center. The yelling, the reacting, the moments you promised yourself you'd handle differently. What matters is knowing how to come back.

In this conversation, I sit down with Dr. Tami Hartman, a pediatric and prenatal chiropractor and mom of two teens who has spent almost 30 years watching family dynamics up close. We talk about what it really means to parent from your center: letting go of control, why validating every feeling may be leading us astray, and how to tell in the moment whether your child needs more love or more structure.

Tami also shares how a serious illness stripped her life down to its essence, and the simple practices that kept bringing her back: meditation, prayer, and going outside. You'll hear why the answers you're looking for may not be in the next parenting book. They may already be inside you.

In this episode:

• Why yelling is often about control, and what to do instead
• The difference between reacting and responding
• Why not every feeling needs to be validated
• The Kabbalistic "center line": balancing love and boundaries
• "Be still and know": slowing down to hear your own wisdom
• Practical ways to build a spiritual foundation in your kids, at any age

💬 Tell me in the comments: What pulls you off center most as a parent, and what brings you back?

Go deeper with my programs: https://efratamira.comYour kid says "that's just YOUR opinion," and suddenly you don't know what to say. It's not a discipline problem. It's a missing moral foundation, and home is the only place left where our kids will learn it.We went from "do as I say, don't ask questions" to "your opinion is all that matters." Neither one works. In this video, I share how to let your kids be heard while you stay the parent, by teaching them that right and wrong are real.In this episode:✔️ 7 everyday moral questions that should never be left to "what do you think?"✔️ Dr. Leonard Sax's "culture of disrespect," and how it quietly undermines parents✔️ Why so many kids today dream of fame and money instead of goodness✔️ The 6 values every healthy society is built on✔️ 4 practical ways to teach a moral framework at home⏱️ CHAPTERS00:00 Redefining Parenting Authority00:22 Navigating Moral Questions with Children01:17 Understanding Cultural Influences on Parenting03:17 Establishing a Moral Framework05:18 Core Values for a Healthy Society06:58 The Shift in Children's Aspirations09:01 Teaching Values in a Changing World11:43 Practical Ways to Instill Values13:21 The Importance of a Solid Moral Ground▶️ WATCH NEXT: Why Your Anxious Child Doesn't Have a Feelings Problem, They Have an Identity Problem💬 Tell me in the comments: what's one value you refuse to let the culture teach your child?📚 SOURCESLeonard Sax, The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups (2016), Ch. 1, "The Culture of Disrespect": https://www.leonardsax.com/books/the-collapse-of-parenting/Matthew Simoneau, University of Wisconsin-Stout, via The Conversation (June 2026): https://theconversation.com/from-norway-to-wisconsin-children-want-to-be-social-media-influencers-when-they-grow-up-284251🌿 Go deeper with my programs: https://efratamira.com#ParentingTips #RaisingKids #SpiritualParenting

Is your anxious child struggling with an identity problem rather than a feelings problem? Learn why modern labels miss the mark.We often rush to label our children with mental health labels or gender identities before they have any grasp of their own values or family history. This societal pressure to define the self constantly can leave kids feeling overwhelmed by the weight of their own freedom.Anxious child behavior is rarely just about feeling too much. By shifting our focus from immediate symptom management to building a foundation of core values, we help children navigate the world without getting lost in these premature definitions. When we stop viewing our child's distress as a problem to be solved and start seeing it as a crisis of meaning, we provide the stability they actually need for healthy emotional resilience.Subscribe for weekly parenting advice breakdowns, and let me know in the comments how you handle these difficult conversations at home.

Are you an empathetic parent raising a child who can't handle the word "no"? Who breaks down at every frustration, speaks disrespectfully, or expects you to fix everything?You're not doing it wrong because you lack empathy. You might be doing it wrong because of it.In this video I'm going to show you the 4 ways empathy backfires in parenting — and what ancient wisdom from Plato, Buddha, and Jewish mysticism (the Tanya) teaches us about what empathy is actually for.The answer has everything to do with two inner forces every human is born with — and your job as a parent is not to remove your child's discomfort. It's to help them move through it.In this episode:✔ The 4 patterns that steal your child's maturation moments (without you realizing it)✔ The difference between empathy and enmeshment — and why it matters✔ What the animal soul and godly soul have to do with raising resilient kids✔ Exactly what to say to a toddler, a tween, and a teenager in the moment✔ What a truly mature person looks like — and how you help your child become oneChapters:00:00 The Challenge of Modern Parenting02:48 Understanding the Animal and Godly Soul06:10 Patterns of Overprotection in Parenting09:04 Empathy vs. Enmeshment in Parenting11:59 Practical Strategies for Different Age Groups14:51 The Journey Towards Maturation

Your kid comes home from school and the first words out of their mouth are: "Why does this always happen to me?"What you say next is shaping how your child sees the entire world — as a place that is out to get them, or a place they can navigate from a position of strength.In this video I teach you one concept from ancient Jewish wisdom that changes that answer forever. Not through lectures or pep talks — but through the way you respond in the small, everyday moments when your child comes to you hurt, frustrated, or stuck.You will learn:- Why children default to "why me" thinking and what is really behind it- The spiritual root of this idea from the book The Art of Elevation by Yechiel Harari- 4 practical principles from ancient Jewish wisdom that you can start using today- What to say instead of "Are you okay?" in the hardest parenting momentsThis is not about positive thinking. It is about giving your child a deep, unshakeable belief that challenges exist to reveal their strength — not to prove they are not enough.FREE DOWNLOAD: The Reframe Toolkit7 questions to ask instead of "Are you okay?" — with when to use each one and why it works.Download here: https://www.efratamira.com/reframeBOOK MENTIONED:The Art of Elevation by Yechiel HarariTIMESTAMPS:00:00 Understanding Children's Emotional Responses02:07 The Power of Perspective in Parenting05:53 Principles for Empowering Children12:12 Real-Life Applications and Success Stories#parentingtips #jewishwisdom #consciousparenting #raisingkids #parentingadvice #kabbalah #resilience #parentingphilosophy #momlife #dadlife

Your child isn't anxious because of school, screens, or pressure- those are just the places where anxiety lands. In this episode I share what anxiety really is (hint: it's not fear), the three "thieves" that quietly stole meaning from modern childhood — the achievement-obsessed schedule, the lost outdoors, and the family that became a taxi service- and the three connections that bring meaning and calm back into your child's life: belonging, nature, and the sacred. Simple habits. No cost. Real change.Drawing on the work of cognitive scientist John Vervaeke, Iain McGilchrist, and Richard Louv's Last Child in the Woods — woven together with ancient Jewish wisdom.00:00 The Crisis of Meaning in Childhood02:44 Three Ways Childhood Loses Meaning07:57 The Impact of Modern Family Dynamics12:46 Restoring Meaning Through Connection16:15 The Bigger Picture: Mental Health and Meaning👉 Watch next: Why AI Is Destroying Your Kids' Motivation

We're raising the first generation in modern history that's testing lower than their parents — less attention, less memory, even lower IQ — and they're doing it while AI can already ace the very tasks we grade them on. So how do we keep our kids motivated to learn? The answer is an idea Jewish wisdom gave us thousands of years ago about our single deepest drive in life. plus 4 practical tools to help your child tap into it and gain a motivation no machine can ever compete with.Chapters:00:00 The Obsession with Results01:44 The Decline in Cognitive Development05:39 The True Pleasure of Learning08:36 Practical Tools for Motivating Learning10:36 Bringing It All Together

Stop over-parenting and reduce child anxiety using a 4,000-year-old framework. Learn the exact balance between engagement and autonomy.Many parents today spend more time with their children than ever before, yet kids are reporting higher levels of stress and anxiety. This paradox suggests that modern parenting styles often lean too heavily into control, unintentionally stifling a child's development. This video explores why constant supervision can be detrimental and how to identify when to step back.We examine a 4,000-year-old Kabbalistic formula designed to guide parents through the daily challenges of child-rearing. By understanding these timeless principles, you can discern when your involvement is helpful and when it becomes an obstacle to your child's well-being. This guide is for any parent looking to foster independence while maintaining a strong, healthy connection with their children.If you want to reduce child anxiety and improve your parenting approach, subscribe for weekly family well-being breakdowns. Which aspect of modern parenting do you find most challenging to balance?Chapters: 00:00 Understanding the Soul Forces in Parenting02:26 Chesed: The Power and Pitfalls of Unconditional Love04:35 Gvura: The Importance of Boundaries and Discipline06:39 Tiferet: The Balance of Love and Restraint08:23 Practical Applications of Ancient Wisdom10:41 The True Nature of Parenting