The Partnership Lab

Protocol: What if the way you experience desire isn’t random—but actually follows a pattern?

In this episode, we dive into the concept of Erotic Blueprints, a framework that helps explain how and why we experience arousal, connection, and pleasure differently.

We break down all five blueprint types—Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, and Shapeshifter—and share real-world examples of what each one looks like in practice.

Then things get personal. We reveal our own results, unpack what surprised us, and explore how understanding our blueprints is already changing the way we communicate, connect, and experience intimacy.

This conversation isn’t just about sex—it’s about language, self-acceptance, and realizing you might not be “weird”… just misunderstood.

🧪 In This Episode:

• What Erotic Blueprints are and why they matter
• The 5 blueprint types explained in real-world terms
• Our personal results (and what shocked us)
• The “shadow sides” that can block connection
• How understanding your partner’s blueprint changes everything

🔬 Resources Mentioned:

• Erotic Blueprint Quiz (via The Desire Lab)
• Sex, Love & Goop (Netflix)
• Monogamish Marriage podcast
• How to Build a Sex Room (Netflix)

📚 Next Episode:

We’re starting our first Listener Lab Book Club with: Open by Rachel Krantz

Read along—we’ll be breaking it down next episode.

💬 Join the Conversation:

What’s your blueprint?

📩 Email: [email protected] 📱 Instagram: @the_partnership_lab

Disclaimer: These conversations reflect our personal experiences and are not professional advice.

Listener Lab: Real-time questions, honest answers, and figuring it out as we go

What happens when you stop planning—and just start talking?

In this episode of The Partnership Lab, we’re trying something new. This is our first Listener Lab: a more relaxed, real-time experiment where we use a few prompts and see where the conversation takes us.

Using Fifty Questions to Ask Before Opening Your Relationship, we explore topics like jealousy, connection, communication, and why we’re even doing this in the first place. Some answers come easily. Others don’t. But that’s kind of the point.

This isn’t polished.

This is us thinking out loud.

In This Episode

• Introducing Listener Lab: a more interactive, real-time format
• Reflecting on feeling “vanilla” and early in the journey
• Confidence, comparison, and supporting each other in imbalance
• Honesty, identity, and rebuilding as individuals
• Challenging traditional narratives and redefining connection
• Emotional vs sexual connection: do you need both?
• Apps vs real-life connection and building community
• Communication, reassurance, and “filling in the gaps”
• Growth, curiosity, and the idea of “more life,” not replacement
• Why this process is already improving our relationship

Contact

Contact us with comments, questions, stories, advice, encouragement, or whatever else you want to send: [email protected]

Suggested Resources Mentioned in the Episode

• 50 Questions to Ask Before Opening Your Relationship — Dr. Rachel Meyer
• Dr. Rachel's Naughty Gym Episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/naughty-gym-show-building-stronger-non-monogamous-relationships/id1701360007?i=1000735196506
• Midwest Love Fest - https://lovefestevents.com/mwlf25/
• We Can Do Hard Things Astrology Episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/astrology-for-skeptics-sonya-renee-taylor-reads-our-charts/id1564530722?i=1000741471659
• Open — Rachel Krantz (https://a.co/d/0cepjbvM) FUTURE BOOK CLUB EPISODE
• Erotic Blueprint Quiz — https://missjaiya.com/

Disclaimer

These conversations reflect our own observations and experiences and are not professional or institutional advice. They do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of employers, family, or guests, nor imply their approval of the content shared.

FIELD NOTES: What does it actually feel like to step into something new—for the first time, for real?

In this episode of The Partnership Lab, the research phase turns into lived experience. Roz returns from a women’s pleasure retreat, and together we unpack what actually happened—not just the events themselves, but the emotional, mental, and relational impact of stepping outside the familiar.

From fear and self-reflection to desire, communication, and first physical experiences, this episode captures what it looks like when theory becomes reality. Not perfectly. Not cleanly. But honestly.

This isn’t the idea of it anymore.

This is what it feels like.

In This Episode

• Inside the women’s retreat: setting, structure, and first impressions
• Acknowledging fear—and what happens when you say it out loud
• Desire vs. anxiety: learning to listen to what you actually want
• Left brain vs. right brain: fear, control, and curiosity
• Using your inner critic as a tool instead of a barrier
• Consent frameworks (FRIES) and what “enthusiastic” really means
• Practicing “the ask” and how to clearly communicate desire
• First experiences: flogging, sensual touch, and group dynamics
• Overstimulation, boundaries, and learning your limits in real time
• Discovering unexpected turn-ons (and surprises along the way)
• What it felt like to be home vs. away—for both Roz and Max
• Jealousy, anxiety, and communication gaps from the partner perspective
• What we’d change next time (especially around communication)

Contact us at with comments, questions, stories, advice, encouragement, or whatever else you want to send: [email protected]

Suggested resources mentioned in the episode:

• Expansive Connection — https://www.expansiveconnection.com/
• Sapio Tours — https://sapiotours.com/
• Monogamish Marriage Podcast — https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-monogamish-marriage/id1586549659
• BDSM Test — https://bdsmtest.org/
• How to Build a Sex Room — https://www.netflix.com/title/81220971
• Erotic Blueprint Quiz — https://missjaiya.com/
• Where Should We Begin? (ice breaker card game) - Esther Perel
• Beyond Anxiety — Martha Beck
• The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk
• Roz's Strappy Red Outfit from Garden Party (you're welcome) - https://a.co/d/0bnYwcer

Disclaimer

These conversations reflect our own observations and experiences and are not professional or institutional advice. They do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of employers, family, or guests, nor imply their approval of the content shared.

PROTOCOL ENTRY:

What does it actually look like to prepare—mentally, emotionally, and relationally—before taking your first step into something new?

In this episode of The Partnership Lab, we’re in the research phase. Before anything happens, before any lines are crossed, before any real-world experiences—we’re doing the work. Roz is preparing for a women’s retreat focused on pleasure, desire, and self-discovery, and together we walk through what that preparation actually looks like in real time. From homework assignments and self-reflection exercises to a live hall pass conversation, this episode captures the questions, boundaries, and emotions that come up before taking a first step.

This isn’t a recap. This is the lead-up.

In This Episode

• What we’ve been up to since Episode 1
• Roz’s upcoming women’s retreat and what drew her to it
• The “homework” assignments leading up to the retreat
• Erotic blueprints and BDSM test results
• A real-time hall pass conversation (before anything happens)
• Boundaries, communication, and how we’re approaching this intentionally
• Excitement, fears, and what we’re both feeling going into it

Contact us at with comments, questions, stories, advice, encouragement, or whatever else you want to send: [email protected]

Suggested resources mentioned in the episode:

• Expansive Connection - https://www.expansiveconnection.com/
• Sapio Tours - https://sapiotours.com/
• Monogamish Marriage Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-monogamish-marriage/id1586549659
• BDSM Test - https://bdsmtest.org/
• How to Build a Sex Room - https://www.netflix.com/title/81220971
• Erotic Blueprint Quiz - https://missjaiya.com/
• Roz's Walk-On Music:
  • https://music.apple.com/us/album/stand-out/1452864288?i=1452864786
  • https://music.apple.com/us/album/high-hopes/1361152002?i=1361152303
• Max's Walk-On Music (Secret Show Note Easter Egg):
  • https://music.apple.com/us/album/the-man/1440900336?i=1440900406

Disclaimer

These conversations reflect our own observations and experiences and are not professional or institutional advice. They do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of employers, family, or guests, nor imply their approval of the content shared.

How does a long-term, monogamous relationship turn into a conversation about opening up?

In this first episode of The Partnership Lab, we share how we got here - from growing up with traditional views on sex and relationships, to reconnecting after years together, and beginning to explore consensual non-monogamy .... before anything has actually happened.

We talk about the messages we were given about sex, what out early relationships looked like, and how a single conversation eventually turned into months of reflection, research, deeper intimacy and communication.

We're still in the "research phase", and that's exactly the point. This podcast is about exploring our relationship, and how we relate with others, in real time. We'll share what we're learning along the way with curiosity, communication, and intention.

In This Episode

• How we met and built our 20+ year relationship together
• What we were taught (and not taught) about sex, monogamy, and relationships
• How life's stressors weakened our connection, and how we've recaptured that spark
• The first conversation about opening up, including whose first reaction was "I'd be too jealous", and how their perspective shifted over time
• What we're exploring next

Contact us at with comments, questions, stories, advice, encouragement, or whatever else you want to send: [email protected]

Suggested resources mentioned in the episode:

• The Monogamish Marriage - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-monogamish-marriage/id1586549659
• Naughty Gym - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/naughty-gym-show-building-stronger-non-monogamous-relationships/id1701360007
• Hacking Love - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hacking-love-deepening-commitment-through-open-relationships/id1770657936

Disclaimer

These conversations reflect our own observations and experiences and are not professional or institutional advice. They do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of employers, family, or guests, nor imply their approval of the content shared.