The televisual schedule continues to be utter rubbish and short of vintage gems to digest and dissect, Doctor Velvet and Blackout have once again sent Producer Ken round to the video shop to procure some small-screen cinematic entertainment for The Peggy Mount Sunday Matinee Hour...

The Peggy Mount Sunday Matinee Hour video shop is open and the tapes are simply flying off the shelves. But far from numbing their brains to the latest popcorn-fodder, Doctor Velvet and Blackout prefer to crack open the reserve rum and engage with a maritime marvel from the vintage selection...

But lo, something is in the air! The  evenings are lighter, the breeze is warmer and the studio at MountPeg Towers might even be getting closer to its annual clean (don't hold your breath. Actually, holding your breath in there might be an idea). Yes, spring has sprung and drink will be drunk as Doctor Velvet and Blackout presage the new series of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour with a quintet of special episodes focusing on big screen entertainment; albeit viewed on a small screen...

OCH! Well help our boabs and jing our crivvens, The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour finds itself queuing once more at Berwick's passport office in an annual pilgrimage northward for the New Year's Eve celebrations, where all Blackout, Doctor Velvet and Ozzy Bognops have to declare is some pretty firm Opinions™ on the television of years past...

Splash the halls with pints of sherry, fa-la-la-la-laaa etc, it's the joyous culmination of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour's Yuletide Extravaganza! The final baubles are placed on branches which have already begun shedding into the carpet, the last odd-tasting chocolate is snaffled from behind a cardboard door and washed down with booze it's socially acceptable to drink before [email protected]

As dear Laird McMullington of Kintyre once slaved 'pon his bureau to note: "The moon is right; the dander's up; we're watching channel three tonight; there's absolute hell on". And as cumbersome as those lyrics may appear in their written form, it's worth noting that his same ditty goes on to employ the carefully chosen libretto "ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding ooh ooooh". So y'know, you take your cultural insight where you can find it...

Christmas may only come once a year, but The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour presents an unholy trinity of seasonal specials to keep you warm during the darkest month. Doctor Velvet and Blackout invite Ozzy Bognops round for yuletide reminiscence, irreverent chat and lashings of booze as they delve into the televisual archive and summon the ghosts of Christmas past...

It's all go round at MountPeg Towers as Doctor Velvet and Blackout limber up to slip in a quick one before Christmas (quiet at the back), and end up rolling out the welcome mat for Simon and Ken from The Exton Moss Experiment podcast. Because what could be more self indulgent than two middle-aged men mulling over the slightly bitter taste of eighties reminiscence, than doubling that up for a foursome? (really, keep it down)

Gather round! It is time once more to bob your apples, carve some pumpkins and get them treats tricked, as our cauldron is stirred for a generous and potentially lethal helping of the home-brewed Peggy Mount Calamity Hour's Hallow'een Special! Yes, there's just time before the Feast Of All Saints to get your fangs stuck into a couple of spooky morsels, whether it's out of hunger for untold riches, long-sought vengeance or just a liverwurst and ice cream sandwich.

Because we are nothing if not the guests you cannot get shot of at the end of a party, ten episodes was never going to be enough tomfoolery and so we are proud to present the first of this year's seasonal shenanigans in the bumper Peggy Mount Calamity Hour Summertime Special Summertime Special...