The Pilot’s Wife - Long-Term Relationship Tips With Amy McLaren

Amy takes a swallow of her own medicine and listens to her own advice in the latest episode of The Pilot's Wife.

She goes deeper into a concept mentioned in the previous episode (#27) about assessing the risk in any given decision to decide whether to take the risk or not. This method is super simple and exceptionally effective for making good decisions you will not regret.

Especially in the current environment, there are many things that seem to be outside of our control to do with challenges, change and routines. What % of each of these things do you see in your lives? Because if we are unhappy with the proportion of certain things in our lives, we get stressed. And that doesn't usually bode well for the people closest to us.

In this episode Amy takes a look at the %'s in her own life, and talks through some examples of ways she is trying to take back some semblance of control in the areas where she isn't happy with the percentages.

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In the final part of a two-part series on Problem Solving, Amy gets into the nitty gritty. This is all about the things to say, how to say them, and what to look for to find the answers you both haven't been able to get so far.

If you want to be a boss when it comes to resolving conflict and solving relationship issues, this episode is a must to listen to!

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If you've been listening for a while, you would have noticed Amy talks about problem solving in marriage A LOT.

In this episode, the first of a 2-part series, Amy gives you the strategies and tactics for preparing to sit down and solve a problem with your spouse. If you want to have a successful session of problem solving, where the problem actually gets resolved, there is a little bit of prep you need to understand first to get the results you both want.

Get a pen and paper, take notes, and if you do this right, you WILL get a win-win solution in your marriage.

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If you were having trouble in your relationship, would your family tell you to work it through with your partner? Chances are in the NZ culture, they would probably tell you something like "you shouldn't have to put up with that!".

There are two problems with this:

1. They are biased 

2. They are usually not qualified to advise you on how to resolve your relationship issue

Amy uses a slightly sneaky tactic to illustrate her point, and hopes she won't get into too much trouble with Josh when he finds out!

When we face great pressures, the most common reaction is to get angry. How are we supposed to deal with anger from the person we love, when anger is such an unloveable thing to have to respond to?

What if it is getting out of hand, and we're getting tired of the anger spewing out too often?

Don't worry! Here are some concrete strategies for responding that Amy and Josh have been practising for the past 4-5 years. They've experienced an ongoing set of stressful situations during and after a problematic house build, with two young children, and have practised these strategies over and over - and they work.

In this episode Amy describes detail never before shared about their struggles to have children, and the choice to move ahead with their second-top goal of building a house. After which they finally became pregnant. She tells of problems with their house build, and the crazy times of having no other choice but to live in the house they were building, while it was unfinished (no plumbing) with an unsettled baby, a two year old, and builders with nail guns working around them. Plus, Josh was spending every waking moment he was not away flying planes, helping to complete the build.

Amy and Josh have known acute stresses on their relationship, and here's how they made it through without divorcing.

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After filming their online course, in this episode Amy goes back to one of the topics covered in the course - money. She adds more detail about the quote from Tim Ferris, author of The 4-Hour Work Week:

"In part, it’s laziness. “If only I had more money” is the easiest way to postpone the intense self-examination and decision- making necessary to create a life of enjoyment – now and not later..."

Amy talks about the resources needed for our hobbies: money, and time, and poses a challenge for working out exactly how much we need to achieve satisfaction in life.

Did you know that the average married couple spends about 20 minutes PER WEEK talking? But conversations with each other build closeness, which is what provides the most enriching relationship possible.

Discover the REAL TRUTH behind three popular myths that we think block us from have regular, rewarding conversations with our spouse.

If we get stuck in a funk in our relationships, what are some things we can do to get ourselves out of it? That is, things that we have control over? For some of us, that might be to try and find something funny to laugh about, since laughing is a fantastic medicine.

Only listen to this episode if you want a good laugh!