Encouragementology

The Power of Influence: Recognizing What Shapes Us and Taking Control

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On this show…we are exploring the power of influence, recognizing what shapes us, and taking back control. We have all been bombarded with messaging asking, begging, and sometimes coercing us to think, feel, and take action. Where do your own thoughts hide in the midst of such assaults? Influence as a pervasive force in our lives that can shape our choices, our mindset, and even our identity. It can feel like a current—sometimes it gently guides us, but other times it’s strong enough to sweep us off our feet. The key is in recognizing where influence is coming from and deciding how much power to give it. Let’s take a big breathe here and make a commitment to unpack, resort, and purge some influencing ideas that no longer serve us in a positive way. 

Influence is more than just peer pressure; it’s subtle and can come from various sources—family, friends, social media, society, our inner dialogue, and even our environment. 

  • A close friend’s advice feels comforting but can sometimes lead you down their path instead of yours.
  • Social media trends can push you to buy, think, or act in ways you normally wouldn’t.
  • Influence of a mentor or a loved one can impactfully shape your values and ambitions.

    • Tyler Jensen, a psychotherapist,  sheds some light on The Allure of Negativity: Why Our Brains Are Drawn to It

    At Knowledge of Wharton, I found ‘Invisible Influence’: What Really Shapes Our Decisions, an interview with the author Jonah Berger

    On Simon Sinek’s YouTube channel, as always, I found some wise words  on How to Stop Holding Yourself Back

    1. Develop Media Literacy and Mindful Consumption
    • Pause and Evaluate: Before you engage with media (whether it’s news, social media, or entertainment), take a moment to reflect on what you’re about to consume. Ask yourself why you’re choosing this source, and consider whether it aligns with your values or goals.
  • Question the Source: Develop a habit of asking, “Who created this, and what might be their motivation?” For example, consider whether a brand, influencer, or network could have hidden interests. Recognizing potential biases helps you stay in control of how you interpret information.
    1. Limit Exposure to Influential Sources
    • Set Boundaries: If you notice certain media or social media accounts lead to self-doubt, stress, or unhealthy comparison, consider unfollowing, muting, or setting a time limit on those platforms.
  • Curate Positive Influences: Choose to follow people, brands, and organizations that support your goals, align with your values, and inspire you in constructive ways. Make it a rule to engage with content that adds positivity and growth to your life.
    1. Strengthen Your Core Values
    • Define Your Values: Reflect on what’s truly important to you, whether it’s integrity, creativity, kindness, learning, or independence. When you have a solid sense of your core values, it becomes easier to recognize when outside influence aligns or conflicts with them.
  • Regularly Revisit Goals and Priorities: Set aside time each month to revisit your goals. Are you on track with what you want, or have you drifted because of external pressures? Realigning with your values keeps you grounded in your personal vision.
    1. Practice Self-Questioning to Uncover Hidden Influence
    • Ask Yourself Key Questions:
      • “Why do I want to do this?” This question can help you determine if a choice truly aligns with your desires or if it’s an idea you’ve absorbed from others.
  • “How do I feel about this?” Checking in with your feelings lets you see if you’re enthusiastic, uneasy, or pressured—emotions that reveal whether your decision is authentic.
  • “What would I do if no one else were watching?” Imagine you’re free of anyone’s opinion or judgment to help identify choices that are truly your own.
    1. Build Confidence in Your Own Voice
    • Challenge Yourself to Act on Your Opinions: Start with small decisions where you rely solely on your own thoughts. For example, choose an outfit based on your preference, pick a book that genuinely interests you, or make weekend plans based on what would make you happiest.
  • Engage in Conversations with an Open Mind: Practice sharing your perspective in discussions, even if it’s different from others. Engaging with diverse opinions while sticking to your viewpoint can help build resilience and confidence in your own voice.
    1. Create a Supportive Inner Circle
    • Surround Yourself with Encouragers: Choose friends, mentors, and family members who respect your individuality and encourage you to make decisions that feel true to you. A supportive circle will uplift and validate you, rather than pressuring you to conform.
  • Find Accountability Partners: Identify someone who’s also working on taking control of their influences and check in with each other. Share your progress, any struggles, and celebrate wins together to help reinforce each other’s growth.
    1. Practice Self-Compassion and Flexibility
    • Recognize that Influence is Natural: Understand that we’re all influenced by our environments. Self-compassion can prevent you from feeling guilty if you realize you’ve been swayed in a direction you didn’t want. Instead, view it as an opportunity to learn and readjust.
  • Be Open to Change: Sometimes, testing your perspective means you might genuinely change your opinion. That’s a sign of growth. The goal is to ensure that any changes reflect your evolving self rather than fleeting external pressures.

    • CHALLENGE: Remember, influence is a force we all experience, but it doesn’t have to control us. Recognize what’s guiding your path, decide what you want to allow in, and remember that you have the power to steer your own journey.

     

    I Know YOU Can Do It!

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    EncouragementologyBy Kendell Boysen