SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are exploring guilt and gaslighting as we unravel the mind’s silent saboteurs. This topic is as sneaky as a cat burglar and as subtle as a whoopee cushion at a royal banquet: guilt and gaslighting. Ever felt like your mind’s been playing tricks on you, only to realize someone else was the magician?  Life throws enough curveballs without someone pitching guilt and gaslighting into the mix, right? But here’s the good news—you have the power to call out those sneaky mind games, hit pause on the guilt spiral, and rewrite the narrative. Today, we’re diving deep into the tricky terrain of guilt and gaslighting: why they happen, how they mess with your head, and most importantly, how you can rise above them. So buckle up for a journey of clarity and courage because It’s time to reclaim your peace of mind and say, “No thanks, manipulation—I’ll stick to reality!”

To set the stage, let’s define our key players. Guilt is that nagging feeling when we’ve done something wrong—or sometimes when we haven’t, but someone wants us to think we have. Gaslighting, on the other hand, is a form of psychological manipulation where someone makes you doubt your own reality. It’s like being convinced that the sky is green when you know it’s blue. Understanding these concepts is the first step in recognizing their impact on our lives.

At Neuro Launch I found some Effects of Gaslighting on the Brain: Psychological and Neurological Impacts

Over at Psych Central, I found How to Spot Manipulation Tactics

Frederick Ribersson on the Decoding Narcissism’s YouTube channel How to IMPLODE A Narcissist GUILT Trip Game 

Let’s not let the idea of Rising Above go unexplored. We’ve all heard of rising above a situation as being the bigger person, taking the high road an letting things go first. But I want you to think of another idea…actually hovering over a situation to get a different perspective. 

Imagine being in the middle of chaos, drama, or any overwhelming situation. In the middle is tough because it feels like you are surrounded and from this vantage point where you can’t see your way out, you might feel hopeless. 

Rise above, crawl up higher in your mind’s eye so that you can look down on a situation. From up here the issue shrinks and you can take in the entire scope of the situation seeing how thinks can be interrelated or interdependent. From this new perspective and the time you took to gain it, you can truly process the challenge and your next move. 

You have more control over your thinking than you think you do. 

For instance:

CHALLENGE: Trust your inner compass, set firm boundaries, and seek support when faced with manipulation. Embrace your reality and stand strong against those who attempt to distort it. You own your power!

I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we’re diving into a topic that’s close to the bone—literally; taking ownership of your health and wellness by shifting from vanity to vitality. Have you ever found yourself sweating it out at the gym, not for the love of health, but to fit into those jeans from high school? Or perhaps you’ve chosen a salad over a burger, not because you enjoy leafy greens, but because of that looming beach vacation? Taking ownership of your health and wellness isn’t about chasing a number on the scale or squeezing into last year’s shorts—it’s about reclaiming your joy, energy, and freedom. Imagine a life where exercise feels like play, eating well becomes self-care, and you’re motivated by how amazing you feel rather than how you think you should look. It’s time to trade body-shaming for body-celebrating and turn health into your personal happiness project. 

Let’s flip the script and explore how taking ownership of our health—both physical and mental—can lead to genuine freedom, rather than being shackled by societal expectations and self-imposed limitations.

Health is a holistic state encompassing physical fitness, mental well-being, and emotional balance. It’s about how we feel, function, and thrive in our daily lives, not just how we look. Understanding this broader perspective allows us to set more meaningful health goals that contribute to our overall quality of life.

I found an insightful article that delves into how body shaming can lead to long-term psychological and physical health issues, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and eating disorders. Not to be a downer but I think we need to start off by coming clean and getting to the heart of the matter. 

Dr.  Danielle Kelvis shares The Impact of Body Shaming: How It Affects Mental Health

Alex Davies questions Could soft fitness be your workout game-changer?

Over on the Ted Archive YouTube channel I found some amazing information and inspiration from Laurie Coots on The psychological weight loss strategy 

Now that we’ve unpacked the idea of shifting from vanity to vitality and explored the roots of body shaming, it’s time to talk about how to break the cycle. Taking ownership of your health and wellness isn’t about perfection or ticking off a checklist—it’s about building habits and a mindset that prioritize your happiness, freedom, and well-being. Here are practical steps to help you flip the narrative and take control of your health, both physically and mentally.

Start by redefining your why. Instead of aiming for a certain size or shape, focus on how you want to feel. Maybe it’s more energy to keep up with your kids, a stronger body to tackle that hike, or a calmer mind to handle stress with grace. When your goals are tied to how you live, rather than how you look, they become more meaningful and sustainable.

Try This: Write down three non-aesthetic reasons you want to prioritize your health. Keep this list visible as a daily reminder of your real goals.

That little voice in your head—the one that compares you to others, nitpicks your reflection, and measures your worth by numbers? It’s time to give it a new job. Turn your inner critic into your inner coach. Celebrate small wins, speak kindly to yourself, and replace criticism with encouragement.

Try This: When you catch yourself thinking something negative about your body, pause and reframe. For example, instead of “I hate my thighs,” try “These thighs carry me through my day.”

Exercise doesn’t have to be a grueling chore. It’s not about “burning off” last night’s dessert or earning your next meal. Movement is a celebration of what your body can do! Find activities you love—dancing, swimming, yoga, hiking—and let them be a source of fun and empowerment.

Try This: Experiment with new activities until you find one that feels like play, not punishment. Then, schedule it into your week as a gift to yourself.

Ditch the diet mentality that labels foods as “good” or “bad.” Instead, think about nourishment. Choose foods that make you feel strong, energized, and satisfied. It’s not about restriction—it’s about respect for your body.

Try This: Instead of cutting out your favorite foods, add in more of the good stuff—colorful fruits, veggies, whole grains, and proteins—and notice how they make you feel.

Health isn’t just about the body; it’s about the mind, too. Make time for mental self-care: meditation, journaling, therapy, or simply unplugging from screens. A healthy mind is the foundation for making lasting changes to your physical health.

Try This: Start a gratitude journal. Write down three things each day that you’re thankful for about your body and mind.

The people and messages you surround yourself with can have a huge impact on your mindset. Seek out communities that celebrate all body types, avoid toxic comparisons on social media, and spend time with people who uplift and support you.

Try This: Curate your social media feed by unfollowing accounts that make you feel inadequate and following those that inspire body positivity and health for happiness.

Changing ingrained patterns and beliefs isn’t easy. It takes time, effort, and a lot of self-compassion. Remember, progress isn’t linear. You’ll have setbacks, but they don’t erase your progress. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d show a friend.

Try This: When you hit a rough patch, remind yourself, “I’m not starting over—I’m continuing from where I left off.”

CHALLENGE: Redefine your approach to health by focusing on activities and habits that enhance your overall well-being, not just your appearance. Embrace this holistic perspective to unlock a happier, freer, and more vibrant version of yourself.

I Know YOU Can Do It! 

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are embracing the art of saying no as we get better at setting boundaries to protect our energy. Have you ever caught yourself nodding yes before you’ve even heard the question? Like, ‘Can you…?’ and there it is—‘Sure!’ Before you know it, you’re knee-deep in a commitment you never wanted. Let’s face it—saying no can feel like the ultimate guilty pleasure. We’re so conditioned to be helpful, agreeable, and superhuman that declining a request feels like we’re letting the world down. But guess what? Protecting your energy isn’t just okay—it’s essential! In this episode, we’re diving into the art of saying no, not as a rejection but as a way to honor yourself, your values, and your time. We’ll explore what boundaries really mean, why they matter, and how to say no without the guilt trip.  

So let’s use t  hat overcommitted superhero cape for some well-deserved boundaries and exploring how to protect your precious energy. It’s time to take back your power, one polite decline at a time!

Let’s start by getting on the same page about what we mean when we talk about boundaries. No, we’re not talking about fences or “Do Not Enter” signs—although sometimes those might feel necessary! Boundaries, in this context, are the invisible lines we draw to define what’s okay and not okay for us. They’re like the personal rules of engagement for how we let others interact with our time, energy, and emotions.

Think about it: we all have a limited amount of energy each day. It’s like a rechargeable battery, but unlike your phone, there’s no power bank to save you when you’re at 1%. So, when you’re constantly saying yes—whether it’s agreeing to bake 200 cookies for the school fundraiser, staying late at work for the fifth time this week, or playing therapist to your overly dramatic friend—you’re draining that battery. And let’s be real, once it’s gone, it’s gone. That’s why boundaries are so important—they help us protect and prioritize our energy.

But here’s the tricky part: why is it so hard to say no? For many of us, it’s because we don’t want to disappoint others. We crave approval, we want to be liked, and sometimes we just want to avoid the awkwardness of conflict. So we end up overcommitting, stretching ourselves too thin, and feeling resentful—or worse, burnt out.

Let’s flip the script. Saying no doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you smart. Think of boundaries as your personalized life GPS, directing you toward the things that matter most and steering you away from unnecessary detours. They help you stay focused, reduce stress, and create stronger, more respectful relationships.

And here’s a bonus: setting boundaries can actually improve your relationships. How? Because people know where they stand with you, and that clarity builds trust. When you say yes, they’ll know you genuinely mean it, and that makes your commitment even more valuable.

So, let’s embrace this idea of boundaries not as barriers but as bridges to a more intentional, energized life. Up next, we’ll explore how to actually do this—and trust me, it doesn’t involve wearing a “No Thanks” T-shirt, although that could be a fun start!”

Sian Ferguson confesses I’m a People Pleaser Who Tried Saying "No" to Everything for a Week—Here’s What Happened found at Very Well Mind

On Self, Jenna Ryu gives us (or me) 5 Little Ways to Practice Setting Boundaries If You’re a Recovering People Pleaser

No worries, help’s on the way. On Terri Cole’s YouTube Channel, I found Saying "No" Without Justifying or Over-Explaining 

CHALLENGE:  Protect your energy by setting boundaries that reflect your values. The next time you’re asked to overextend yourself, pause, reflect, and give yourself permission to say no. Remember, every ‘no’ you say to something that drains you is a ‘yes’ to something that fuels you.

I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are taking a meaningful walk down Memory Lane as we journey to well-being and growth.  Do you ever find yourself deep in thought, wondering why a certain memory pops into your head unannounced? It’s like your brain says, ‘Hey, remember that one time you spilled coffee on your boss’s desk? Classic!’ Memories are our personal time capsules filled with joy, heartache, and lessons we’d rather not repeat. But why are they so sticky? What makes them essential to our well-being, and how can we honor them without getting stuck in the past? Let’s dive into the treasure chest of our minds and figure out how these moments shape, heal, and even save us.

Welcome to Memory Lane, where the roads are paved with laughter and tears, the occasional pothole of embarrassment, and some scenic overlooks that make you go, “Wow, I’ve come a long way!” But before we start skipping down the lane hand-in-hand with nostalgia, let’s talk about what makes these little snapshots in our minds so special—and sometimes so puzzling.

What are memories, anyway?

Think of your brain as the ultimate personal assistant—it stores your to-do lists, your grocery store disasters, and that one karaoke performance you wish it would forget. Memories are essentially your brain’s way of saying, “Hey, this moment? Worth keeping.” They’re formed when our experiences are encoded in the brain, stored for safekeeping, and then retrieved when needed—or, you know, when you’re trying to sleep at 3 a.m. UGH every night!

The sciencey bit (but fun, I promise):

There are two main types of memory:

Why do they matter?

Memories are more than just the greatest hits of your life—they’re your compass, your roadmap, and your connection to the world. They shape how you see yourself, how you relate to others, and how you make sense of everything. Without them, you’d be like a GPS with no destination input—just aimlessly wandering through life!

A fun little detour:

Ever notice how a certain smell or song can hit you like a time machine? That’s called memory triggers, and they’re sneaky little things. One whiff of sunscreen, and suddenly you’re 10 years old at the beach, building sandcastles and eating questionable hot dogs. Or maybe it’s hearing that one song that reminds you of your high school crush—cue Sister Christian, awkward dances, and terrible fashion choices.

So, before we dive into how to honor and heal through these moments, let’s take a second to appreciate this magical filing system in our heads. Your memories are proof that you’ve lived, loved, and learned—whether that lesson was to never attempt bangs again or to cherish the people who make life worth remembering.

At the International Educator, Elke Greite shares more about The Role Of Memory In Identity and Education

Dr. Kate Truitt gives us some good insight into Healing Through the Art of Storytelling

On Ted-Ed’s YouTube Channel, I found How Memories Form and How We Lose Them by Catharine Young

CHALLENGE: Take time this week to revisit one memory that brings you joy and reflect on how it has shaped you. Then, create a new moment to treasure—because the story of your life deserves another great chapter.

I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are exploring The Power of Habit as we aim to create and sustain positive behaviors. Habits—those sneaky little routines that either keep us on track or derail us faster than a spilled cup of coffee on Monday morning. Whether it’s hitting snooze one too many times, grabbing that extra cookie you swore you wouldn’t, or finally nailing a consistent workout routine, habits shape our lives more than we realize.

But here’s the good news: habits aren’t just hardwired; they can be rewired. So let’s dive deep into what makes habits stick, why they’re so stubborn, and how we can transform even the tiniest shifts into life-changing routines.

Think of it like building a house—you don’t lay the roof first; you start with one solid brick at a time. The same goes for habits: small, intentional changes can lead to extraordinary growth. So, get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even uncover a habit or two you didn’t know you had! Let’s crack the code to better routines and a better you.

First, let’s define what a habit is and how it’s formed. A habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously. According to Psychology Today, habit formation is the process by which behaviors become automatic through repetition. This process involves a three-step pattern known as the “habit loop”: cue, routine, and reward. The cue triggers the behavior, the routine is the behavior itself, and the reward is the benefit you gain from doing the behavior, which reinforces the habit. 

In my exploration of habits, I came across an insightful article titled “The Science of Habit: How to Rewire Your Brain” from Healthline. 

Let’s end with some uplifting inspiration. On the Motivation Ark’s YouTube channel, I found, a Motivational Speech By James Clear 

CHALLENGE: Identify one habit that has the power to transform your life. Commit wholeheartedly to practicing it every day for the next 30 days, knowing that each small, consistent step rewires your mind and strengthens your foundation for growth. Remember, positive habits are the seeds of lasting change, and every repetition brings you closer to the best version of yourself.

I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are trying to achieve a balance between open-mindedness and firm beliefs as we navigate the middle ground. Staying true to your convictions is one position you can take but how does that stance affect the way you embrace new ideas and differing opinions?

Ever feel like you’re walking a mental tightrope, trying to keep an open mind while staying true to what you believe? It’s like trying to balance on a seesaw with a curious toddler on one end and a stubborn goat on the other—challenging, unpredictable, and sometimes a little funny in hindsight. In this episode, we’re exploring how to navigate the middle ground between welcoming new ideas and standing firm in your values. We’ll tackle the fear of being too easily swayed, the risks of being stuck in your ways, and that frustrating paralysis that comes from overthinking it all. Let’s dive in, find our balance, and discover how to approach life’s challenges with curiosity and confidence. 

Let’s make sure we all understand the definition of Open-Mindedness:

Feel risky? If so, you might have fear around:

I hear you—it’s exhausting trying to make sense of the conflicting messages we’re bombarded with daily. “Stand your ground!” but “Embrace diverse ideas.” “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything!” yet “You’re narrow-minded if you don’t change your mindset to fit everyone else’s.” Whoa, slow down! Where do we even start?

For me, it’s all about a multi-pronged approach. I pray, listen to my heart, try to see the bigger picture, and seek knowledge—always in that order. I trust myself, but let’s be real, I don’t know everything, and I can’t navigate life’s challenges alone. When I feel that pressure or tension to believe something or act a certain way, I take a step back and ask, “Why?” Why am I feeling this way? This simple pause keeps me from rushing into conclusions or making impulsive decisions.

Here’s the thing: I think many of us adopt an idea and fiercely protect it before we’ve really researched or tested it. It’s human nature to want to feel confident and certain, but what if we took a moment to explore, question, and truly understand? That’s where real balance and growth begin.

At Psychology Compass I found how you have to Contradict yourself to become more open-minded

On Forbes, Dr. Alice G. Walton offers 7 Science-Backed Methods To Get You Out Of Your Head

On The Table’s YouTube channel, I found Changing Your Mind: Virtue or Vice. 

So what happens when you find yourself in this overwhelming push/pull situation in your thinking? What causes it and how do we overcome it?

Fear of Making the “Wrong” Decision or Offending Others

The Issue:

How to Overcome It:

Being Stuck in Indecision Due to Conflicting Inner Voices

The Issue:

How to Overcome It:

Here are some more practical ways to break free:

1. Pause and Reflect Without Judgment

2. Set Boundaries: Know When to Listen and When to Step Away

3. Practice Mindful Decision-Making

CHALLENGE: Pause and reflect the next time you feel pulled in opposite directions—take a moment to tune into your heart, weigh your values, and explore new perspectives without judgment. Commit to standing firm in what matters most to you while staying open to growth, knowing that true balance is found in the space between.

I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are taking a deeper look at stress in an attempt to find our way back to peace. No matter what your level of stress is, everyone can benefit from a more peaceful existence because life can sometimes feel like an endless juggling act, and let’s be real—most of us are using bowling pins instead of tennis balls. Between the pressure to perform, the nagging feeling of not being good enough, and the constant stress of “adulting,” it’s no wonder so many of us are stuck in a cycle of burnout. But here’s the good news: there’s a way to hit the pause button, reclaim your peace, and rewrite the narrative playing in your head.

In this episode, we’re diving into how to manage stress, tackle the relentless inner critic, and embrace the idea that you’re not just “enough”—you’re extraordinary. We’ll explore why so many of us feel like we’re falling short, unpack the serious toll this mindset takes on our health, and share practical, empowering strategies to help you flip the script. Because let’s face it, you deserve to feel good about yourself—and that starts today. Ready? With peace being the ultimate destination, let’s chart a course offering valuable pitstops along the way.

Maybe you sometimes feel stress but not sure it’s all bad or that you suffer from too much stress. Maybe the word Peace conjures up tie-die an hemp necklaces instead of a tranquil existence. Let’s start with a few definitions to make sure we’re all on the same page:

Stress: a feeling of emotional strain and pressure that occurs when a person perceives an event as taxing or endangering their well-being. 

Peace: freedom from disturbance; tranquility.

Ok, simple enough? Hardly.

At Healthline, I found Why Americans Are More Stressed Today Than They Were in the 1990s

Kira M. Newman helps us understand What to Do When You Never Feel Good Enough found on Greater Good

On Therapy in a Nutshell’s YouTube channel, I found, Stress, Anxiety, and Worry

Self-regulation tools can be divided into quick fixes for immediate relief and long-term health practices for sustained well-being. 

Quick Fixes

These are tools you can use in the moment to calm stress or regain focus. While effective for immediate needs, they don’t address the underlying causes of dysregulation.

Deep Breathing

5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Short Walk or Movement Break

Journaling for 5 Minutes

Mindful Distraction

Long-Term Health Practices

These build resilience and create a foundation for improved self-regulation over time.

Mindfulness Meditation

Exercise Routine

Sleep Hygiene

Healthy Nutrition

Therapeutic Practices

Regular Gratitude Practice

Learning Emotional Regulation Skills

CHALLENGE:  Start small. Identify one stressor in your life and address it with a calming technique we discussed, like deep breathing or reframing your thoughts. Then, commit to taking one small step toward asking for support or setting a boundary—because your peace is worth protecting.

I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are going beyond the discovery and exploring what an ongoing life of gratitude, looks like. We all know the buzz about finding gratitude—it’s like the self-help world’s holy grail. But let’s be real, what’s the point of finding something amazing if you don’t know how to hold onto it? It’s like finding the perfect snack in the pantry and then eating it all in one go—gone too soon! Gratitude shouldn’t be a one-hit wonder; it’s meant to be the background music of your life, playing on repeat.

In this episode, we’re diving into what happens after you find gratitude. How can you turn those fleeting “thank goodness” moments into a sustainable practice? What does it do for your day-to-day mood and the bigger picture of your life? And, most importantly, how can you live in gratitude rather than treating it like a magic wand you wave when things get rough? 

Let’s explore how to make gratitude less of a to-do list item and more of a way of being—because a grateful heart isn’t just lighter, it’s stronger. Buckle up, this journey will leave you feeling uplifted and ready to embrace life’s magic, one thankful moment at a time!

So if I asked you, what is your gratitude practice, what would you say? Journaling, prayer, when someone reminds me, or only around the table one day of the year? Well, I might be all of the above. I do usually start a prayer with what I’m thankful for and I have been known to journal a gratitude list a time or two. I even have a group chat with some diligent members who prompt me to steer my morning in a thoughtful and thankful way. But how can we go from using gratitude as a quick fix to truly integrating it into their lives?

Sheldon Reid shares The Benefits of Gratitude and How to Practice It found in the Help Guide

John Bradley makes the connection between the transformative duo: Gratitude and Empathy: Cultivating Understanding and Compassion for Others. Found on Medium.

On Fearless Soul’s YouTube channel, I found Say "Thank You" - Motivation On The Importance Of Gratitude - what a nice and uplifting way to end.

Just like any good habit, gratitude requires intentionality and practice to turn it from a fleeting feeling into a lasting lifestyle. Here’s how you can build a gratitude practice that not only sticks but transforms the way you see the world:

One of the easiest ways to make gratitude sustainable is to attach it to something you already do. For example:

Gratitude is most powerful when it’s expressed, not just felt. Find ways to act on your gratitude:

Gratitude isn’t just for sunny days. It becomes truly transformative when applied during tough times. When faced with challenges:

Sometimes we need a little nudge to keep our gratitude practice on track. Set up reminders and cues in your environment:

Everything’s more fun (and sustainable) with a buddy! Share your gratitude goals with a friend or family member and check in with each other regularly. This could be as simple as exchanging texts about what you’re grateful for or meeting up to talk about the positive things happening in your lives.

CHALLENGE: Gratitude isn’t just something you find—it’s something you live, and the real magic happens when you let it ripple through your thoughts, choices, and connections. Challenge yourself to go beyond fleeting moments of thankfulness and create a practice that transforms your perspective, strengthens your relationships, and fuels your joy every single day!

I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are building, belonging, and blooming together as we explore and celebrate, the value of community. When you think of the word ‘community,’ what comes to mind? Is it a neighborhood, a friend group, or maybe something you long for but haven’t found yet? If the self-proclaimed “loner” still needs to feel connected and supported. People need people. The popular song sheds some valuable insight: We're children, needing other children and yet letting a grown-up pride hide all the need inside.

So let’s talk about community—the people who lift you up, laugh at your bad jokes, and sometimes even remind you to take down your trash. Community isn’t just a nice-to-have; it’s a life-changing, soul-nourishing, growth-accelerating gift. Whether it’s your ride-or-die crew, a group of neighbors, or a virtual squad cheering you on from afar, we all need a tribe. Don’t have one? No problem! You can start your own—it’s easier than you think and way more fun than going it alone.

In this episode, we’ll explore why community matters, how to spot a good one (or a bad one), and how finding your people can help you truly bloom. Because life’s too short to be lonely—let’s build something beautiful together!

Jenny Anderson shares some advice on The only metric of success that really matters is the one we ignore found on Quartz

At Conscious Mommy I found Building a Conscious Village:  Connection When You’re Feeling Lonely

On the Dare to Do YouTube channel, I found The Pencil's Tale - a story that everyone should hear

Ever got sucked into a toxic community? Detecting and avoiding a toxic community requires awareness of behaviors, patterns, and overall group dynamics. Here are some ways to identify and steer clear of toxic environments:

Signs of a Toxic Community

How to Avoid or Leave Toxic Communities

CHALLENGE: Step into the power of community by surrounding yourself with people who inspire, challenge, and uplift you—because the connections you nurture today will shape your happiness, health, and purpose tomorrow!

I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are exploring the power of influence, recognizing what shapes us, and taking back control. We have all been bombarded with messaging asking, begging, and sometimes coercing us to think, feel, and take action. Where do your own thoughts hide in the midst of such assaults? Influence as a pervasive force in our lives that can shape our choices, our mindset, and even our identity. It can feel like a current—sometimes it gently guides us, but other times it’s strong enough to sweep us off our feet. The key is in recognizing where influence is coming from and deciding how much power to give it. Let’s take a big breathe here and make a commitment to unpack, resort, and purge some influencing ideas that no longer serve us in a positive way. 

Influence is more than just peer pressure; it’s subtle and can come from various sources—family, friends, social media, society, our inner dialogue, and even our environment. 

• A close friend’s advice feels comforting but can sometimes lead you down their path instead of yours.

Tyler Jensen, a psychotherapist,  sheds some light on The Allure of Negativity: Why Our Brains Are Drawn to It

At Knowledge of Wharton, I found ‘Invisible Influence’: What Really Shapes Our Decisions, an interview with the author Jonah Berger

On Simon Sinek’s YouTube channel, as always, I found some wise words  on How to Stop Holding Yourself Back

1. Develop Media Literacy and Mindful Consumption

• Pause and Evaluate: Before you engage with media (whether it’s news, social media, or entertainment), take a moment to reflect on what you’re about to consume. Ask yourself why you’re choosing this source, and consider whether it aligns with your values or goals.

1. Limit Exposure to Influential Sources

• Set Boundaries: If you notice certain media or social media accounts lead to self-doubt, stress, or unhealthy comparison, consider unfollowing, muting, or setting a time limit on those platforms.

1. Strengthen Your Core Values

• Define Your Values: Reflect on what’s truly important to you, whether it’s integrity, creativity, kindness, learning, or independence. When you have a solid sense of your core values, it becomes easier to recognize when outside influence aligns or conflicts with them.

1. Practice Self-Questioning to Uncover Hidden Influence

• Ask Yourself Key Questions:
  • “Why do I want to do this?” This question can help you determine if a choice truly aligns with your desires or if it’s an idea you’ve absorbed from others.

1. Build Confidence in Your Own Voice

• Challenge Yourself to Act on Your Opinions: Start with small decisions where you rely solely on your own thoughts. For example, choose an outfit based on your preference, pick a book that genuinely interests you, or make weekend plans based on what would make you happiest.

1. Create a Supportive Inner Circle

• Surround Yourself with Encouragers: Choose friends, mentors, and family members who respect your individuality and encourage you to make decisions that feel true to you. A supportive circle will uplift and validate you, rather than pressuring you to conform.

1. Practice Self-Compassion and Flexibility

• Recognize that Influence is Natural: Understand that we’re all influenced by our environments. Self-compassion can prevent you from feeling guilty if you realize you’ve been swayed in a direction you didn’t want. Instead, view it as an opportunity to learn and readjust.

CHALLENGE: Remember, influence is a force we all experience, but it doesn’t have to control us. Recognize what’s guiding your path, decide what you want to allow in, and remember that you have the power to steer your own journey.

I Know YOU Can Do It!