Beloveds,

What happens when grief enters the room—and we’re still parenting, working, supporting others, being supported, trying to live?

In this tender episode of The Priestess is IN, I’m joined by my dear friend, fellow mother, and long-time Red Tent sister, Shira Gellman. Shira is a counselor and coach trained in the NARM model of healing trauma, and she’s recently been walking through the deep terrain of grief after the sudden death of her stepbrother.

We recorded this conversation as we approached Tisha B’Av—the day in the Jewish calendar that holds our communal grief, destruction, and longing. Together, we explore:

* How grief actually moves through us (hint: it’s not about “getting past it”)

* The importance of showing up with and for each other during times of mourning

* What it means to grieve as mothers with young children

* Making space for paradox: babies at Shiva, comfort in discomfort, joy beside sorrow

* Personal and spiritual rituals that anchor us—including a beautiful intergenerational protection prayer you can use right now

You’ll also hear reflections on Jewish mourning practices:

* Shiva (שבעה): The first seven days of mourning after burial, often observed in community with visits, prayer, and shared meals.

* Shloshim (שלושים): The 30-day period after burial, marking a shift from intense mourning toward return to everyday life.

* Minyan (מניין): A quorum of ten Jewish adults required for certain communal prayers, often gathered during Shiva to recite Kaddish, the mourner’s prayer.

And we zoom out to the wider grief in our world—collective loss, ancestral trauma, and what it means to stay present in a time of destruction—and how our traditions, our children, and each other can help us hold it all.

If you're grieving right now—someone you love, something precious that’s been lost, or the world as it is—I hope you feel held here. May you remember that your way of grieving is valid. And that comfort, joy, and love do return.

🕯️ Shabbat Nachamu—the Sabbath of Comfort—is coming.💗 Tu B’Av—the Day of Love—is coming.

And you are not alone.

For further resources on Jewish mourning and end-of-life support, I recommend The Shomer Collective—a beautiful, accessible hub of wisdom, care, and ritual grounded in Jewish tradition.

If you're tender with grief right now—personal, collective, ancestral—I've shared other posts that may offer comfort or companionship. Each includes both writing and audio, so you can read, listen, or do both:

🌀 Grief, Hope, How To — A channeled reflection on grief, rage, and what comes after.🌫️ Uncertainty — A raw, poetic piece about standing in the unknown and trusting your body to lead.

May these offerings meet you where you are.

With love and tenderness,Kohenet Annie

🎧 Listen to this episode wherever you get your podcasts or right here on Substack.💬 I’d love to know what this conversation opens for you—feel free to reply or leave a comment.

The Priestess is IN is a reader-supported space. All posts are free, and if you’ve found meaning, inspiration, or companionship here, consider becoming a paid subscriber. Your support helps me keep showing up and sharing.

What does it mean to live as your most self?

In this special episode of The Priestess Is IN, I’m interviewed by my colleague and fellow intuitive, Heather Drummond, about my one-on-one offering: Priestess Power Mentorship.

Heather generously held space for me to speak openly about where this work comes from, what it looks like, and how it supports people—across genders and spiritual backgrounds—to step into lives of greater authenticity, sovereignty, and soul-alignment.

In this episode, I share:

🌀 What it means to be a Kohenet, an ordained Hebrew Priestess, and how I’ve reclaimed Jewish spirituality through a feminist, queer-affirming, embodied lens.

🌀 Why authenticity is the gateway to true power—and how vulnerability is the other side of the same coin.

🌀 The kinds of clients I serve: folks who already know who they are deep down, but haven’t felt safe or supported to claim that identity out loud.

🌀 Why I believe in a choose ease approach—especially in a world that teaches us power must come through hustle, sacrifice, or burnout.

🌀 How I use tools like Human Design, divination, and channeled guidance to help my clients access their intuitive gifts and hear their own soul’s voice more clearly.

About Priestess Power Mentorship

This is a six-month 1:1 spiritual guidance container that starts with a simple question:

“What if you could live your life as your most whole, fully-expressed, divinely-connected self?”

We meet on Zoom, two to four times a month, for 90-minute sessions. Some clients work with me for six months and move on; others have stayed with me for four years or more. And for those curious but not quite ready for a full container, I offer one-off Transformation Sessions as a powerful entry point.

Whether we’re naming a truth you've never spoken out loud, softening internalized shame, or building personal rituals for your spiritual path, this mentorship is always client-led, intuitive, and rooted in deep care.

I’ve worked with psychics, therapists, writers, lawyers, teachers, parents, polyamorous folks, newly-out queer folks, and people at the edges of faith and tradition—all of them finding their way back to themselves.

A Client Once Said...

“I look forward to stepping into this container every time, because I know I can bring my full self—my questions, my magic, my mess—and I’ll be met with clarity, compassion, and truth.”

That’s what this space is for. ✨

Feeling the tug?

If you’re curious, ready, or even tentatively wondering if this kind of spiritual mentorship is for you, I’d love to meet you where you are.

🔮 Book a free Sacred Conversation with me here.You’ll find all the details—pricing, structure, what to expect—on that page.

Doors are open. And if I’m full, there’s a waitlist.

No pressure. Just an invitation.

With love from the liminal,💜 Annie

Happy new moon in Scorpio and Rosh Hodesh Mar Cheshvan! Yes, that’s right, I said “happy.” Even though many astrologers at this time are focusing on darkness and intensity, I see something a little different - a season of exhale, letting go, and stillness and an invitation into comfort and beauty through it all. This podcast episode is an offering from an earth-based perspective to soothe this seasonal shift for us all.

Please let me know how this lands for you. Do you like it? What does this turning feel like for you? What am I missing?

xo,

Annie

People whose work I mentioned:

Judith Manriquez

Jessa Walters

D’vorah Grenn

Kohenet Hebrew Priestess Institute

Some favourite card spreads to help get through this season:

Eht/Aht: Vessel, Offering, Ally from the Eht/Aht Netivot Wisdom Oracle deck by Kohenet Ketzirah Lesser of Devotaj Sacred Arts. (I use this with any deck (not just the Netivot Oracle). If a Tarot deck, I use Major Arcana and/or “face cards” from the Minor Arcana.)

@emeraldlotusmystic (on Instagram) New Moon in Scorpio:

Words of the chants from this podcast are below.

Rosh Hashanah begins in just a few hours!

This post is full of gifts and invitations for you. Whether you mark the Jewish New Year the Fall Equinox or just the opportunity to begin anew, these are for you.

Join me live, in person TOMORROW, Sept 26, for a Rosh Hashanah Unservice in Toronto:

Join me live, in person next Wednesday afternoon, Oct 5 for a Yom Kippur Unservice in Toronto:

WWLD stands for What would Lilith Do?

Come share your answer and ask your questions of me and the Lilith Institute’s Kohenet D’vorah Grenn LIVE on Zoom at 4PM EST on October 14 for our 50th episode of Tending Lilith’s Fire:

I am inspired to try this Apple and honey ritual from Kohenet Dori Midnight. Click the button below for more juicy details (there are mentions of demons and magic and making a mess. Yum!) Try it yourself. Let me know how it goes.

The tradition of eating apples dipped in honey for the Jewish new year is found in texts from the 13th century in Spain, & later in eastern Europe. Both apples and honey are potent substances in Jewish imagination, ancient text, folklore, magic, & healing practices.Apple as container for blessing, awakener, medicine, love spell. Apple as wisdom & temptation. Apple orchard as sacred site for sex, birth, and divine encounters. Apple orchard as one of the names for the divine in the Zohar…

For those of you who cannot make it live tomorrow, this podcast is a taste of the chants I have prepared. I offer them to you for your preparation for your own experience or to be your practice for the day or anyway you would like to use them. These words are meant to help you sing along to the chanting in the podcast.

The Priestess is IN is a reader-supported publication. This offering is a labour of love! It is available for free to all my subscribers. If you love this, please consider a paid subscription to support me to keep doing work like this.

Chants for Rosh Hashanah:

Moon Song

by Tamuz Shiran

Rock me like the tide,

Beshem Hashem/Angel Song

Hebrew from the Bedtime Shma, translation and melody by Kohenet Annie Matan

Beshem Hashem elohei yisrael

13 Attributes of the Divine

Adonai, Adonai, El Rachum v'Chanun, erech apayim, v'rav chesed, v'emet, notzer chesed la’alafim, nosei avon, v'peshah, v'chatah, v'nakay.

Open the Eyes of my Heart

by Paul Joseph Baloche

Open the eyes of my heart, God/dess

Feel You, Feel You

by Kohenet Annie Matan

I wanna feel you feel youI wanna feel you feel youI wanna feel you feel youDeep down in my soul

When my heart is full to burstingAnd sadness overwhelms meAnd the tears, they won’t stop flowingAnd the tears, they just keep flowingOh won’t you soothe me MotherOh won’t you soothe me FatherI want to feel you, feel youDeep down in my soul

I wanna feel you… deep down in my soul.

When I look into the facesOf beloveds and of strangersAnd all I see is the distanceThat keeps us at arm’s lengthOh won’t you show me MotherOh won’t you show me FatherOh won’t you show me, show meThe love that’s in our heartsI wanna feel you… right here in my heart.

When the earth is white with winterAnd I feel the cold right through meAnd I’m afraid that I will neverFeel your fire againOh won’t you warm me MotherOh won’t you warm me FatherI want to feel you, feel youDeep down in my bones

I wanna feel you… deep down in my bones.

When I open my eyesAnd I see your world around meAnd I’m astounded by the beautyAnd it takes my breath awayOh won’t you hold me MotherOh won’t you hold me FatherI want to know you, know youIn every minute of every day

I wanna feel you… in every minute of every day.

Oh Mama

by Kohenet Annie Matan

Oh Mama, show me,Oh Mama, show meOh Mama, show meWhat’s in my heart.

Oh Mama hold meLet your wings enfold meOh Mama hold meHold me up with love.

Avinu Malkateinu

Interpretation by Kohenet Batya Minsky Diamond

Avinu Malkeinu, Chaneinu V'aneinu, ki ein banu ma'asim

Where Were You?

Translation and melody by Kohenet Annie Matan

Job 38:4

This offering was originally published last year (2021), available only to paid subscribers. Now that I’ve shifted my subscription parameters so that content is available to everyone, and paid subscribers are opting in to support my work financially, I’m republishing this piece, making it available to all. If you’d like to change your subscription settings, either to opt in to a paid subscription to help fund my work or to opt out of paying, you are welcome to do so at https://anniematan.substack.com/subscribe?

Chag Sameach. Happy Shavuot. Joyous, love-filled revelation.

This email/post has two parts:

A channelled message about how revelation comes through (instead of to) us and an audio recording of chants and teachings to accompany the message. Before you press play on the audio, I encourage you to situate yourself somewhere quiet and comfy so you can be present with it. The volume of the audio rises and falls because of some background noise (I recorded in a park this morning) so listening with few distractions will help you get the full benefit of the messages.

I encourage you to sing along with the chants. You don’t need to sound pretty. Chanting opens our throat chakra, and opens us up as a conduit for our intuition and connection to source. The point is to allow the voice to engage in the practice, with as little self-consciousness as possible. Any time the words get in the way or trip on your tongue, feel free to switch to la la la or nai nai nai. The words themselves are less important than the engagement with the energy of the practice.

See the end of this post/email for the words to the chants, if that helps you to follow along. “show notes” can also be found at the end of this message.

Here is a message for you. Some Torah that came through me this week:

No longer with a mountain held over our heads. (Talmud Bavli Shabbat 88b)

No longer under external pressure.

Revelation through us.

To tell you the truth, it was always so.

But we thought the unique voice in our ear wasn’t, couldn’t possibly be our own.

How could we trust what we received in a moment of shock and awe?

We clamped down. Steeled ourselves against more loud noise. Against pieces of stone tablets hurled from on high. Against the possibility of the earth falling out from beneath our feet.

The flow of wisdom was stemmed.

Now we had a manual to follow.

                Just keep to these rules. Keep your feet on the line and you’ll be “good.” No mistake, no emotional outburst, no questions allowed. Be quiet. Be obedient. Be faithful. Or die.

But that is no longer our way.

We are remembering the voice of Chochmah (wisdom) inside of us. Of Bina (intuitive knowing) channelled from Source. Love in words and actions. No fearmongering required.

As above, so below. The wisdom received from above is a mirror of what we each hold inside of us, channel through us, bring into the world with our compassionate action.

Hear this:

God/dess danced the day you were born. (Andrew Lawrence) You were born for this. (Chani Nicholas) To be uniquely you. An integrated, mortal and divine being.

What revelation arises in us when we choose to be the vessel? When we claim all names of God/dess as our own names.

We are Shechina - the ones who are at home inside and among us; El Elyon - we are our highest selves; Adonai - we are each other’s overseers; El Shaddai - the great nurturers; Kadosh Baruch Hu - the holy ones; Malchut - the sovereigns; Borey - the creators; Oseh Shalom - the peacemakers; Yod-hey-vav-hey - the past, present and future.

Chants for opening to source and integrating all the parts of our humanity and divinity:

Osah Shalom | As above, so below

Osah shalom bimromeiha, hita’aseh shalom aleinu – May She Who Makes Peace shine peace upon us. – chant by Taya Ma Shere

Open the eyes of my heart God/dess, I want to see you.I want to see you high and lifted up.Shining in the light of your glory.You pour out your power and love as we sing holy, holy, holy. - Paul Joseph Baloche

When there is light in the soul, there is beauty in the person; When there is beauty in the person, there is harmony in the home; When there is harmony in the home, there is honour in the nation; When there is honour in the nation, there is peace in the world. - Chinese Proverb, melody by Sharon Durant (Check out Sweet Honey in the Rock, who cover this song.)

Sing through my heart, play through my hands, let the way be open. – Beautiful Chorus (Here is a link to Kenissa, the network of Jewish professionals convened by Sid Schwarz that I mentioned in the recording.)

Har sinai ASHaN kulo (The mountain is all (in smoke). ASHaN is an acronym for Olam (place), Shanah (time), Nefesh (person) – chant by Shir Yaakov

Hat tips:

* Rabbi Cherina Eisenberg and her work in Hot Pink Torah for teaching me about revelation from within us.

* Taren Rome for inspiring a fabulous conversation on Clubhouse about Bina as intuitive knowing and the value of leading from our intuition in Jewish spaces.

L’shem yichud kudshe brich hu u’shchinteh - For the sake of the unification of all of our parts, all we have to do is open to what was always with us. We are healing. We are remembering. We are creating the world of our dreams, just by being our whole selves. May we know that this is so.

xo,

Kohenet Annie Matan

Hi,

I got some feedback that these Tending Lilith’s Fire Episodes are easier to access via podcast than video so I am switching formats for this one to see how that goes. If you love watching us on screen, sign up for the Lilith Institute App, where you can watch our episodes and check out the archive of our (47!) past episodes on YouTube here.

This episode was an exploration of Lilith’s story and character. Who was she? Who were the others in her story (Eve, Adam, the other “demons”)? Who decides how her story is told? How do we want to tell it?

As in every conversation with Kohenet Devorah Grenn of the Lilith Institute, there was so much richness and lots of resources. (See below.)

Inspired, activated, or annoyed by this episode? We would love to hear from you!

Here are some questions to ponder and respond to, if you like:

* Who Lilith is to you?

* How are you like Lilith/Eve?

* What parts of her story do you most resonate with?

* Which parts do you want to distance yourself from?

* Were there any surprises?

* What did you love?

* What made you uncomfortable?

* What do you know that we completely missed?

Feel free to comment or reply and let me know if you would like your remarks referenced or responded to in a future episode.

Resources:

Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider

Lilith's Fire: Reclaiming our Sacred Life Force by Deborah Grenn-Scott

My Name is Lilith from Girl God Books

Lilian Broca, artist, Lilith Series

SheWhoIsArt.com

Rabbi Lynn Gottlieb

Lisbeth Cheever-Gessaman

Feminist Enterprise Commons

Sefaria.org

Stay tuned…

Since a fabulous Intuitive Energy Healing I experienced last year, with Anayza, I have had the phrase, “Welcome Queen, to your circle of Queens” ringing in my ears and integrating through my being. It’s inspired lots of learning and new understanding for me about the meaning of sovereignty. It’s been coming through in Red Tents and one-on-one Spiritual Guidance sessions as well as in my relationships.

I am so excited to share that I will be a guest on The Elizabeth Cunningham Show: Courageously Expanding Love! We are recording our episode about sovereignty in our relationships with ourselves, our partners, and communities on June 8 and it is likely to air on June 21. (Happy Solstice!)

About Me:

It’s been a while since I introduced myself and caught you all up on what I do. Here is a recently updated version of my bio:

Kohenet Annie Matan is an ordained Hebrew Priestess, with a thriving business that offers Spiritual Guidance, Super-Power Mentorship, and Facilitation of Life-cycle rituals and Sacred Spaces.

A Jewish, Queer, Polyam, single Mama, Annie is passionate about supporting people of all genders to feel seen, heard, and held as their whole selves in all spaces in their lives. 

Her customized weddings, baby welcomings, funerals and other life cycle transition rituals honour the realities of Interfaith, Queer and Polyam folks by weaving together their families’ and ancestral traditions with their authentic, contemporary values.

 In her recently launched Sex Goddess Spiritual Guidance and online Sex Goddess Red Tent circles, Annie offers coaching on Sex and our intimate relationships with our bodies, ourselves and our partners. You can follow her Sex Goddess inspirations and musings on Instagram.

If you like this offering, please help me spread the word!

Listen to some chants and a bit about this new Sacred Space offering!

You are invited to the Sex Goddess Red Tent:

Meets monthly online, Thursdays near the full moon, beginning April 21, 2022.

It’s a sacred, shame and judgement-free space to ask questions and share about our intimate relationships with ourselves, our partners and our bodies. Facilitated by me. A Queer, poly, formerly-married, single mama Priestess 💃🏻 and Spiritual Guide.

Spiritual Guidance, trauma-informed, highlighting systemic conditioning and oppression, celebrating our sexy, powerful, vibrant selves!

For women who want to say all “THOSE” things out loud, be held in the hard and revel in the pleasures.

Message me with questions! I hope to see you in the Red Tent!

I’m here, Mama.

What do you want of/from me?

Grief. Tears. Allowing.

Feel your feelings.

Joy comes with, after, before, around

grief.

“Those who sow in tears will reap in joy.” (psalms 126:5)

Tears aren’t always wrought from personal pain.

It doesn’t have to be your own hurt.

Allow empathy.

Soften your heart to the pain of others.

Move for them.

Grieve for and as a member of the collective.

When others are hurting

and have to survive without room for fear or grief,

the collective can feel for and with them.

You were told “it’s not your pain. How dare you feel it or express it.”

But that’s a lie.

It’s all OUR pain.

When we run from it,

hide from it,

distance ourselves from it,

it grows

and it will find us all.

But

when we own it,

feel it,

allow it,

seek to be with it,

heal it,

it heals in, with, through, for us all.

So feel your feelings

with full permission

unabashedly.

Today, it may be grief, outrage, rage, pain, despair, hopelessness, fear

or

it may be joy, triumph, relief, gratitude, solace, hope

It’s all welcome. All needed.

We cannot have some without all.

Do not be afraid to feel.

Let there be no guilt or shame

in empathy

in loss

in celebration.

Feeling it all

holds balance for all

gives permission for all

makes space for all.

We are Divine.

Nothing is denied to us.

To live in a body

is to hold a paradox

is every living moment

life and death are equally real

equally magical

the how is a matter of free will

in kindness or cruelty

presence or numbness

Breathe

be with what is

what is will shift

and become what was

the ebb and flow is constant

when you feel stuck/trapped/resistant

return to what is

and allow with to be with and through you

completely.

I promise, in its fullness

shift comes.

None of it lasts forever.

That is a gift.

There is hope in there.

There is truth.

There is always this moment

and then the next.

Even if you stop, the next moment will come.

Allow it.

Breath by breath.

Allow it all.

You want to hold back

to avoid moving towards fear

believing what comes is unbearable.

But you’ve borne every moment so far

and you/we will bear them all

each in our right time.

Beat them

witness them

embody them

be transformed in and by them.

and still more come.

So breathe, allow, feel it all.

This channelled message was originally only made available to paid subscribers but on reflection I have decided that paywalls aren’t in alignment for me so I am re-releasing it for everyone. If you would like to support my work and its accessibility to all, please consider a paid subscription to The Priestess is IN for yourself or as a gift to someone else.

January 17, 2022

Saved Her in Our Cells

Channelled Message through Kohenet Annie Matan

Oh Mama, You're here.

Inside me and around me,

teaching and reminding me

to mother myself

with kindness first.

Gods! Too many generations of pain,

layers and layers

of hurt,

of not enough

of striving,

barely surviving,

being pulled away from You

from truth

by force.

Again and again,

until we were left

in listless, hopeless heaps

of pain and loss,

Dor l’dor,

generation to generation.

We were feasting on scraps,

and believing

that was all there was

and would ever be

for us,

for all.

We gobbled the lie

that we were unloved

because those crusts

were all we could get our hands on.

We fought over

Nothingness

until our bellies heaved

exhausted,

and our grief, compounded,

wore away our bodies

until we were naught but

skin stretched over brittle bones.

And there we felt

only Your absence.

And now,

after centuries of starvation,

You hold out

cups of steaming broth,

made from the marrow of Divinity

of our ancestors bones.

You say, “Drink.

their starvation and suffering

will not be in vain.

They saved the best for you.”

But…

it hurts sometimes to take You/Them in.

I want to take big, greedy gulps

but that leaves me queasy.

And one small sip at a time

feels cruelly slow.

Sip.

Rest.

Sip, (so much effort to clasp the earthen vessel and hold it shaking to my parched lips to slurp hot, liquid Goddess, swallow past the lump of despair, fall back against Your pillowy breast and breathe, catch my shuddering breath.)

You remind me to take all my time.

The elixir in the cup stays warm.

Always ready.

So I lean back

and let my body surrender

to softness.

One breath, limb, heartbeat, bone

by one.

Just hold me Mama.

In this truth of You

that somehow,

some dormant cells in me never forgot.

You've been secreted away

deep in my DNA

and are unfurling again inside me.

I did it. I held on.

I saved myself/You.

I died. Over and over.

I lied to protect what I prayed was true.

In each death, I cried with relief

when I returned to You.

And each time, You nurtured and nourished me

and set my soul back on its path.

Born again and again

to find You and hold on, somehow

despite it all

every time.

I am so tired.

Resting, alive in Your embrace,

my heartbeat,

the flesh on my unbroken body

tells me

this time is different.

I'm alive

and You are with me.

I am awake.

And You are real.

I've carried You inside me

from generation to generation.

We have.

For this lifetime, (please Goddess!)

is Your time, our time.

Your children rise with You.

We dance with Your light and Your shadow.

We sing Your songs.

We find You in each other.

Life, life, life.

We lift each other up,

restore, nurture and tend each other

healing wounds of forgetting

once and for all.

Our hands are Your hands.

Our feet are Your feet.

Our voices, Your voice.

Our foes are You.

We remember. We honor. We live.

I rest now.

Surrender to healing,

nestle into You

and feed slowly on the medicine of

my Becoming.

I am not afraid.

I am here against all odds.

You are with me.

I am alive. And I am here.

That is enough.

Hi,

I am swimming in Scorpio season, stinging interactions, emotional upheaval and so. much. yearning. I am sharing this latest episode of Tending Lilith’s Fire with you because 3 days later, I am still resounding with it. Like a bell or singing bowl that just keeps vibrating. This episode is a conversation about The Veil - what is it? How do we get past it? It’s about our relationship with ourselves, each other and the Divine/Sacred.

This season invites us to name our desires and be wanty. Want what we want. Name it all. Plant the seeds of our intentions (we’re still in the week of the new moon, after all) and tend those seeds with love and longing.

I hope you enjoy this episode, whether you listen here, on your favourite podcast app or watch the video on YouTube (where you’ll find all the resources in the video description.) And if you’d like to hear a little more of that Open The Eyes of My Heart gospel, tune into this extra video I just made on Instagram, which also includes some expansions on the themes.

And if you are swimming, too and would like a reading to support you across the threshold of your desires, book a Transformation Reading at 50% off before the end of November.

Here are the lyrics to Open the Eyes of My Heart Prayer I sang:

Open the eyes of my heart, GodOpen the eyes of my heartI want to see You,I want to see YouHigh and lifted upShining in the light of Your gloryPour out Your power and loveAs we sing, [Holy, holy, holy (x 6)]-Paul Joseph Baloche

If these messages resonate with you and you know others who would love them too, it would mean so much to me if you could share and invite your people.

Wishing us all a supported, seen and revelation-filled Scorpio season.

xo,

Annie