There are two sides to every conversation, and both are essential to the art of communication.

Related: 4 Powerful Questions to Help You Refocus Your Goals

So, how are your conversation skills? Think about it: Are you a smooth talker, or do you ramble? Are you an attentive listener, or do you tend to interrupt?

Here’s how to master the art of conversation—both sides of it:

When it’s your turn to talk…

1. Get your thinking straight.

The most common source of confusing messages is muddled thinking. We have an idea we haven’t thought through. Or we have so much we want to say that we can’t possibly say it. Or we have an opinion that is so strong we can’t keep it in. As a result, we are ill-prepared when we speak, and we confuse everyone. The first rule of plain talk, then, is to think before you say anything. Organize your thoughts.

2. Say what you mean.

Say exactly what you mean.

3. Get to the point.

Effective communicators don’t beat around the bush. If you want something, ask for it. If you want someone to do something, say exactly what you want done.

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“Don’t ask what the world needs; ask what makes you come alive and go do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.” —Howard Thurman



Passion is a funny thing. It keeps you up at night and sparks something deep inside you. It inspires you to try and change the world, or at least make your little corner a bit better.

Your frustrations often reveal your passions. So many people say it would be great if they could just quit their day job and pursue their passion full time, to start a business or write a book or launch a blog. But that’s all it is, talk. To those people, I say: Stop talking about it and do something. Turn your passion into your profession.

Here’s how.

1. Start.

Without getting too much into the psychology of the self-defeating fixed mindset, there is only one way to break this type of thinking: Shut up and act.

Do something. Read the top 10 books about the subject. Personally interview a minimum of five people who are already in that industry. Buy the domain name. Write the blog. Put your money (time and energy) where your mouth is. You do not have to quit your day job. In fact you should not quit until your side project generates enough income for you to do so.

The bottom line is that you must act if you want to change. You have to choose to do something different. You have to move. Action frees you from the broken cycle of daydreaming about what you want to do.

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We’re living in the golden age of technology. We’re hyper-connected to what everyone else is doing, in addition to facing the normal pressures that society, family, peers and life place on us. With all these factors in the back of our heads, it’s easy to lose track of our own identity.

If you’re not mindful of what and why you’re doing something, then you could end up somewhere far away from where you wanted to be.

This was me when I was living in in the Philippines. I was on the path of being a Registered Nurse, but in the middle of being an RN, I felt something was missing. I realized that I was following a script for what I thought I was supposed to do, not what was fulfilling me.

With this realization, I ditched my profession to combine my two passions: Music and Photography/Film Making. Many can say, “You should’ve done this from the start,” but forging your own path and following your passion is a lot easier said than done.

I couldn’t have done this any sooner because I never took the time to ask myself the right questions.

The quality of your questions triggers their own set of answers. This leads to specific emotions and actions (or inactions on certain things), which become your results. If your questions are limiting, then your results are going to be limiting, too.

Becoming the best version of yourself begins with self-reflection and asking these four powerful questions to get refocused on the path to personal growth.

Continue reading at https://www.mileslacoste.com/4-powerful-questions-help-refocus-goals/

1. Give back.

There is an astute knowingness in understanding that we all have a limited perspective or lens. I have one, you have one and everyone who walks this earth has a limited perspective. And for a great many years, we as a collective have convinced ourselves that our differences are a hindrance, when in reality our differences are the very thing that makes each of us uniquely talented in ways other people are not. When we honor these differences and celebrate them for their uniqueness, we open up an entirely new kaleidoscope of possibilities we might not otherwise be able to see.

If everyone asked, “How can I help?” as opposed to “What can I get?” we would start to see a much different world take shape around us.

The universe aligns its bounty for a generous heart. We must take that first step toward serving the greater good. This is the greatest act of service we can offer. When we elevate one, we elevate all, and soon all of our common interests are met. Only then can we begin to transform the world. It is only then the better world we dream of becomes a reality.

It’s up to us to offer a helping hand to those struggling to climb the ladder. We stand on each other’s shoulders to elevate us to our ultimate accomplishments. This is a testament to a new tomorrow. We must clasp each other’s hands and take that first step together. It’s a step that every person, organization or institution can take together—if only we change our lens from competition to cooperation. From receiving to giving.

2. Surround yourself with people smarter than you.

Regardless of all your hard work, unique talent, good timing or good luck, success is largely a factor of the people you make a part of your journey.

When you first start, you pursue like-minded people in your social circle. But things change. You mature. Your circle widens as your interests shift from social to professional. Although you are initially drawn to people like yourself, now you start to gravitate to people who can offer alternative perspectives—the more unrelated and diverse the individuals, the more opportunity to fill in the gaps of your limited experience, which lowers your risk.

You must network, pay attention and seek out people who not only know more but are willing to challenge and push you. Because few things are as important as gaining new perspectives. It’s easy to get lost in your ideas. Alternate perspectives can eliminate the blind spots and bring you down from the clouds.

3. Find a mentor.

Mentorship is a service. How can you help this person? You need to care more about their goals than you care about your own. Actually, your number one goal is to help them with their goals.

Under promise and over perform. When you get an assignment, blow them away. Do more than expected. Make their life as easy as possible. Get them excited to work with you more.

Never stop seeking help from those who are where you want to be. At the same time, don’t neglect those who could use your help.

Never let a goal become more important than helping people. Help others generously, abundantly. Help others without expectation of a return favor. Serving others will turn you into a mentor yourself. And you will always find more joy in helping others succeed than in achieving your own success.

4. Be an influencer.

Influencers focus on helping one another without expecting anything in return. They give and balance with their own self-interests to make giving a win-win for all parties. Adam Grant, author of the best-selling book Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Your Success, told me that “givers are not just philanthropists or volunteers… but people who enjoy helping others and often do it with no strings attached.” Grant explains that givers have the greatest opportunity to both succeed and fail in business because...