The silly season is almost upon us...where did 2018 go?! If you're feeling a little overwhelmed and in flux by this time of year, you're not alone. In this episode we look at how the general rush of modern life can sometimes add up to leave us feeling a little unsettled or TOPSY-TURVY. Sal has been settling into her different career path and relocating back to Melbourne. Lou has been in a work frenzy launching a new TV show, whilst navigating through the emotionally charged process of egg freezing. Is being a bit topsy-turvy such a bad thing after all; how can we better ride the flux instead of fighting it so much?

Emotional contagion is being increasingly recognised as a thing - https://www.medicaldaily.com/monkey-see-monkey-do-emotions-are-contagious-because-mirror-neurons-brain-318692

The power of humour at work - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-40415555

Why we look for order and patterns in the chaos of life - https://www.thecut.com/2017/01/kahneman-biases-act-like-optical-illusions.html

Are your unspoken expectations making you miserable? It can be a fine line between balancing optimism with realism at times. Lou and Sal have an uncomfortable inkling they may sometimes project extraordinary expectations onto people, places and things, leading to some pretty major disappointments. Shakespeare said 'Expectation is the root of all misery' . Brené Brown posits that 'Expectations are resentments waiting to happen' and Alain de Botton urges us to better 'Budget for the difficulties of life'. How can we strive for our goals whilst also checking our expectations? Lou practices trying to better accept people for who they are and Sal realises that the grass is definitely not greener (but it can be a different shade of green if you give it a go).

https://www.amazon.com/Rising-Strong-Ability-Transforms-Parent/dp/081298580X

http://alaindebotton.com/philosophy/

'I've been dating since I was 15, I'm exhausted. Where is he?' - was the quintessential Charlotte York-ism (courtesy of 'Sex and the City')...Lou and Sal just might be wondering the same thing! However at the same time they really are rather fond of cosy nights in. Grappling with the ups and downs of the dating app world is one thing, being dumped on a Monday morning via text is quite another. The girls explore their approaches to dating generally (spoiler alert: Sal's is much more analytically rigorous than Lou's) and also how to manage big break ups...the million dollar question is: can you ever stay friends with an ex?

Handy show references (which are mainly to do with piano bars, which is where Sal strongly believes all dates should lead):

Murmur Piano Bar in Melbourne - https://murmur.com.au/

The Piano Group in Melbourne - http://www.thepianogroup.com/

We'll see you there! xx

Following on from their foray into the murky world of perfectionism, Lou and Sal delve a bit deeper to uncover that whiny, negative, mean spirited, narky voice that sometimes crops up out of nowhere. You know, the one that tells you that you can't do things, or that you're just not good enough. Often you believe it without even questioning. Turns out Lou's is called Margo (yes, that's Margo Spargo). Sal hasn't named hers yet but she has had several battles in the muddy trenches with it recently.

Links to content discussed include:

Seeing Allred - documentary on Gloria Allred, famous women's activist - https://www.netflix.com/au/title/80174367

Embrace - documentary exploring the problem with our fixation on body image - https://bodyimagemovement.com/embrace-the-documentary/

And in glaring contrast...the chocolate cake the girls were noshing on for breakfast - https://www.nigella.com/recipes/old-fashioned-chocolate-cake

How does trying to be perfect stop us from progressing our goals? It's so easy to let fear take the wheel and put off ever actually taking action.

Sal and Lou find that there’s a lot more to launching a podcast than they may have realised....for example, what's a bloody RSS feed? As they start to procrastinate around branding and photo shoots - they realise how paralysing perfectionism can be!

The wild and wonderful Elizabeth Gilbert says you have to acknowledge fear will always be there, but it shouldn’t EVER be allowed to drive (or even choose the radio station), she captures the sentiment well here: https://vimeo.com/169750602

Lou also takes things into her own hands in publicising Sal’s writing, which you can find here: https://beconnectingthedots.blog/ - naturally this involves an awkward communication mishap in the process...

Ultimately, both take some comfort in the fact they're out fighting in the "arena" rather than just banging on about all the things they'd like to do!

Lou and Sal could get Olympic medals for talking...but when they feel hurt by a friend; need to talk about sex with a boyfriend; or it comes time to discuss salary at work...suddenly they’re lost for words. The problem with this is that what isn't said gets repressed and then impacts how they feel in their relationships.

Sal has been practicing difficult conversations at work for a few years (by necessity!) but finds them abominably awkward in her personal life. Why is it so hard to say what you feel and what you want? She generally just wants to do a runner instead! Lou finds a song (of course!) by ‘Growing up Gracefully’ that captures the essence of the gender pay gap continued fallout.

"I’m sooooo busy" is the modern catch cry we may as well have tattooed across our foreheads. But this month we’re wondering: if it’s not so much TIME but energy that is the real blocker to hitting our goals in life? How do we leak our energy over the day without even realising it?

Listen for some practical (read: actually a shot at achieving) tips to reclaim your time, power and energy from Lou and Sal who have both been guilty of expending too much energy on the wrong things, only to crash and burn when it comes time to progress the goals they say are most important to them...sound familiar?

Lou tracks her phone usage on the ‘Moment’ app, with some sobering (though not entirely unexpected) results. Sal takes to the 90 minute productivity cycle concept like a duck to water, sourced from her spirit animal Tony Schwartz of 'The Energy Project' and his seminal musings in "Relax, you’ll be more productive", The New Yorker, February 9 2013.

Chances are you know your company’s values...at least in theory! But how many of us are clear on our personal values? And even if we have a vague idea, are we actually living them?

Sal’s quit her job recently and is looking for some greater meaning and connection in her future work. Lou has struggled to balance her more creative impulses with everyday working life in recent years. Basically they’re both searching for greater clarity and direction to actually reach their goals….a little less conversation a little more action please!

Lou heads to Google to check out the endless options when it comes to values and uses it to test what resonates for her. Sal reflects on her ‘grateful’ lists from the past year to see what keeps coming up as most meaningful for her. Both realise that they’re some way off actually living their values and it’s going to take greater focus, everyday practice and a good measure of humour to keep them on track!