Running an internet search today is a lot like being in one of those old VHS video rental stores. “Be kind and rewind” is the title of almost every article, every news report, every youtube video is nothing but odd praises and mythos of kindness. “Kindness 101: What Is Kindness and How Do You Teach It?” by inspirekindness.com Sure sounds nice, but why do we have to teach kindness? Why does it need to be inspired? Because people are mean, that’s why. You have to teach kindness because, if you don’t, everyone will just go around being nasty to each other all the time. But, if your lessons were working at least a little bit, would you have to write so many damn articles about being kind? Would you have to give classes on kindness to beat it into people’s heads? “The Importance of Kindness” by Psychology Today. Would you look at that? You need a psychologist to tell you to be kind. So do psychopaths. “The Importance Of Kindness” by myfoothold.org Brilliant, that will do it. Tell everyone how important kindness is and there you go, instant paradise on earth! Just like that, no more problems, instant bliss, as long as you work hard enough. Then, when it does not happen, when the world is just as mean as it always has been, all internet gurus need to do is run a quick Google search, direct you to their article and say, “see, I told you so.” But can you really learn to be kind? Can you really teach someone who has no interest in helping other people that helping others is good? And, if you do, how do you go about it? America, like much of the Western world, is based on a rather clumsy, poorly thought out, system of rewards and punishments. If you do well on the test you get a free pizza. If you do well at your job you get to keep making money. If you are a good enough fighter, perhaps a boxing career is in the works, as long as you are good enough that is. But if you are not good enough, if you fail, even in the slightest, the punishments are unleashed. No pizza for you if you fail that test. You have to study now. We punish learners by forcing them to read. Reading is a punishment in our education system. If you do not produce adequately at work, perhaps your hours will be cut or perhaps you will be sacked all together. We improve our workers by communicating to them that they are useless and not worthy of our trust, not worthy of one simple mistake. Uh-oh, you did not make weight this month so no more boxing career for you. So the boxer goes off and jumps from miserable job to miserable job. We punish our fighters with unbearable torture. So what of kindness? Well, the reward is supposedly feeling good about yourself; you get to feel good about yourself for being kind. If you’re not kind enough, then no one will be kind to you. Feeling good about yourself is the reward. But shouldn’t you always feel good about yourself? Isn’t that just a basic way of getting through the day? We ignore those who are unkind. But does that make them kind to us? I think not, otherwise there would not be so many articles littered all over the internet on the benefits of kindness. Realize this and you will be free of all this: kindness and decency are one and the same. Do not help others for rewards; do not try to reap benefits from basic decency. Do not try to be kind to others. Life is not performance art. You are not trying to impress the audience here. There is no camera rolling. You help others because that is how the human race has survived, not because you will get a cookie for it later. Do you want to survive? Do you want to live? Then be kind. There is no need to romanticize such an important part of our evolutionary biology. Kindness, otherwise known as human decency, saves lives and it could save your life as well. Do not feed someone to teach them a lesson. Feed someone because they need food and they could die a violent death if you don't. Be practical about your charity. Do not give expecting things in return. That is all you need.