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Do you find yourself mentally tallying who did which chores this week? Or maybe you've stayed up until 2 AM arguing about something that seemed so important but now feels trivial in the morning light? These relationship patterns might stem from popular marriage myths that sound reasonable but actually undermine connection.

In this enlightening episode, I'm joined by my husband Dr. Jeff as we dismantle three dangerous marriage myths that create disconnection. We tackle the deceptive "50-50 rule" that turns relationships into mathematical equations rather than partnerships. You'll learn why keeping score leads to resentment and how generosity creates a cycle of mutual care that math can never calculate.

We also explore why "never go to bed angry" might be the worst advice ever given at bridal showers. Sleep deprivation amplifies emotions and impairs judgment, making midnight arguments particularly destructive. Instead, we offer practical language for pressing pause without abandoning the issue altogether.

Finally, we challenge the Instagram-perfect image of conflict-free marriages. Like a fireplace that warms the home but requires tending, conflict can strengthen your relationship when approached with curiosity and compassion. The complete absence of disagreement often signals that someone's voice isn't being heard.

Whether you're newly partnered or celebrating decades together, you'll gain practical tools to replace these myths with healthier relationship patterns. Our weekly challenge gives you three specific actions to implement immediately: trading 50-50 for 100-100, learning when to pause instead of push, and practicing small repairs that build trust.

Ready to transform your relationship? Subscribe, share with someone you love, and join us next time for the final installment in our marriage myths series!

Exciting news! Our podcast is getting a fresh new facelift—including a brand-new logo! ✨ After we wrap up Part 3 of our Marriage Myths series, we’ll be taking a short 2–3 week break to relaunch with a whole new look and feel.

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Ever been told "never go to bed angry" or that "your spouse should just know what you need without asking"? These well-meaning pieces of relationship advice might actually be sabotaging your marriage.

In this eye-opening conversation with licensed marriage and family therapist Tony Overbay, we dive deep into the marriage myths that have been passed down like sacred wisdom but often do more harm than good. With humor and practical insight, we examine why these beliefs persist and how they shape our expectations in ways that can lead to frustration and disappointment.

We start by tackling the mind-reading fantasy—the belief that true love means anticipating your partner's needs without communication. Tony reveals why this childhood adaptation becomes maladaptive in adult relationships and offers a refreshing alternative: embracing the joy of explicitly sharing your needs and desires.

The myth that "marriage solves all problems" gets thoroughly debunked as we explore how marriage actually tends to magnify existing issues rather than erase them. As Trisha puts it, "Marriage doesn't fix the problems, but it gives you a partner to face them with."

Perhaps most powerful is our discussion about boundaries—why they're essential guardrails for healthy relationships rather than obstacles to intimacy. We distinguish between boundaries and walls, explaining how properly communicated boundaries actually create the safety needed for deep connection.

Can people really change? The final myth we tackle challenges the fatalistic view that people are permanently fixed in their ways. Drawing on neuroscience and therapeutic experience, we offer hope for genuine transformation while acknowledging the reality that change must be intrinsically motivated.

Whether you're newly married, considering marriage, or decades into your relationship, this conversation will help you identify the unhelpful relationship myths you've unconsciously adopted and replace them with healthier, more realistic alternatives. Your relationship doesn't need a perfect script—it needs honesty, intention, and a good dose of humor.

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Why does love sometimes feel like both a lifeline and a threat? The answer lies in our attachment styles—powerful patterns formed in childhood that shape our adult relationships in profound ways.

When Scott wrote to us about his marriage to Claire, he described a painfully familiar dynamic: clinging desperately one moment and shutting down completely the next, while his steady partner tried to understand what was happening. His story opens a fascinating window into disorganized attachment (what we call "the cat in a tree") and how it clashes with secure attachment (the "oak tree").

Your nervous system might be sending mixed signals about connection based on early experiences, but there's tremendous hope for change. We unpack practical tools like creating a "safe pause" during conflicts, naming your feelings in real-time, and programming your communication to avoid overwhelming yourself or your partner. These micro-skills create new neural pathways, gradually rewiring your response to emotional intimacy.

Dr. Jeff shares personal insights about communication strategies that have transformed his own relationships, while I introduce my new Attachment Map tool—a visual guide to help you identify your attachment style and take meaningful steps toward security. Whether you're an oak tree, octopus, turtle, or cat in a tree, understanding these patterns is the first step toward healing.

Your emotional suitcase might be packed with fear and confusion, but it can be repacked with safety, connection, and repair. Email [email protected] to receive your free copy of the Attachment Map and begin your journey toward more secure connection today.

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Imagine carrying an invisible suitcase into every relationship—one packed with your earliest lessons about love, safety, and connection. In this revealing episode of The Q&A Files, host Trisha Jamison teams up with Dr. Jeff Jamison and therapist Tony Overbay to crack open that suitcase and examine what's inside.

Through vivid metaphors and relatable stories, we explore the four attachment styles that shape our relationships: the grounded oak tree (secure), the clingy octopus (anxious), the withdrawing turtle (avoidant), and the conflicted cat in a tree (disorganized). These aren't just psychological categories—they're your nervous system's blueprint for how you give and receive love.

The conversation takes fascinating turns as Tony describes the "anxious-avoidant loop" that traps many couples in painful cycles, while Dr. Jeff offers compassionate insights about why we gravitate toward familiar patterns even when they hurt. You'll discover how early experiences with caregivers created an internal working model that guides your adult relationships, often operating below conscious awareness.

Whether you're overthinking every text message, shutting down during conflicts, or puzzled by your partner's reactions, this episode offers clarity and hope. The panel shares how attachment patterns can shift with awareness and intention, emphasizing that understanding your style isn't about blame but about creating new possibilities for connection.

Ready to recognize your attachment style and transform your relationships? Listen now, and be sure to tune in next week for part two, featuring practical steps toward secure attachment and the introduction of Trisha's new Attachment Map tool.

Questions? Email us at [email protected]

Get ready! We have big announcements soon! 

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Have you ever witnessed an act of kindness so profound it changed the entire atmosphere? Those moments when someone steps forward while everyone else steps back?

Today's story takes us from a simple pharmacy encounter to a harrowing flight in 1991 where I found myself living every parent's travel nightmare. Picture this: two small children, a car seat disaster mid-boarding, and a plane full of judging eyes. Just when I thought I'd crumble under the weight of it all, something extraordinary happened – a stranger stood up and shifted everything.

This isn't just about airplane etiquette or parenting struggles. It's about those pivotal moments when kindness doesn't wait for an invitation but shows up precisely when someone is unraveling. The kind man who carried my baby during boarding. The courageous passenger who called out the judgment of others. These weren't random acts – they were deliberate choices to see beyond themselves.

What strikes me most, even decades later, is how the man who helped was already caring for a quadriplegic seatmate. He wasn't someone with abundant free time or resources – he simply made space in his heart for one more person in need. His words, "What is wrong with you people?" weren't just directed at my fellow passengers; they echo as a challenge to all of us. Will we be the crowd that watches, or the one who stands?

As you move through your week, I challenge you to look for opportunities to be that shift. Who around you might be carrying more than they're showing? The mom in your neighborhood? The teenager behind the counter? Your friend who always says they're "fine" but might not be? Kindness doesn't require grand gestures – sometimes it's as simple as saying "You're doing a good job" or "Can I help?" These moments of interrupting kindness don't just heal others; they heal something in us too.

Send this episode to someone who needs to hear it, leave a review, and most importantly, live it. Keep letting your kindness move the atmosphere. The world doesn't need more spectators – it needs more people willing to stand.

Contact me directly if you have  questions or comments at [email protected].

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Grief doesn't ask for permission—it arrives unannounced, even for those who make their living guiding others through emotional landscapes.

Tony Overbay, a therapist who typically sits across from clients helping them process pain, recently found himself on the other side of the couch after losing his mother. In this raw, tender conversation, Tony shares what that journey looked like not just as a professional, but as a son navigating the complicated emotions of watching his mother's final days.

What happens when the helper becomes the griever? When the person who usually has the answers finds themselves sitting in the unknown? Tony walks us through those four days at his mother's bedside—the unexpected humor that emerged, the spiritual experiences he hoped for but didn't receive, and the beautiful moments watching his father's tenderness after 58 years of marriage.

Perhaps most profound is Tony's revelation about how his professional training both helped and hindered his grief process. While his background in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy allowed him to recognize unhelpful thought patterns, he still found himself wanting the mystical experiences he'd heard clients describe. His story reminds us that professional knowledge doesn't create immunity from pain—it simply offers different tools for the journey.

For anyone supporting someone through grief, Tony offers refreshing alternatives to the standard "I'm sorry for your loss." Instead, he suggests asking open questions like "What has this been like?" or "Tell me a story about them"—invitations that create space for authentic sharing rather than prescribed expressions of condolence.

Whether you're navigating your own season of loss or walking alongside someone who is, this episode offers a powerful reminder that grief is not a sign we're broken, but evidence we've loved deeply. Subscribe now and join our community exploring the full spectrum of human experience—from heartbreak to healing and everything in between.

Questions? Email us at [email protected]

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Let's take a moment and reflect on some of the questions we explored today. If you are listening and something is stirring within you, consider journaling through these ideas:

1. What is something I say I want, but keep avoiding, delaying or abandoning?

2. What emotion comes up when I think about following through with it?

3. What belief might be hiding underneath that resistance?

What would if fee like to approach myself with compassion instead of criticism?

Intrigued? Want to know more? email us at [email protected]. We would love to hear you! And who knows, your question might be featured in our next podcast!

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Ever stood in your kitchen staring at your perfectly planned health routine taped to the fridge, feeling that familiar wave of resistance rise up inside you? You know exactly what to do—you could write the book on it—yet somehow, by week three, you're right back in the loop of self-sabotage rather than follow-through. Master coach Misty Springer reveals why this happens and how to break free from this frustrating cycle.

What we call "self-sabotage" is actually a form of self-protection—an invisible brick wall your body creates when change feels unsafe. Through powerful stories and practical insights, Misty explains why affirmations alone don't work, how to identify the limiting beliefs holding you back, and why creating safety in your nervous system must come before mindset shifts.

You'll discover the critical difference between your "first voice" (intuition) and "second voice" (fear), plus learn how to tap into your body's wisdom instead of endlessly searching for answers outside yourself. Misty shares her journey of building a meaningful business while raising a family, revealing how you can have both without sacrificing either.

This conversation goes beyond quick fixes to address the real reason you struggle to follow through on what matters most. The solution isn't more willpower—it's alignment between your mind, body, and heart. Whether you're trying to improve your health, grow your business, or simply break free from start-stop cycles, this episode offers a compassionate new lens through which to view your challenges.

Ready to transform self-sabotage into self-trust? Listen now, and be sure to subscribe for part two next week, where Misty will share a simple breathwork practice to help you reconnect with your truth and shift out of the exhausting push-and-perform cycle.

Connect with Misty at: www.mistyspringer.com

She is Known Retreat: https://lakeandsky.my.canva.site/sheisknownretreat1

Connect with Trisha: [email protected]

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Feeling stuck in the same relationship arguments? You're not alone. This episode delves into why couples repeatedly fall into the same emotional patterns and—more importantly—how to break free from them.

We open with the story of Emily and Jake, whose dinner table disconnect represents a common scenario many couples face. When Jake walks in absorbed in his phone while Emily hopes for connection over a thoughtfully prepared meal, it triggers an all-too-familiar spiral. The real question underneath isn't about dinner or phones—it's about being seen.

The science behind these patterns reveals why good intentions aren't enough. Each time we repeat a conflict pattern, those neural pathways strengthen, making it increasingly difficult to respond differently when emotions run high. This explains why even couples who've "read all the books" still fall into destructive cycles.

The good news? Meaningful change doesn't require grand gestures or relationship overhauls. As we explore, it happens through small, intentional shifts that interrupt established patterns. "Small hinges swing big doors," as Tricia describes, and these tiny changes consistently applied transform relationship dynamics over time.

We share five powerful tools to break destructive patterns: focusing on the pattern rather than the problem, creating a pause phrase, practicing tiny repairs in the moment, reflecting weekly together, and replacing judgment with curiosity. Each strategy helps couples move from their reactive states back to what we call the "green zone"—where you're regulated enough for real connection.

Dr. Jeff offers special insight for couples rebuilding after betrayal: "It's not your responsibility to trust them; it's their responsibility to be trustworthy." This crucial distinction removes pressure from the hurt partner to "just get over it" and places responsibility for rebuilding trust where it belongs.

Ready to try something different? Listen for practical reflection questions and an invitation to make one small shift this week. Your relationship isn't beyond repair—it just needs the right kind of support and a commitment to small, meaningful changes.

Questions: Check in with us at [email protected]

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Dive into the fascinating world of core motives and discover why understanding the "why" behind your actions could revolutionize every relationship in your life. Kathy Larson returns for part two of our exploration of the Color Code system, revealing the crucial difference between personality traits and core motives that drives our behavior at the deepest level.

Most relationship challenges stem from fundamental misunderstandings about what drives us. When a power-motivated Red and a peace-seeking White try to communicate without understanding these differences, the results can be frustrating for both. One partner feels steamrolled while the other feels ignored. Kathy unpacks this dynamic with practical wisdom, offering tangible strategies for bridging these differences without either person abandoning their authentic self.

The episode takes a surprising turn when we explore the concept of "character development" - how we can intentionally develop strengths from colors that don't come naturally to us. Kathy shares her personal journey as a Yellow working on commitment (a Blue strength), while I reflect on my growth in becoming more direct and confident (Red qualities) despite my Blue tendencies to prioritize harmony over clarity. These stories illustrate how understanding your core motive frees you to expand rather than limiting you to a box.

Perhaps the most powerful revelation is how the Color Code aligns with emotional intelligence development. Reds naturally excel at motivation, Yellows at social skills, Blues at empathy, and Whites at self-regulation - while self-awareness remains the foundation everyone must build. This framework provides a roadmap for personal growth that honors your innate wiring.

We're thrilled to announce our upcoming collaboration with the Color Code team to integrate these powerful insights into our Healing Hearts program for struggling couples and our new White Coats and Worn Hearts initiative specifically designed for physician couples navigating burnout and relational disconnect. Whether you're just discovering your color or looking to apply this knowledge more effectively, this episode offers both the understanding and practical tools to transform how you see yourself and connect with others.

Questions?  Email us at [email protected]