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Today we talked about collaboration — how working with the right people, in the right way, builds your reputation and deepens others’ confidence in you. Tonight we’re taking that one step further.
Because collaboration isn’t just about the work. It’s about what you signal to the people around you while the work is happening.
Let’s ground first.
Feet on the floor. Feel the ground supporting you.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
Here’s the scene.
You’re in a meeting. A colleague — let’s call her Joanna — raises a genuinely good point. Before she even finishes, the room moves on, talks over her, or worse, dismisses it entirely.
You noticed. What do you do?
First, take a brief moment to assess. What was the most important thing she said? Is this worth bringing back into the room?
If it is — and it usually is, if you noticed it — speak up.
“Can we go back to what Joanna said? I think that was an important point.”
That’s it. You don’t have to argue for it, defend it, or make it your own. You just name it and return it to the room. You give it another chance to land.
Allyship doesn’t always require words.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do in a meeting is stay physically present and attentive while someone else is speaking.
Nod when something resonates. Make eye contact with your colleague — not in a performance for the room, but a quiet signal that says I’m with you. You’ve got this. Hold your posture steady when the room gets uncomfortable. Don’t look away when someone is being challenged.
Body language in a tense room is its own language. People are reading it constantly, whether they realize it or not.
Use your own experience as a guide.
Think about a time you were presenting something and the room turned against it. What did you need in that moment? What would it have meant to have someone bring your point back? To catch your eye and hold it steady?
That’s the standard. Whatever you would have needed — that’s what you offer.
Now, notice when others do the same for you. That’s one way to identify your allies.
Why this matters beyond the moment.
Signaling allyship in a dysfunctional environment is a quiet but significant act. It tells people that competence is being noticed, even when leadership isn’t the one noticing it. It creates small moments of solidarity in rooms that can feel isolating. And it builds something over time — a reputation as someone who pays attention, who is fair, who can be trusted to speak up when it matters.
That kind of reputation compounds. The people you support remember it. They return it. Slowly, you build a base of genuine mutual investment that has nothing to do with titles or org charts.
In a dimly lit room, that’s not a small thing. That’s how the light starts.
Evening reflection: Think back to a meeting where someone supported you — where you felt seen or backed up in a moment that mattered. How did you feel before it happened? How did you feel after?
That feeling is what you’re offering when you signal allyship to someone else.
In the Room wraps up tomorrow with Day 5 — making the most of everything you’ve learned, and how to carry it forward.
Visit unmanagedpeople.com for news and updates.
Thanks for reading Unmanaged! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
By Elizabeth ArnottToday we talked about collaboration — how working with the right people, in the right way, builds your reputation and deepens others’ confidence in you. Tonight we’re taking that one step further.
Because collaboration isn’t just about the work. It’s about what you signal to the people around you while the work is happening.
Let’s ground first.
Feet on the floor. Feel the ground supporting you.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
Here’s the scene.
You’re in a meeting. A colleague — let’s call her Joanna — raises a genuinely good point. Before she even finishes, the room moves on, talks over her, or worse, dismisses it entirely.
You noticed. What do you do?
First, take a brief moment to assess. What was the most important thing she said? Is this worth bringing back into the room?
If it is — and it usually is, if you noticed it — speak up.
“Can we go back to what Joanna said? I think that was an important point.”
That’s it. You don’t have to argue for it, defend it, or make it your own. You just name it and return it to the room. You give it another chance to land.
Allyship doesn’t always require words.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do in a meeting is stay physically present and attentive while someone else is speaking.
Nod when something resonates. Make eye contact with your colleague — not in a performance for the room, but a quiet signal that says I’m with you. You’ve got this. Hold your posture steady when the room gets uncomfortable. Don’t look away when someone is being challenged.
Body language in a tense room is its own language. People are reading it constantly, whether they realize it or not.
Use your own experience as a guide.
Think about a time you were presenting something and the room turned against it. What did you need in that moment? What would it have meant to have someone bring your point back? To catch your eye and hold it steady?
That’s the standard. Whatever you would have needed — that’s what you offer.
Now, notice when others do the same for you. That’s one way to identify your allies.
Why this matters beyond the moment.
Signaling allyship in a dysfunctional environment is a quiet but significant act. It tells people that competence is being noticed, even when leadership isn’t the one noticing it. It creates small moments of solidarity in rooms that can feel isolating. And it builds something over time — a reputation as someone who pays attention, who is fair, who can be trusted to speak up when it matters.
That kind of reputation compounds. The people you support remember it. They return it. Slowly, you build a base of genuine mutual investment that has nothing to do with titles or org charts.
In a dimly lit room, that’s not a small thing. That’s how the light starts.
Evening reflection: Think back to a meeting where someone supported you — where you felt seen or backed up in a moment that mattered. How did you feel before it happened? How did you feel after?
That feeling is what you’re offering when you signal allyship to someone else.
In the Room wraps up tomorrow with Day 5 — making the most of everything you’ve learned, and how to carry it forward.
Visit unmanagedpeople.com for news and updates.
Thanks for reading Unmanaged! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.