Written Spring 2013

For months I did not sleep in the same place as my babies. Speaking that fact made my throat choke and tears stream down my face. There were moments when I felt confident about my choices and direction. But whenever I felt like torturing myself I would ask, "What kind of mother doesn't sleep in the same place as her babies?" And then I would answer myself by falling apart...

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I have another podcast and platform called The WellBeing Project. It’s a fresh, practical approach to mental and physical well-being. Really, it’s part of my dream to create meaningful support for every person who needs it. I’d love you to check it out.

www.RachelBulkley.com

www.TheWellBeingProject.info

The WellBeing Project Podcast

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This episode is a spontaneous recording I made nearly a month ago. I’d just used AI to help shorten the spiral of rumination after a recent breakup. I wanted to share what a surprisingly brilliant tool it can be for reducing the emotional toll of feeling misrepresented when a relationship ends.

There are helpful ways to use AI, and there are… less helpful ways. That day, I was reveling in the relief of having my efforts and intentions recognized, after they'd been denied, ignored, or distorted by someone else. But before I got to that part of the story, I went deeper into the backstory than I planned to.

This isn’t emotional exhibitionism. It’s taken me a few weeks to circle back and decide to post it. I’m sharing because I’ve always found comfort and solidarity in hearing from other humans who are doing their best despite flaws and frailties. This is the kind of thing I appreciate hearing, so I’m offering it in case someone else needs to.

I've changed the name of the person I was in a relationship with. We have mutual friends, and I don’t share this for him or for them. If it feels unkind, that’s unfortunate, there’s no malice behind it.

Enjoy x

I recorded this while hiking yesterday, just letting my thoughts flow as I walked through the woods. I was thinking out loud about frameworks that have helped me make sense of spiritual evolution and the relationship strain that often comes with it.

I talk about what I call my Vending Machine Theory of Religion—a perspective that helps me make sense of faith in general and its many manifestations. I start off with why everything being energy isn't mystical fluff but basic physics, then talk about how our brain's plasticity means we can adjust or improve spiritual perception. And I share why I—as someone who deeply believes in God—actually have credible space for atheism.

If you've ever felt caught between your spiritual past and where you're growing, or if you're navigating the pain of growing apart from people you used to share sacred space with, this conversation is for you. I'll talk about the grace we owe ourselves and others, why some of us have what I call the mystic urge, and making peace with being a spiritual explorer in a world that often prefers spiritual settlers.

If that sounds interesting, lace up your mental hiking boots, and let's walk this trail together.

Here are some completely unedited thoughts on science, spirituality, and making peace with spiritual evolution.

Original written 2022

My daughter absolutely adores Taylor Swift.

A few months ago we were discussing a scenario where she would actually meet her idol. She couldn't imagine anything but freaking out and nearly having a panic attack. I asked her why and she couldn't say exactly, just that the thought of it totally overwhelmed her. I suggested that it might be that she was thinking of Taylor Swift as something other than a human like her...

www.RachelBulkley.com

www.TheWellBeingProject.info

The WellBeing Project Podcast

Back in 2003 I was arriving home from work one evening when I heard a voice say something really random and curious. I’d just gotten off the tube, London’s subway system, near where I was living.

As I entered the garden and walked toward the side entrance, I wasn’t thinking about anything in particular when all of the sudden I heard a voice say, “You are a mystic.” I remember putting my key in the lock and thinking, “A what? Huh, I wonder what that means.”

Oddly, even though I thought about it for a few days, I don’t remember googling, “What is a mystic?” I just sort of let it go...

www.RachelBulkley.com

www.TheWellBeingProject.info

The WellBeing Project Podcast

I didn’t know yesterday was going to be a defining moment in my life. While it was happening I was pacing between event spaces in the beautiful clubhouse of our new apartment complex, anxiously scanning the activities of a few dozen middle schoolers, and then checking my watch.

When parents came to pick up their children from my son’s twelfth birthday party I joked with them that it had been the longest two hours of my life.

A parent told me they heard a kid exclaim, “This was the greatest day of my life!”

Apparently, it was a pretty rad party. I’m glad that was their experience. I was mostly trying to hear myself think, and keep myself from looking like a cop in a mosh pit...

Read on MEDIUM

I have another podcast and platform called The WellBeing Project. It’s a fresh, practical approach to mental and physical well-being. Really, it’s part of my dream to create meaningful support for every person who needs it. I’d love you to check it out.

www.RachelBulkley.com

www.TheWellBeingProject.info

The WellBeing Project Podcast

Read on Medium

Instagram

For more than twenty years I obsessively searched for my unique purpose, and how to live it out uncompromisingly. My ideas of what would look like always felt complicated and far off. I accepted that it would involve sacrifice and hard work. My frustration was that I never understood how to find the path I needed to be on in order to get where I was supposed to go.

I watched peers achieve impressive accomplishments while I struggled to define who I was, and what I was doing with my life. Eventually, I discovered that the answers weren’t nearly as complicated or distant as I imagined.

Read on MEDIUM

I have another podcast and platform called The WellBeing Project. It’s a fresh, practical approach to mental and physical well-being. Really, it’s part of my dream to create meaningful support for every person who needs it. I’d love you to check it out.

www.RachelBulkley.com

www.TheWellBeingProject.info

The WellBeing Project Podcast

Read on Medium

Instagram

When I was much younger I thought about integrity as a moral virtue. It meant doing the right thing when no one was looking. It was a constant reminder of the need to make sure I was behaving rightly; being a good person no matter what. It was a word that felt out of my league.

In my most authentic moments, I couldn't be confident that I had true integrity.

Read on MEDIUM

I have another podcast and platform called The WellBeing Project. It’s a fresh, practical approach to mental and physical well-being. Really, it’s part of my dream to create meaningful support for every person who needs it. I’d love you to check it out.

www.RachelBulkley.com

www.TheWellBeingProject.info

The WellBeing Project Podcast

Read on Medium

Instagram

January 2019

Every week I meet with a group of murderers, rapists, pedophiles, and other assorted criminal offenders. We sit around tables in a classroom on the fourth floor of a maximum security jail. And we talk about well-being.

For months I never bothered to find out why each of my participants were locked up. I assumed most were for drug related charges. Why I assumed that, I can’t say for sure. Naiveté, most likely. Or maybe because the labels “murderer,” “rapist,” or “pedophile,” invoke images of monsters, not the individuals I talk and listen and joke with...

Read this on Medium

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I have another podcast and platform called The WellBeing Project. It’s a fresh, practical approach to mental and physical well-being. Really, it’s part of my dream to create meaningful support for every person who needs it. I’d love you to check it out.

www.RachelBulkley.com

www.TheWellBeingProject.info

The WellBeing Project Podcast

Read on Medium

Instagram

Original content, August 2018

My friend Bill went missing earlier this summer. His car was discovered in a wooded area several miles from home. His body not long after. He left a simple note with instructions for whom to notify. When the police called, they explained my contact info was also in his wallet and could I answer some questions...

I have another podcast and platform called The WellBeing Project. It’s a fresh, practical approach to mental and physical well-being. Really, it’s part of my dream to create meaningful support for every person who needs it. I’d love you to check it out.

www.RachelBulkley.com

www.TheWellBeingProject.info

The WellBeing Project Podcast

Instagram