The Ranches Podcast

As a family do you subscribe to a grateful or covetous spirit? Is your time and energy focused on being grateful for what you have and what you have done? Do the possessions and accomplishments of those around you capture your attention?

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Do you know how to rest? One of the things that’s really critical for kids, that starts at home, is rest. As an adult do you teach your kids or show them how important it is to rest?

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Does your family lie? We all lie. It’s pretty common to have little white lies here, little white lies there. But do your kids watch you lie on a regular basis? Are you teaching your kids to lie?

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We all have difficult people in our lives. How our children deal with those difficult people is going to trace back to how we, as parents, have dealt with difficult people in our lives.

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Family Worship is the object of our exploration on this episode of Raise Them Up Podcast. What do your kids see you focus your time, effort and energy on? An hour on Sunday morning is one level of energy, but what do they see you doing the rest of the week?

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If the one thing you can do for your child is always make life a little bit easier to navigate, it is so worth it. It starts at home.

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What divides us? A lot of families are trying to deal with the differences that exist in their own family. By learning the importance of diverse thought, we can avoid contempt and resentment for those who live their lives differently. It is critical for us to teach our children to react to these events in a rational and reasonable way. We must meet these events with patience, understanding and a conversation.

Join The Ranches as they explore the value in having the capability to disagree with someone, without it destroying the relationship. Learn important strategies for dealing with what divides us.

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We all have memories from distinctive times in our past. Every family goes through things. Tough times…challenging times…celebratory times…times of change. Emotions link to memories and memories are a part of what makes us. What will our kids remember about quarantine?

I don’t believe that I am out of line in calling this a distinctive time in our lives and in the lives of our kids. “School’s out for Summer” was just a catchy lyric in my day, it was never intended for the month of March. This is the reality for millions of kids today; a complete disruption to routine and rhythm and a societal abandonment of the consistency and predictability afforded kids by school, sports, teachers and the structure of their time.

Seemingly, in an instant, everything has changed. Stay at home is the new normal. In addition, parents are at home and, while acting as the new teachers, also have jobs that, in many cases, have moved home. It feels like all the rules have changed. The dog is happy to have company while the cat just wishes everyone would leave again. As a rule, people just aren’t very good at new normals or temporary changes or disruptions to predictability and consistency. We love our routine and our rhythm. The same goes for our kids.

As a result of these circumstances that are beyond our control, the most agile and adaptable are outpacing the most athletic and disciplined. Athletes, as it turns out, aren’t as essential as we thought, while nurses are more essential than we ever imagined. We miss our sports but need our medical professionals

The most agile and adaptable parents are also most likely to outpace those who are more dedicated to traditional routines, rules, structure and pace. Agile and adaptable people are looking for opportunities while their counterparts cling to what used to be. Those who fail to adapt find themselves powerfully equipped for a society that no longer exists. 

If we set aside our own personal feelings aside, what will our kids remember about quarantine? I have two children being impacted (1 high school and 1 college) because they will have to remember the graduation ceremony that did not happen. Their graduation memories will not be filled with a ceremony celebrating their hard work. While we will celebrate their accomplishments, they will not know the feeling of the calling of their name and that walk across the stage that we all took. Somehow, it just doesn’t seem remotely adequate.

Were they a burden and an inconvenience?

Would we have rather been anywhere else?

Did they miss out because they were penned in?

Will they think that their parents missed work more than they loved spending time with their children?

Can they quote, “This is a teacher’s responsibility! Not mine.”

Will they remember parents who say, “I can’t wait until this is over.”

Or will they remember a parent saying, “I don’t really want this to end.”

And, “I’ll miss being around you all the time when this is over.”

Or, “We should continue to eat dinner together…even when we don’t have to.”

And, “We had such a great time and became so much closer as a family.”

Or, “Who needs FaceTime when we can talk face to face anytime?”

Those memories will be determined by us and they will be concretized with either feelings of “burden and inconvenience” or “opportunity and optimism.” We, as their parents, have incredible power and influence with our kids and we can choose to make them more important than any crisis or, conversely, we can choose any crisis over our children.

I am “all in” for the opportunity transcending crisis. Hopefully in the “new normal”that comes after this current new normal, we will keep prioritizing time spent face to face over time spent on FaceTime and meals together over meals eaten at the same time. In the end, one of the good things that may come out of this is a generation that had the unprecedented opportunity to spend quality time with their parents at a time when they most needed quality attention from those that loved them first and will always love them the most.

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Join The Ranches as they explore the fringe. The fringe is when you’re kind of on the edge of a spectrum, political, parenting or whatever it is. It’s the extreme edges of not mainstream, it’s on the fringe of things.

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Today we’re going to talk about control and control issues. We are all at some point or another catapulted into this idea that we need to have control of something.