The Real Age of Empires

Macedonian Dynasty (Age of Empires IV, 867–1056 CE) episode 1. We cover the rise of Basil I from peasant to Byzantine emperor, as well as other emperors of this dynasty. We discuss Constantinople, the hippodrome (AoE4 landmark), Greek fire, Byzantine court politics, Leo the Wise, and more.

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00:00 That's So Byzantine...

02:15 Founding the Dynasty (Basil I)

18:06 Rebirth of the Empire

24:15 Hippodrome of Constantinople

31:10 Notable Emperors

41:38 Greek Fire

45:08 Oracles of Leo the Wise

Thracians (Age of Empires II Chronicles, 480 BCE–46 CE) episode 2. We share what life would have been like for the average Thracian man and woman, then place the civilisation on our Life of a Villager Tier List. We discuss the warrior culture, wine, wives, gold, gods, burials, hunting, and more.

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00:00 Apology...

01:36 Society and Politics

06:23 Economy and Daily Life

11:56 Religion and Myth

19:47 Arts, Music and Entertainment

25:01 Burials

31:54 Seuthopolis City

37:31 Barbarians?

40:10 Pelte Shield

41:10 Odrysian Kingdom Name

42:00 Tier List

Thracians (Age of Empires II Chronicles, 480 BCE–46 CE) episode 1. We talk the ancient history of the Balkans region, covering the underrated peoples known as the Thracians. We discuss the Odrysian Kingdom, Athens, Sparta, Persia, AoE Chronicles' Rhomphaia Warriors, Spartacus, Alexander the Great, and more.

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00:00 Who Invented History?

01:59 Who Were the Thracians?

08:49 Founding the Odrysian Kingdom

14:01 Rhomphaia Warriors

19:17 Athens & Thrace vs. Sparta & Macedon

26:15 Macedon Dominates

33:24 "I Am Spartacus"

38:21 Tattoos — Good or Bad?

Japanese pantheon (Age of Mythology) episode 2. We talk minor gods and their connection to storm god Susanoo, as well as crazu cool yokai myth units, then place the Japanese on the Life of a Villager Tier List. We discuss the thunder god, catfish wealth redistribution, the first sumo wrestlers, the 6 realms of Buddhism, Wanyudo, Onmoraki, Asura, and more.

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00:00 God of Thunder (Takemikazuchi)

03:18 Catfish & Wealth Redistribution

06:44 The First Sumo Wrestler

08:39 Flaming Head (Wanyudo)

10:07 The Noble Minakatatomi

12:10 Creepy Birds (Onmoraki)

13:12 Canon Conflics & Okuninushi

21:43 Demigods (Asura)

22:45 Buddhism - The 6 Realms

28:00 Did You Know...

29:11 Good Yokai?

32:06 Tier List Placement

Japanese pantheon (Age of Mythology) episode 1. We dive into the madness of major god Susanoo's saga, from his birth to his battle with titan unit Yamata No Orochi. We also cover yokai myth units like the Kitsune and discuss the Shinto religion, including creator gods Izanagi & Izanami, Yomi, and more.

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00:00 Shinto

02:39 Creation Story (Izanagi & Izanami)

06:27 The Underworld (Yomi)

08:54 Three Noble Children

11:05 Susanoo

13:24 Susanoo vs Amaterasu

17:18 Yokai Myth Unit - Kitsune

22:12 Yokai Myth Unit - Honengyo

24:57 Yokai Myth Unit - Umibozu

28:04 Yamata No Orochi

34:11 Familiar Themes

35:02 Craziest Yokai - Butt-Eye!?

36:11 Kamitategami-Iwa

Aztecs (Age of Empires II & III, 1300–1521 CE) episode 4. We reveal what life was like for the average Aztec, and then place the civilisation on our Life of a Villager Tier List. We discuss riddles, food, religion, sports, drugs, attraction, beards, money, and more.

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00:00 Aztec Riddle

02:47 Floating Gardens

08:59 Sports

12:09 Sexual Attraction

16:57 Beards

20:07 Monogamy vs Polygamy

22:39 Food

27:47 Drugs

28:34 Beds

29:21 Work/Jobs

32:17 Currency/Payment

33:24 Books?

34:34 Religion - Sun God

36:05 Religion - 400 Rabbits

37:26 Religion - Filth Goddess

39:42 Religion - Our Flayed Lord

42:46 WARNING: Human Sacrifice

46:20 What Happened to Lake Texcoco?

47:48 The Law

49:37 Would You Want to Live Here?

Aztecs (Age of Empires II & III, 1300–1521 CE) episode 3. We talk the weapons and armour available to Aztec warriors, as well as the Jaguar and Eagle military orders. We reveal the real equivalents of units across AoE2 and AoE3, then discuss the Siege of Tenochtitlan, smallpox, colonial rule, and more.

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00:00 Cotton Armour

01:53 Obsidian Weapons

04:42 Promotion - No Shoes Allowed

08:10 Jaguar & Eagle Warriors

12:25 Ranged Weapons

14:55 Coyote Runner

17:00 Military Ranks - Skull Knights & Warrior Priests

21:02 Tlaloc Canoe

22:28 End of the Aztecs - Smallpox & Siege of Tenochtitlan

37:48 Colonial Rule

41:03 What Happened to Cortés?

41:59 Merchants - Wealthy Warriors

44:42 Triple Alliance - Texcoco & Tlacopan

Aztecs (Age of Empires II & III, 1300–1521 CE) episode 2. We share the greatest acheivements of Aztec emperors and then tell the story of Spanish arrival to Mesoamerica. We discuss the AoE2 Aztec Wonder, Moctezuma II, Hernán Cortés, the Spanish-Tlaxcala alliance, Tenochtitlan, and more.

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00:00 Moctezuma I - Aztec Wonder

02:56 Axayacatl - Purépecha Empire

05:58 Tizoc - Weak

06:14 Ahuitzotl - Aqueduct Madness

09:05 Moctezuma II - Great Leader?

14:10 Cortés Origin + Arrival

18:16 First Miracle

20:15 Second Miracle

23:17 Veracruz + Totonac Alliance

26:09 Moctezuma II Reacts

29:42 Tlaxcala Alliance

31:54 Europeans Were Gods?

33:00 Cholula Destruction

34:29 Moctezuma II's Gambit

36:53 Cortés Reaches Tenochtitlan

39:32 Moctezuma II's Home Arrest

41:14 Spanish Player 2 Enters

45:14 The Night of Sorrows

49:55 Moctezuma II's Death

52:34 Tenochtitlan Zoo

55:39 Happy Ending?

Aztecs (Age of Empires II & III, 1300–1521 CE) episode 1. We explore the origins of the Mexica people and the superpowers of Mesoamerica that came before them, as well as the Mexica's rise to domiance. We discuss Teotihuacan, the Toltecs, the Triple Alliance, Flower Wars, and more.

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00:00 Pre-Aztec Origins

07:22 The Mexica and Tenochtitlan

11:57 The Triple Alliance

18:20 Mesoamerican Warfare

22:31 Flower Wars (mainstream version)

27:44 Flower Wars (alternative version)

30:58 Dental Bling

33:41 Xolotl Warrior - Secret AoE2 Unit

Swedes (Age of Empires III, 1611–1721 CE) episode 3. We talk about life in Sweden for the average person and then place the civiliastion on our Life of a Villager Tier List. We discuss the home, conscription, work, farming, food, medicine, sex appeal, and more.

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00:00 The Best Joke

00:31 Homes and Torps

06:19 Conscription

08:23 What Did They Eat?

09:19 New World Crops

11:36 Frederick The Great

13:14 Food Continued

14:50 Medicine

17:19 Sex Appeal

25:15 Vasa Warship

28:22 Swedish Massage

29:07 Sámi People

32:27 Tier List Placement