Once I get the promotion. Once I close the deal. Once I lose the weight. Once. Once. Once.

In August 2022, four months after closing the seed at Clockwork, I sat in this chair and told you I had it figured out. I'm coming back to that episode four years later — not to say I was wrong about VC, but to say what I was actually doing the whole time I made it.

I was inside the ambition trap.

This episode is what the trap actually is — the gap between what we expect achievement to deliver (arrived, done, okay, worthy) and what it actually delivers (a week of dopamine and a quiet voice that says: what's next). Same mechanic as addiction. Different drug. The drug is achievement.

I walk you through three rooms — Boeing, bootstrapping Clockwork, and the round itself. Same engine. Same trap. The room never mattered. Both columns of the ledger: 306 pounds and broke on one side; a hundred pounds gone, a company built, real love in my life on the other. Same switch the whole way.

The trap isn't ambition. The trap is inheriting the engine and never being taught where the off button is.

If you've ever chased the thing that was supposed to fix it and woken up thirty days later with the goalpost already moved — this one's for you.

—

The Real Slim Fady Show is a podcast about founders, failure, identity, and what it actually costs to build something real. Hosted by Fady Hawatmeh, founder of Clockwork.

Follow: https://open.spotify.com/show/33udmtFwjLFt48pWSViwUz

Connect with Fady: https://x.com/FadyHawatmeh | https://www.linkedin.com/in/fadyhawatmeh/

#ambition #burnout #founder #podcast

The worst loneliness isn't being kept out of the room. It's being let in, as someone you're not.

For the majority of my life, I was a chameleon. I'd change my color for anyone, the pronunciation of my name, the drink in my hand, the version of me that walked into the room. People called me that and I took it as a compliment. What nobody told me was that the "you" people accept when you shrink is never actually you. The performance gets the love. The real you disappears.

This episode is about the watered-down version of ourselves, the softer, quieter, easier-to-swallow edit we write so we can be loved without being seen. It's about the difference between fitting in and belonging, and what happens the first time you stop performing.

If you've ever been well-liked and lonely in the same breath, this one's for you.

I've been sitting on these stories for years. Not because I was scared to tell them. Because I wasn't ready.

In this episode, I tell three stories I've never shared publicly before. The first is about the time I got fired — recruited to take over a company at 25 and sabotaged by the guy who was supposed to be my ally. The second is about my best friend of 12 years who I hired at Clockwork, and how he formed a mutiny that nearly destroyed everything I built. The third is about a well-known VC who killed my deal the moment he found out I was Arab.

Three different people. Three different rooms. Three different years. Same bet against me. Same result. I'm still here.

This one's for anyone who's been fired, betrayed, or told they don't belong. You're not the only one.

That's the number I saw when I finally stepped on a scale after years of refusing to look. Three hundred and six pounds. I was building Clockwork, closing deals, showing up for everyone except myself — and I didn't even realize how far gone I was. I bought bigger clothes instead of asking harder questions. I skipped meals or ate whatever was fastest. I told myself health could wait until after the next fundraise, the next launch, the next quarter. There was always a next thing. This episode is the story I've never told in full — how I got to 306 without noticing, the moment that number broke something open in me, and the nearly 100-pound journey that came after. It wasn't a montage. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. And the hardest part wasn't the gym or the food — it was giving myself permission to matter as much as my company. If you're a founder running on caffeine and cortisol telling yourself you'll deal with it later, this one's for you. There is no later.

The Fire That Almost Destroyed Me | Founder Burnout (Raw & Unfiltered)

What happens when the fire you started to build your dream starts burning you alive? I wrote my resignation letter three times. Not from a job, from my own company. This is the episode I should've recorded a long time ago.

No guest. No playbook. Just me and the mic talking about the thing nobody warns you about when you decide to build something from nothing.

In this episode:

00:00 — Cold Open

02:00 — The myth we were sold (and why it's dangerous)

10:00 — The descent: withdrawal, cynicism, your body screaming, losing yourself

22:00 — The bottom (one specific night on a kitchen floor)

30:00 — The climb back: what actually helped

40:00 — What I'd say to you right now

44:00 — Close

If you're a founder and something in this episode hits a nerve, don't share it. Send it to a founder you're worried about. You know who they are.

Take care of yourself. I mean that.

Follow The Real Slim Fady Show:

🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/33udmtFwjLFt48pWSViwUz

🍎 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-real-slim-fady-show/id1640522523

🎵 Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/dc4e93f6-06e2-45a4-9184-ccdf929eb879/the-real-slim-fady-show

#founderburnout #startuplife #entrepreneurship #mentalhealth #founderlife #burnout #therealslimfadyshow #podcast

I'm back. And I'm sharing about why I left. When I launched The Real Slim Fady Show in 2022, the whole point was simple, be raw, be real, and talk about the stuff nobody says out loud about building a company, losing yourself in the process, and figuring it out as you go. But somewhere along the way, the podcast started drifting from what made it mine, and it went from something I loved to something that felt like an obligation on top of running Clockwork. So I stepped away. This episode is my reintroduction, why I started the show, what went wrong, what I learned from the silence, and what Season 2 is going to be. If you've ever built something that got away from you, or if you've ever needed permission to course correct, this one's for you. The real slim Fady is back.

Networking can't be understated when it comes to the professional world, especially with the benefits it has on the personal side. Making sure to surround yourself with people that make you better can be the difference between life or death in your company. A conversation with Nicole Davis.

I'm joined by Randy Crabtree in talking about mental health these days and how it's changed the way business is done.

Now that companies have been remote for so long, it's changed the way culture's built and culture is maintained. I'm joined with successful accountant entrepreneur to talk about how you can build a culture to win in today's world of remote and hybrid work. A conversation with Roman Villard.

The mindset necessary to evolve as a business owner and firm owner is more important now than ever. I'm joined by successful entrepreneur and coach, Reza Hooda, to talk through delivering the highest value for your customers and clients.