There is a difference between acknowledging that you do stupid things and saying to yourself, 'I am stupid'. The first refers to a behaviour. The other refers to an identity.

The difference in lived experience determines the extent to which a person will move, regardless of the opportunities or even praise they receive in adulthood. Sometimes, some people take on and become one with their illness because they have no recollection of life outside of it. Most of the time, they will go on and act in accordance with the dictates of what they have believed.

Sometimes parents, sometimes a teacher, other times friends, and sometimes even strangers can be the source of labels that have now turned into identities.

What do you say of yourself NOW?

What if the God we know is a version of God that was created through the filters of our past, pain or parents?

As adults, we have the responsibility to pass on the lessons for living a good life to our children and others through intentionally modelling good habits, behaviours, and properly expressing our emotions.

Emotions are neither good nor bad; they are merely signals, indicators of something lurking around. And when we learn how to interact with the emotions appropriately, we will find therein a better life and pass on something quite valuable to the next generations

This is not ragebait; it is about one of the many conversations we will do well to start having.

*

The more I pay attention to people, the more I observe myself, the more conversations I have, the more I find myself asking a question that I genuinely do not have a complete answer to.

Why does it seem easier for human beings to bond around negative emotions than positive ones?

Why is gossip so attractive?

Why is it easier to gather people around outrage than around gratitude?

Why does bad news travel faster than good news?

A group of colleagues will bond over a terrible boss. Friends bond over gossip. Families bond over complaints.

And somehow, it all feels normal.

What is not normal is that it is not as common for people to gather with the same intensity around gratitude, kindness, encouragement, goodwill, or love.

Sigh

After I was done recording, I realised one huge thing I had left out: what we say in our heads matters, maybe even more than what we say with our mouths.

I hope that we can begin to tune the monologue, some do dialogues, in our heads to align with the Final version we would love to see of ourselves.

We are built for connection...

One of the journeys I have been on this year actually started sometime around the middle of last year, and that journey is gratitude.

And that discovery, that even though I see myself as a thankful person doesn't mean that I am a grateful person as much as I thought I was, has been uncomfortable.

But it is a journey... and I invite you to journey this journey with me

Understanding and agreement are not the same thing. I think many people struggle with communication here because they think that when they come to understand the other party, it automatically means that they agree.

It doesn't.

Once we can separate understanding from agreement, conversations become safer.

When people feel understood, they become less defensive, less combative, and more open because being understood creates safety.

And this is when communication can begin to achieve its objective.