Christmas podcast! Santa is real! I'm Santa! I have been the whole time! I've been sneaking into your house since you were little to leave you stuff! I hear sirens outside!

podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast all work and no play makes jack a dull boy

You look out your bedroom window, still awake after tossing and turning for hours. As you stare out, into the dark, something briefly flashes across your field of view. After a moment of silence, you hear a low, guttural growl. You pick up the cricket bat you keep next to your dresser, and head to the front door. When you arrive you find the door already open, swinging, creaking in the night wind. Standing there before you is some arcane creature, neither beast nor man. Your eyes almost can't make out the shape of it, for it defies perception and corrupts the mind. You raise the bat.

We're sorry for leaving you alone, the podcast will never do that to you again. The podcast loves you. The podcast loves you like no one else will. Your friends don't love you like the podcast loves you. You should stop talking to your friends and just spend more time with the podcast.

Totally unrelated to the above, I've been watching that show "You" on Netflix.

It's podcast time! Time for podcast! Cast that pod! Dredge the pod from the bottom of the lake! Dive deep and explore an underwater cavern to find the pod. The pod glows with an otherworldly light. You hear a high pitched ringing. Your mother's face flashes before your eyes. You see yourself being born. Are you reborn?

I'm going mad in lockdown.

We're back! Podcast! In spite of lockdown and general grimness, the content fount cannot be plugged.

If you're hot, don't listen to this episode. It's not your place. I am sorry for being discriminatory like this, but it must be done.

You guys, the moon has such a unique and vibrant culture, and it would be a real shame if we just covered it in luxury apartments. Keep the moon weird!

Happy Pride everybody! This episode is brought to you by everyone's favourite defence-systems provider: Raytheon! We love our sponsors (they said if we didn't post this here they'd hit us with a precision drone strike)!

They're not! Why is this even controversial?! Stop surfing on animals people; it's not okay! This is a podcast.