The lesson of realizing I don't have to try to hard to convince others

Revelations on enduring the shame of our cross

Perseverance goes 100% of the way, not 99% of the way

Defining what it means to carry your cross

The two stages of suffering and death to self

If we quit on our cross, it was all for naught

Tempted to email Laura but God shows me 1 Pet 5:12 to stay put

Fearing not being able to see my children for Christmas, I ask the Lord for mercy and for a vacation from the cross and I sense He tells me there are no vacations from the cross

Very sad about the high possibility I will not be able to see my children for Christmas and yet telling the Lord I will carry my cross as far as He wants

My mom tries to put pressure on me to get ahead of God's commands to me and get my license and go get the children.

Realizing the terrible suffering coming if I cannot go pick up the children

Realizing how quickly we forget God's past Providences and answered prayers to us and we start wavering in our faith after only a few days

Satan's blows lead to spiritual amnesia and we forget what God has promised and done

The most frequent number and Scripture God has shown me is 616, Eph 6:16 take up the shield of faith

We must hold firmly to our faith!

The awareness that all these recordings are to one day be a highway for other people to follow Christ on Only the Holy Spirit can teach another man anything

My thoughts after the talk with my parents about me being mentally ill, and how tough it is to be a follower of Jesus Christ

Step-father asks how I think God is going to deliver me

Examples of how nothing by faith in the Bible makes sense or looks rational

God is giving me and keeping me in peace in spite of the craziness of this all

Listening to the same messages as my parents, but they cannot see what I see

Realizing my parents are not accusing me, they are accusing God in me

Continuing to hold firmly to my faith, trusting God steadfastly

Faith strengthened by reading in the Bible about God's supernatural provision for those who trust Him

Encouraged again by reading A.W. Tozer chapter "The Saint Must Walk Alone"

Incredible time God shows me a friend would be call me sick, which would free me up to go to the mountain after God showed me 646

Fearing I will lose the closeness with God when He removes my affliction

Asking God not to let the persecution stop and if this is mental illness, give me more!

Realizing I don't need people anymore, but I long to help them to know God like this!

Thoughts on the false church My friends testify they know no one who is seeking God like I am

Learning to stand firm on God's first words to me when the circumstances change and flaming arrows of doubt come flooding in

It would take more faith to believe the naysayers around me than the words God has spoken to me, because my life is lining up with His ways and dealings with others in the Bible

Coming under severe doubt and flaming arrows about the numbers...see 616 ask God for a sign and He shows me 555

God shows me Luke 4:24 - No prophet is accepted in his own hometown

Amazed and encouraged by what I read in Psalm 41:5-12

A recorded argument with my parents, where they are convinced I am out of my mind.

Woman comes to my house and prophesies I'm going to jail

All of my mom's friends have now turned against me

Astonished by all the dramatic tests God is allowing to come my way

Everything I believe about God is at stake

The evidence God is with me in not in my circumstances, but in the people being impacted around me...fruitfulness

Where are the Christians who are truly examining their walk with God

Thoughts on the evidence of God in my life that the numbers represent

When I made the "Joseph Mistake" by sharing the difficult thing God was asking me to do, with others.

Feeling indignant when others refuse to honor my Father with true faith

Realizing how much all this affliction is the answer to my prayers to be more like Jesus Christ

Being stabbed with the Lord's sword that has been dipped in love.

Evidences that the Spirit of Christ is really in you

Incredible 3 part dream I have about shallowness, tearing things down, and my dad repenting at the wash machine

Insights and Revelations about the terrible deceptions and unfaithfulness in my local church The Rock

God opens Tyler's eyes to see his angel watching over him in answer to my prayer

When I first realized I'm not better than others because of my relationship with God, but just better off

Mom comes and tries to put pressure on me about the children, when God has told me to wait

The deception of counseling's belief that we have to "meet people where they are"

My mother comes to me very delicately to plead with me to realize that something is wrong with me and that I have isolated myself

In spite of what we are so often told from the pulpit, not all isolation is bad and much of it actually comes from God as seen in the lives of the saints in Scripture

A friend of mine in church hands me these horrible false teachings from a man named Jesse Duplantis and then takes my mom to one of his meetings

Real life lessons from my Men's Bible study show that until a person is broken or totally surrendered the teachings of Christ will be useless

A call to people for TOTAL surrender

Capturing a moment of weeping before the Lord for the extraordinary Joy He has given me through death to self and brokenness

God shows me 12:12 for Romans 12:12 right after I make message

Breaking down in tears feeling compassion for my ex-wife

A passionate prayer reminding Father of my faith and obedience to Him and how it will bring shame on my faith in Him if He doesn't come through for me

A commentary about not emulating my boldness before God unless you have first emulated my obedience and faith

I discover the incredible reason why God prompted me to pray so urgently for Laura

Several blessings I'm receiving in this difficult season and examples of fruit that God is producing through me

Step-father talks to me on behalf of my mother's fear about pressuring me to get my driver's license

The battles are intentional from the Lord and they make you stronger

I am having very negative feelings about my pastor and my church as I realize the messages are always stopping short of telling the whole clear truth in Scripture

My frustration with Charles Stanley preaching that you can't fall away from grace, in spite of what Scripture clearly says

The constant frustration of living for 2.5 years with parents who don't think or believe anything like I do I am so ready to be free from my prison at my parent's house to shake loose the bondage and slavery

Nothing burns me up inside as when I see a person who calls them self a Christian and who has no trust in God

I am so exhausted from being around people that do not love God

I find out my children are now being bullied by a neighbor

My mom tries to offer paying for my driver's license and I say no, even though it may mean I miss my kids and .God shows 525 and 919 to confirm

Feeling a very deep love for my Father in heaven even though my circumstances haven't changed

Reaching such a place of contentment that I now feel I could live without a wife

A new experience with a deeper peace and more contentment than I have ever felt before

Reflecting back on how much I have changed and how much work God has done

Being so thankful for all the alone time with God Like fine wine, there is no substitute for long periods of TIME in order to find a deep and satisfying relationship with God

Continuing to reflect on the irony of the incredible joy I have in all the adversity

Incredible prophetic foreshadowing of the fact that I would one day go to India!

One of the most difficult relationships on earth is between that of a true follower of Christ and a "believer" who doesn't obey Christ

God leads me to Romans 8:18 to encourage me in my suffering

Asking the question honestly, "Is God ever really going to bless me after all of this?"

God speaks me to Matthew 7:11 and Luke 11:11 right while I'm in the middle of this question I'm talking about in my journal

Lessons and encouragement from the love story of Charles and Susanna Spurgeon

Asking the Lord will my life always be suffering and persecution or will I ever see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living?

I don't have unbelief, but I do have moments of doubt and lots of ups and downs

More struggles with memorizing Scripture Feeling sensitive to what may be more pride I sense in myself in my men's Bible study

Struggling to find the balance between being gentle and being passionate and fiery in my ministry

My recorded prayer pleading with the Lord to please guide me in my disposition and passion in my messages and to not let me be in the way

A most important moment which proves God has been wise and loving to not yet take the pressure off of me and bring deliverance yet

The first Thanksgiving day I've ever had without any family to love and celebrate with

Seeing so clearly the sword Christ brought to separate his sheep from the goats in my family