🔥 Excerpt
"Introversion just gives us a lens to look at ourselves—it's not an identity you have to own."
⚡ TL;DR
Former tech leader turned executive coach Sharissa Deppen unpacks how introverted founders can lead with conviction without burning out. We cover boundaries vs. people-pleasing, the real meaning of servant leadership, how to recharge your energy tank, and the underrated superpowers introverts bring to high-stakes environments.
📄 Show Notes
I've lost count of how many founders quietly confess they're introverts—usually right after telling me, "But I can't be; I run a company." Newsflash: the two aren't at odds. In this episode, Sharissa Deppen, a former software engineer and technology leader who burned out at a global company before pivoting into leadership coaching, shows what introverted servant leadership looks like when it's done right—and why it wins.
Sharissa's path starts where a lot of ours do: overextended, overcommitted, and convincing ourselves it's "just a season." She did the brave thing—got a coach, did the work, and discovered coaching was the work she was built for. Today, she helps leaders who serve hard and think deep—often at their own expense—build the boundaries and rhythms that let them lead at a high level without emptying the tank.
We set the record straight on introversion. It's not anti-social. It's energy economics. You can thrive in a boardroom, run a town hall, or pitch a room of investors—and still need solitude to refuel. That reframe matters, because when you stop apologizing for how you're wired, you can start designing your leadership around it: fewer performative meetings, more intentional one-on-ones; less noise, more signal.
Then we get into servant leadership. Too many people hear "servant" and think "pushover." Wrong. Servant leaders are others-focused, not approval-addicted. Boundaries aren't optional; they're infrastructure. If everything is a yes, nothing is a priority. Sharissa's rule of thumb: protect the relationship while telling the truth. You can resource someone, redirect a request, or say "not yet" without setting yourself on fire to keep the room warm.
We talk about the real villain for introverts: people-pleasing disguised as "being a team player." That mindset corrodes confidence, blurs decisions, and ties your organization to everyone else's emotions. The fix isn't becoming hard; it's becoming grounded. Build a reputation bank account through consistent service and clarity. When a hard no comes, it draws on a balance the team already trusts.
Sharissa also names the introvert edge most founders underestimate: deep listening, room-reading, precision timing, and meaningful one-to-one connection. When an introverted leader speaks after observing the dynamics, the room listens—because it's surgical, not spray-and-pray. Add empathy and strategic patience, and you get decisions that land—and stick.
We take on identity, too. Labels can help you see the pattern, but they shouldn't become the prison. "Introvert," "servant leader"—use the lens; don't live in it. Define what servant leadership means for you and your company. Codify the values. Then operationalize them so the culture doesn't depend on your mood or your calendar.
Finally, we talk sustainability. If you're always "on," you're building a business on fumes. Sharissa's playbook is simple and unsexy (which means it works): deliberate breaks, actual recovery (not scrolling), nature, breath work, prayer, quality time with people who refill the tank, and work hygiene that lets your brain clock out after your laptop does. When you protect your energy, you protect your discernment—and your team gets a leader who makes clean calls.
If you're an introverted founder who's been grinding your way through leadership, this episode is your permission slip to stop fighting your wiring and start leveraging it. Quiet power, bold impact. That's the game.
✅ Key Takeaways • Energy is strategy: design your calendar for how you refuel, not how others prefer to meet. • Servant ≠ doormat: keep boundaries tight, relationships intact, and priorities clear. • Ditch people-pleasing: lead for the mission, not for universal agreement. • Use the lens, don't wear the label: let "introvert" inform you—not define you. • Play to superpowers: listen deeply, read the room, speak with precision, connect one-to-one. • Recovery is performance: sleep, movement, nature, prayer, real breaks—non-negotiable.
🎁 Giveaways
Sharissa's TED Talk Cliff Notes: "The Pursuit of Happiness in the Workplace." Find the link to her TED talk and the downloadable summary in the show notes sidebar.
🧭 Chapters
00:00 Introduction & Sharissa's background 02:08 From global tech leadership to coaching 06:02 What introversion really is (energy, not antisocial) 08:36 Defining servant leadership without the doormat myth 09:49 Boundaries that protect you—and the relationship 11:33 Hard conversations minus the people-pleasing 13:39 Confidence, perception, and clean decision-making 14:33 When to get help: signals you're beyond DIY 21:37 The introvert edge: listening, room-reading, precision 23:39 Identity: use the lens, don't become the label 26:30 Women as introverted servant leaders—unique challenges 34:57 Bringing happiness back to work (TED talk) 36:43 Practical refueling for introverted leaders 38:02 Leading extroverts and supporting introverts on your team
