The Resilience Playbook

What does it take to walk away from everything the world says will make you happy—career, wealth, marriage, family—and step into a life most people can't understand?

In this episode of The Resilience Playbook, Cole Rodgers sits down with Father Patrick Friend, a Catholic priest, chaplain, and teacher at Catholic High School for boys in Little Rock, Arkansas. This is a conversation about faith, suffering, calling, and what it actually means to surrender your life to something bigger than yourself.

Father Patrick grew up in a faith-filled home where prayer wasn't optional and Mass was non-negotiable. His father showed him what it meant to love sacrificially. His mother showed him what it meant to live faithfully. And his uncle, a priest himself, showed him that joy and holiness could coexist. But even with that foundation, the priesthood wasn't a straight path. It was a calling he put aside in seventh grade when he discovered girls, dated seriously in college, and planned on dental school—until his mother was diagnosed with stage four kidney cancer two weeks after he graduated.

What followed was a crash course in faith under fire. Watching his mother face terminal illness with unshakable peace cracked something open in Patrick. He started going back to Mass. He started praying again. And in the chapel at Catholic High, where he had taken a teaching job to be near his family, God started speaking.

This conversation goes deep. Patrick talks about the moment he heard God's voice while mowing a stranger's lawn, the fear and freedom that came with saying yes to the priesthood, the six years of seminary formation that followed, and the spiritual warfare that shows up the second you start moving toward something holy. He also unpacks some of the hardest questions we face: Why does the good person suffer? What is evil? How do we carry the weight of life without breaking? And why does resilience require more than just grit—it requires grace.

If you've ever wrestled with your faith, questioned your calling, or wondered how to keep going when life doesn't make sense, this episode will meet you where you are.

• Growing up in a home where faith was lived, not just taught
• The moment Patrick knew he wanted to be a priest—at eight years old
• Discovering women in seventh grade and putting the priesthood aside
• His mother's stage four cancer diagnosis and the worst news of his life
• Witnessing faith in the face of suffering and what it taught him about God
• Teaching at Catholic High and returning to prayer during his mother's illness
• The prayer that changed everything: "Lord, I do not want what you want for me—help me to desire your will"
• The moment God spoke while mowing a stranger's lawn
• Understanding evil, sin, and the devil from a theological perspective
• Six years of seminary formation and what it takes to become a priest
• Why the good person suffers—and why suffering is part of the story
• Carrying the weight without breaking: the truth that no man is an island
• The Desert Fathers and the call to get back up until you die
• Spiritual warfare and why the enemy attacks the moment you move toward holiness
• What it means to live a life of surrender, service, and joy

Father Patrick Friend is a Catholic priest serving as chaplain and teacher at Catholic High School for boys in Little Rock, Arkansas. He teaches freshman English, sophomore biology, and junior religion while caring for the spiritual needs of students, faculty, and families. Ordained alongside his younger brother Joe, who is also a priest, Father Patrick is known for his authenticity, humor, and ability to meet people exactly where they are. He is the son of Jerry and the late Betty Friend, nephew of a priest, and a man who said yes to a calling that cost him everything the world values—and gave him everything that matters.

The Resilience Playbook is a long-form conversation series hosted by Cole Rodgers, featuring leaders, athletes, entrepreneurs, and high performers who have faced adversity and come out with something meaningful to share.

These conversations explore resilience, faith, leadership, family, mental health, and the defining moments that shape who we become.

New episodes drop regularly. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don't miss one.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilienceplaybook/
X (Twitter): https://x.com/TheResiliencePB
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-resilience-playbook/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theresilienceplaybook
Website: https://theresilienceplaybook.com/

Listen on audio:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ShZgzjhsPCKzCLzfoWApI
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-resilience-playbook/id1861046313

What does it really cost to chase a dream all the way to the big leagues? And what happens when the game that defined your identity suddenly disappears?

In this episode of The Resilience Playbook, Cole Rodgers sits down with former MLB pitcher Dustin Moseley for an honest conversation about pressure, loss, reinvention, and the kind of resilience that only develops when success stops being the whole story.

Drafted 34th overall by the Cincinnati Reds straight out of high school, Dustin went on to pitch seven seasons in Major League Baseball with the Los Angeles Angels, New York Yankees, and San Diego Padres. From the outside it looked like the dream. Behind the scenes it was injuries, rehab, loneliness, doubt, and the weight of a performance-driven relationship with his father that shaped him long before professional baseball ever did.

This episode of The Resilience Playbook is brought to you by OneAmerica.

OneAmerica helps individuals, families, and businesses protect what matters most through employee benefits, life insurance, and long-term care solutions.

Learn more:
https://www.oneamerica.com

During this conversation, Dustin opens up about losing his father to methamphetamine addiction during his minor league career, enduring multiple surgeries and the mental toll of recovery, learning a career-changing cutter from Billy Connors in Yankees camp, and the unexpected moment on a high school football field that reignited his path forward.

He also shares what it meant to have his identity tied to performance, what repeated setbacks taught him about discipline and gratitude, and how he ultimately built Proformance Sports Academy into a place where young athletes develop not only as players, but as people.

If you are a parent, coach, athlete, or anyone rebuilding life after things didn’t go according to plan, this conversation will resonate.

• Growing up in Texarkana and becoming a first-round MLB draft pick
• Choosing professional baseball over college
• The pressure of performance-based approval
• Losing his father to addiction in 2004
• The emotional toll of injuries and rehabilitation
• Why discipline, accountability, and competition still matter
• Learning a cutter from Billy Connors with the Yankees
• The football field moment that changed his career trajectory
• The full-circle moment in Chattanooga that ended his playing career
• Building Proformance Sports Academy from the ground up
• Why gratitude is the foundation of lasting fulfillment
• What he would tell his younger self today

Dustin Moseley is a former Major League Baseball pitcher who played seven seasons with the Los Angeles Angels, New York Yankees, and San Diego Padres.

Drafted 34th overall by the Cincinnati Reds in 2000, he built a career defined by resilience, command, and competitive grit. After retiring from professional baseball, he founded Proformance Sports Academy in Little Rock, Arkansas, where he coaches youth, collegiate, and professional athletes with a focus on discipline, character, and long-term development.

Instagram: @proformancelr
Website: https://www.proformancelr.com

The Resilience Playbook is a long-form conversation series hosted by Cole Rodgers, featuring leaders, athletes, entrepreneurs, and high performers who have faced adversity and come out with something meaningful to share.

These conversations explore resilience, faith, leadership, family, mental health, and the defining moments that shape who we become.

Follow the show:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilienceplaybook/
X: https://x.com/TheResiliencePB
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-resilience-playbook/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theresilienceplaybook
Website: https://theresilienceplaybook.com

What does it really cost to chase a dream all the way to the big leagues? And what happens when the game that defined your identity suddenly disappears?
In this episode of *The Resilience Playbook,* Cole Rodgers sits down with former MLB pitcher *Dustin Moseley* for an honest conversation about pressure, loss, reinvention, and the kind of resilience that only develops when success stops being the whole story.
Drafted *34th overall by the Cincinnati Reds straight out of high school,* Dustin went on to pitch seven seasons in Major League Baseball with the *Los Angeles Angels, New York Yankees, and San Diego Padres.* From the outside it looked like the dream. Behind the scenes it was injuries, rehab, loneliness, doubt, and the weight of a performance-driven relationship with his father that shaped him long before professional baseball ever did.
SPONSORED BY ONEAMERICAThis episode of *The Resilience Playbook* is brought to you by *OneAmerica.*
OneAmerica helps individuals, families, and businesses protect what matters most through employee benefits, life insurance, and long-term care solutions.
Learn more:
https://www.oneamerica.com/
During this conversation, Dustin opens up about losing his father to methamphetamine addiction during his minor league career, enduring multiple surgeries and the mental toll of recovery, learning a career-changing cutter from Billy Connors in Yankees camp, and the unexpected moment on a high school football field that reignited his path forward.
He also shares what it meant to have his identity tied to performance, what repeated setbacks taught him about discipline and gratitude, and how he ultimately built *Proformance Sports Academy* into a place where young athletes develop not only as players, but as people.
If you are a parent, coach, athlete, or anyone rebuilding life after things didn’t go according to plan, this conversation will resonate.
IN THIS EPISODE• Growing up in Texarkana and becoming a first-round MLB draft pick
• Choosing professional baseball over college
• The pressure of performance-based approval
• Losing his father to addiction in 2004
• The emotional toll of injuries and rehabilitation
• Why discipline, accountability, and competition still matter
• Learning a cutter from Billy Connors with the Yankees
• The football field moment that changed his career trajectory
• The full-circle moment in Chattanooga that ended his playing career
• Building Proformance Sports Academy from the ground up
• Why gratitude is the foundation of lasting fulfillment
• What he would tell his younger self today
ABOUT DUSTIN MOSELEYDustin Moseley is a former Major League Baseball pitcher who played seven seasons with the *Los Angeles Angels, New York Yankees, and San Diego Padres.*
Drafted 34th overall by the Cincinnati Reds in 2000, he built a career defined by resilience, command, and competitive grit. After retiring from professional baseball, he founded *Proformance Sports Academy* in Little Rock, Arkansas, where he coaches youth, collegiate, and professional athletes with a focus on discipline, character, and long-term development.
Instagram: @proformancelr
Website: https://www.proformancelr.com/
ABOUT THE RESILIENCE PLAYBOOK*The Resilience Playbook* is a long-form conversation series hosted by *Cole Rodgers,* featuring leaders, athletes, entrepreneurs, and high performers who have faced adversity and come out with something meaningful to share.
These conversations explore resilience, faith, leadership, family, mental health, and the defining moments that shape who we become.
Follow the show:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilienceplaybook/
X: https://x.com/TheResiliencePB
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-resilience-playbook/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theresilienceplaybook
Website: https://theresilienceplaybook.com/

At 39 years old, Emily Hester found a lump. She wasn't supposed to have her first mammogram until she turned 40—but something felt off. A week after walking into that appointment with her husband Raydodd, Emily was diagnosed with triple-positive breast cancer. What followed wasn't just a medical battle—it was a test of faith, marriage, resilience, and what it actually means to keep moving forward when the unthinkable arrives at your door. This is a conversation about what happens when life splits into before and after. It's about the shock of hearing "you have cancer" while your daughters wait at home. It's about the choice to keep making memories, baking waffles, and celebrating birthdays even when your body is being pumped full of chemotherapy. And it's about a marriage that didn't crumble under the weight of fear—it grew stronger because of what they chose to do with it. Raydodd and Emily don't sugarcoat the hard parts. They talk about anger, fear, bone pain, losing hair, and the moment they had to sit their two young daughters down and tell them Mom is sick. But they also talk about gratitude for the small things, the people who showed up, and the faith that carried them through when nothing else made sense. This isn't a story about surviving cancer—it's a story about how two people chose to battle it together, one day at a time, without losing sight of who they are and what matters most. ⸻ IN THIS EPISODE • The moment Emily found the lump at 39—and the week that changed everything • How Raydodd processed the diagnosis as a husband and father of two young girls • The choice to tell their daughters the truth—and what happened when they walked through the door • Why their 15-year marriage gave them the foundation to face this together • The blessing of early detection, fast appointments, and a friend who made one phone call that saved time Emily didn't have • Starting chemotherapy on January 2nd—and what it actually feels like to lose your hair, your energy, and pieces of yourself • How they kept "business as usual" for their girls—baking cookies, celebrating Christmas, and refusing to let cancer steal their family's joy • The importance of asking for help, building a support system, and why gratitude for the little things became their lifeline • What resilience looks like when you're sitting in an infusion chair, wearing a wig, and still showing up for the people you love • The night Emily passed out and hit her head—and the emergency room visit that changed their treatment approach • Bilateral mastectomy on their 15th wedding anniversary—and the six weeks of recovery that followed • 25 rounds of radiation therapy while holding her breath to protect her heart • The physical therapy, medically-induced menopause, and ongoing treatment that reminds us the fight doesn't end when you ring the bell • How cancer doesn't just change the patient—it transforms the entire family • The decision Raydodd made to stop drinking and face every moment head-on instead of numbing the pain • What it means to choose quality of life over just surviving—and how Emily discovered she can do hard things • A message from both parents to their daughters about love, strength, and why they fought so hard to stay ⸻ ABOUT RAYDODD & EMILY HESTER Raydodd and Emily Hester are dedicated partners in family, community, and service. Emily is a former public school teacher and librarian for the Little Rock School District, passionate about education, literacy, and creativity. As an avid crafter and reader, she fills their home with warmth and unforgettable memories for their two daughters. Raydodd is a commercial loan officer and natural connector of people who thrives on building relationships in both business and life. As Treasurer of the Arkansas Crisis Center, he is committed to supporting mental health resources and giving back to his community. Together, they create a home centered on love, learning, and meaningful connections—always striving to leave a lasting impact on those around them. ⸻ ABOUT THE RESILIENCE PLAYBOOK The Resilience Playbook is a long-form conversation series hosted by Cole Rodgers. Every episode brings you face-to-face with leaders, executives, and high-performers who've been tested—and came out the other side with something worth sharing. No highlight reels without the hard parts. Just honest conversations about resilience, faith, leadership, marriage, fatherhood, mental health, and the moments that shape who we become. New episodes drop regularly. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don't miss a conversation. ⸻ CONNECT WITH THE SHOW Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilienceplaybook/ X (Twitter): https://x.com/TheResiliencePB LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-resilience-playbook/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theresilienceplaybook Listen on audio (when available): Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ShZgzjhsPCKzCLzfoWApI Support the show: https://theresilienceplaybook.com/

If you haven’t watched Part 1 yet, we recommend starting there. Part 1 covers Mark’s upbringing, path into the SEAL Teams, and the experiences that shaped who he became. Part 2 picks up where that foundation cracks—and where the real work begins.

Retired Navy SEAL sniper and bestselling author Mark Greene returns in Part 2 of this conversation to talk about what happens after the identity, structure, and mission are stripped away.

In this half of the conversation, Mark and Cole move beyond origin stories and into the hardest work of Mark’s life—owning the damage, facing the consequences of unresolved pain, and rebuilding from the inside out. This is a conversation about responsibility, faith in practice, and the long, unglamorous road of becoming whole again.

If Part 1 was about how Mark was formed, Part 2 is about how he was broken—and what it actually took to rebuild his life, his relationships, and his leadership.

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⸻

IN THIS EPISODE (PART 2)

• Transitioning out of the SEAL Teams and losing a core identity
• The danger of unmanaged success and emotional avoidance
• How shame compounds when it goes unaddressed
• The moment Mark realized the old way of living was no longer sustainable
• Faith as discipline and daily practice—not a label
• What real ownership looks like without self-destruction
• Rebuilding trust, presence, and integrity one decision at a time

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CHAPTERS (PART 2 – MARK GREENE)

00:00:00 Returning from the break and resetting the conversation
00:04:15 Leaving the Teams and the identity vacuum that followed
00:14:30 When success can no longer hide what’s broken
00:26:40 Avoidance, emotional shutdown, and delayed consequences
00:38:55 The moment running stopped working
00:50:10 Faith as obedience, not comfort
01:01:45 Ownership versus shame: learning the difference
01:13:30 Rebuilding trust through consistency and time
01:24:20 Fatherhood, presence, and new non-negotiables
01:35:10 What Mark would tell the man standing at the edge

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ABOUT MARK GREENE

Mark Greene is a retired Navy SEAL who served on both East and West Coast SEAL Teams, including time as a sniper and instructor, before transitioning into life after the military. He is the bestselling author of UnSEALed: A Navy SEAL’s Guide to Mastering Life’s Transitions, a book that walks readers through the key transition points in life and how to navigate them with resilience, honesty, and courage.

Connect with Mark:
Website: https://www.themarkgreene.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themarkgreene/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/themarkgreene

Get the book UnSEALed:
Amazon (all formats): https://www.amazon.com/Unsealed-Seals-Guide-Mastering-Transitions/dp/B0CN53CS6L

⸻

⸻

ABOUT THE RESILIENCE PLAYBOOK

The Resilience Playbook is a long-form conversation series hosted by Cole Rodgers.

Every episode brings you face-to-face with leaders, executives, and high-performers who’ve been tested — and came out the other side with something worth sharing. No highlight reels without the hard parts. Just honest conversations about resilience, faith, leadership, marriage, fatherhood, mental health, and the moments that shape who we become.

New episodes drop regularly. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don’t miss a conversation.

⸻

⸻

CONNECT WITH THE SHOW

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilienceplaybook/
X (Twitter): https://x.com/TheResiliencePB
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-resilience-playbook/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theresilienceplaybook

Listen on audio:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ShZgzjhsPCKzCLzfoWApI

Support the show and get deeper resources:
https://theresilienceplaybook.com/

Retired Navy SEAL sniper and bestselling author Mark Greene has lived through combat deployments, career transitions, divorce, and rebuilding his life from the ground up. In Part 1 of this conversation, Mark sits down with Cole Rodgers to talk about identity, shame, fatherhood, and what it really takes to start over when the image everyone sees no longer matches the man you are inside. If you look strong on paper but feel the cracks in private, this is the one you watch all the way through. ⸻ IN THIS EPISODE (PART 1) • Mark’s path from sports and college to the SEAL Teams • What it actually means to serve as a Navy SEAL sniper • The hidden cost of high performance and living at full tilt • How his marriage and inner world began to come apart • Why shame keeps men isolated and silent • The moment he finally asked for help and told the truth • How faith, fatherhood, and real accountability became the foundation for rebuilding ⸻ CHAPTERS (PART 1 – MARK GREENE) 00:00:00 Welcome, how Cole and Mark connected, and why Mark is different 00:20:01 Growing up military: Philippines, Ohio, Japan, and Dad’s mysterious job 00:30:01 Losing Dad and the village that raised Mark 00:40:37 Grandfather, Negro Leagues, and falling in love with football 00:50:11 College ball, NCAA realities, and the business of players 01:00:00 Knee injury, loyalty to teammates, and leaving the NFL dream 01:10:16 Discovering the SEAL Teams and a new mission 01:23:30 Boot camp, BUD/S contract, and passing the screening test 01:30:26 First look at BUD/S: the “toughest training” in a tiny compound 01:40:23 Arriving early to BUD/S and learning to ask for help 01:50:02 Hydration punishment, cold water, and the mental games of instructors 02:00:13 Pool comp, the whammy knot, and thinking under pressure 02:10:16 SEAL Qualification Training, Team Five, and being coachable 02:20:00 Officer path, finishing his degree, and the lead-up to a life-changing jump ⸻ ABOUT MARK GREENE Mark Greene is a retired Navy SEAL who served on both East and West Coast SEAL Teams, including time as a sniper and instructor, before transitioning into life after the military. He is the bestselling author of UnSEALed: A Navy SEAL’s Guide to Mastering Life’s Transitions, a book that walks readers through the key transition points in life and how to navigate them with resilience, honesty, and courage. Connect with Mark: Website: https://www.themarkgreene.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themarkgreene/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/themarkgreene Get the book UnSEALed: Amazon (all formats): https://www.amazon.com/Unsealed-Seals-Guide-Mastering-Transitions/dp/B0CN53CS6L ⸻ ABOUT THE RESILIENCE PLAYBOOK The Resilience Playbook is a long-form conversation series hosted by Cole Rodgers. Every episode brings you face-to-face with leaders, executives, and high-performers who’ve been tested — and came out the other side with something worth sharing. No highlight reels without the hard parts. Just honest conversations about resilience, faith, leadership, marriage, fatherhood, mental health, and the moments that shape who we become. New episodes drop regularly. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don’t miss a conversation. ⸻ CONNECT WITH THE SHOW Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilienceplaybook/ X (Twitter): https://x.com/TheResiliencePB LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-resilience-playbook/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theresilienceplaybook Listen on audio: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ShZgzjhsPCKzCLzfoWApI Support the show and get deeper resources: https://theresilienceplaybook.com/

When two people who refuse to settle for the status quo sit down to talk about healthcare, benefits, and an industry overdue for disruption—you get a conversation like this.

Spencer Smith, host of Self-Funded with Spencer and captive expert at Pareto Health, joins Cole Rodgers to explore what it actually takes to build something meaningful—in business, in benefits, and in life. Spencer has become one of the most recognized voices in the employee benefits space not by chasing attention, but by consistently teaching, showing up, and investing more intention than most. His content and approach to the captive model have made him a trusted resource for brokers, consultants, and employers navigating a broken system.

But this conversation goes beyond stop loss and carrier networks. It’s about building a portable brand, creating value that outlives a logo, staying curious, avoiding burnout, and moving forward while the industry stays stuck. Spencer and Cole unpack the erosion of traditional networks, the role of captives in solving real problems, and why consultants often lose business for the same reasons they win it.

They discuss proximity, complacency, and why the next decade belongs to leaders who refuse to treat benefits like a transaction. It’s also about the human side of work—why Spencer built a studio during COVID to preserve his family’s story, why Cole believes resilience is life’s most important attribute, and what happens when you stop chasing volume and start screening for the right people and mindset.

If you’re a consultant, benefits leader, or someone trying to build something that lasts in a fast-changing world—this one’s for you.

⸻
IN THIS EPISODE
• Why Spencer built a podcast studio—and how it became a time capsule
• The moment he realized benefits are the heartbeat of an organization
• How Cole’s career shifted after he started creating content
• Why proximity changes everything
• The four reasons consultants win business (and lose it)
• What a 35% renewal actually reveals—and how to solve it
• The erosion of traditional carrier networks
• How Pareto Health’s captive model creates flexibility
• Why better questions create better results
• The “dammit moment” when leaders realize there’s a better way
• Operational readiness vs financial readiness in self-funding
• How AI will reshape the benefits industry
• Why the soul still matters in an automated world
• The one-phone-call trust question

⸻
ABOUT SPENCER SMITH
Spencer Smith is a captive expert at Pareto Health and host of Self-Funded with Spencer, one of the most recognized podcasts in the employee benefits industry. Known for explaining stop loss, self-funding, and captive insurance with clarity and authenticity, he helps brokers, consultants, and employers navigate a rapidly changing healthcare landscape.

Before Pareto, Spencer worked as a claims adjuster at Liberty Mutual, moved into benefits and finance at Benefit Mall, and later into stop loss sales at Sun Life. His career centers on education, transparency, and solving problems instead of deferring them. His content reflects a core belief: benefits aren’t boring—they’re critical.

Connect with Spencer:
Website: selffundedwithspencer.com
Podcast: Self-Funded with Spencer (Spotify, Apple, YouTube)
LinkedIn: Spencer Smith, CSFS

⸻
ABOUT THE RESILIENCE PLAYBOOK
The Resilience Playbook is a long-form conversation series hosted by Cole Rodgers featuring leaders and high performers who’ve been tested and came out with something worth sharing. No highlight reels without the hard parts—just honest conversations about resilience, faith, leadership, marriage, fatherhood, mental health, and the moments that shape us.

New episodes drop regularly. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don’t miss one.

⸻
CONNECT WITH THE SHOW
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilienceplaybook/
X (Twitter): https://x.com/TheResiliencePB
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-resilience-playbook/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theresilienceplaybook
Listen on audio: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ShZgzjhsPCKzCLzfoWApI
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-resilience-playbook/id1861046313
Support the show: https://theresilienceplaybook.com/

When two people who refuse to settle for the status quo sit down to talk about healthcare, benefits, and an industry overdue for disruption—you get a conversation like this.
Spencer Smith, host of _Self-Funded with Spencer_ and captive expert at Pareto Health, joins Cole Rodgers to explore what it actually takes to build something meaningful—in business, in benefits, and in life. Spencer has become one of the most recognized voices in the employee benefits space not by chasing attention, but by consistently teaching, showing up, and investing more intention than most. His content and approach to the captive model have made him a trusted resource for brokers, consultants, and employers navigating a broken system.
But this conversation goes beyond stop loss and carrier networks. It’s about building a portable brand, creating value that outlives a logo, staying curious, avoiding burnout, and moving forward while the industry stays stuck. Spencer and Cole unpack the erosion of traditional networks, the role of captives in solving real problems, and why consultants often lose business for the same reasons they win it.
They discuss proximity, complacency, and why the next decade belongs to leaders who refuse to treat benefits like a transaction. It’s also about the human side of work—why Spencer built a studio during COVID to preserve his family’s story, why Cole believes resilience is life’s most important attribute, and what happens when you stop chasing volume and start screening for the right people and mindset.
If you’re a consultant, benefits leader, or someone trying to build something that lasts in a fast-changing world—this one’s for you.
⸻
IN THIS EPISODE
• Why Spencer built a podcast studio—and how it became a time capsule
• The moment he realized benefits are the heartbeat of an organization
• How Cole’s career shifted after he started creating content
• Why proximity changes everything
• The four reasons consultants win business (and lose it)
• What a 35% renewal actually reveals—and how to solve it
• The erosion of traditional carrier networks
• How Pareto Health’s captive model creates flexibility
• Why better questions create better results
• The “dammit moment” when leaders realize there’s a better way
• Operational readiness vs financial readiness in self-funding
• How AI will reshape the benefits industry
• Why the soul still matters in an automated world
• The one-phone-call trust question
⸻
ABOUT SPENCER SMITH
Spencer Smith is a captive expert at Pareto Health and host of _Self-Funded with Spencer,_ one of the most recognized podcasts in the employee benefits industry. Known for explaining stop loss, self-funding, and captive insurance with clarity and authenticity, he helps brokers, consultants, and employers navigate a rapidly changing healthcare landscape.
Before Pareto, Spencer worked as a claims adjuster at Liberty Mutual, moved into benefits and finance at Benefit Mall, and later into stop loss sales at Sun Life. His career centers on education, transparency, and solving problems instead of deferring them. His content reflects a core belief: benefits aren’t boring—they’re critical.
Connect with Spencer:
Website: selffundedwithspencer.com
Podcast: Self-Funded with Spencer (Spotify, Apple, YouTube)
LinkedIn: Spencer Smith, CSFS
⸻
ABOUT THE RESILIENCE PLAYBOOK
_The Resilience Playbook_ is a long-form conversation series hosted by Cole Rodgers featuring leaders and high performers who’ve been tested and came out with something worth sharing. No highlight reels without the hard parts—just honest conversations about resilience, faith, leadership, marriage, fatherhood, mental health, and the moments that shape us.
New episodes drop regularly. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don’t miss one.
⸻
CONNECT WITH THE SHOW
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilienceplaybook/
X (Twitter): https://x.com/TheResiliencePB
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-resilience-playbook/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theresilienceplaybook
Listen on audio: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ShZgzjhsPCKzCLzfoWApI
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-resilience-playbook/id1861046313
Support the show: https://theresilienceplaybook.com/

At 39 years old, Emily Hester found a lump. She wasn't supposed to have her first mammogram until she turned 40—but something felt off. A week after walking into that appointment with her husband Raydodd, Emily was diagnosed with triple-positive breast cancer. What followed wasn't just a medical battle—it was a test of faith, marriage, resilience, and what it actually means to keep moving forward when the unthinkable arrives at your door. This is a conversation about what happens when life splits into before and after. It's about the shock of hearing "you have cancer" while your daughters wait at home. It's about the choice to keep making memories, baking waffles, and celebrating birthdays even when your body is being pumped full of chemotherapy. And it's about a marriage that didn't crumble under the weight of fear—it grew stronger because of what they chose to do with it. Raydodd and Emily don't sugarcoat the hard parts. They talk about anger, fear, bone pain, losing hair, and the moment they had to sit their two young daughters down and tell them Mom is sick. But they also talk about gratitude for the small things, the people who showed up, and the faith that carried them through when nothing else made sense. This isn't a story about surviving cancer—it's a story about how two people chose to battle it together, one day at a time, without losing sight of who they are and what matters most. ⸻ IN THIS EPISODE • The moment Emily found the lump at 39—and the week that changed everything • How Raydodd processed the diagnosis as a husband and father of two young girls • The choice to tell their daughters the truth—and what happened when they walked through the door • Why their 15-year marriage gave them the foundation to face this together • The blessing of early detection, fast appointments, and a friend who made one phone call that saved time Emily didn't have • Starting chemotherapy on January 2nd—and what it actually feels like to lose your hair, your energy, and pieces of yourself • How they kept "business as usual" for their girls—baking cookies, celebrating Christmas, and refusing to let cancer steal their family's joy • The importance of asking for help, building a support system, and why gratitude for the little things became their lifeline • What resilience looks like when you're sitting in an infusion chair, wearing a wig, and still showing up for the people you love • The night Emily passed out and hit her head—and the emergency room visit that changed their treatment approach • Bilateral mastectomy on their 15th wedding anniversary—and the six weeks of recovery that followed • 25 rounds of radiation therapy while holding her breath to protect her heart • The physical therapy, medically-induced menopause, and ongoing treatment that reminds us the fight doesn't end when you ring the bell • How cancer doesn't just change the patient—it transforms the entire family • The decision Raydodd made to stop drinking and face every moment head-on instead of numbing the pain • What it means to choose quality of life over just surviving—and how Emily discovered she can do hard things • A message from both parents to their daughters about love, strength, and why they fought so hard to stay ⸻ ABOUT RAYDODD & EMILY HESTER Raydodd and Emily Hester are dedicated partners in family, community, and service. Emily is a former public school teacher and librarian for the Little Rock School District, passionate about education, literacy, and creativity. As an avid crafter and reader, she fills their home with warmth and unforgettable memories for their two daughters. Raydodd is a commercial loan officer and natural connector of people who thrives on building relationships in both business and life. As Treasurer of the Arkansas Crisis Center, he is committed to supporting mental health resources and giving back to his community. Together, they create a home centered on love, learning, and meaningful connections—always striving to leave a lasting impact on those around them. ⸻ ABOUT THE RESILIENCE PLAYBOOK The Resilience Playbook is a long-form conversation series hosted by Cole Rodgers. Every episode brings you face-to-face with leaders, executives, and high-performers who've been tested—and came out the other side with something worth sharing. No highlight reels without the hard parts. Just honest conversations about resilience, faith, leadership, marriage, fatherhood, mental health, and the moments that shape who we become. New episodes drop regularly. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don't miss a conversation. ⸻ CONNECT WITH THE SHOW Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilienceplaybook/ X (Twitter): https://x.com/TheResiliencePB LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-resilience-playbook/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theresilienceplaybook Listen on audio (when available): Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ShZgzjhsPCKzCLzfoWApI Support the show: https://theresilienceplaybook.com/

At 39 years old, Emily Hester found a lump. She wasn't supposed to have her first mammogram until she turned 40—but something felt off. A week after walking into that appointment with her husband Raydodd, Emily was diagnosed with triple-positive breast cancer. What followed wasn't just a medical battle—it was a test of faith, marriage, resilience, and what it actually means to keep moving forward when the unthinkable arrives at your door. This is a conversation about what happens when life splits into before and after. It's about the shock of hearing "you have cancer" while your daughters wait at home. It's about the choice to keep making memories, baking waffles, and celebrating birthdays even when your body is being pumped full of chemotherapy. And it's about a marriage that didn't crumble under the weight of fear—it grew stronger because of what they chose to do with it. Raydodd and Emily don't sugarcoat the hard parts. They talk about anger, fear, bone pain, losing hair, and the moment they had to sit their two young daughters down and tell them Mom is sick. But they also talk about gratitude for the small things, the people who showed up, and the faith that carried them through when nothing else made sense. This isn't a story about surviving cancer—it's a story about how two people chose to battle it together, one day at a time, without losing sight of who they are and what matters most. ⸻ *IN THIS EPISODE* • The moment Emily found the lump at 39—and the week that changed everything • How Raydodd processed the diagnosis as a husband and father of two young girls • The choice to tell their daughters the truth—and what happened when they walked through the door • Why their 15-year marriage gave them the foundation to face this together • The blessing of early detection, fast appointments, and a friend who made one phone call that saved time Emily didn't have • Starting chemotherapy on January 2nd—and what it actually feels like to lose your hair, your energy, and pieces of yourself • How they kept "business as usual" for their girls—baking cookies, celebrating Christmas, and refusing to let cancer steal their family's joy • The importance of asking for help, building a support system, and why gratitude for the little things became their lifeline • What resilience looks like when you're sitting in an infusion chair, wearing a wig, and still showing up for the people you love • The night Emily passed out and hit her head—and the emergency room visit that changed their treatment approach • Bilateral mastectomy on their 15th wedding anniversary—and the six weeks of recovery that followed • 25 rounds of radiation therapy while holding her breath to protect her heart • The physical therapy, medically-induced menopause, and ongoing treatment that reminds us the fight doesn't end when you ring the bell • How cancer doesn't just change the patient—it transforms the entire family • The decision Raydodd made to stop drinking and face every moment head-on instead of numbing the pain • What it means to choose quality of life over just surviving—and how Emily discovered she can do hard things • A message from both parents to their daughters about love, strength, and why they fought so hard to stay ⸻ *ABOUT RAYDODD & EMILY HESTER* Raydodd and Emily Hester are dedicated partners in family, community, and service. Emily is a former public school teacher and librarian for the Little Rock School District, passionate about education, literacy, and creativity. As an avid crafter and reader, she fills their home with warmth and unforgettable memories for their two daughters. Raydodd is a commercial loan officer and natural connector of people who thrives on building relationships in both business and life. As Treasurer of the Arkansas Crisis Center, he is committed to supporting mental health resources and giving back to his community. Together, they create a home centered on love, learning, and meaningful connections—always striving to leave a lasting impact on those around them. ⸻ *ABOUT THE RESILIENCE PLAYBOOK* The Resilience Playbook is a long-form conversation series hosted by Cole Rodgers. Every episode brings you face-to-face with leaders, executives, and high-performers who've been tested—and came out the other side with something worth sharing. No highlight reels without the hard parts. Just honest conversations about resilience, faith, leadership, marriage, fatherhood, mental health, and the moments that shape who we become. New episodes drop regularly. Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don't miss a conversation. ⸻ *CONNECT WITH THE SHOW* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilienceplaybook/ X (Twitter): https://x.com/TheResiliencePB LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-resilience-playbook/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theresilienceplaybook Listen on audio (when available): Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ShZgzjhsPCKzCLzfoWApI Support the show: https://theresilienceplaybook.com/