Welcome back, my lovely readers. If you haven’t already, make sure you read Part 1 of The Island so you can have a better understanding of this piece.
In the first part of this article, I left you at the point in my healing journey where my body began to somatically release deeply embedded wounding that had been stored in my body’s memory in relationship to the fragmented part of my consciousness that had been surviving alone on a deserted island.
The island was my mind’s archetypal environment, created from an identity that crystallized when I was around the age of nine. An identity comprised of a belief system of low self-worth, aloneness, survival fear, and a reward system constructed around independence.
Because some of these identities had already formed before my island solidified, those beliefs were still embedded within that part of my consciousness. This explains why, even though I had done years of therapy, embodiment work, energy work, affirmations, and other healing practices, a deeper part of myself was still running the show in certain aspects of my life—particularly when it came to my core beliefs around worthiness.
This is why it had been so difficult for me to create real change at a core level in the areas of self-worth. (I have healed grief, PTSD, and bipolar 2 symptoms but relationship and abundance have continued to haunt me.) I simply did not have this part of my consciousness within my awareness.
Because of my background in embodiment work, however, I instinctively understood how to begin supporting and integrating this part of myself. So when I felt Island Callie’s exhaustion as she sat beside the tent and the fire, I welcomed the heaviness, the tears, and the shaking in my body. I knew this was my body’s way of releasing decades of memory it had stored—memories that had been frozen in fear, anxiety, and loneliness.
Eventually it subsided after only a few minutes.
I came out of the meditative state and allowed myself to feel the exhaustion and sadness that had processed. I decided to nurture myself with rest and continued listening to the frequencies in bed so I could create safety in real time.
Some time later, I woke up and wrote in my journal about what I had just experienced. Anything and everything that needed to come out, I wrote down. No judgment. No thinking. Just writing.
As I began to write about the experience, it was as if that part of me began writing as well.
Some notes from the experience were:
I grew up on this island all alone. Marooned before I knew how to survive on my own. Am I not worthy of help? Frozen in time. Looking to the horizon, waiting.
My island isn’t very sunny. There is nothing behind me, so I pace side to side. I stand and wait as I look out.
I don’t know how to survive on my own. Will no one help me? The only time I’m rewarded is when I perform on my island. The island is my stage of loneliness. My performance reward is more independence.
I don’t receive more resources, just more performance. Who am I if I’m not doing?
My island is cut off from love, from abundance—only a picture of the horizon. Can no one see me for who I am? Receiving is because of luck. I’ve never earned the right to receive…
Am I worthy of surviving?
After taking the time to write what needed to be processed, I decided to return to that space to check on Island Callie. So I went back into meditation.
I found her a little more rested. I suggested that maybe we should build a dock so people could come to the island. I told her she could have more than just a tent. If she wanted, we could make the island a paradise—build a beautiful place to live and even a hotel where people could come visit.
She had no idea that she could have any of these things, or that she was worthy of them.
So I embraced her and told her she was worthy simply because she exists. That she wasn’t alone anymore. And that I would help her.
And that’s when it came.
Like two hands around my heart wringing out a rag—the years of pain from loneliness, feeling unseen, and feeling unworthy. I don’t think I have cried that hard since my partner passed away ten years ago.
I let everything go.
Everything that was coming up vocally, I expressed.
“I want to survive.”
“I’m ready to be seen.”
“I don’t want to be alone.”
“I’m so tired.”
Whatever needed to be expressed and felt in that moment, I let it be heard through the sobbing.
I met that little girl who had needed to be held all these years—and I held her.
It has been almost nine days since I rescued her.
For the first three to four days, I returned to that space each day to visit. Each time I helped her continue creating a lush, thriving environment. I encouraged her creativity and beauty, and even taught her things she didn’t understand before—like the idea that money is energy, and that she could do anything she wanted to generate it.
Every time I revisit, she is doing better and better and is excited to see me.
Yesterday when I visited, I hadn’t slept well the night before. She told me she was tired and bored and didn’t understand why. That’s when I realized we were finally integrating.
I explained to her that we didn’t sleep well the night before.
And I told her she could take a private jet and go anywhere in the world she wanted. That she didn’t have to stay on the island all the time—even though it had become a beautiful paradise.
What’s important to note is that it wasn’t just her environment that shifted.
The shift in me is the transformation.
The opportunities that have come into my awareness over the past several days are all coming from a place of support. I feel supported, and my decision-making is now coming from a place of wholeness.
Whether it’s in relationships, business, or even where I choose to stay for the next several days, my decisions feel very different than my previous patterns.
That is because I have fundamentally shifted my identity at the core.
From unsupported, unseen, and hyper-independent…
to supported, seen, and knowing when to ask for help.
From overgiving and being unable to receive…
to holding boundaries with ease and receiving even the smallest blessings that I might not have been available for before.
A friend recently called me a “free magnet.”
Throughout this process I have continued returning to my heart-coherence practice to expand my energetic field and deepen my self-love through Oneness, compassion, gratitude, and love.
I had already been practicing this before the island experience—but it now feels amplified.
It also felt like a bit of divine timing that only two days after this deep release and integration, I attended a manifestation soirée. The experience only amplified my energy, my magnetism, and my overall certainty.
What I experienced on the island wasn’t just a powerful meditation.
It was a moment where a fragmented part of my identity finally came into my awareness and was given the safety, compassion, and guidance it needed to return home.
For years I tried to change my beliefs, my habits, and even my energetic state. But until I understood the part of me that had crystallized around the identity of aloneness, the deeper pattern remained.
Meeting her changed everything.
The island showed me something profound: sometimes transformation doesn’t come from forcing ourselves to become someone new.
Sometimes it comes from returning to the parts of ourselves that were left behind—and bringing them back into wholeness.
The work of integration is not about rejecting the identities we formed in survival. It is about meeting them with compassion, understanding the beliefs they carry, and helping them evolve into something new.
My hope in sharing this story is that it might help someone else begin exploring the landscapes within their own consciousness—and reconnect with the parts of themselves that have been waiting to be seen.
For most of my life, I believed I had been left alone on that island.
What I didn’t realize…
is that one day, I would be the one who came back for her.
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