🛠️🥓 Sound the alarm, Sheffield — The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show has arrived in the Steel City, and it’s about to melt your brain faster than a bacon sandwich on a blast furnace! 🥓🛠️

That’s right, Episode 9 is forging ahead in the land of steel, and suspiciously shaped trivia buzzers. The team’s rolled into town with more chaos than a squirrel in a scrapyard, and they’re bringing jokes so bad they’ve been officially banned from three PTA meetings.

🎙️ Leading the charge is Retro Mike Kennedy, whose jokes aren’t just toeing the line — they’ve packed a suitcase, crossed the border, and set up camp miles beyond it. If you’re looking for subtle wit and clever wordplay… you’re in the wrong postcode. Mike’s got punchlines that make your nan clutch her pearls and your dad say, “I taught him that one.”

👹 Joining him, as always, are the terrifying twosome:

• Wanted Joe – Still wanted, still Joe, still wearing shirts that look like optical illusions. He’s got the comedic timing of a broken toaster and the charm of a slightly damp sponge.
• Jenni Wenni – Our incontinent icon of chaos. She’s sassier than a goose in a tutu and scarier than the ugly sisters after a bad perm. She’s brought her knitting, her flask of “quiz fuel,” and a list of grudges dating back to 1874.

🧒 Special Guests Who May or May Not Understand What’s Happening:

• Little Baby Luke – He’s here on a school trip, armed with a packed lunch, a permission slip from his mum, and a vague understanding that he’s supposed to press buttons and shout things. He’s adorable, confused, and currently trying to trade his sandwich for points.
• Tamika – She doesn’t know the rules to life, let alone the quiz. Last seen trying to answer a question about geography with interpretive dance and a kazoo. She’s got energy, glitter, and absolutely no clue what’s going on.

🎮 Brand New Game Alert: DAD JOKES! Yes, we’ve finally done it. We’ve turned the worst part of every barbecue into a competitive sport. Welcome to Dad Jokes! — the game where contestants must deliver the most groan-worthy, eye-roll-inducing, soul-crushing puns imaginable.

Rules? There are none. Scoring? Based on how many people audibly sigh. Winner? The one who makes Retro Mike laugh-snort milk through his nose.

So buckle up, Sheffield — this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a full-blown comedy car crash with glitter, gravy, and groans galore.