🎙️ After 14 gloriously chaotic episodes, the Retro Breakfast Quiz Show team are finally kicking off their shoes (and possibly losing them), pouring themselves a well-earned drink (or three), and basking in the warm, slightly unhinged glow of a season that defied logic, gravity, and good taste.

Retro Mike, our resident musical genius and part-time disco philosopher, has composed an epic medley of tunes that pay tribute to the unforgettable cast of characters who made this season sparkle like a glitter bomb in a bingo hall. From the mysterious and mildly dangerous Wanted Joe, to the ever-effervescent Jenni Wenni, the pint-sized powerhouse Baby Luke, the unflappable Tamika, and of course, everyone's favourite border-hopping heartthrob, Adrien—the illegal immigrant with a heart of gold and a passport made of dreams.

This isn’t just a recap—it’s a full-blown, toe-tapping, laugh-snorting, memory-lane-strolling musical extravaganza. So grab your headphones, your beverage of choice, and maybe a snack shaped like a question mark, and enjoy this silly, sentimental tribute to the season that was.

Because before you know it, we’ll be decking the halls, jingling the bells, and unleashing our Christmas Special—followed by Season Two, which promises to be even more ridiculous, more musical, and possibly more illegal.

Stay tuned. Stay silly. Stay retro.

🎉🦢 Hold onto your toast and tighten your trivia trousers — it’s Part Two of the Final Show of The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show! 🦢🎉

Yes, it’s the end… but not the end. It’s the end of the end, but the second bit of the end of the end. So technically, it’s still not over. But emotionally? We’re already halfway through a tub of ice cream and crying into a glittery napkin.

📍 Broadcasting from an undisclosed location suspiciously close to Big Ben (we’re not saying Retro Mike broke into Parliament, but we’re also not not saying it), the team is wrapping up Season One with more chaos than a squirrel in a disco.

🎙️ At the helm is the icon, the legend, the man who once tried to host a quiz using sock puppets and a kazoo: Retro Mike Kennedy. He’s steering this ship home with the confidence of a man who’s never read the rules and the charm of a vintage toaster. His jokes are still legally questionable, and his intros now require subtitles and a snack break.

🛂 Back from his mysterious immigration saga is Adrien, who spent several weeks being vigorously probed by officers who now follow him on Instagram. He’s returned with a new appreciation for borders, sausages, and personal space. He’s brought back his favourite game: “Is It Legal?” — spoiler: it rarely is.

🧃 Also returning is Luke, who’s once again staying up late — all the way until 4:30pm. He’s got a juice box, a blanket, and the energy of a man who just discovered fizzy cola bottles. He’s ready to party, as long as it doesn’t interfere with nap time or his scheduled tantrum.

🍹 The team have drinks (some fizzy, some suspicious), silly games, and a mission: to relive the greatest hits of Season One.

💥 This is the swan song — and the swan is wearing sequins, holding a cocktail, and doing the Macarena. It’s not just a finale. It’s a glittery, gravy-soaked celebration of everything that made Season One a beautiful mess.

📅 But don’t cry too hard — because Season Two launches in JANUARY 2026! That’s right. More madness. More Sausages. More Adrien. More Retro Mike intros that require a map and a glossary.

So grab your toast, your tissues, and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a breakfast-time fever dream that refuses to end quietly.

🦢🎙️ Grab your toast and tissues, folks — The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show is almost at an end… but not quite! 🎙️🦢

Yes, it’s Part One of the Final Show, which means it’s not the end-end, just the beginning of the end-end, which is technically still mid-end. Confused? Good. That’s the spirit of the show.

📍 Broadcasting from an undisclosed location (possibly a shed, possibly a submarine, possibly Retro Mike’s nan’s conservatory), the team is steering this chaotic ship toward its final destination — with all the grace of a flamingo on rollerblades.

🎙️ At the helm is the icon, the myth, the man who once tried to host a quiz using only interpretive dance: Retro Mike Kennedy. He’s steering the ship home with a microphone in one hand and a lukewarm cup of tea in the other. His intros are longer than a Lord of the Rings director’s cut, and his jokes are so bad they’ve been officially classified as “emotional turbulence.”

🛂 Returning from his mysterious absence is Adrien, who’s spent the last few weeks in immigration being vigorously probed by several very serious officers. He’s back, slightly traumatised, but still obsessed with sausages and dodgy TV shows. He’s brought a new game called “Borderline Banter,” which may or may not be legal.

🧃 Also back is Luke, who’s thrilled to be staying up late — all the way until 4:30pm. He’s got snacks, a blanket, and the energy of a man who just discovered fizzy drinks. He’s ready to party, as long as it doesn’t interfere with nap time.

🍹 The team have drinks (some fizzy, some suspicious), silly games, and a mission: to bring back their favourite moments from the show.

💥 This is the swan song — but the swan is drunk, confused, and wearing glitter. It’s not goodbye, it’s “see you after the nap.” It’s not the end, it’s the beginning of the end of the beginning of the end. Or something.

So grab your drink, your jelly, and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show finale. It’s a glorious, glittery descent into breakfast madness.

💅📻 Watch out, Essex — The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show has landed, and it’s bringing more drama than a reality TV reunion in a chip shop! 📻💅

That’s right, Episode 13 is here, and we’ve rolled into the land of fake tans, fast cars, and now… questionable quiz-based entertainment. If you thought breakfast was meant to be relaxing, think again — this show’s got more twists than a curly fry in a wind tunnel.

🎙️ Leading the madness is Retro Mike Kennedy, the man who absolutely deserves his own spin-off called The Only Way Is Retro. He’s got the charm of a vintage toaster, the style of a man who shops exclusively in charity shops labelled “1983,” and the ability to derail a game faster than you can say “what’s the question again?”

👑 Team Captains Who Are Plotting Their Escape:

• Wanted Joe – Still wanted, still Joe, still wondering if this is a quiz show or a cry for help. He’s got one eye on the scoreboard and the other on the nearest exit.
• Jenni Wenni – Our incontinent queen of sass and slippers. She’s only here because she thought it was a trip to the garden centre. Now she’s counting down the minutes until bingo night at the care home. She’s smiling sweetly, but her eyes say “I will end this with a slipper.”

🧃 Special Guests Who Are Confused and Confusing:

• Luke – He’s surprised Tamika isn’t a man. He’s also surprised by most things, including the concept of time, the rules of the game, and the fact that the buzzers don’t dispense jelly. He’s here, he’s confused, and he’s wearing socks with dinosaurs on them.
• Tamika – She’s surprised Luke is allowed out this late. She’s also surprised by the fact that this show exists. She’s got glitter in her hair, chaos in her soul, and a vague understanding that she’s supposed to be answering questions — but only if they involve sequins or sandwiches.

💥 This episode is less quiz show, more chaotic group therapy. It’s the three-ring circus you didn’t ask for, hosted by a man who thinks “streaming” means watching raindrops on a window while humming 80s jingles.

So grab your glitter, your bingo card, and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a full-blown Essex extravaganza with extra confusion and a side of jelly.

🎉🍨 Hold onto your jelly, Derby — The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show has arrived, and it’s about to turn your town into a full-blown carnival of confusion! 🍨🎉

That’s right, Episode 12 is coming in hot (and slightly sticky), as the gang descends upon the land of railways, roundabouts, and now… radio-based ridiculousness. If you thought breakfast was meant to be calm and civilised, you clearly haven’t met this crew.

🕰️ Leading the madness is Retro Mike Kennedy, the man so out of touch he’s practically a time traveller. He still thinks VHS is cutting-edge, refers to TikTok as “that noisy clock app,” and once tried to fax a meme. But don’t worry — he’s here to host, confuse, and derail every game with the grace of a tap-dancing llama.

🎙️ Backing him up (barely) are the two brave team captains:

• Wanted Joe – Still wanted, still Joe, still wondering how he ended up captaining a team that includes a man who thinks trivia is a form of interpretive dance. He’s got the patience of a saint and the fashion sense of a confused magician.
• Jenni Wenni – Our incontinent queen of passive-aggressive smiles. She’s here to support the madness, knit through the chaos, and occasionally mutter “I need a stronger flask” under her breath. She’s the only person who can endure Retro Mike’s games without blinking — or crying.

🧁 Special Guest: Luke He’s flying solo today. No team loyalty, no strategic plan, just one mission: get the jelly and ice cream. He’s wandered between teams, buzzed in on questions meant for other people, and started a chant of “dessert first!” mid-round. He doesn’t care who wins — as long as he gets his pudding.

👨‍🌾 This episode? It’s the Three Amigos hosted by Chief Don. Retro Mike has declared himself “Chief Don of Derby,” complete with a paper crown, a cape made from tea towels, and a sceptre that’s just a rolled-up TV guide. The others are too tired to argue.

💥 What silliness awaits? We don’t know. We suspect it involves inflatable flamingos, a trivia round about spoons, and Adrien accidentally joining a different podcast halfway through.

So grab your jelly, your ice cream, and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a full-blown breakfast-time fever dream hosted by a man who thinks “streaming” means standing in a river.

⚡️🥓 Northampton, brace yourself — The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show has arrived, and it’s bringing more chaos than a toddler in a trampoline park full of jelly! 🥓⚡️

That’s right, Episode 11 is here, and we’ve officially set up camp in the land of shoes, roundabouts, and now… unfiltered breakfast madness. If you thought this show had standards, you were tragically mistaken. This week’s goal? To crown the Undisputed Reigning Idiot of the Retro Breakfast Quiz Show — and let’s be honest, the competition is fierce.

🎙️ Leading the circus is Retro Mike Kennedy, the self-proclaimed sexiest retro podcaster alive. He’s got the voice of a nation, the swagger of a man who owns three lava lamps, and the ability to turn a trivia question into a full-blown interpretive dance. If charisma were a breakfast item, Retro Mike would be a croissant dipped in glitter.

⚡️ Team Captains Who Signed Up for Friendly Torture:

• Wanted Joe – Still wanted. Still Joe. Still wondering why every game ends with him being mildly electrocuted. He’s here for the glory, the pain, and the free biscuits.
• Jenni Wenni – Our incontinent queen of sass and suffering. She’s been zapped more times than a faulty toaster and still manages to knit, insult, and win rounds with terrifying precision. She’s the only contestant who brings her own taser “just in case.”

🧸 Special Guests Who May Need a Map and a Therapist:

• Luke – He’s not here for the quiz. He’s here for the toy shops. He’s got a list, a backpack full of snacks, and a dream. He’s also somehow managed to trip over every cable in the studio and start a small fire with a Buzz Lightyear figurine.
• Adrien – Our beloved foreign correspondent who has no idea what to say, what not to say, or what language he’s currently speaking. He’s answered questions in French, Spanish, Morse code, and once just made dolphin noises. He’s a wildcard wrapped in confusion.

🏆 The Prize? Forget trophies. Forget glory. This week, they’re all fighting for the title of Undisputed Reigning Idiot of the Retro Breakfast Quiz Show — a crown made of toast, glitter, and poor life choices. It’s the honour no one wants but everyone deserves.

💥 Let’s face it — they’re all idiots. But they’re our idiots. And together, they form the most gloriously dysfunctional breakfast squad in podcast history.

So grab your toast, your taser, and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a full-blown breakfast-time breakdown with extra sparks.

🌞🎙️ Brace yourselves, Brighton — The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show has rolled into town like a glittery sausage on roller skates! 🎙️🌞

That’s right, Episode 10 is here, and we’ve officially hit the seaside. Brighton, the land of pebbles, pier-based chaos, and questionable fashion choices, is now home to the most gloriously unhinged breakfast podcast in existence. If you thought things were weird before… oh honey, you haven’t seen anything yet.

🎙️ Leading the madness is Retro Mike Kennedy, the podcast equivalent of Jesus — if Jesus wore neon socks, told dad jokes, and had a deep emotional connection to cereal mascots. He’s here to spread the gospel of trivia, puns, and games that make absolutely no sense. Miracles? He once turned a stale croissant into a quiz buzzer. Close enough.

👑 Team Captains Who Deserve a Medal (or a nap):

• Wanted Joe – Still wanted, still Joe, still convinced that every game is a trap. He’s got the energy of a man who’s just eaten three jelly babies and a regret sandwich.
• Jenni Wenni – Our incontinent queen of chaos. She’s the only person who can knit a scarf, insult a contestant, and win a round — all at the same time. She’s here to keep the team in line and possibly start a turf war with the Brighton seagulls.

🧸 Special Guests Who Raise More Questions Than Answers:

• Luke – He is definitely not a child. He’s a fully grown man. He pays taxes. He drives a car. He owns a briefcase. And yet… we keep tripping over his toys. He’s got the mind of a champion and the floor of a nursery.
• Adrien – Our foreign correspondent with an obsession for dodgy TV programmes and sausages. He once tried to pitch a show called CSI: Sausage Division. It was rejected. But fear not — sausages make a triumphant return in this episode, and Adrien is already emotionally invested.

🎮 New Game Alert: Fortune Families! Totally original. Absolutely not a rip-off of Family Fortunes. No resemblance whatsoever. In Fortune Families, contestants must guess what 100 imaginary people said in response to completely nonsensical questions.

So grab your sunhat, your sarcasm, and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a full-blown seaside fever dream with glitter, gravy, and games that legally shouldn’t exist.

🛠️🥓 Sound the alarm, Sheffield — The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show has arrived in the Steel City, and it’s about to melt your brain faster than a bacon sandwich on a blast furnace! 🥓🛠️

That’s right, Episode 9 is forging ahead in the land of steel, and suspiciously shaped trivia buzzers. The team’s rolled into town with more chaos than a squirrel in a scrapyard, and they’re bringing jokes so bad they’ve been officially banned from three PTA meetings.

🎙️ Leading the charge is Retro Mike Kennedy, whose jokes aren’t just toeing the line — they’ve packed a suitcase, crossed the border, and set up camp miles beyond it. If you’re looking for subtle wit and clever wordplay… you’re in the wrong postcode. Mike’s got punchlines that make your nan clutch her pearls and your dad say, “I taught him that one.”

👹 Joining him, as always, are the terrifying twosome:

• Wanted Joe – Still wanted, still Joe, still wearing shirts that look like optical illusions. He’s got the comedic timing of a broken toaster and the charm of a slightly damp sponge.
• Jenni Wenni – Our incontinent icon of chaos. She’s sassier than a goose in a tutu and scarier than the ugly sisters after a bad perm. She’s brought her knitting, her flask of “quiz fuel,” and a list of grudges dating back to 1874.

🧒 Special Guests Who May or May Not Understand What’s Happening:

• Little Baby Luke – He’s here on a school trip, armed with a packed lunch, a permission slip from his mum, and a vague understanding that he’s supposed to press buttons and shout things. He’s adorable, confused, and currently trying to trade his sandwich for points.
• Tamika – She doesn’t know the rules to life, let alone the quiz. Last seen trying to answer a question about geography with interpretive dance and a kazoo. She’s got energy, glitter, and absolutely no clue what’s going on.

🎮 Brand New Game Alert: DAD JOKES! Yes, we’ve finally done it. We’ve turned the worst part of every barbecue into a competitive sport. Welcome to Dad Jokes! — the game where contestants must deliver the most groan-worthy, eye-roll-inducing, soul-crushing puns imaginable.

Rules? There are none. Scoring? Based on how many people audibly sigh. Winner? The one who makes Retro Mike laugh-snort milk through his nose.

So buckle up, Sheffield — this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a full-blown comedy car crash with glitter, gravy, and groans galore.

🌊⚓️ Ahoy there, South Hampton! The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show has gone full nautical and the ship of sanity has officially sailed! ⚓️🌊

That’s right — Episode 8 is dropping anchor in the seaside city of South Hampton, and things are about to get wetter, weirder, and wildly more ridiculous than ever before. If you thought breakfast and boats don’t mix, just wait until you hear our attempt at Battleships… on the radio. Spoiler: it’s mostly shouting and confusion.

🎙️ At the helm of this floating circus is none other than Retro Mike Kennedy — the UK’s answer to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Mike’s got the charisma of a cruise director and the energy of a man who’s had three espressos and a bowl of Frosties.

🛟 Joining him on this voyage of verbal chaos:

• Wanted Joe – Still wanted, still Joe, still convinced that “nautical” means wearing socks with anchors on them. He’s brought his worst puns, his loudest shirts, and a compass that only points to disappointment.
• Jenni Wenni – Our incontinent queen of the high seas. She’s packed her waterproof knitting, her flask of “sea medicine” (it’s just gin), and a life jacket made entirely of bubble wrap. She’s ready to sink ships and spirits alike.

🍼 Special Guests Who Shouldn’t Be Near Open Water:

• Little Baby Luke – He’s back, he’s adorable, and he has a strict bedtime of 6pm. Which is unfortunate, because the show starts at 6:01. He’s currently napping in a lifeboat and occasionally waking up to shout “banana!” into the mic.
• Adrien – Our favourite foreign correspondent, now visibly uncomfortable being this close to immigration and a customs office. He’s trying to play along but keeps mistaking “port” for wine and “stern” for an insult.

🚢 This Episode’s Highlight: A Radio Version of Battleships!

Yes, we’re attempting the classic naval strategy game… on the radio. It’s mostly:

• People yelling “B7!” with no idea what it means
• Jenni Wenni accusing Luke of cheating
• Adrien trying to sink a ship using interpretive dance
• Retro Mike narrating the whole thing like it’s Master and Commander meets Bake Off

🧂 Who comes up with this rubbish? We don’t know. We suspect it’s a committee made entirely of sleep-deprived toddlers and one rogue seagull. But we salute them.

So grab your life vest and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a full-blown maritime meltdown with extra jam.

🚨🛳️ Abandon ship, Hull! The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show is sailing in like a gravy tsunami of pure nonsense! 🛳️🚨

That’s right — Episode 7 is upon us and Hull may never be the same again. Lock up your breakfast cereals and hide your punchlines, because the crew has arrived with jokes so dreadful they’ve been declared a public menace.

🎙️ Hosting the chaos, as always, is the unflappable, over-talkative Retro Mike Kennedy — whose intros are so long they come with a sequel. He’ll welcome you to the madness while name-dropping every obscure breakfast item ever invented. Oat-infused trivia? Bacon-based banter? Mike's got it all — plus seventeen paragraphs of unnecessary dramatic flair.

🎭 Back for more tomfoolery:

• Wanted Joe – He’s still wanted. He’s still Joe. And he’s still convinced a pun is a form of poetry. He’ll be bringing the eye-rolls and the accidental innuendos, often at the exact moment you try to take a sip of tea.
• Jenni Wenni – The bingo-loving gran with a handbag full of sass and potentially illegal pick ‘n’ mix. She’s armed with wool, wit, and the ability to outwit younger players while simultaneously knitting them tiny humiliation scarves.

🌍 Special Guests Making a Glorious Return:

• Adrien, our favourite foreign correspondent – He still doesn’t know what constitutes “a quiz,” but he’s trying his best using interpretive eyebrow raises and vibes alone. Fluent in five languages, none of which explain why he just buzzed in to a question about jam.

🍼 And of course: Little Baby Luke – Adorable, chaotic, and far too awake for his age bracket. He's out way past bedtime, wired on juice boxes, and convinced the quiz buzzer makes it rain sweets. When he’s not answering with “banana,” he’s starting impromptu singalongs and hiding in a cereal box.

🎮 Expect one full hour of:

• Games so silly they make charades look like brain surgery
• Trivia questions so obscure even Google’s confused
• Puns that actively lower your IQ
• Baby Luke pressing every button, including one that turns off the lights

So, Hull — hold tight to your teacups and brace for brain-melting banter and buttered-up buffoonery. This isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a full-blown early morning identity crisis with jingles.