The Rob Skinner Podcast: Helping You Make This Life Count

You're Not Weak for Struggling | Before You Quit, Day 14

Have you ever felt embarrassed because you're struggling with your faith?

Maybe you used to feel spiritually strong.

You were passionate about God.

You were growing.

You were helping others become Christians.

But now you're struggling, and people are worried about you.

You feel weak.

Ashamed.

And maybe even like a failure.

What if your struggle isn't proof that you're failing, but part of how God is helping you grow?

In Day 14 of Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done, Rob Skinner reminds us that spiritual struggles are not unusual—and that some of the greatest lessons God teaches us come through seasons of weakness.

When the Strong Christian Becomes the Struggling Christian

After graduating from UC Berkeley, Rob was hired as a part-time campus intern.

During his first semester leading a Bible discussion group in the dorms, he baptized five men.

He felt encouraged, successful, and confident.

But the following semester was completely different.

He struggled spiritually.

And suddenly, he was the person everyone was worried about.

People offered sympathetic smiles.

They encouraged him.

They prayed for him.

And Rob hated it.

He didn't want to be seen as weak or needy.

But God was teaching him an important lesson about pride.

King Nebuchadnezzar learned something similar:

"Those who walk in pride he is able to humble." — Daniel 4:37

Rob realized that if he wanted to be useful to God over the long term, he needed to let go of his pride and learn to rely on God's power and grace.

Struggling With Your Faith Is Normal

Rob reminds us that experiencing spiritual difficulty doesn't make you unusual, defective, or a bad Christian.

You aren't the only person who's ever wrestled with God.

You aren't the only person who's experienced fear, discouragement, or weakness.

And you aren't the only person who has felt embarrassed about needing help.

Sometimes our struggles become God's classroom for spiritual growth.

David's Journey Wasn't Easy Either

Think about David.

He was anointed to become king.

He defeated Goliath.

His future seemed full of promise.

But instead of moving smoothly into his new role, he spent years fleeing from Saul.

He lived in the wilderness.

He faced danger, rejection, loneliness, and fear.

He lost possessions, experienced devastating setbacks, and even faced discontent among his own men.

Yet those painful experiences helped shape the man who would write some of the most comforting passages in Scripture.

David knew what it meant to feel weak.

He prayed:

"I am poor and needy; come quickly to me, O God." — Psalm 70:5

He admitted:

"My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen on me." — Psalm 55:4

And he cried out:

"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted." — Psalm 25:16

These weren't the words of someone who had everything together.

They were the honest prayers of a man learning to depend on God.

Your Struggle Can Become Someone Else's Encouragement

The Psalms have encouraged believers for generations because David didn't hide his fear, loneliness, and pain.

He gave words to emotions that many people struggle to express.

His difficult seasons became a source of encouragement for others.

What if God can use your struggles to develop humility, compassion, perseverance, and a deeper dependence on him?

What if the lessons you're learning today will eventually help someone else?

Don't Drop Out of God's School of Grace

One of the biggest mistakes we can make is believing that spiritual struggles should never happen.

"What's wrong with me?"

"Why am I having such a hard time?"

"Shouldn't I be stronger than this?"

But suffering and difficulty can become opportunities for spiritual growth.

You're not a failure because you're struggling.

You're not a misfit because you need help.

You're not a bad Christian because your faith is being tested.

You're a son or daughter of God going through his school of grace.

And Rob has one request:

"Please don't drop out now."

This is Day 14 of Rob Skinner's Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done, a series created to encourage Christians who are discouraged, struggling spiritually, or considering walking away from God and the fellowship.

If you know someone who feels weak, ashamed, or discouraged in their relationship with God, share this episode with them.

Learn more about Rob Skinner and his books at RobSkinner.com.

Rob's goal is to inspire you to live a no-regrets life, make this life count, and multiply disciples, leaders, and churches.

You're Growing More Than You Think | Before You Quit, Day 13

Have you ever wondered why you're not further along in your relationship with God?

You've been a Christian for years.

You know what the Bible teaches.

You've set spiritual goals.

You've tried to change.

But you're still struggling with some of the same weaknesses, habits, and temptations.

And you start asking yourself:

"Why am I not growing as I should?"

In Day 13 of Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done, Rob Skinner addresses the discouragement that comes when our spiritual growth doesn't match our expectations.

Rob loves setting goals. Whether it's health, fitness, spirituality, evangelism, or finances, he's always challenging himself to grow.

But he admits that most of the time, he doesn't reach those goals by the deadlines he sets.

Even after decades of following Jesus, Rob sometimes feels he should be much further along spiritually.

He once set a goal to imitate the Apostle Paul as Paul imitated Christ. He was also inspired by Gandhi's discipline and self-denial.

Yet he still feels far from those examples.

If you've ever felt disappointed by your spiritual progress, you're not alone.

1. Spiritual Growth Isn't Linear

When we first become Christians, some changes happen quickly.

But the deeper work of transformation—what Christians call sanctification—often takes much longer.

We experience seasons of progress.

Then setbacks.

Sometimes we slip into old habits or struggle with things we thought we'd overcome.

That doesn't automatically mean you're a bad Christian.

Growth doesn't happen in a perfectly straight line.

A setback doesn't erase every step forward.

2. Some Growth Happens Beneath the Surface

Rob describes looking out his Boston apartment window during a bitterly cold winter.

Snow covered Boston Common.

The trees were bare.

Everything looked lifeless.

But beneath the frozen ground, something was still happening.

Roots were expanding.

Sap was slowly rising.

Seeds were preparing for spring.

The growth was real, even though nobody could see it.

Our spiritual lives can be the same way.

Sometimes we feel like nothing is changing.

But God may be working beneath the surface, developing qualities and preparing growth that won't become visible until later.

Rob offers this reminder:

"If you quit before the snow melts, you'll never see the progress made over the winter."

Don't mistake a difficult season for a wasted season.

3. Stop Beating Yourself Up

Another obstacle to growth is the way we judge ourselves.

"Why am I not further along?"

"What's wrong with me?"

"If I were really a Christian, I wouldn't still struggle with this."

Rob reminds us of Paul's words:

"I do not even judge myself." — 1 Corinthians 4:3

Constant guilt, shame, and self-condemnation don't produce the spiritual progress we want.

You can take responsibility for your growth without continually attacking yourself.

Beating yourself up isn't your job.

4. Adjust Your Expectations

God knows we're imperfect.

He knows our weaknesses.

He knows the work of changing imperfect people takes time.

That doesn't mean we stop trying or stop taking responsibility.

It means we recognize that lasting transformation may take longer than we expected.

Instead of measuring your entire Christian life against an impossible deadline, focus on the next faithful step.

5. Keep Taking One Step at a Time

Rob shares a lesson he learned while hiking in the mountains near Tucson, Arizona.

Looking up at a massive rock formation near Mount Lemmon, the climb seemed overwhelming.

But instead of focusing on how far he had to go, Rob put his head down and walked.

Five minutes.

Ten minutes.

One step at a time.

Whenever he looked up, he was surprised by how much progress he'd made.

The same principle applies to our relationship with God.

You don't have to become the Christian you hope to be overnight.

You have to keep moving forward.

Keep praying.

Keep learning.

Keep repenting.

Keep growing.

And don't give up because you haven't reached the summit yet.

Before You Quit, Remember This

You may be doing better than you think.

Your growth may be happening where you can't see it.

Your setbacks don't necessarily erase your progress.

And the slow pace of transformation doesn't mean God has stopped working.

Rob reminds us:

"You'll never see growth if you pull yourself out by the roots."

So hang in there.

Go easy on yourself.

Adjust your expectations.

And keep taking one step at a time.

This is Day 13 of Rob Skinner's Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done, a series written to encourage Christians who feel discouraged, spiritually stuck, or tempted to walk away.

If you know someone who's frustrated by their lack of spiritual progress, share this episode with them.

Learn more about Rob Skinner and his books at RobSkinner.com.

Are You Faking Your Faith? It's Time to Take Off the Mask | Before You Quit #12

Have you ever looked like a strong Christian on the outside while feeling spiritually empty on the inside?

You still attend church.

You smile.

You give hugs.

You say the right things.

People may even look up to you as a mature, faithful disciple.

But deep down, something has changed.

Your prayers have become inconsistent. You've stopped spending time in God's Word. You're struggling with sin, carrying guilt, or feeling ashamed of what's happening in your life.

And instead of telling someone, you keep pretending everything is fine.

You're wearing a mask.

In Day 12 of Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done, Rob Skinner addresses a painful reality: sometimes Christians don't walk away from God because they stopped believing. Sometimes they walk away because they're exhausted from pretending.

When Christianity Becomes a Performance

The word hypocrite originally referred to an actor or stage performer who wore a mask to play a role.

Today, we use it to describe someone who pretends to have values they aren't genuinely living.

Rob remembers seeking God at 20 years old and knowing one thing for certain:

He didn't want to fake Christianity.

He wanted to follow Jesus every day of the week, not just on Sundays.

Thankfully, he met Christians who were sincere. They weren't perfect, but they were real.

Their example helped him make the decision to go all in.

But even sincere Christians can gradually fall into the trap of spiritual performance.

How the Mask Goes On

It doesn't always happen overnight.

You get busy.

You miss reading your Bible for a few weeks.

You fall into sin.

You feel embarrassed and ashamed.

Your guilt makes it harder to pray.

Then you begin to believe you can't talk to anyone because you're a leader, you've been a Christian for years, or everyone else seems too busy.

So you rely on habit.

You keep showing up.

You smile when you're supposed to smile.

You say things that used to reflect your spiritual life, even though they no longer feel genuine.

Eventually, you're playing the part of a strong Christian while struggling underneath.

And the longer it continues, the harder it becomes to admit the truth.

Your Guilt May Be a Sign of Spiritual Life

Here's the encouragement Rob offers:

If you feel troubled about your spiritual condition, that may actually be a good sign.

It means your conscience is still responding.

The Holy Spirit is still working to reveal your need for God, repentance, and forgiveness.

Jesus said:

"When he comes, he will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment." — John 16:8

That discomfort isn't necessarily a reason to give up.

It may be the warning that helps you turn around.

You are not too far gone.

Don't Disappear. Come Into the Light.

When Christians feel ashamed, they may begin withdrawing from relationships, avoiding meaningful conversations, or even leaving their church.

But walking away while hiding your struggles can deepen your isolation.

Rob challenges listeners to do something different.

Take off the mask.

Find someone you trust.

Tell them what's really happening.

Don't minimize your struggles or hide behind jokes.

Be direct:

"I'm not doing well, and I need someone to talk about it."

Allow someone to listen, encourage you, pray with you, and help you take steps toward spiritual renewal.

You may be surprised by the kindness and understanding you receive.

Other Christians have struggles too.

You don't have to maintain an image of perfection to ask for help.

Before You Quit, Get Real

If you're exhausted from pretending, don't assume leaving God or the fellowship is your only option.

There's another way forward.

Honesty.

Repentance.

Vulnerability.

Connection.

And the courage to ask for help.

Don't walk away. Talk to someone today.

This is Day 12 of Rob Skinner's Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done, a series created to encourage Christians who are struggling with their faith or considering walking away.

If you know someone who feels spiritually exhausted, ashamed, isolated, or trapped behind a Christian image, share this episode with them.

Learn more about Rob Skinner and his books at RobSkinner.com.

Rob's goal is to inspire you to live a no-regrets life, make this life count, and multiply disciples, leaders, and churches.

Feeling Lonely at Church? Don't Walk Away Yet | Before You Quit #11

Have you ever stood in a crowded church and felt completely alone?

Everyone else seems to have their people.

Their conversations.

Their plans.

Their friend group.

Meanwhile, you're standing there wondering:

"Does anyone even see me?"

In Day 11 of Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done, Rob Skinner addresses one of the biggest reasons people quietly consider walking away from church:

Loneliness and isolation.

Last summer, Rob and Pam met a young woman who had recently moved to Boston and joined the church.

When Rob asked how she was doing, her smile disappeared.

She admitted:

"It's really hard to make friends. Everybody already has their own friends. Last night I stayed at home because everyone already had plans."

Rob and Pam understood. They had recently moved to Boston themselves and had noticed how busy people were.

But they had each other.

This young woman felt alone.

Unfortunately, her experience isn't unusual.

Lonely in a Crowded Church

Maybe you've experienced it too.

You don't have close friends.

You feel awkward or out of place.

Every conversation seems superficial.

People forget your name.

You look around and see little circles of people smiling and laughing—but nobody invites you in.

You wait for someone to initiate.

People walk past.

And eventually you begin to feel like a ghost in the crowd.

Unseen.

Unnoticed.

Unwanted.

David wrote:

"I looked for sympathy, but there was none, for comforters, but I found none." — Psalm 69:20

What Happens Inside Our Minds

When loneliness lasts long enough, our thinking can begin to change.

First, we turn inward:

What's wrong with me?

Am I too old?

Too young?

Too quiet?

Too awkward?

Is it my appearance?

My accent?

My race?

Then we try to talk ourselves out of our feelings:

"This shouldn't bother me."

"I shouldn't be this insecure."

"I don't want to bother anybody."

"They're too busy for me."

"They already have their friends."

Then our thinking can shift toward blame:

"This church isn't loving."

"What's wrong with these people?"

"That leader walked right past me."

And finally, we may start creating tests:

"If nobody talks to me today, I'm not coming back."

"If nobody sits next to me, this must be the wrong church."

"If nobody initiates with me, I'm not initiating with them."

At that point, we may be looking for evidence to justify a decision we've already begun making.

You Are Not Alone

If you're experiencing these thoughts or emotions, hear this:

You are not alone.

You aren't strange.

You aren't the only Christian who's felt this way.

And even when you feel unseen by everybody around you, God hasn't lost sight of you.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." — Psalm 34:18

Relationships Take Time

One of the most difficult seasons can come when you're moving from one church to another.

In your old church, people knew you.

They knew your history.

Your personality.

Your struggles.

Your stories.

Those relationships may have taken years to build.

Then you enter a new church and unconsciously compare brand-new relationships with friendships that took years to develop.

Of course there's a difference.

When Rob and Pam moved to Tokyo, Rob told the church pastor how isolated he felt.

The pastor told him:

"Hang in there. It just takes a little time to build friendships and team spirit."

Rob didn't particularly like the answer.

But the pastor was right.

Over the next ten years, Rob and Pam developed deep and lasting relationships.

Sometimes You Have to Go First

Rob offers one final challenge:

Go first.

Smile first.

Say hello first.

Wave first.

Give the hug first.

Show up first.

Volunteer first.

Passivity is the poison pill for relationships.

If you walk into church waiting to see whether other people will disappoint you, you'll probably find the evidence you're looking for.

Instead, be brave.

Walk in with a smile.

Offer a handshake.

Join the conversation circle.

Listen.

Share your story.

Ask somebody to coffee.

It may feel awkward.

That's okay.

Don't let Satan use loneliness to pull you away from the very relationships you need.

And What Happened to That Young Woman?

About a year later, Rob saw the young woman who had once told him how difficult it was to make friends in Boston.

He asked how she was doing.

This time, she beamed.

She told him she loved it and felt really close to people.

Rob's response says it all:

"I was so happy she didn't go."

If you're lonely at church right now, don't assume how you feel today is how you'll always feel.

Give relationships time.

Ask God for courage.

And instead of waiting for everyone else to go first...

Be the brave one.

This is Day 11 of Rob Skinner's Before You Quit series, based on his book Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done.

If you know someone who's lonely, isolated, new to a church, or wondering whether they belong, send them this episode.

Rob's goal is to inspire you to live a no-regrets life, make this life count, and multiply disciples, leaders, and churches.

Retirement, Faith, and 2,200 Miles: Phil and Robbyn's Appalachian Trail Adventure

What would you do if you retired and suddenly had the freedom to pursue a really big dream?

Most people picture retirement as a time to slow down, relax, and take it easy.

Not Phil and Robbyn Paradis.

After more than four decades of following Jesus, Phil retired from his career in civil engineering and decided to take on one of America's most demanding hiking adventures: the nearly 2,200-mile Appalachian Trail.

There was just one problem.

He had never backpacked before.

And he was already dealing with serious foot pain.

Instead of abandoning the dream, Phil and Robbyn began planning an adventure that would take them through 14 states, require months of preparation, and challenge them physically, emotionally, spiritually, and as a married couple.

In this episode of the Rob Skinner Podcast, Rob sits down with Phil and Robbyn to discover what inspired their journey, how they persevered through the hardest moments, and what the experience taught them about faith, marriage, friendship, and making this life count.

From Retirement to the Appalachian Trail

Phil spent decades working as a civil engineer, specializing in stormwater management. But as retirement approached, he began wondering what he would do with the next chapter of his life.

Then he heard about a coworker planning to hike the Appalachian Trail.

The idea captured his imagination.

After researching the trail, Phil began to believe he could do it himself.

Robbyn initially wondered what she would do while her husband was away hiking for months.

But together, they developed a different plan.

She would travel alongside the trail in an RV, providing transportation, meals, supplies, encouragement, and logistical support.

Their adventure became a shared mission.

The Adventure Was Harder Than Expected

The Appalachian Trail stretches roughly 2,200 miles from Georgia to Maine.

Phil began the journey with plantar fasciitis, and the physical challenges continued throughout the trip.

His feet swelled so much that he eventually went from wearing size 10½ shoes to size 12½.

He struggled with painful knees, exhaustion, difficult mountain terrain, and the mental challenge of getting up each morning to hike again.

Meanwhile, Robbyn was driving thousands of miles, coordinating pickups and drop-offs, preparing meals, maintaining the truck and RV, and finding solutions to unexpected problems.

The truck accumulated approximately 17,000 miles over five months.

This wasn't simply a hiking trip.

It was a test of endurance, preparation, teamwork, and perseverance.

Sometimes You Just Have to Walk the First Mile

One of Phil's greatest challenges came toward the end of the journey.

He was exhausted.

His body hurt.

He no longer felt motivated to hike.

But he discovered something important.

He didn't have to feel motivated to complete the entire day.

He just had to get started.

Sometimes getting through the first mile was enough to keep going.

His daughter's encouragement, family visits, and the support of friends helped him continue.

How the Journey Strengthened Their Marriage

Phil and Robbyn have been married since 1988.

They openly discuss seasons when communication was difficult and how this adventure forced them to work together differently.

Phil learned to receive help rather than doing everything himself.

Robbyn discovered new confidence in her ability to solve problems, manage difficult situations, and support her husband.

They learned to communicate more effectively, understand each other's needs, and focus on solving the problem directly in front of them.

Finding God Along the Trail

For Phil, long hours in the wilderness created opportunities for prayer, reflection, and a renewed appreciation for God's creation.

He listened to Scripture, Christian books, podcasts, and worship music.

But some of his favorite moments came when he turned everything off and simply walked.

Robbyn also experienced God's care in unexpected ways.

A conversation with an old friend helped her recognize how God had been providing for them throughout the journey—even when she had been too overwhelmed to notice.

More Than 40 Years of Following Jesus

Phil and Robbyn also share how they became Christians in college in the early 1980s and what has helped them remain faithful through decades of marriage, raising children, serving the church, and navigating life's challenges.

Their advice is practical:

Find what you're good at.

Look for opportunities to serve.

Build lasting friendships.

Be committed even when you don't feel like it.

And don't assume your greatest opportunities are already behind you.

Whether you're 25, 45, or 65, you can still dream, grow, serve, and make this life count.

In This Episode

• How Phil and Robbyn became Christians and met in college

• What helped them remain faithful for more than four decades

• Why Phil chose the Appalachian Trail after retirement

• How Robbyn turned his dream into an adventure they could share

• The physical and mental challenges of hiking nearly 2,200 miles

• Why encouragement from family made such a difference

• The behind-the-scenes work of supporting a long-distance hiker

• What the experience taught them about marriage and communication

• How they experienced God through nature and unexpected blessings

• Their advice for Christians who want to make their lives count

Don't retire from dreaming, growing, serving, or following Jesus.

If this episode encouraged you, share it with someone who needs a reminder that the next chapter of life can still be full of purpose and adventure.

Learn more about Rob Skinner and his books at RobSkinner.com.

Rob's goal is to inspire you to live a no-regrets life, make this life count, and multiply disciples, leaders, and churches.

🙏 Support the Podcast

If this episode challenged or encouraged you:

• Share it with someone you care about
• Buy and leave a review on one of my books on Amazon
• Donate here.
• Subscribe for more faith-building content

When God Doesn't Come Through the Way You Hoped | Before You Quit #10

What do you do when you've prayed for something good—and God doesn't come through the way you hoped?

In Day 10 of Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done, Rob Skinner tackles one of the most painful sources of spiritual discouragement:

Disappointment with God.

When COVID hit, Rob's church in Tucson was averaging around 200 people on Sundays.

Like churches around the world, they temporarily moved online.

When they finally gathered again, a little more than 100 people remained.

Rob wondered:

Where did everybody go?

What happened to the college students?

Why weren't people coming back?

He prayed.

He begged God to rebuild the church.

He took long prayer walks through the streets and alleys of Tucson, pleading:

"God, help me. Please help your church. Please just throw me a bone here. I'm struggling. I don't know what to do."

But several years passed without the dramatic resurgence Rob had hoped for.

And that's hard.

Especially when what you're praying for seems completely consistent with God's will.

What About God's Promises?

Jesus said:

"You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." — John 14:14

Sometimes that can sound like a blank check.

Ask.

Believe.

And God will provide.

We can understand why God might not answer a prayer to win a billion-dollar lottery.

But what about prayers for things that seem good?

A job.

Money for missions.

Enough money to pay the rent.

Healing for someone with cancer or another illness.

Someone you love returning to Jesus.

Unity in your small group.

A church that is strong, growing and healthy.

What do you do when you pray for something that seems aligned with God's will—and the answer still doesn't come?

Rob admits that he doesn't have an easy answer.

But he shares two thoughts that have helped him navigate the disappointment.

1. God May Replace What You Want With Something Better

Early in Rob's Christian life, he was deeply in love with a woman he met in the campus ministry at UC Berkeley.

He was serious about the relationship and was close to proposing.

But Rob was struggling spiritually, and those struggles were affecting their relationship.

After seeking advice, he broke off the relationship for her sake until he could get his relationship with God back on track.

His plan seemed simple:

Get right with God.

Then marry this woman.

But after Rob repented and renewed his relationship with Christ, something unexpected happened.

His feelings changed.

He felt lost.

He couldn't imagine anyone better.

He believed he had lost something irreplaceable.

Night after night, Rob walked through the streets of Berkeley praying for God's guidance.

But God had another plan.

About a year after the breakup, Rob's future wife, Pam, flew into the Bay Area from Cairo, Egypt.

They began dating.

A year later, they were married.

What once felt like an irreplaceable loss eventually looked very different.

Sometimes God reserves the right to replace what we desperately want with something better.

2. Don't Forget All the Times God Said Yes

Rob's second observation comes from looking back over his life.

The number of times God has said "no" or "wait" is small compared with the number of times God has given him exactly what he asked for.

His life.

His family.

His missionary journeys.

And countless other blessings.

In fact, Rob believes God's generosity may be part of the reason his "no" can hurt so badly.

We become accustomed to the generosity of a loving Father.

So when he doesn't give us what we desperately want, it can be shocking.

But God reserves the right to say no.

Not because he has stopped loving us.

But because he is guided by wisdom we don't always understand.

Rob doesn't pretend to like it.

But accepting God's right to say no is part of accepting him as both Savior and Lord.

Before You Quit Because God Said No...

Remember two things:

God may have something better.

And:

Remember all the times he has already said yes.

A disappointing answer to prayer doesn't erase a lifetime of God's faithfulness.

If you're considering walking away because God didn't answer the way you hoped, don't let one painful "no" make you forget all the ways he has already loved, provided for and blessed you.

Before you quit, look back.

Remember his generosity.

And leave room for the possibility that God's story isn't finished yet.

This is Day 10 of Rob Skinner's Before You Quit series, based on his new book, Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done.

If you know someone who's discouraged, disappointed with God or struggling with an unanswered prayer, share this episode with them.

Rob's goal is to inspire you to live a no-regrets life, make this life count, and multiply disciples, leaders, and churches.

You've Got One Job: Stay Connected to Jesus

There are a thousand things competing for your attention every day.

Your career.

Your marriage.

Your kids.

Your health.

Your finances.

Your goals.

Your phone.

Even your ministry.

But according to Jesus, there's one thing you absolutely cannot neglect:

Your connection with him.

In John 15, Jesus gives one of the simplest and most powerful pictures of the Christian life:

"I am the vine; you are the branches."

In this episode of the Rob Skinner Podcast, Rob explores why successful people can be especially vulnerable to spiritual self-reliance, why God sometimes prunes the people he loves, and how someone can look spiritually alive on the outside while slowly drying up inside.

And it all comes down to one simple phrase:

You've got one job: remain.

Are You Plugged In?

Rob rents out his former home in Tucson, Arizona. Every so often, a guest sends him a message:

"The hot tub isn't working."

"The jets won't turn on."

"It's not getting hot."

"We've pushed every button."

Rob usually responds with one question:

"Is it plugged in?"

A few minutes of silence.

Then:

"Never mind."

Nothing was wrong with the hot tub.

Nothing was wrong with the heater.

Nothing was wrong with the jets.

It simply wasn't connected to its source of power.

And that can describe our spiritual lives.

We push buttons.

We try harder.

Work more.

Make more money.

Improve our marriages.

Fix our kids.

Grow our ministries.

Accomplish another goal.

But Jesus asks a more fundamental question:

Are you connected to me?

You can be incredibly busy and spiritually disconnected.

You can even be busy doing things for Jesus while becoming disconnected from Jesus.

1. Let the Gardener Prune You

Jesus says:

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener." — John 15:1

Then he says something surprising:

Every branch that bears fruit, God prunes so that it can become even more fruitful.

God prunes fruitful people.

We sometimes assume that if we're following God, everything should start going our way.

Jesus says otherwise.

Sometimes following God means getting cut.

A door closes.

A relationship doesn't work out.

Something you desperately wanted doesn't happen.

God's Word exposes pride, selfishness, greed, impurity or your need for control.

But there's a huge difference between destruction and pruning.

Destruction has no future in mind.

Pruning is all about the future.

Instead of immediately asking, "What's gone wrong?" try asking:

"God, what are you trying to cut out of me?"

And:

"What are you trying to grow in me?"

Don't waste your pruning.

Let the Gardener work.

2. You've Got One Job: Remain

This is the heart of John 15.

Jesus repeatedly says:

Remain.

Stay connected.

Stay close.

Make your home in me.

Don't drift away.

A branch doesn't wake up thinking:

"How am I going to manufacture grapes today?"

It doesn't hustle.

It doesn't compare itself with the branch next to it.

It doesn't create a five-step productivity plan.

It remains connected to the vine.

Life flows from the vine into the branch.

Eventually, fruit appears.

Sometimes we make Christianity far more complicated than Jesus did:

Try harder.

Do more.

Be better.

Achieve more.

Jesus says:

Remain in me.

Christianity isn't merely believing facts about Jesus.

It's Christ living in you and through you.

It's dependence.

Relationship.

Connection.

You Can Look Alive While Drying Up Inside

Here's the sobering part.

When you cut a branch off a tree, it doesn't immediately look dead.

For a while, the leaves remain green.

Put it beside a connected branch and you may not even see a difference.

But something fundamental has already happened.

It has been disconnected from its source of life.

The same thing can happen spiritually.

You can still:

Go to church.

Sing the songs.

Know your Bible.

Lead a small group.

Preach sermons.

Have decades of Christian experience.

You can look green on the outside while slowly drying up inside.

Jesus isn't asking:

"Were you connected to me once?"

He's asking:

"Are you remaining in me now?"

Don't live off your baptism.

Don't live off what you did ten years ago.

Don't live off last year's faith.

Ask:

How is my relationship with Jesus today?

3. Connected People Bear Fruit

Jesus says:

"If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit."

Notice the order.

Jesus doesn't say:

"Produce enough fruit, then I'll accept you."

He says:

Remain—and fruit will come.

Connection comes before production.

Roots come before fruit.

What does that fruit look like?

Changed character.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Repentance.

Real connection produces real change.

Obedience.

Jesus changes how we handle our marriages, money, time, sexuality, forgiveness, service and gifts.

And finally:

Spiritual impact.

Fruit reproduces.

Spiritually fruitful people help other people find Jesus.

We share our faith.

Love people.

Serve.

Study the Bible with people.

Help people become disciples.

Multiply disciples, leaders and churches.

And ultimately, the fruit points back to the vine.

It isn't:

"Look how impressive I am."

It's:

"Look what God can do."

So, Are You Plugged In?

Your marriage matters.

Your family matters.

Your career matters.

Your finances matter.

Your health matters.

Your ministry matters.

Your goals matter.

But there's one thing you cannot neglect:

Your connection with Jesus.

So ask yourself:

Am I plugged in?

Remember the three lessons of John 15:

1. Let the Gardener prune you.

2. You've got one job: remain.

3. Connected people bear fruit.

When you're successful—remain.

When you're struggling—remain.

When God is pruning you—remain.

When life gets busy—remain.

When you're discouraged—remain.

When everything is going wonderfully—remain.

The branch has one job.

Remain.

And Jesus promises:

"If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit."

Make this life count.

🙏 Support the Podcast

If this episode challenged or encouraged you:

• Share it with someone you care about
• Buy and leave a review on one of my books on Amazon
• Donate here.
• Subscribe for more faith-building content

When Following Jesus Costs You Something Real | Before You Quit #9

What happens when following Jesus costs you something—or someone—you genuinely love?

In Day 9 of Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done, Rob Skinner talks about a part of Christianity that can be painful to accept:

Obedience can cost you something real.

When Rob became a Christian during his junior year of college, one of the first people he wanted to tell was his best friend from high school.

This was someone Rob could completely be himself around.

They had taken road trips together.

Made memories together.

Enjoyed their college years together.

Rob expected his friend to understand why his newfound faith meant so much to him.

Instead, something changed almost immediately.

His friend's body language changed.

A relationship that had always felt completely comfortable suddenly became awkward.

And eventually, the friendship was effectively over.

Rob was shocked.

He had expected the people closest to him to see what he saw in the gospel.

Instead, he experienced firsthand Jesus' warning:

"You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved." — Matthew 10:22

Jesus also said:

"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." — Matthew 10:34

Christianity in Concept vs. Christianity in Reality

Christianity in concept can sound awesome and amazing.

Christianity in reality can be painful and costly.

Following Jesus can sometimes cost you:

Friends.

Opportunities.

Invitations.

Promotions.

Your reputation.

Comfort.

Parts of the life you once knew.

And when that happens, it's easy to start looking backward.

You may begin wondering:

"Was my life better before?"

"Is something wrong with me?"

"Is something wrong with my church?"

"Is something wrong with my faith?"

But sometimes people's reaction to your faith is less about what they think of you and more about what they think of Jesus.

Your new faith, standards and worldview may make people uncomfortable.

They may feel judged.

They may feel replaced by your Christian friends.

They may feel neglected by your new priorities and schedule.

Following Jesus can change relationships.

And that can hurt.

Jesus Never Hid the Cost

Jesus said:

"Those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples." — Luke 14:33

Sacrifice isn't an optional part of Christianity.

And it isn't partial.

Jesus' call touches everything we consider valuable:

Our lives.

Our families.

Our friendships.

Our money.

Our time.

Our habits.

Our behavior.

Our possessions.

So if you're considering walking away from Jesus because following him has cost you something, slow down before you make that decision.

Ask yourself:

What am I really giving up if I walk away?

Then turn your attention back to Jesus.

Paul writes:

"Though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich." — 2 Corinthians 8:9

Jesus understands sacrifice.

He gave up wealth.

Relationships.

Honor.

Prestige.

Comfort.

And ultimately, his life.

He gave everything to win your heart.

So when obedience feels expensive, remember what Jesus has already given you—and what he continues to give.

Before you quit because the cost feels too high, look again at Jesus.

He is worth the cost.

This is Day 9 of Rob Skinner's Before You Quit series, based on his new book, Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done.

If you know someone who's discouraged because following Jesus has cost them friendships, relationships, opportunities or comfort, send them this episode.

Rob's goal is to inspire you to live a no-regrets life, make this life count, and multiply disciples, leaders, and churches.

God Loves You—But Do You Believe It? Is Your "Truster" Broken?

What if one of the biggest problems in your relationship with God isn't that God doesn't love you—but that you have trouble believing that he does?

Years ago, two young children in Rob Skinner's extended family were adopted from Korea.

Their new parents gave them a loving home, security, opportunities and a family that poured love into them.

But the children struggled.

There was anger.

Mistrust.

Rejection.

As a young man watching from the outside, Rob couldn't understand it.

Why couldn't they see how much they were loved?

Then he learned what had happened before their adoption.

Their father had left. Their mother remarried, but her new husband wouldn't accept the children from her previous marriage.

One day, their mother brought the six- and eight-year-old children to an orphanage. She told them to wait while she went to the restroom.

She never came back.

Suddenly, their difficulty receiving love made sense.

The problem wasn't that their new family didn't love them.

They had been hurt so deeply that love had become difficult to trust.

And that raises an important question:

Is Your "Truster" Broken?

Rob first heard the phrase "broken truster" from Gary Meyer, author of Imitating Paul.

And he realized:

"I think I've got one."

Maybe you do too.

Paul prayed in Ephesians 3:17–19 that Christians would have the power to grasp how wide, long, high and deep the love of Christ is.

Why would believing God's love require power?

Maybe because we bring our entire history into our relationship with God.

Rejection.

Disappointment.

People who left.

Unanswered prayers.

Failure.

Sin.

Shame.

Experiences with parents, authority figures, churches, friendships and relationships.

And without realizing it, we can project those experiences onto God.

We know the Bible says God loves us.

We sing about God's love.

We tell other people that God loves them.

But somewhere deep inside, a question remains:

"Yes...but does he really love me?"

Put Your Full Weight on God

Rob admits that even after decades of seeing God's goodness in his life, he can still struggle to trust.

He feels the need to perform.

Produce.

Accomplish.

Fix.

Control.

Prove himself.

He compares it to sitting on an airplane during takeoff or turbulence and gripping the armrests as if somehow keeping his body tense will help keep the plane in the air.

Of course, the airplane doesn't need his help.

He can sit back.

Relax.

Put his full weight in the seat.

And maybe God is trying to teach us the same lesson:

"Put your full weight on me. I can take it."

Stop trying to hold everything together.

Stop trying to earn what God has already given you.

Stop trying to prove that you deserve to be loved.

Jesus said:

"Whoever comes to me I will never drive away." — John 6:37

God isn't looking for an excuse to get rid of you.

What Happens When We Don't Trust God's Love?

When we don't believe we're already loved, we start searching elsewhere for what we think is missing.

Maybe another relationship will make me feel loved.

Maybe more money.

Another promotion.

A better body.

More attention.

A growing ministry.

A bigger audience.

Another achievement.

Another person's approval.

But there's always another goal.

Another number.

Another accomplishment.

Another person whose approval we want.

We keep reaching because we don't understand what we already have.

You are already loved.

Rooted and Established in Love

Rob returns to Paul's words in Ephesians:

"Rooted and established in love."

Roots aren't flashy.

Nobody walks through a forest admiring the roots.

We notice the tree.

The leaves.

The fruit.

But when the storm comes, those invisible roots suddenly matter.

Rob doesn't want his roots to be in his performance, ministry success, money, approval or whether life follows his plans.

He wants to be rooted in one simple conviction:

God loves me.

When you truly believe that, you don't have to prove yourself constantly.

You can admit when you're wrong.

You can apologize.

You can take risks.

You can fail and get back up.

You can stop comparing yourself to everybody else.

You can love people without demanding that they love you perfectly in return.

You can rest.

You can breathe.

You can put your full weight on God.

Three Questions to Ask Yourself

1. Where is your "truster" broken?

Where were you disappointed?

Who rejected you?

Who walked away?

What prayer wasn't answered the way you hoped?

What experience made you question whether God really cares?

2. Where are you looking for something God has already given you?

Approval?

Security?

Significance?

Love?

Peace?

What are you chasing because you secretly believe that once you get it, you'll finally be okay?

3. What would change if you really believed God loved you?

What would you stop worrying about?

How would you pray?

How would you handle failure?

How would you respond to criticism?

How would you respond when somebody else succeeds?

What risks would you finally take?

People may disappoint you.

People may reject you.

People may leave.

People may fail you.

But don't confuse people with God.

God's love is wider than your failures.

Longer than your past.

Higher than your hopes.

Deeper than your wounds.

Maybe your "truster" is a little broken.

Rob's is too.

But God's love isn't broken.

Loosen your grip on the armrest.

Sit back.

Put your full weight on God.

And get rooted in his love.

🙏 Support the Podcast

If this episode challenged or encouraged you:

• Share it with someone you care about
• Buy and leave a review on one of my books on Amazon.com
• Donate here.
• Subscribe for more faith-building content

Following Jesus Feels Too Hard? Don't Quit Yet | Before You Quit #8

What if one of the reasons you're thinking about quitting Christianity is something you rarely say out loud?

"It's just too hard."

In Day 8 of Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done, Rob Skinner begins Week Two of the book: Why People Quit and Don't Say It Out Loud.

People rarely walk away from their faith in one sudden moment.

A disappointment here.

A conflict there.

An unanswered prayer.

A broken relationship.

Little by little, discouragement accumulates until someone quietly begins drifting away.

And sometimes underneath all of it is a simple feeling:

Following Jesus has become too hard.

Here's something Christians don't always like to admit:

Christianity is hard.

Yes, following Jesus is better.

It's blessed.

It's worth it.

But Jesus never promised it would always be easy.

In Luke 9:23, Jesus said:

"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."

Jesus didn't hide the cost of discipleship. He actually told people to count the cost before deciding to follow him.

So if following Jesus feels difficult right now, that doesn't necessarily mean you're doing something wrong.

You may actually be experiencing exactly what Jesus told us to expect.

A Christianity of Convenience

It's possible to customize Christianity until most of the difficult parts disappear.

No sacrifice.

Little prayer.

No emotional engagement.

Minimal commitment.

But that's a Christianity of convenience—not the life of discipleship Jesus described.

If you're struggling, you're also not the first Christian to feel this way.

An entire New Testament letter—Hebrews—was written to Christians who needed encouragement to keep going.

Hebrews 10:36 says:

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."

If Scripture tells us to persevere, it's because there will be times when we desperately want to stop.

Don't Just White-Knuckle It

But Rob doesn't recommend simply gritting your teeth and trying harder for the next 40 years.

Sometimes following Jesus becomes especially difficult when our focus shifts away from Jesus and onto the people and problems around us.

Rob shares a line from Thomas à Kempis' The Imitation of Christ:

"Whoever loves much does much."

Looking back, Rob realized that some of the times he complained most about how difficult Christianity felt were also times when his love and interest in Jesus had diminished.

He had lost some of the wonder and appreciation that originally drew him to Christ.

So he returned to Jesus' words to Christians who had lost their first love:

"Repent and do the things you did at first." — Revelation 2:5

Do the Things You Did at First

Rob realized he had stopped doing many of the things that had originally helped his love for Jesus grow:

Reading the Bible.

Avoiding temptation.

Spending time with other Christians.

Living transparently.

Praying.

When he started doing those things again, something changed.

His circumstances didn't suddenly become easier.

The hard things didn't disappear.

But God's love began to trickle back into his life, and those hard things didn't feel quite as overwhelming anymore.

If you're in a hard place right now, you're not the first Christian who's been there.

Don't quit before you receive the reward God has for you.

Persevere.

But don't merely white-knuckle your way through your faith.

Rekindle your love for Jesus.

Go back.

Do the things you did at first.

Because as your love grows, the hard things may begin to feel just a little smaller.

This is Day 8 of Rob Skinner's Before You Quit series, based on his new book, Before You Quit: Hope for the Christian Who Feels Done.

Rob's goal is to inspire you to live a no-regrets life, make this life count, and multiply disciples, leaders, and churches.