It's as if 007 went to prison for decades, was let out by government guys played by John Spencer & William Forsythe and then he had to help a nerdy Nicolas Cage save hostages on a deserted island. Well, hold up, that IS the plot of The Rock! Michael Bay's action movie is deeper than you might expect, with Ed Harris playing a superstar Marine general who becomes a terrorist…with sympathetic complexity. Cage is the out-of-his-element expert on chemical weapons who teams with Sean Connery's Bond-like ex-spy who once escaped from Alcatraz. The flick is a Bay/Bruckheimer/Simpson collab so it's gaudy, loud, tart-tongued and very exciting. Those 2 Mexican stand-offs are phenomenal scenes. There's death and destruction in The Rock, sure, yet it's just fun. So, yesh, cut Agent Goodspeed some slack as he battles the guy threatening to launch deadly gas while mourning his men (and "his wife") in this 744th episode.

Well, Actually: Mason uses SF Information to find his daughter...he doesn't just magically remember a phone number he never had. Also, the funny line about bailing on lemons is in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, not I Love You, Man. Also also, it DOES seem like Tony Todd's character knocks over a rock on purpose to start a massacre in the shower scene...and also at least SOME of Hummel's marines are killed when that "all enemies…foreign, sir, and domestic" melee is over.

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