Longing is at the root of relationship problems. It spins off from four different mindsets:

1. Reality is not the way we want it.

2. We want somebody or something to change.

3. We believe we are responsible to bring about change in someone or something.

4. We want to protect or rescue someone.

Longing is an obsession. You don't know what you can do if anything, but you desperately want to control another and help them change.

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