The Ryan Sallans Book Series

“In my teachings, changing your body is a sin. I know I can’t keep

my kid from doing what she wants to do as she gets older, but I don’t

know how to help her understand and live with her own sins.” He pointed

his index finger and put it firmly down on the table while leaning his head

forward, like he was giving a passionate sermon.

“I can’t believe you’re here” were the first words out of Lily’s mouth as she swung open the door to her house and pulled me inside.

She wasn’t wearing her glasses, allowing me to peer more deeply into her eyes. I couldn’t get over how dark they were, and felt as if I could fall into them and never find my way out.

*This is the final episode of Season 2 as we have come to the end of Second Son!

Season 3 will arrive in the Fall of 2026 with Transforming Manhood. 

I became scared when I realized that falling in love with someone

who lived in a city an hour away from my home would not only take me

away from my familiar surroundings, but it would also take me away from

everyone I loved. It would mean separating the family we had built. I could

only hope that when everyone received the news, they would forgive me

and recognize how much I had struggled with accepting the truth.

By the time our three days together had passed, and I was boarding the train to go back to the airport, I felt something fluttering inside.

Feelings that hadn’t pulsed through my veins in a very long time.

I immediately felt guilty and insecure.

I couldn’t have a crush on one of my colleagues.

Especially when I was in a relationship, right?

My phone vibrated in my pocket as I walked through the canned-goods aisle in an overcrowded grocery store. I pulled the phone out and saw my brother’s name pop up. Most of our conversations took place over text messaging, so I hesitated before answering.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Grandma died this morning,” his emotionless voice replied.

“Oh, no,” I said. I stopped in front of the corn and stood there, leaning against the shopping cart.

DISCLAIMER: This episode takes you to Belgrade, Serbia where I share my lower surgery experience. 

The sound of a door opening and closing and a plate sliding onto the nightstand next to me woke me from a lucid dream. I began to blink my eyes and focused on the blurred image of a small woman in a white dress and a stethoscope around her neck. She held in her hand a syringe, which was full of a clear fluid, and set a chart at the end of the bed by my feet.

My body was too long for the metal bed, so my legs ended up dangling over the tiny mattress.

“What did I do?” I asked.

On August 10, 2007, I agreed to make my first appearance on Larry King Live!

It didn’t fully sink in that I would be on live television and watched by millions of viewers until I stepped into the studio and felt the heat from the lamps, which surrounded the table, rest on my forehead.

When will you be complete?” Larry asked.

His other questions had been slightly awkward, but this one stopped all wheels from spinning in my brain. He had just asked the question that I was struggling with the most. I wasn’t ready to answer it; and I knew that being on live TV, I didn’t have time to think about what I’d really like to say. I knew I couldn’t sum up a question about feeling “complete” in one sentence.

Welcome to the start of Season 2, where we begin with part 3 of Second Son!

Christmas, 2005, had passed. The ranch-style stone house I was renting with Michelle was still illuminated by our live-cut, eight-foot Christmas tree, which we had purchased from a local hardware store.

With the high from the holidays and the activities that reminded me of my family growing up, I looked at her and blurted out, “Honey, I think we should buy a house together.”

She turned her gaze away from her book and toward me.

“No,” she said. “I don’t want change.”

The focus on my perceived imperfections leads me to understanding

how guys get addicted to weights and their supplements. I’ve been able

to keep myself away from the supplements so far, but the thoughts pop

into my mind every day. My right hand is constantly edging my computer

mouse toward the search button after typing GNC into the box. The battle

not to click on the box gets harder with each year that passes because I

recognize that the body I want can’t be achieved through genetics and hard

work in the gym. But I continue to stop myself.

I wish it were as easy to stop my thoughts.