The Sandwich Generation Pod

What happens when the money runs out? For many Americans, Medical Assistance for Long Term Care is an option that feels almost inevitable. But these were supposed to be ‘The Golden Years’, right? And now you’re telling me I have to live off of $120/month? WHAT?!? Where do you begin? There seem to be SO many rules and so much fine print -  and what is really provided?  

In part one of this two-part episode, Eliesa shares her personal story with the hardships of navigating and applying for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care. We also welcome Rachel Schromen of Schromen Law, LLC to be our expert in talking about the legalities of Medical Assistance for Long Term Care in Minnesota with real tips, real examples and real advice. 

**Please note that we are not offering specific legal advice - Use this advice to ask the questions in your states, with your attorneys.**

Takeaways:

• Eliesa’s personal story - why is she so passionate about Medical assistance?
• Lets clarify the terms: Medical Assistance for Long Term Care, Elder Waiver and Cadi Waiver
• What is *actually covered in MN when you’re on Medical Assistance for Long Term Care?
• The benefits of hiring an attorney for the pre-planning and application process. 
• Setting Expectations for being on Medical Assistance for Long Term Care

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Rachel Schromen of Schromen Law

01:06 Eliesa’s Personal Story with Medical Assistance

12:38 Why do people go on Medical Assistance and who is it for?

13:56 Medical Assistance vs The Elderly Care Waiver vs the Cadi Waiver

17:42 What are the first steps in applying for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care?

23:55 Navigating county workers and application challenges

34:16 Financial Realities of Medical Assistance and Elderly Waiver

45:39 The importance of early planning

47:02 Outro

Links and Resources:

National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys - a national resource to help connect you with Elder Law Attorneys around the country! 

Schromen Law, LLC - Learn more about Rachel’s practice and approach to Estate Planning and Elder Law. We know we’ll be making an appointment!

10 Questions to ask your Estate Planning Attorney - A very cool document provided by Schromen Law, LLC that walks you through questions to ask while calling around for Estate Planning and Elder Law. 

Minnesota Application for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care - if you’re interested in a DIY approach. A word of caution - these forms can seem deceivingly simple. We might recommend hiring a pro to help guide you. 

Low Income Resources:

Mid Minnesota Legal Aid

LawHelpMN.Org

Description: Alright, who else feels overwhelmed by keeping together the paperwork and passwords alone in The Sandwich Generation? Do we go digital with all of this or keep it analog? Yeah, we are asking ourselves the same questions, too! Season 2 of the podcast premiers with this mini-episode where Robyn Frank and Eliesa Johnson tackle one of our greatest challenges: organization. We discuss a system called ‘The Legacy Binder’ to simplify life admin - the medical, legal, end-of-life-planning, etc. and hopefully this can help us ALL make caregiving a little less stressful and more manageable when all of our shit is in one place. Did we mention how amazing scanner apps are? This episode isn’t deep but it is helpful! 

Takeaways:

Creating the “Legacy Binder”: Put together both a physical binder and digital folder with all of these important things! You can create this for both your aging parents and your own family. 

Digital Folder: Use a cloud service like Google Drive, Dropbox or iCloud. Make sure to keep things password protected for safe keeping!

Get yourself a Scan App: Scan Ace or Scan is what we use!

Folders can include: 

• Personal Information
• Financial Information
• Legal Information
• Medical Information
• Digital Information + Password
• Home Information
• End of Life Wishes

Links and Resources:

Care Out Loud - Use their Conversation Cards, 

Caregiving Cheat Sheets + Caregiver Resources - all in one place! 

Chapters:

00:00 Document Organization Strategies

01:15 There's so much paperwork: How do we get ourselves organized?

02:47 Analog vs Digital Organization - Or make it a combo!

09:54 Category Tips for Organizing ALL the Info

17:44 Category Tips Continued

22:17 Starting the Conversation with Parents

25:23 Care Out Loud Resource for Caregivers

28:59 Outro

Does it feel like time is fragile with your loved one? We do too. The truth is, none of us know how much or little time we have left with one another. For our Season 1 finale, we don’t just go deep, we go to THERAPY with our friend, Stephanie March. (We highly encourage you to take a read through her popular substack, Pickle.) 

Stephanie shares her story - and her personal journey - of saying goodbye to her mother Brigitte, who we all called Oma, who was diagnosed with a terminal illness and given six months to live. This is not an episode of fear or despair, but rather of light, love, the little things - and being brave enough to truly celebrate the time we have! We also touch on leading our children through the loss of a loved one and why we are all a part of ‘The long goodbye’. 

Grab your Kleenex and come laugh and cry with us through this episode! It’s a journey you won’t forget!

Takeaways:

Whether we are caregiving for aging parents or facing a terminal illness, how can we celebrate the time we have?

It’s the small things in life that matter the most in the end.

How can we practice staying present and having connection through aging or a terminal diagnosis?

Death merch is a very cool thing. 

Death nesting is also a very real part of the process. 

Are we all in ‘The Long Goodbye?’

Legacy is about carrying forward the stories and values of those we love.

How do we raise our kids to learn about death and loss when we’re sandwiched?

Continuing the celebration at a memorial - in a fun way.

Links + Resources:

Subscribe to Pickle by Stephanie March on Substack. 

Chapters

00:00 Season Finale Intro

02:40 The Story of Brigitte von Haken and her final gift

08:19 Facing Terminal Illness with Grace

13:35 Death Merch

15:50 Carrying out your loved one's wishes - even when they're not your own

16:21 Navigating Death and DNR Conversations

18:38 Honoring a Mother's Legacy

23:01 Celebrating the time we have - What matters most?

31:45 Guiding our children through aging and death when we're in The Sandwich Generation

42:42 The long goodbye to the final goodbye 

57:25 Let the Celebration continue - Planning the Memorial in a *cool* way

01:03:20 The After-Party Crash of Death Burnout for Caregivers

01:06:13 Change + Living Life to the fullest - because we are ALL in The Long Goodbye

01:09:50 The Gift of Being Yourself

01:10:23 Rapid Fire Questions with Stephanie March

01:13:05 Cheers to Season 1 and Oma: Simplex Munditiis! 

01:13:46 Reflections on the Journey and Future Aspirations

01:14:58 Outro

We can all relate to the chaos of the holiday season and when you’re in The Sandwich Generation, things can feel…extra tricky. You’re packing up the strollers, the walkers and packing diaper bags for both the young and old - ah! Yes! The Holidays! In this episode, hosts Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank talk about the hilarious predicaments of the holiday logistics when you’re caregiving, along with generational and religious differences, sentimental holiday traditions and even a visit from Santa! You heard right - Santa. We will also leave you with some tips and tricks that we can all use as we approach this holiday season! Yes - it’s an episode for us all! 

Takeaways

• Things feel mighty tricky during the holidays when you’re Sandwiched!
• There are a lot of logistics, diaper bags, walkers and snacks packed for everyone. 
• Emotions run high during holiday gatherings.
• The torch has been passed - and now it is our time to carry on or start new traditions.
• Consider hosting your holiday early - when the kids and grandparents' energy levels are the best - or before the sugar crash. 
• Outsource that shit! The meal, the shopping, whatever you need to do!
• Happy Holidays - I’m setting boundaries this year! 
• All that matters is our time together. 
• What would you add to our holiday survival guide?

Chapters

00:00 The Holiday Chaos when you're in The Sandwich Generation

04:22 Robyn's Real Life Hallmark Story of Chrismukkah

08:18 Nostalgia and the Holidays - How did our parents do it all?

10:51 Eliesa's Christmas Tradition: Being Santa and the Elf

11:35 The Santa Legacy

16:47 Passing the Torch: When a new generation leads the Holiday

20:54 HO HO HO! A visit from SANTA!

25:37 Incorporating Parents in Holiday Celebrations

26:24 The Sandwich Generation Holiday Survival Tips! 

35:09 Segment: To Laugh or Cry

37:34 Continued: The Sandwich Generation Holiday Survival Tips! 

For caregivers who have watched a loved one decline from the terrible diseases, such as Alzheimer’s, Dementia, Cancer; the question is often asked, “Will this happen to me? Is there anything I can do to prevent this?” If you are in The Sandwich Generation, you also know that finding time for self care is hard (See Episode 4: Self Care is a SCAM!). Suddenly we see ourselves shifting - we are setting our vanity aside and health and wellness have become about preserving our bodies and MINDS for aging - and living in the now! In this episode we welcome Rachel Daugherty of BootyandBrains.co who has built something truly remarkable and made the internet buzz about - gasp - brain health! She’s a sandwiched parent who has ushered her own mother through a fraught battle with Alzheimer's - and built us all a resource on both educating and empowering our bodies and minds! Rachel is inspiring hundreds of thousands of people and we are lucky to have her with us today! 

Links and Resources:

@bootyandbrains.co - Follow Rachel, her knowledge and hilarity here on her instagram account!

BootyandBrains.co - Sign up for Rachel’s class. A clear guided path to reducing your risk of Alzheimer's by building sustainable daily habits. 

Momentous - A Rachel-endorsed brand for Creatine and Fish Oil supplements. (Code B&B for 20% off)

Only 3% of Alzheimer's cases are based exclusively on genetics. See the study here.

Dementia Prevention, Intervention and Care Article - Read all about it here.

Research and Progress from The Alzheimer’s Association 

Takeaways

It's not just about working out for vanity’s sake anymore; it's about holistic, long term health.

Caregiving changes our perspective on our own health.

Alzheimer's prevention is largely about lifestyle choices.

Just because Alzheimer’s affected your loved one, doesn’t automatically mean it will happen to you.

We can make small changes - in our diet and movement - that make a big impact on our health overall and play a part in Alzheimer’s prevention. 

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Rachel Daugherty of BootyandBrains.co

02:03 Rachel's Personal Journey with Caregiving and Alzheimer's 

08:14 Building a Business out of grief - and one that impacts everyone

14:34 Our brains, our bodies and the science behind Alzheimer's prevention

29:04 The boring basics of self care that make a BIG difference

31:35 There is hope in Alzheimer's prevention

34:26 How being a caregiver gives you perspective on your own health

39:39 Giving your body 'equipment' for aging

42:05 "My health is bigger than me" - Talking to your kids about brain health and o

Almost everyone knows someone who has Alzheimer’s Disease. For many of us in The Sandwich Generation, this diagnosis was also the moment we became caregivers for our loved ones. But it’s all so confusing - is it Alzheimer’s? Is it Dementia? How do I bring up this conversation with my parents? Am I genetically dispositioned to get this too? WTF! 

In this episode, co-hosts Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank have an incredibly candid and informative conversation with Dr. Elizabeth Edgerly, Senior Director of Community Programs and Services at the Alzheimer’s Association. Dr. Edgerly shares her personal story of walking alongside her mother with Lewy Body Dementia, along with answering all our questions - and giving HOPE to the future of Alzheimer’s. This episode is for us all - what we can do for Alzheimer's prevention, knowledge about the latest groundbreaking treatments and most importantly - how we, as caregivers, can bring humanity and Person Centered Care to our loved ones! 

Takeaways

The difference between Alzheimer’s and Dementia.

Getting the correct diagnosis is crucial for treatment.

What to do when you notice cognitive changes in your parent.

Explaining the early, middle and late stages of Alzheimer’s. 

Lifestyle changes can significantly impact brain health and reduce risk.

Genetic factors play a role in Alzheimer's risk, but lifestyle can mitigate this.

Hormonal changes in women may increase Alzheimer's risk and with caregiving, it’s a double whammy. 

Support resources are available for caregivers and those diagnosed at ALZ.org. 

Links and Resources:

Alzheimer’s Association Website

The 10 Warning Signs of Alzheimer’s Worksheet

My ALZ Journey - a new app brought to you by the Alzheimer's Association that puts all of their resources in one easy place for people who are first diagnosed 

The Empowered Caregiver - Support Groups, Local Chapters and Online Community for caregivers to those with Alzheimer’s and Dementia. 

24/7 Helpline - Yes, this helpline is still a thing AND a useful tool when you need help directly in the moment! A professional staff can guide you through all of your questions, day or night! 

Trial Match - Are you interested in being a part of a clinical research study? See if you qualify and what studies are happening now!

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Elizabeth Edgerly

25:03 The Comfort of Nostalgia: Peanut M&Ms and Family Bonds

27:27 Preserving Dignity

30:36 Early, Middle and Late Stages of Alzheimer's

35:12 The Importance of Early Diagnosis

38:59 Emerging Treatments and Blood Tests for Alzheimer's

45:54 Understanding Amyloid and Neurofibrillary Tangles

53:47 Hormonal Health and Alzheimer's

01:00:52 Resources for Alzheimer's Caregivers

01:04:02 Real Talk

Downsizing and moving your aging parents is one of the hardest tasks of all time. Or maybe your loved one has already passed and you are tasked with selling a home and going through a lifetime of belongings. It’s. Brutal. Seriously, it’s the definition of overwhelm. Where do you begin? In this episode, we welcome guest Alli Rubin who is a professional moving manager and a true ‘easy button’ when it comes to tackling this enormous task. Alli shares actionable tips on how to approach going through all of the stuff along with a thoughtful conversation about how our objects do hold meaning and the way we can honor the past while finding closure and moving on. It’s a good one, welcome to The Sandwich Generation Pod!

Takeaways

• The difference between a Hoarder and a Saver - we all think our parents are hoarders, but are they really?
• It’s a gift to move your parents while they are still alive - start the conversations and process early!
• Our objects, our things and our stuff hold meaning. They tell stories. Let's honor that while also downsizing and guest Alli Rubin provides actionable tips to dealing with all of the ‘stuff’. 
• How to make the new place feel like home.
• How to keep objects for future generations and remember our loved ones.
• The difference between hiring a professional mover vs junk removal - and the realistic costs. 
• How our objects can live on and give meaning to others!
• Working with Siblings and creating boundaries and deadlines around the moving process!

Links and Resources

Get in touch with Alli Rubin: [email protected]

**The Following resources are based in Minnesota**

Estate Sales Minnesota

PRISM MPLS - Donate to the Shop for Change Thrift Shop and Marketplace Food Shelf.

SAVERS - Declutter Responsibly.

STEP - Accepts donations for food and clothing.

Bridging - Accepts Furniture, housewares, linens, small appliances, electronics, mirrors, artwork and pictures. 

JFCS Hag Sameach Program -  provides personalized holiday gifts, ritual items, and household necessities to families and individuals who are in need.

Astound Video - Converting VHS, Photographs, CD's, and Video Tape transfers to digital format. 

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guests
01:12 Meet Alli Rubin
04:39 When is the right time to call a mover?
14:19 Hoarder vs Saver
19:06 Helping families downsize
30:52 Our objects hold meaning
34:42 The energy our objects hold and passing that along
38:30 The difference between hiring a mover and junk removal
43:15 Estate Sales and Resellers
46:45 Setting Boundaries and Timelines
51:55 Start the moving conversation early, make the calls and plan
56:12 Outro
56:53 Real Talk

Have you ever been asked by a friend, “What can I do to help?” and you go blank?! Yeah, us too. Being in The Sandwich Generation is a lot. And it’s oftentimes hard for our friends and ourselves to communicate just how lonely it feels and how much we need our friends. In this episode hosts Robyn Frank and Eliesa Johnson discuss the challenges of maintaining friendships, having the capacity and some great tips on how we can accept help and love from our friends. Lets learn together on how to call upon our village, so we can feel a little less alone!

Takeaways

• Life can feel heavy and lonely when you’re in the Sandwich Generation and it’s oftentimes hard to share your true feelings with friends. 
• We need our friendships, now more than ever - but how do we ask for help?
• Friends can show support in simple, meaningful ways
• Friendship is essential and can be a source of strength during tough times.
• It's important to include friends in the caregiving journey, even if it's just sharing updates.
• Friendship is essential and can be a source of strength during tough times
• Recognizing the efforts of friends and expressing gratitude strengthens relationships. 

Chapters

00:00 Intro to Friendships

01:17 It feels lonely when you're 'Sandwiched'

06:04 The importance of work friendships 

09:26 It takes a village

12:59 Things aren't as they used to be - and that's okay!

19:57 What can I do for you?

28:25 To Laugh or Cry Segment

30:15 Examples of how friends have shown up

37:42 Keeping our Parent's friendships alive and well

42:51 A recap and Survival Guide to Friendships in the Sandwich Generation

47:13 Outro

Raise your hand if you’re a caregiver who has needed to manage your parent’s finances and you think - oh F*ck - this is A LOT more difficult than I expected?!? We think everyone in the room right now feels this way! No matter how full or empty the bank account is, opening the books to your parents finances, managing the cost of care and navigating the emotions of money is a journey that is riddled with feelings. In this episode, we welcome Shannon Foreman, CEO and Founder of Forethought Planning. Shannon is a three-time-sandwiched caregiver herself and has helped countless families walk through the money conversations. We are SO grateful for Shannon’s wisdom in this podcast as we dive into conversations around what legacy really means, long term care insurances, Medicare vs Medicaid and most importantly - how to bring up ‘the money talk’ with your parents, while bringing empathy and humanity to the conversation. 

“Money and Health are so important, intertwined and personal. Just like you need a good bedside manner for health, you have to have a good bedside manner for money too.” - Shannon Foreman

Links + Resources: 

Forethought Planning Podcast: For more deep dives and advice from Shannon Foreman, check out her podcast! Here is a link for Long Term Care Specific Episodes!

Cost of Care Quote: Use this site to calculate the cost of care in your area!

*Minnesota* Medical Assistance 

*Minnesota* Senior Linkage Line

Schromen Law, LLC - Legal Professionals who specialize in Medical Assistance Planning

Types of Long-Term Care Insurance & Alternatives

A. Traditional LTC Insurance

• Annual premiums, use-it-or-lose-it
• Health underwriting required
• Often less flexible

B. Hybrid LTC (Life Insurance + LTC Rider)

• Permanent life insurance with LTC benefits
• If care is never needed, legacy benefit remains
• Usually more expensive upfront, but asset-based

C. Annuities with LTC Benefits

• Income-producing tool with care coverage if needed
• Can be repurposed from existing retirement accounts

D. Alternatives to Insurance

• Self-funding (for high-net-worth clients)
• Medicaid Planning (asset spend-down, trusts)
• Family caregiving (and its financial/emotional costs)

Chapters

00:00 Navigating Finances in Caregiving

06:19 Starting Difficult Conversations

11:52 Understanding Legal Documents

18:23 The Reality of Long-Term Care Insurance

24:25 How has Financial Planning Changed for today's Generation

25:56 Medicare vs. Medicaid Explained

30:53 The Challenges of Medical Assistance

35:52 Leaving a Legacy and what does that mean

39:20 Conversations to plan for a better future for our generation

41:17 Medicaid and Elder Waiver

44:18 Planning for our own futures

47:13 Is it ever too late to hire a professional?

50:00 The first steps in getting your shit together

53:04 Having Empathy and Humanity to the hard conversations

57:25 Real Talk

How the f*ck am I supposed to fit in self care? This is a question we ask ourselves all. of. the. Time. (especially while living this ‘sandwiched’ lifestyle). With the algorithms feeding us endless articles about all the ways we ‘should’ be doing self care, frankly, it all feels like a scam. 

In this episode, we (Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank) open up about the frustrations around taking care of ourselves while being caregivers for both our children and parents. We give some realistic examples of how we fit in tiny moments of joy that help us cope with the stress, along with a deeper conversation on how watching our parents age has had an effect on our own health journeys. And did we mention we talk about making CPAPs sexy?! That’s right - welcome to The Sandwich Generation Pod!

Takeaways

• Self care feels like a scam because there is NO time people! 
• Being ‘sandwiched’ and watching our parents age has only made us reflect on our own health journey - because we want to stay as healthy as possible for our children as they grow!
• Taking vitamins might be all the self care there is for the day!
• Shoutout to CPAP machines and amazing sleep! CPAPs are COOL, y’all!
• Finding radical acceptance is important for our mental well being when we’re in the midst of caregiving.
• Everything you do each day is enough. 
• Journaling, therapy, indulging in a great coffee / cocktail, nutrient dense food are all things we’ve found as small joys along the way. 
• Creating boundaries around your time from caregiving is self care. 
• It’s okay to just survive some days; recognizing that is part of self care.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction 

00:47 The Reality of Self-Care in Busy Lives

01:57 Our Personal Self-Care Practices and Challenges

07:09 Making CPAP Machines Sexy and how Sleep is EVERYTHING

15:06 How bedtime with our kids became the best time

19:53 Our own Health Awakening from watching our parents age

27:11 Prioritizing our health for our own aging

29:38 Setting Boundaries: Caring for Family

33:54 Practical Hacks: Self-Care in Everyday Life

37:52 Radical Acceptance: What we are doing is enough

40:35 Outro