302: Self-love, second chances and dick pics with Lou Featherstone

Ever dreamed of leaving your husband, buying a leopard print bus, and touring America's Bible belt while throwing vibrators out of the window? That's what Lou Featherstone did, and she tells us all about it in this episode. 

We hear how a dick pic inspired her to leave her marriage after 20 years. We find out what it's like to give a Ted talk and to find new love with an old flame, and Lou shares her top tip for self-love. We also hear about her plans to take her beloved bus on the road here in the UK. 

To finish up we enjoy some amazing Scummy Mummy Confessions involving a Portuguese taxi driver and a threesome via a Harvester. 

For more from Lou, including dates for her new tour, follow her on Instagram @luinluland. 

We are bringing our BRAND NEW SHOW, Hot Mess, to theatres all over the country in 2025! Nunhead, Horsham and Farnham are SOLD OUT already... So get your tickets NOW for Stockport, Harlow, Birmingham, Wrexham, Salisbury, Leeds, Sheffield, Stroud and Epsom... Then we're off to Dunstable, Chelmsford, Worthing, Cardiff, Worcester, and many more... Visit  scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

Thank you for listening! 

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We've got a live one! This special episode was recorded in front of a lovely audience at the Soho Hotel. We talk about our relationships with fitness - everything from Helen's epic running to Ellie's dodgy knees. 

We discuss how we both hated exercise at school, and why that changed as we got older. Helen explains how getting out of her marriage led to a change in mindset, and Ellie confuses herself with a complicated analogy about hobs and saucepans, or something. 

This episode is brought to you in partnership with Sweaty Betty. We've been wearing their exercise gear for years, so we're very happy to be working with them. 

Sweaty Betty’s mission for the past 25 years has been to empower women through fitness – and for 2025 they’re doubling down on this by encouraging women to release that inner pressure and move in a way that makes you feel good. You might be strong today but struggle tomorrow. Or you might train for success, or to shut out the noise. Working up a sweat looks different to everyone; it’s about finding a fitness that fits you.

We're doing another live podcast with Sweaty Betty on 12 February, in Liverpool - tickets are available now. 

You can sponsor Helen for completing all the World Major Marathons in Tokyo in March for the Borne Charity here.

And our new show, Hot Mess, is almost ready for its world premiere! Our first few shows have already sold out, so get your tickets now... scummymummies.com

Thanks for sponsoring us, Sweaty Betty. 

And thank you for listening!

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What's the secret to a happy marriage? Which one of us didn't know what a reacharound is until today? Are bouquet garnis worth it? We answer all these questions, along with the most important one of all: why are people still listening to this nonsense, 300 episodes in? 

Joining us is the brilliant Rob Deering. He tells us about his 25 year career in comedy, and what he believes has kept him and his wife together for so long. Ellie also shares her top tip for staying married (spoiler: it involves a lot of WhatsApp groups.)

As this is our 300th episode, we thought we'd bring back our fave game of yesteryear, Handbag Surprise. Plus, a daft quiz! And, of course, some Scummy Mummy Confessions, involving sex, burping, and a Christmas present fail. 

Do check out Rob and Paul's excellent running podcast, Running Commentary, wherever you get your podcasts. Rob's book is called Running Tracks and it's out now. The other podcast Ellie mentions in this episode is called The Swinging Palm Trees. 

Rob is directing our brand new show, HOT MESS! Tickets are now on sale for billions of gigs all over the country throughout 2025. Come and see us in Horsham, Stockport, Wrexham, Birmingham, Farnham, Leeds, Sheffield, Stroud, Harlow, Dunstable... And that's just March and April! Check scummymummies.com for more dates and tickets. 

Huge thanks to all the amazing guests we've had over the last 300 episodes. It has been such a joy and a privilege to meet so many interesting, clever, funny people, and also Steve Hill. But the biggest thanks of all goes to everyone who has listened to and left lovely reviews for our silly old podcast. We never thought we'd still be here 300 episodes later, but we're so happy that we are. 

Thank you, so much, for listening. x

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There's some full-on honest chat in this episode as we talk about all things downstairs with Kelly Newton and Coni Jefferson-Longden, the founders of NIXI Body. 

Kelly tells us how pissing herself inspired her to become a pioneering inventor and engineer. We also hear about her experience of fostering 28 children over a period of 19 years. 

Coni shares some fascinating facts about cervical mucus, and we learn why the gussets on our pants sometimes go a bit orangey. She discusses her challenging journey to becoming a mum, and tells us what not to say to anyone dealing with fertility issues. 

There's a bit of chat about post-partum exercise versus taking it easy. Plus, find out why Ellie smacked Helen on the bum, and whether she liked it. 

Many thanks to NIXI Body for sponsoring this episode. We are massive fans of their excellent knickers - they're so comfy, stylish, and amazingly leak-proof. We can run and wiggle about in them as much as we like, with no worries about periods or bladder business. Plus, no VPL! Head over to NIXIbody.com  to have a look at the full range. 

We are bringing our BRAND NEW SHOW, Hot Mess, to theatres all over the country in 2025! The preview shows are in South East London this February. Then it all kicks off in Horsham, Stockport, Harlow, Birmingham, Wrexham, Salisbury and Farnham in March. In April we're coming to Leeds, Sheffield, Stroud and Epsom. Then we're off to Dunstable, Chelmsford, Worthing, Cardiff, Worcester, and many more... Visit  scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

Thank you for listening! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What mistake do all would-be novelists make? What's it like to be nominated for the Booker prize? And what's the best drink to pair with a Greggs Steak Bake? Helping us answer all these questions is the brilliant novelist Charlotte Mendelson! 

We discuss Charlotte's latest book, Wife, plus her work as a creative writing teacher. She tells us what all her students have in common, reveals her top tips for finishing your novel, and shares the best piece of writing advice she was ever given. We also discuss the economics of being a writer, and accidentally have a serious debate about AI. 

Then it's time for relationship chat as we look at how people end up in bad partnerships, and why they stay. Charlotte talks about the pressure of being a poster family when you're a gay parent, and what it's like to have adult kids. 

Plus: book recommendations if you're going through a divorce, why Calpol syringes are better than turkey basters, and that time Charlotte saw Keir Starmer in a Gail's.  

Wife is out now, and it's a great read for anyone interested in breakups, jokes, lesbians and/or Australians. 

We are bringing our BRAND NEW SHOW, Hot Mess, to theatres all over the country in 2025! The preview shows are in South East London this February. Then it all kicks off in Horsham, Stockport, Harlow, Birmingham, Wrexham, Salisbury and Farnham in March. In April we're coming to Leeds, Sheffield, Stroud and Epsom. Then we're off to Dunstable, Chelmsford, Worthing, Cardiff, Worcester, and many more... Visit  scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

Thank you for listening! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Time for the filthiest, silliest and sweariest episode of the year - it's the Scummy Mummies Christmas Podcast! 

We are joined by our old friends Miserable Steve, Nurse Jessie and Sam Pamphilon. We discuss our highs and lows of 2024, and find out what Steve means when he talks about getting his balls drained. 

Of course, our festive Scummy traditions return - join us as we wish Linda a happy birthday, and find out if Jessie has a new job. Plus: who will win this year's Ham Review? 

There's a hilarious story about not defrosting some gammon, a warning about the dangers of Chinese laxative tea, and a deep dive into the origins of our 2024 slogan, "No tuna, no vape." And not one, but two stupid quizzes!

We also share the strongest Scummy Mummy Confession we heard this year, and enjoy a heated and graphic debate about the best way to unblock a toilet. 

Trigger warnings: sexual deviancy, toilet "humour", guinea pig death/exhumation. 

Ellie used Felicity Cloake's ham recipe, while Helen went with one by Sarah Rossi. Her brilliant book, What's for Christmas Dinner?, is out now. 

Thank you for listening. And a special shoutout to all those who have listened to every episode of our podcast for the last 11 bloody years. We really appreciate your support and tolerance. As always, this Christmas Special is for you. 

See you in 2025 with our brand new show, Hot Mess, and massive UK tour! Some tickets on sale now via scummymummies.com.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, lots of love from Helen and Ellie xxx

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Are modern mums more stressed than their predecessors, and if so, why? What's the best way to deal with anger, and what should you do if you've shouted at your children? How do you accept that you're just not good enough? Answering all these questions is the amazing psychotherapist Anna Mathur! 

She tells us all about her brilliant new book, The Uncomfortable Truth: Change Your Life By Taming Ten Of Your Greatest Fears. We discuss everything from death and rage to phone addiction and crap holidays. Then we round off with some Confessions involving coping strategies, lentils, and Miserable Steve and his enormous hose. 

Anna's latest book is out now! You can follow her on Instagram @annamathur.

*WE ARE ON TOUR!* Many dates are sold out but there are still a few tickets left for Twickenham tonight and tomorrow, and Finchester on Friday. Then next week we're off to Winchester, Wells and Leatherhead. And we round off the year on 17 and 18 December, followed by Kent on the 19th. Plus look out for tickets to our brand new 2025 show, Hot Mess - they make great xmas presents! Go to scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

Thank you for listening! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we answer all the burning questions we've had recently about the theft of Ellie's wedding rings. How did they get nicked in the first place? What was the piece of advice that helped her get them back? Is the vow renewal still going ahead??? Listen in to find out! 

It's just the two of us for this one, live from the glamorous setting of a Premier Inn hotel room in Norwich. As well as discussing the ring drama, we take the opportunity to say some nice things to each other, and even get a bit weepy at one point. But don't worry, there's plenty of pisstaking and swearing too. 

Thank you for listening. And thank you to everyone who liked Ellie's posts, made lovely comments, and gave helpful advice. The internet can be a dreadful place, we all know that. But it's lovely when you discover little pockets of love and joy, and we're very grateful to have found one here. 

Love Ellie and Helen x

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How do we keep children safe when they're playing games online? What's the best way to manage screentime? What is Fortnite, why is it so popular, and what age should kids be allowed to start playing it? Helping us answer all these questions is the awesome author and video games journalist, Keith Stuart!

This special episode is sponsored by Epic Games, the creators of Fortnite. We talk about some of the positive aspects of gaming, including why games can be a lifeline for neurodivergent children. We also offer some tips for parents for getting involved in their kids’ gaming and avoiding arguments about screentime, or at least reducing them.

Then it's time for a chat about Fortnite specifically - we explain how it all works, and take a look at the wide range of experiences on offer within the game, such as LEGO Fortnite, Rocket Racing, and thousands more. We also discuss Epic’s approach to safety and some of the parental controls available for you to use. 

There's also a bit of book chat - Keith is now writing his fifth novel, and we find out about his writing routine. His latest book, Love is a Curse, is out now.

Do have a look at the websites we recommend - askaboutgames.com and familygamingdatabase.com. Check out Epic’s Safety and Security site for more info. And check out Andy Robertson's great book, Taming Gaming.

Thanks again to our sponsors, Epic Games.

And thank you for listening! 

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What's the best brand of air fryer? How can bad bakers get better? And why does the This Morning baking expert hate making wedding cakes? Answering all these questions is the fabulous Juliet Sear! 

She tells us all about her amazing career, from making the world's first edible Christmas jumper to becoming a daytime TV star and ending up with eight air fryers in her house. We share some of our culinary disasters, and find out what went wrong the time Juliet tried to make a red velvet cake for Mel B. She reveals the truth about celebrity chef cookbooks, and gives us her top tip for the best chips ever. Plus: can she convince Ellie to give in and get an air fryer? Tune in to find out! 

Juliet's brilliant book, Air Fryer Baking Magic, is out now (and all the excellent recipes can be made without an air fryer, FYI.) Check out her gorgeous fashion line at sugarhillbrighton.com, and head over to laineslondon.com for a look at her super sexy and unbelievably comfy slippers. She's on Instagram @julietsear.

*WE ARE ON TOUR!* Very soon we're coming to Blackburn, Tenbury Wells, Newport, Norwich, East Grinstead... And then it's our Christmas tour! Harrogate, Newcastle, Twickenham, Colchester, Finchley, Winchester, Wells, Leatherhead, Cambridge and Benenden. Go to scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

Thank you for listening! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.