What's the best way to dispose of a sex toy? Do cats have nails? And is it wrong to take a piss in your cheating husband's bathwater? Nobody is asking these questions, but we attempt to answer them anyway in this special episode! 

As we take a break from gigging for the summer, we reflect on the opening leg of our Hot Mess tour, and share some of our favourite confessions from those first 43 shows. Tune in to hear tale of what one naughty toddler did with some Rice Krispies, how one woman ended up with tits that smell like Big Macs, and a top tip for managing screen time that involves Russia. Plus: we discuss the confessions that are too scummy to read out...

An amazing FIFTEEN THOUSAND PEOPLE have already been to see Hot Mess. Thank you so much to everyone who's come along and shared confessions. If you've been to the show and enjoyed it, please tell your friends! And/or, bring them along to the next one! We start gigging again in the autumn, then it's our Christmas tour, and we have shows booked in right the way up to 2027... New dates are announced all the time, so keep an eye on scummymummies.com for tickets.

A huge thank you to all our podcast listeners - especially the ones who have been with us for the last 12 years, through all three hundred and something episodes. We never thought we'd last this long, but here we are, and we love it, so we're going to keep going. We are so grateful for your support. 

Until next time, thank you for listening! 

E&H xxx

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She's an Olympic athlete, a brilliant life coach, and a busy mum of three - it's the awesome Michelle Griffith-Robinson! 

We hear all about how she became a medal-winning triple jumper, choice versus sacrifice, and whether it's true that all the athletes are having it off behind the scenes. 

We talk about Michelle's life now and she shares her top tip if you're planning a home renovation. She gives us some inspirational, motivational advice for living life to the full. Plus, we discuss her strict rules for screentime and school reports. 

There's some serious chat as Michelle tells us about her work for Women's Aid. She explains the one thing you should never say to someone in an abusive relationship, and what to say instead. 

We round off, of course, with some Scummy Mummy Confessions, and a cheeky bit of chat about Mel B's wedding.

Follow Michelle on Instagram @michellegriffithrobinson for news of all her doings. 

WE ARE ON OUR! This month we're bringing our new show Hot Mess to Barnsley, Stevenage and Cheltenham... Feastival and Deer Shed Festival in the summer. Then Stamford, Loughborough, Tonbridge, Exeter, Redruth, Basingstoke, Bishop's Stortford and many more in the autumn, and beyond! Some shows are already SOLD OUT so get in quick - visit scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

Thank you for listening! 

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Our guest for this episode is the hilarious actor and social media star Clara Batten! We talk about everything from writing books and kickstarting your career to what it's like to have dinner with Boris Johnson. 

Clara tells us how she makes her brilliant reaction videos, and what the people she's reacting to make of them. We discuss how she got banned and then unbanned from Instagram, and how her comedy has helped her return to acting after a 20 year break. 

We also talk about Clara's desert island drinks, her exciting new project with a close personal friend of ours, and we play a quick round of Wine Game. To finish, there are some superb Scummy Mummy Confessions, and Helen rounds everything off nicely by spectacularly insulting our guest. 

You can follow Clara on the socials @clara_batten_. Her excellent show, Shoot Your Shot, is on YouTube, and her book Gin and Phonics is out now. 

WE ARE ON OUR! This month we're bringing our new show Hot Mess to Buxton, Lancaster, Lichfield, Eastleigh, Bristol, Poole, Barnsley, Stevenage and Cheltenham... Feastival and Deer Shed Festival in the summer. Then Stamford, Loughborough, Tonbridge, Exeter, Redruth, Basingstoke, Bishop's Stortford and many more in the autumn, and beyond! Some shows are already SOLD OUT so get in quick - visit scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

Thank you for listening! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

313: Ellie's Dad - life lessons, a quiz, and some "jokes" 

What are the lyrics to Happy Birthday? What is the correct term for male swimwear? Who is Jennifer Lopez? Ellie's Dad knows the answer to none of these questions, and we are here to mock him for it. 

Yes, it's a Father's Day Special as Jim returns to the podcast. We discuss Crystal Palace's FA cup win, aka the best day of his life. He shares the number one nugget of wisdom he's learned after 78 years on the planet, and Ellie comes up with a new plan to monetise him in his old age. There are some quiz questions, and Confessions involving a Turkish airport, two clothes steamers, and the Virgin Mary. Listen right to the end for a classic Dad joke. 

Trigger warning: this episode includes several instances of Jim singing, plus an impression of Joe McElderry by Ellie. If you have been affected by any of the singing on this podcast, we can only apologise. 

Ellie's Dad isn't on social media. But you can follow him around at our gigs. 

WE ARE ON OUR! This month we're bringing our new show Hot Mess to Banbury and Milton Keynes, then in July it's Buxton, Lancaster, Lichfield, Eastleigh, Bristol, Poole, Barnsley, Stevenage and Cheltenham... Feastival and Deer Shed Festival in the summer. Then Sunderland, Rotherham, Stamford, Loughborough, Tonbridge, Exeter, Redruth, Basingstoke, Bishop's Stortford and many more in the autumn, and beyond! Some shows are already SOLD OUT so get in quick - visit scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

Thank you for listening! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our guest for this episode is the awesome Daisy-May Hudson. She tells us about her experience of homelessness, and her journey from documentary maker to film director. 

We discuss Daisy-May's latest movie, Lollipop, which tells the story of a woman fighting to get her children back, and a friendship that's rekindled along the way. It's out on the 13 June and it's absolutely brilliant. 

There's also some chat about Daisy-May's documentaries - Halfway, which she made when her family was made homeless, and Holloway, about former inmates of the infamous women's prison. Holloway is out on 20 June. 

Of course, we finish off with some Scummy Mummy Confessions. Daisy-May tries to reframe Helen's tale of pissing herself as a celebration of freedom, and Ellie nearly pisses herself laughing. 

Follow Daisy-May on instagram @daisymay_hudson. 

WE ARE BACK ON THE ROAD! Our 2025 show Hot Mess is coming to theatres all over the country this year. Many shows are SOLD OUT already so get your tickets NOW for Banbury, Nottingham, Taunton, Bristol, Poole, Buxton, Lancaster, Lichfield, Eastleigh, Tonbridge, Catford, and many more... Visit scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

Thank you for listening! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is being a restaurant reviewer the best job in the world? Where's the best place to book a table right now? And how did a picky eater become an award-winning food critic? Answering all these questions is Jimi Famurewa! 

He tells us all about his brilliant new book, Picky. We discuss Jimi's time as a connoisseur of all-day breakfast in a can, and share some strong opinions on butter boards. 

There's also some serious chat as we talk about what it was like to grow up in the shadow of the BNP and the murder of Stephen Lawrence. Jimi discusses his time working for Zoo and Maxim magazine in the noughties, and how he feels about his role in lad culture now. Ellie confesses to her own sexist contribution, and claims it was a different time. 

Plus, Jimi tries a delicacy from Helen's home country, and we share some Scummy Mummy Confessions involving a towel, a hot tub, and a prawn cocktail. 

Picky is out now. Follow Jimi on the socials @jimfamished.

WE ARE BACK ON THE ROAD! Our new show Hot Mess is coming to theatres all over the country this year. Many shows are SOLD OUT already so get your tickets NOW for Brighton, Henley-on-Thames, Nottingham, Taunton, Bristol, Poole, Buxton, Lancaster, Lichfield, Eastleigh, and many more... Visit scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

Thank you for listening! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

An Englishwoman, an Irishwoman, a Greek and an Australian walk into a DJ booth... No, it's not the start of a joke, it's the latest episode of the Scummy Mummies Podcast! 

Our guests are the hilarious comedians Riona O'Connor and Olga Thompson. Due to an administrative error, we find ourselves crammed into an unpleasantly warm enclosed space. We get up close and personal about pretty much everything - body confidence, the menopause, Jedward, friendship, school WhatsApp groups, ageing, the Crowded House origins story, raising teens, mental breakdown, and what to do if your tortoise has a prolapsed anus. Plus we play a revealing round of I Have Never: Menopausal Old Slags' Edition.

For more brilliant stuff from these legends, plus details of their upcoming tour dates, follow @rionaoconnor_ and @big_fat_greekmother. And check out Olga's fantastic book about growing up in a Greek hair salon, Split Ends. 

WE ARE BACK ON THE ROAD! Our new show Hot Mess is coming to theatres all over the country in 2025 and beyond. Many shows are SOLD OUT already so get your tickets NOW for Wellingborough, Maidstone, Dorchester, Brighton, Henley-on-Thames, Nottingham, Taunton, Bristol, Poole, Buxton, and many more... Visit scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

Thank you for listening! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ooh, look at us, sifting through evidence and sipping on fizz with the excellent Drunk Women Solving Crime! Listen in as we join Taylor and Hannah to discuss parenting fails, suppository etiquette, and what happens when nuns go wrong. 

If you enjoyed this episode you can find many more DWS bangers wherever you get your podcasts! And why not go and see them live?

Also, WE ARE BACK ON THE ROAD! Our new show Hot Mess is coming to theatres all over the country in 2025 and beyond. Many shows are SOLD OUT already so get your tickets NOW for Wellingborough, Maidstone, Dorchester, Brighton, Henley-on-Thames, Nottingham, Taunton, and many more... Visit scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

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What's it like to headline a stage at Glastonbury? Who is more fun to hang out with, Mickey Rourke or Alan Titchmarsh? What item you could buy from a Robert Dyas does Mariah Carey insist on having at her parties? Answering all these questions is DJ Nikki Beatnik! 

She tells us about Mums That Rave and how her amazing daytime parties are taking over the world. There's a bit of serious chat as we discuss sexism in the music and theatre industries. And we talk about the trials of accepting a prestigious award while simultaneously trying to sort out your son's Roblox login. 

Plus, we play an amazing round of True or False, and find out how Nikki managed to offend Jordan from New Kids on the Block. 

We bloody LOVE Mums That Rave and strongly suggest you get yourself down there - this week's event is sold out, but tickets are available for Birmingham on 7 June and London on 12 July. Go to mumsthatrave.com and follow Nikki @djnikkibeatnik and @mumsthatrave.

WE ARE BACK ON THE ROAD! Our new show Hot Mess is coming to theatres all over the country in 2025 and beyond. Many shows are SOLD OUT already so get your tickets NOW for Chelmsford, Worthing, Cardiff, Worcester, Trowbridge, Wellingborough, Maidstone, Dorchester, Brighton, Henley-on-Thames, Nottingham, Taunton, and many more... Visit scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

Thank you for listening! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is there such a thing as a "maths brain"? How do you help a child who's struggling with numbers? And why should you never tell a kid they're clever? Here to answer all these questions is the legendary Bobby Seagull!

He tells us how he gave up a career in the city to become a teacher, and ended up going viral after an appearance on University Challenge. We discuss Bobby's dating life, and how he explained it to his mum using a PowerPoint presentation. Ellie attempts a Keir Starmer impression, Helen reveals how she embarrassed herself in front of a hot young man, and we invent a new catchphrase for Britain. Plus: a maths rap and a quiz! 

Bobby's books, The Life-Changing Magic of Numbers and The Monkman and Seagull Quiz Book, are out now. Follow Bobby on social media for more Seagull magic or visit bobbyseagull.com.

WE ARE BACK ON THE ROAD! Our brand new show Hot Mess is coming to theatres all over the country in 2025 and beyond. Many shows are SOLD OUT already so get your tickets NOW for Leeds, Sheffield, Stroud... Then we're off to Dunstable, Chelmsford, Worthing, Cardiff, Worcester, and many more... Visit  scummymummies.com for dates and tickets.

*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!  

We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.

Thank you for listening! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.