What happens when Black Americans leave the U.S. and build a life abroad? What does it mean to integrate into a new culture while still finding community and belonging?

Here’s a preview of a live conversation with three Black creatives living in Mexico City: multidisciplinary artist and healer Iyeyinde, chef and entrepreneur Ron Dutes, and artist and educator Vivianne Njoku.

Come back for more in the next full length episode of TSLOTKD, where our guests break down "expat" life, migration, gentrification, cultural integration, language, and building cross-cultural community - and what Black life in Mexico City can teach us about the difference between forced integration and actually belonging.

¡Nos vemos la próxima vez para «La vida secreta de TK Dutes»!

Credits: Hosted and produced by Keisha “TK” Dutes. Live audio recorded by Mike Brown. Post-production support by C. 

You just had to be there.

When podcast producer-turned-restaurateur Tiara Darnell closed her groundbreaking soul food restaurant, Blaxicocina, in Mexico City, she was forced to ask the same question TK was wrestling with: Who am I after the thing I thought would define me? Together, they reflect on leaving careers that no longer served them, building community from scratch, the rise and fall of Blaxicocina, and why sometimes choosing yourself means letting an old dream end so a new one can begin. 

This side quest explores reinvention, creative risk, and the freedom that comes from refusing to keep life on the hardest difficulty setting.

Support the Show
✨Want the full conversation?✨

The complete extended interview with Tiara will be available on Patreon.
Support independent audio storytelling and unlock bonus episodes, behind-the-scenes content, and more at: Patreon.com/SecretLife ofTK

Leave a Message

Call/Text The Secret Lifeline and leave a message for a future episode:

☎️(929) 551-4363

🎙️ The Secret Life of TK Dutes is hosted and executive produced by me, Keisha TK Dutes. 

🙏🏾 Special thanks: Tiara Darnell, Mike Brown (Producer), C. (Engineer), Faybeo’n Mickens (Marketing), Pat Mesiti-Miller (Theme Music), 

👉🏾 Follow Tiara online: @Blaxicocina & https://blaxicocina.com/
👉🏾 Follow Mike Brown on IG: @theartoflettingopodcast
👉🏾 Follow TK on IG: @tastykeish | @philosfuturemedia
👉🏾 Go behind the scenes on Patreon: patreon.com/c/SecretLifeofTK

What does it mean to live beyond expectation?

In this special Pride Month side quest, TK shares an exclusive excerpt from conversation with artist, producer, educator, author, and creative force DJ CherishTheLuv. Together, they explore queerness not simply as identity, but as a practice of becoming- of questioning inherited beliefs, rejecting limiting systems, and allowing yourself to grow into all of your possibilities.

From gender expansiveness and chosen love to creativity, healing, family expectations, and releasing generational burdens, this conversation is an invitation to live a life that is bigger than the boxes we were handed.

Inspired by the spirit of Audre Lorde, this excerpt asks:

•  What if queerness is also a way of imagining a freer life? 
•  What happens when we stop carving ourselves into shapes that make other people comfortable? 
•  How do creativity, healing, and self-discovery help us become who we're meant to be?

This episode also features a moving message from Jordan Knoxx, who shares how music helped bring her back to life during one of the darkest periods of her journey.

Support the Show
Want the full conversation?
The complete extended interview with DJ CherishTheLuv is available on Patreon. Support independent audio storytelling and unlock bonus episodes, behind-the-scenes content, and more at:
Patreon.com/SecretLife ofTK

Leave a Message
Call The Secret Lifeline and leave a message for a future episode:
(929) 551-4363

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

The Secret Life of TK Dutes is hosted and executive produced by me, Keisha TK Dutes. 

Special thanks: DJ CherishTheLuv, Mike Brown (Recordist), C. (Engineer), Faybeo’n Mickens (Marketing), Pat Mesiti-Miller (Theme and credits music).

👉🏾 Follow DJ CherishTheLuv on IG: @DJCherishTheLuv
👉🏾 Follow TK on IG: @tastykeish | @philosfuturemedia
👉🏾 Go behind the scenes on Patreon: patreon.com/c/SecretLifeofTK

What if healing isn’t about going back to who you were- but becoming someone new on purpose? 

What if your life is not something to survive, but something to re-create?

In this minisode, I sit down with super multi-hyphenate creative (DJ, author, Broadway producer), CherishTheLuv to talk about creativity as survival, healing, and rebirth. From a life-altering head injury to breast cancer and remission, Cherish shares how losing memory, identity, and certainty led her into a deeper relationship with music- and ultimately, herself.

We talk about what it means to take ownership of your body and your story, how trauma can reshape not just your life but your sense of self, and how creativity became the tool that helped her rebuild from the inside out.

For Cherish, music became the bridge back. For me, her story was a mirror.

If you would like to SEE (yup it’s video!)  the RAW full conversation between me and DJ CherishTheLuv, become a contributing member of my patreon- we got into religion, our queerness, and how making room for our creativity opens us up to love. For the full conversation, join us at patreon.com/secretlifeoftk. 

I would love to hear from you- call me on The Secret Life Line at ‪(929) 551-4363‬ and leave me a message! That and a 5 star rating and reviews help because your experiences help people feel like they're not alone. 

The Secret Life of TK Dutes is hosted and executive produced by me, Keisha TK Dutes. 

Special thanks: DJ CherishTheLuv, Mike Brown (Producer), C. (Engineer), Faybeo’n Mickens (Marketing), Pat Mesiti-Miller (Theme and credits music).

👉🏾 Follow DJ CherishTheLuv on IG: @DJCherishTheLuv
👉🏾 Follow Mike Brown on IG: @theartoflettingopodcast
👉🏾 Follow TK on IG: @tastykeish | @philosfuturemedia
👉🏾 Go behind the scenes on Patreon: patreon.com/c/SecretLifeofTK

After Episode 3, A Season of Loss with Tah Whitty, I got a voice note from our listener/friend Z - and I had to share it. Your messages mean everything, and you can always leave me one at ‪(929) 551-4363‬.

Because of the messages and feedback from folks I wanted to share an excerpt of producer, Amanda B. Nazereno's award winning podcast Six Degrees of Cats, where she asks about Our Feline Fictive Kin: Are Cats Full Fledged Family?  If you’re thinking about companionship, chosen family, or just living life on your own terms- this one’s for you.

Follow @6degreesofcats on IG and keep your ears peeled for a certain someone featured in another episode- Beyond Taylor Swift: Who Are Cat People? ;)

Big thanks to Z for the call, Amanda (+ Binky, Snuggles, and Peanut!), and the Cat Museum of NYC for including us in their pet loss grief guide: https://www.catmuseumnyc.org/resources/grieving-a-pet

Grief doesn’t always look dramatic.
Sometimes it looks like an apartment that suddenly feels too quiet.

In this episode of The Secret Life of TK Dutes, TK sits down with her longtime friend Tah Whitty-  an emcee, emotional coach, and nurse who has spent over three decades watching people move through life, illness, and grief.

The conversation starts with the loss of two beloved companions: TK’s cat, Feisty Mrs. Peabody, and Tah’s dog, Henry. But like most real conversations about grief, it quickly becomes about everything else.

The years where things shift.
The jobs that disappear.
The friendships that end.
The life you thought you’d have… and the one you end up building instead.

Tah talks about what's underneath our human suffering and what we are reaching out for; and TK talks about the quieter griefs associated with living outside the script.

Together they explore the strange tenderness that comes from loving an animal who sees every version of you- the hustling version, the heartbroken version, the version trying to hold it all together.

Together they explore how animals become witnesses to our lives.
 
How grief cracks things open.

And how sometimes the deepest teachers show up in fur, not human form.

Welcome to The Secret Life of TK Dutes.
Episode 3: A Season of Loss.

After the conversation with Tah, TK sits down with producer Amanda B. Nazareno for a quiet post-show reflection about what it means to move through a season of loss as in a capitalistic society, as people with marginalized identities.

Watch the full behind-the-scenes Production Chat between TK and Amanda - available on Patreon.

Want to share? 📞 You can call or text The Secret Life Line at (929) 551-4363, or leave a voice note at [email protected].

Special thanks: Tah Whitty, Amanda B. Nazareno (Producer), Manny Faces (Engineer), Faybeo’n Mickens (Marketing), Pat Mesiti-Miller (Theme Music), Gabrielle Smith (Art). 

👉🏾 Follow Tah Whitty on IG: @tahfree
👉🏾 Follow Amanda on IG: @catsuitmuse | @6degreesofcats
👉🏾 Follow TK on IG: @tastykeish | @philosfuturemedia
👉🏾 Go behind the scenes on Patreon: patreon.com/c/SecretLifeofTK

In this God quest (not-so-mini) bonus episode of The Secret Life of TK Dutes, TK pulls up to artist Élan Cadiz’s Harlem studio for a loose, unfiltered conversation about art, family, and what it means to embody an object.

What starts as curiosity- sparked by episode 2 with Nicole Crowder, has TK following the thread to deeper reflection on comfort, lineage, and the expectation of being used as a tool.

Élan breaks down her project An American Family Album, where family members are rendered as chairs- revealing how we see ourselves and what we carry. TK shares why following the “God quest,” even without a plan, has become essential to her healing from burnout.

Pull up a chair it's time for art therapy.

Follow Élan Cadiz: https://www.instagram.com/elancadiz
Learn more about An American Family Album: https://www.elancadiz.com/an-american-family-album
Read the Vogue feature: https://www.vogue.com/article/artist-turning-family-into-chairs

📚 Élan's Library 📚  

Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto
Author: Tricia Hersey
Link: https://thenapministry.com/rest-is-resistance
 

Killing the Black Body: Race, Reproduction, and the Meaning of Liberty
Author: Dorothy Roberts
Link: https://thenewpress.com/books/killing-black-body

The Prophet
Author: Kahlil Gibran
Link: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/317488/the-prophet-by-kahlil-gibran/
 

How I Became a Ghost
Author: Tim Tingle
Link: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/228584/how-i-became-a-ghost-by-tim-tingle/

Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches
Author: Audre Lorde
Link: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/193060/sister-outsider-by-audre-lorde/

------------

Special thanks to Amy of Velma Jean Flowers for calling the Secret Life Lifeline and for lifting up Sara Ahmed’s Living a Feminist Life this episode. Your reflection helped shape this conversation.

📞 You can call or text The Secret Life Line like Amy did at (929) 551-4363, or leave a voice note at [email protected].

⭐ If you want to help us become an award-winning podcast, rate + review the show wherever you listen and consider becoming a Patreon member at
👉🏾 https://www.patreon.com/SecretLifeofTK
Your support helps us enter award categories so they can put some respect on our names.

This bonus episode was produced by Tre’ Jones
Hosted and Executive Produced by Keisha TK Dutes of Philo's Future Media
Post-production audio by Manny Faces.

Next time we meet, we take a moment for grief in Episode 3 — coming soon.

Burnout doesn’t always announce itself.
Sometimes it just asks you to sit down.

In this episode of The Secret Life of TK Dutes, a late-night scroll turns into a flight to Minneapolis, an upholstery class, and a quiet reckoning with rest and healing. TK meets furniture designer/curator/editor Nicole Crowder, and what starts as a conversation about chairs becomes one about creative burnout, self-trust, and leaving hustle culture without making a scene about it.

They talk about making things with your hands, about why comfort feels political, about how Black women creatives have always known how to make home out of whatever’s available. About chairs as witnesses. About the right to rest. No big reveal - just the slow realization that burnout recovery might look less like escape and more like listening.

After the episode, TK sits with producer Tre’ Jones to briefly unpack what this episode shifted inside of them. The full post-episode reflection lives on Patreon.

This episode doesn’t rush.
It pulls up a chair and waits.

Welcome back to The Secret Life of TK Dutes.
Episode 2: An Invitation to Sit.

Special thanks: Nicole Crowder, Tre' Jones (Producer), Manny Faces (Engineer), Faybeo’n Mickens (Marketing), Pat Mesiti-Miller (Theme Music),  Gabrielle Smith (Art)

👉🏾 Follow Nicole Crowder on IG @nicolecrowderupholstery | nicolecrowderupholstery.com

👉🏾 Follow TK on IG: @tastykeish | @philosfuturemedia
👉🏾 Go behind the scenes on Patreon: patreon.com/c/SecretLifeofTK

In this mini-episode of The Secret Life of TK Dutes, TK shares a story time about how creativity and community helped her find her way back to herself.

Burned out, depressed, and desperate to get off the laptop, TK started making functional art just to keep her hands busy.
What began as an exercise in avoidance turned into an unexpected metaphor for her own life and marked a turning point.

The episode also features listener call-ins about healing, reflection, and rebuilding.

📞 Call The Secret Life Line: (929) 551-4363
🎙️ Or send a voice note to philosfuturemedia[at]gmail[dot]com

Produced by Keisha “TK” Dutes
Post-production audio by C.

More minisodes and behind-the-scenes moments to come.

**Coming Soon: Episode 2: An Invitation to Sit**

Hey friends,

The way y’all have been pulling up about Episode 1, The Hustle Don’t Love You Back, has been… phewww. Thank you for trusting me with your journeys through burnout. 

But now I wanna hear from you, about your healing journey. 

The part where you started finding your way back to yourself. The small stuff. The weird stuff. The stuff that feels like a shortcut to peace. Maybe it’s art. Maybe it’s therapy. Maybe it’s your cousin telling you to sit down somewhere. Maybe it’s that one moment in the day where everything gets still for no reason.

Call me and drop a short reflection.

Start with: “My name is ___, and one thing that’s helping me heal is ___.”

I would love to share some of these on The Secret Life of TK Dutes, so we can all learn from each other — how we’re healing, creating, and trying to imagine a life that feels like ours again.

Leave your message at 929-551-4363 or send a voice note to [email protected].

Can’t wait to hear what your healing sounds like — the soundtrack, the vibe, the whole mood.