For many Americans Christmas has seemingly been canceled. The excuse? An obscure amount of people did not do their due diligence in following vague mitigation procedures. Now Krampus has arrived early to prevent family gatherings, feasting, general celebration, and gift giving. More people seem to be afraid of what their relatives might transmit to them than they are about what they may receive as a present. Instead of seeing a joyous face, folks in California and New York will be seeing pieces of dirty cloth draped over the face of their loved ones as if they were common criminals trying to hide their identity. Instead of a 12 days of Christmas celebration, many are instructed to enact 12 days of quarantine. This year, the only gift being widely distributed in an experiment mRNA shot that promises to deliver illness faster than spoiled eggnog.

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