In this episode, Nick speaks with Clarissa Burt, who has achieved a lot, from being a supermodel to being on the game show “Survivor” and being a producer. She wasn’t born into the spotlight and worked against everything she was taught. Coming from a home with abuse and alcohol, they were taught that children are to be seen, not heard. Clarissa sang in the kindergarten school play, and she was hooked. She felt seen and heard on stage.

From there, she kept getting on stage with plays and even landed a modeling gig in New York. They sent her to do some work in Paris, but she was homesick and decided to come home. Quitting modeling, she became a temporary secretary.

They had sent her to Revlon. Looking at all the modeling photos, she knew she messed up and was willing to do whatever it took to get back into modeling.

She saved up all her money from this temp job, booked a one-way ticket to Europe, and met with an Italian agent. Before she knew it, her picture was in the hall at Revlon.

About Clarissa Burt

Clarissa is an internationally acclaimed award-winning media personality, producer, director, writer, author, public speaker, former supermodel, and winner of the Celebrity Survivor show!

With hundreds of television and film credits to her name, this Who’s Who of International and American Women brings over 35 years of entertainment industry experience in both International and American markets.

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Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show”

00:00:08:08 – 00:00:27:17

Nick McGowan

Hello and welcome to The Mindset and Self-mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. And on this show, my guests and I unpack the stories that shape us, the lives that we lead on our path to self-mastery. So let’s not wait any longer. Let the games begin.

00:00:32:00 – 00:00:34:00

Nick McGowan

Hey, Clarissa, welcome to the show. How are you doing?

00:00:34:07 – 00:00:35:21

Clarissa Burt

I’m doing an awesome today. How about you?

00:00:36:05 – 00:00:55:10

Nick McGowan

Good, good. I know you’re not in your normal space that you’re in, but I appreciate you being on on here. I was looking through your website, looking through all the stuff that you sent over to me and I’m really excited to be able to get into the conversation. We’re going to get into because I feel like you’ve got a lot of stuff that you’ve been through and that’s probably just a simple generality, right?

00:00:56:13 – 00:01:10:00

Clarissa Burt

What’s what do people say about you know, you have that a lot. You’ve got you’ve done so much or you’ve got to be old to do all this stuff. You know, it always does. It just kind of comes back around to, you know, how many how many earth years I’ve got.

00:01:10:09 – 00:01:19:05

Nick McGowan

I mean, so. Well, yeah, that’s that’s fine that you take it there. I’m not trying to take it there at all. It’s funny. And to the audience, it’s not like she’s 140 years old.

00:01:19:05 – 00:01:22:19

Clarissa Burt

Like I’ve been around a long time.

00:01:23:12 – 00:01:29:02

Nick McGowan

Yeah, I remember when Jesus created the planet, you know, it was an interesting day. We were all, you know, having a barbeque wondering what.

00:01:29:11 – 00:01:31:01

Clarissa Burt

I was on Noah’s Ark.

00:01:31:02 – 00:01:43:22

Nick McGowan

So there to say to Shay and I’m sure we’ll get into some of that. So I don’t want to take away from getting into that. Why don’t you tell us what do you do and what’s one thing that most people don’t know about you that’s a little odd or bizarre?

00:01:44:09 – 00:01:59:06

Clarissa Burt

Um, cause, you know, one of the things I think a lot of people know about me is that I one survivor. So that was kind of cool being on the, you know, the celebrity version of Italian Survivor ten years ago and being on an island in Nicaragua with a bunch of kids that were a lot younger than me was a lot of fun.

00:01:59:14 – 00:02:14:18

Clarissa Burt

You know, it was one of those kind of. Why did you do it? Well, because I could you know, I’m not married and have kids. I have, you know, cactus here in Phenix, Arizona. So I can get up and leave anytime I want. And and I really didn’t want to do it. I said no 100 times, and they talked me into it.

00:02:14:18 – 00:02:32:22

Clarissa Burt

And I said, let’s do it. And it was really it was interesting because what I did learn there, I mean, when you’re talking about, you know, leaving the audience with, you know, some of those, you know, kind of like Golden Nugget, and that is really honestly, you can’t trust anybody. And I don’t mean that in the truth. I mean, I don’t see that as like being dead.

00:02:32:22 – 00:02:33:23

Clarissa Burt

I don’t know.

00:02:34:09 – 00:02:36:00

Nick McGowan

Just the beginning of this.

00:02:36:00 – 00:02:49:21

Clarissa Burt

I just feel really extra special, careful because, you know, all the you lie and you can create all the alliances that you want all year long and all all lifelong. And something’s always going to happen. There’s always there are always going to be triggers are always going be differences. There’s always there is something that someone’s going to throw at you.

00:02:50:07 – 00:02:59:15

Clarissa Burt

And and that’s where the, you know, the real work of the self esteem, you know, comes in. It’s how you handle stuff like that. I mean, are you still a class act or do you become a complete asshole?

00:02:59:23 – 00:03:14:20

Nick McGowan

Mm hmm. Yeah. Which ties in a mindset, you know, how do you handle when somebody berating you and you go, You fucking kidding me? But you can’t you can’t get back at them in that sort of way. And I know there’s a lot of pieces that you’ve gone through in that sort of a sense, so why don’t we just dove straight into it?

00:03:14:23 – 00:03:30:10

Nick McGowan

You know, there’s there’s some of the things that you’ve gone through specifically self-esteem wise. And then I’m sure there are specific things that you look back at and say, My mindset shift helped me or really hindered me in that spot. So let’s start with that. Were there any key moments or something that pops up that you’re like, Right?

00:03:30:10 – 00:03:36:08

Nick McGowan

There was a pivotal moment where because of my mindset shift, I either went down a path in a negative way or a positive way.

00:03:36:17 – 00:03:50:22

Clarissa Burt

Yeah. What if, you know, when I first started modeling, I had gotten there. I first of all, I had gone to Paris. You first of all, I was I was in New York and I got signed by an agency back in the eighties and it was great. I thought it was great. They sent me to Paris. Well, you know, I didn’t get along real person.

00:03:50:22 – 00:04:09:20

Clarissa Burt

I didn’t get along so well. I was homesick. I mean, I was a kid and I wanted to go home. I wind up being a secretary. I’m back in New York City, you know, because I lived in New Jersey at the time, back in New York City. And I go to a temporary secretary agency, secretarial agency, and they send me to Revlon corporate.

00:04:10:21 – 00:04:32:07

Clarissa Burt

Now, you talk about a strange turn of events. That was really the it was almost cruel of the universe to send me there. So I’m like, I see Revlon, and I’m looking around the walls and I see all these supermodels with, you know, the beautiful makeup. And it I really screwed Paris up. I was there for, like, ten months.

00:04:32:07 – 00:04:50:01

Clarissa Burt

I just couldn’t. I just didn’t. It wasn’t my vibe. I just couldn’t do Paris for some reason back in the day. And so anyway, I’m looking at these walls and really screwed this up. Make myself enough money from that job to buy another one way ticket back to Europe. And I had, you know, a few years had passed.

00:04:50:01 – 00:05:10:19

Clarissa Burt

Now, I wasn’t, you know, I was like 21 now and and I go back up there, will meet and they had the Italian agent, like the Italian agent. Yes. You and but you want do you call me? I great. Great. So I did. I went to Milan and that’s where it really started for me. And within two years my picture was on the walls at Revlon.

00:05:12:11 – 00:05:29:16

Clarissa Burt

Still, this is one of those kind of moments where you go, okay, hold on, hold up, hold on. There sparkles as they say. You know, don’t ever, ever, ever, ever think that your first chance was your last chance. You know, don’t ever think that this is something that I if it happens once, you know, you screwed it up, fix it.

00:05:30:04 – 00:05:44:22

Clarissa Burt

You know, we’re all going to make mistakes. I you know, I like to talk about your fail being your first attempt in learning. Right. And I was learning a whole bunch back that I still word I’m 63. I’m still learning a bunch of stuff every day. But back then, you know, there was there was a bunch of learning curves that were going on.

00:05:44:22 – 00:05:53:17

Clarissa Burt

And I didn’t have in there wasn’t a lot of support around me. So I just went ahead and did all the mistakes that I could and that I give wherever I could.

00:05:54:04 – 00:06:11:17

Nick McGowan

Knock them all out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So why don’t you give us a little bit more context for the audience? Because I think we just jump straight into the the model now, supermodel. So the audience might be sitting here saying, Who am I talking to? Because now her pictures on the walls of Revlon. So how did we get here?

00:06:12:14 – 00:06:37:13

Clarissa Burt

Okay. Yeah, well, little Chrissy brought out of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, from a regular, you know, middle class family row home in Colindale and Philadelphia and, you know, the background that natal tribe was a little and they were brutal. Yeah, it was a little tough at home. So we had mom and know 12 years to the nuns, dad, 12 years to the priests.

00:06:37:18 – 00:06:51:12

Clarissa Burt

You know, a lot of children were supposed to be seen and not heard and a lot of violence in the House. There was a you know, there was drinking and violence. And that’s where I started to learn that, you know, we weren’t in Kansas anymore. So there were going to be some very difficult, you know, times and roads.

00:06:51:12 – 00:07:17:20

Clarissa Burt

I came out of that house with PTSD for sure, just for sure. So there were a lot of things that I had to learn about love and life and relationships and trust and right and wrong. So that’s where it all started. That’s where I was and I was Mary Poppins in the kindergarten play. I think I’ll throw that in there also because what really wasn’t what I really found that gave me, if you will, some solace.

00:07:17:20 – 00:07:36:19

Clarissa Burt

And it was it was the recognition from being on stage. I mean, when I heard after I got done singing super caliber, fragile, Mystic, Exhale Associate and I heard my first applause, I was hooked. That was it. That’s all I needed. So I had been living basically all, almost all of my life on stage and in front of a microphone.

00:07:37:08 – 00:08:05:14

Clarissa Burt

It started out with modeling, but then it, you know, it wound up being many different things, but it’s been you know, these were the beginnings. You know, this again, that able tribe that were, you know, your first you know, your first formed. And that’s a lot of that you take with you for the rest of your life. Unless you really fall in love with personal development, you fall in love with self help, you fall in love with wanting to get, you know, get the I call it like it’s self-help.

00:08:05:16 – 00:08:18:21

Clarissa Burt

It ain’t self-help, right? It’s not supposed to be sitting on the shelf. You’re not supposed to bring it home and not read it. It’s you know, it takes the courage that it takes to, you know, to want to go down that path. And and that’s where it all started for me.

00:08:19:12 – 00:08:36:14

Nick McGowan

Yeah. You and I both know that that’s not something where the person will. Development stuff doesn’t just pop up one day where you’re like, Oh, shit, I should go read this book by Zig Ziglar or I should go do this thing or what have you. It’s typically always somebody that has opened the door for you or some sort of situation that opened the door for you.

00:08:37:06 – 00:08:42:17

Nick McGowan

I, I grew up in Glen Old and then Prospect Park. We, we didn’t know that as we got into this. But now you do.

00:08:43:00 – 00:08:46:00

Clarissa Burt

My grandparents lived in Glen, old and funny.

00:08:46:05 – 00:09:08:00

Nick McGowan

You know, it’s interesting how Delco there there’s there’s a stigma about Delco and how we just are very hardworking people. But for the most part, what I experienced was a lot of it was just put fucking dirt on it. Stand up, get up, get back to work. Put Derek on it and get back up on. So I know that that’s not typically one of those easy shifts to go, Hey, you know what?

00:09:08:00 – 00:09:25:03

Nick McGowan

Let’s rethink this. Let’s look at the way we’re doing things. That’s not typically the M.O. and it doesn’t sound like it was how you were raised at all. So tell us a bit about how you got into that, because I know that’s a transformative, transformational phase of life that really propels you into something where you’re at now.

00:09:25:17 – 00:09:45:05

Clarissa Burt

Yeah, well, you know, you know, again, the formation being children are obviously not heard. Wait a minute. Children are supposed to be seen and not heard. And I made my life, you know, basically on stage and in front of a microphone. My mother my mother, who absolutely just couldn’t take a picture of the woman she hated. Take her picture.

00:09:45:05 – 00:10:05:15

Clarissa Burt

Take as she. Oh, my God. She stayed away from the camera her entire life. What did I do? I went and I worked in front of the camera. My father now, you might remember this from back in the day. We were Irish, right? So, you know, there were lots of you know, and God forgive me, I don’t mean to say, but back in the day, there were a lot of Degas and a lot of wasps that didn’t get along with the Irish and vice versa.

00:10:06:01 – 00:10:31:10

Clarissa Burt

Right. So what did I do? I moved to Italy, so I moved to Italy to work in front of a camera. Right. And and so I already in my own very special way, without being angry with anyone or anyone being angry with me lately, turned the tables on what it was that I had learned a lot of the other things I had learned, like good manners and those are the things that serve me.

00:10:31:14 – 00:10:47:22

Clarissa Burt

But what didn’t serve me was don’t take my picture and oh, the racism and all that I’d never served. I don’t think it served anybody’s know. So yeah, you have to be able to, you know, again, they’ll try. They’ll give you what you got. You’re always going to go for Christmas dinner. You’re going to love them always. But not everything they teach you is going to serve you.

00:10:48:14 – 00:11:12:08

Clarissa Burt

So and I can say the same thing for your faith. I can say the same thing for you, the educated process, you know, the friends you make in college and university. I can say the same thing for the books that you read. The people that you hang out with, and they they have transmuted through the years. Right. You’re not hanging out the same people that you did ten years ago or 20 years ago because you’re a different person, because your path has has has taken on your path is probably more about your truth.

00:11:12:08 – 00:11:30:20

Clarissa Burt

Now, what works for you and doesn’t. And if it isn’t yet, if you’re still figuring that all out, then, you know, get into the personal development section and Barnes and Noble. When I was a kid, we had warm books, we had border books and we had Barnes and Noble. And there was like one been that was about self-help.

00:11:30:20 – 00:11:57:15

Clarissa Burt

Right. And I lived I live there now as $1,000,000,000 industry, you know, personal development. I mean, going to a Barnes Noble now and it’s like I also aisles and aisles that never end of of self-help and personal development my crowning glory if you don’t mind if I one little brag is you know I’m I’m I’m in Barnes and Noble now with self esteem regime and my last name being Burt I’m like right next to Tonya Brown.

00:11:57:15 – 00:12:16:07

Clarissa Burt

Brené Brown. These are girls and Oprah. I’m right next to Deepak Chopra and Dr. Joe Dispenser. So you can imagine that for me to be like, you know, on the shelf with the titans of the personal development industry, it’s, it’s it’s it’s come full circle for me. Let’s just put it that way.

00:12:16:07 – 00:12:35:14

Nick McGowan

I bet it’s kind of humbling at times to think I can even see I can see in your face now where it’s still like that’s real, but it’s not something like if you do life right, you shouldn’t be able to script it. You shouldn’t be able to. You can think of these things and you can say, I want all this stuff.

00:12:35:14 – 00:12:45:21

Nick McGowan

But if you do it right and you actually put the energy out there, bigger things are going to happen, crazier things. So I love that for you. I mean, I get fucking chills just even thinking about that shit.

00:12:45:21 – 00:12:47:17

Clarissa Burt

Thanks. Thank you very much.

00:12:47:17 – 00:13:04:09

Nick McGowan

That’s so awesome. You also you talked about not trusting people and I. I want to get back to that because what I’m understanding from what you’re saying, it’s not a matter of not trusting, but it’s a matter of not just taking things at face value and just saying, well, this is kind of the gospel and that’s how I’m going to run with it.

00:13:04:16 – 00:13:20:06

Nick McGowan

And doing what you want with it, like what you’re doing to be able to say, Oh, well, you know, we got a thing against Italians here. I’m going to go to Italy and I’m going to go fucking sing and talk to people and be in front of people, all the anti things you don’t want me to do. So it’s interesting how you put that together.

00:13:20:14 – 00:13:32:10

Nick McGowan

Looking back at that now, thinking about how you don’t trust people or take things at face value, how do you how do you kind of walk through life thinking about that and exploring new adventures?

00:13:33:16 – 00:13:55:02

Clarissa Burt

Because I understand now, you know, I understand. I think I’m rather empathic as well. And I really want you know, when I was a kid, when I was kid in school, I didn’t really like going out to recess. I was never really the joiner. I tried that clicky stuff. It just wasn’t my gig. And so I would go out who’s out in the the playground?

00:13:55:02 – 00:14:13:19

Clarissa Burt

I would be with the underdog, the one kid that nobody wanted to have anything to do with making fun of and didn’t want to play with. Right after that, I started to go up to the kindergarten classes and I was like, second, third, fourth grade. And here I’m like, Oh, you know, because my because I found I found my import.

00:14:13:19 – 00:14:33:11

Clarissa Burt

And if you will, in helping everybody, the kids, helping the teacher mark papers, helping the kids by reading to them like whatever it was. I only had 45 minutes for recess, but that’s how I spent my time, you know. And so the idea that I think it was about taking taking the high road and I just created this little acronym.

00:14:33:11 – 00:14:57:04

Clarissa Burt

I love my little acronym and it’s it’s, it’s honesty, integrity, its greatness and honor. And I know I sound like, you know, I’m not a military brat. I’m just saying those four for me are values that if we could all bring to the table, like practice radical honesty, honesty with yourself and see with everybody else. Oh, my God, what kind of world would this be?

00:14:57:04 – 00:15:21:03

Clarissa Burt

Can you imagine what we’d be bringing to the table? Integrity. What your moral principles, your values. Like what they. This word in my vocabulary is integrity, greatness. And you can change that with gratitude if you want. You wanted to be gratitude. That’s great. We take the two G’s here. We don’t discriminate, and then it’s honor, you know, like, who are you when nobody else is in the room?

00:15:21:18 – 00:15:42:09

Clarissa Burt

I got to tell you a story. You love the stories. I’m going to tell you the story. So I’m doing I’m doing Survivor. And and I was already older. I’m like 53 already. And, you know, like, I’m and I’m like, I’m like, I didn’t want to even do the show, so I’m like, so in the background, my mother and my sister didn’t even think I was on the show for the first couple of weeks, couple of weeks.

00:15:42:22 – 00:16:06:20

Clarissa Burt

So we had, you know, the pretty the pretty girls in the bikinis, you know, the younger chicks were out and the in the four. Right. So we have to do this one exercise one day where we have to get on that helicopter. And so here we are at the helipad and the girls get the guy that, you know, the pilot of the helicopter and they go, can you go into the little, you know, hut over there and buy us something to eat because we’re in Nicaragua?

00:16:07:08 – 00:16:26:15

Clarissa Burt

And he goes and he comes back with this paper bag full of stuff to eat, right? So I’m in the front, the two girls are in the back and they’re like, Oh, thank you, thank you. You’re doing that. I get it. It’s cool, it’s fine. And they’re doing the whole thing and I’m in the front and I get this tap on my shoulder and I turn around and they’re handing me some of the food.

00:16:27:13 – 00:16:52:07

Clarissa Burt

And I went, Oh, no thanks, thanks, thanks, no thanks. Now, I hadn’t eaten in weeks. I had literally lost £20 on this island while I was there. But there were rules to the game and and it was honesty and dishonesty. What was the right thing to do and what is the right thing to do? I mean, I was hungry and anybody would have ever known the three of us.

00:16:52:07 – 00:17:17:15

Clarissa Burt

I would have known and they would have known. So when I said no thank you, it immediately it immediately there was this like divide. Because, remember, the game is all about winning, right? It’s about telltale tell you no telling on everybody. I tell him, honey, buddy, you can do whatever you want. I don’t agree. But it they they they they looked at me differently because they were like, oh, my gosh, she’s going to say something.

00:17:17:15 – 00:17:36:09

Clarissa Burt

She’s going to tell on us. We’re going to be in big trouble for who the hell does she think she is? You know, like there was this there was a couple of different ways that this whole thing on down. And I still to this day can look at myself in the mirror and know that I always I always at least try imperfect am I.

00:17:36:14 – 00:17:39:14

Clarissa Burt

But I always try to take the high road.

00:17:39:14 – 00:17:52:05

Nick McGowan

That’s huge. And what a test in that moment. I mean, it’s probably easier to be able to talk about it now because you’re not in that temptation moment, but in that moment you’re like, it’s been a while like, Oh my God, I couldn’t even imagine.

00:17:52:15 – 00:18:10:16

Clarissa Burt

It’s awesome. It was awesome. No, it was great. It was a great mom is a great testament to my son, to me, for myself. You know, sometimes you have to really you know, we have our accolades on our successes and we’re doing good at it. But when is it that you really ever prove your true self to your true self.

00:18:11:21 – 00:18:22:22

Nick McGowan

Or at least show your true self to yourself? So throughout that time, what did you learn in managing your mindset through that then? Yeah, I can almost guarantee it’s shaped you in some sort of way. So how did that shape you?

00:18:23:19 – 00:18:44:02

Clarissa Burt

You know, I think in that instance it was I was extremely proud. I knew that, you know, you know, it’s always easy to lie is always easy to take, you know, the easy way out. Just an easier thing to do. It’s not necessarily the honest thing to do. It’s not the thing that, you know, it’s not full of integrity when you take the easy way out.

00:18:44:02 – 00:19:03:12

Clarissa Burt

It’s not a way of living in greatness. And certainly it has nothing to do with honor. I like being I like being thought of as a woman of honor. And I think if if more people were coming to the table with, you know, really strong values and living by them, you know, like swearing by them, like I will like I’m drawing a line in the cement.

00:19:03:19 – 00:19:26:10

Clarissa Burt

I’m not drawing a line in the sand. Do you know what I mean? It’s a whole different mindset. The whole gig is like, you know, you get up in the morning with your inspiration and your motivation and you’re you’re working out, you’re doing all the things you got. Your affirmation affirmations are great. My books full of affirmations, but one, you can really live by the values, this true values that you set for yourself.

00:19:27:01 – 00:19:30:07

Clarissa Burt

You’re bringing a better you to you and you’re bringing a better you to everyone else.

00:19:30:22 – 00:19:49:16

Nick McGowan

Big time. Yeah, it’s a principle centered life. That’s what it’s about. And I think it breaks out in a couple of different pieces to that recipe, though, where people need to understand that there are the principles and then they need to understand what their own principles are and then how to use them. And it’s not one of those things, like you’d mentioned education.

00:19:49:22 – 00:20:06:07

Nick McGowan

It’s not something that’s talked about in schools. At least it wasn’t in Delco. We’re not your generation, not mine. They didn’t talk about that stuff or teach you how to learn or to look through the fallacies and the bullshit through it. So where do you think you got that? Was that something that was innate inside of you or.

00:20:06:21 – 00:20:29:07

Clarissa Burt

I understood it well. I think I understood from earlier, early age that it really hurts when somebody is lying, cheating and stealing from you or, you know, cheating on you were lying to you or or, you know, defaming you in any way. Defaming, defaming, whatever the word, proper word is. It just hurts. You know, it really hurts. I it’s not stand up and it, you know, it hurts you to the core.

00:20:29:07 – 00:20:45:06

Clarissa Burt

So I think from that, obviously the greatest things some of the greatest things in life have grown from an immense amount of pain. And you have to understand, you can take pain in two different directions. You know, you can take it right or left. You can take it right or wrong. There’s this really no other way around it.

00:20:46:01 – 00:21:10:05

Clarissa Burt

And I understood it from a very early on. I think also what loyalty is. And, you know, loyalty is when you have somebody back behind their back neck, that’s a huge one. Loyalty is right up there with, you know, honesty, integrity, greatness and honor. Loyalty is you. If you can stand at the call, you know, the the water cooler and just jumping on the tribe mentality and, you know, be trash and Susie.

00:21:10:05 – 00:21:28:01

Clarissa Burt

Q Okay, but can you stand there and say, you know what, guys, I know Susie Q and I don’t know. I think she’s kind of great. So maybe she was just having a bad day that day, like advocate for someone else. Maybe she’s just having a bad day to day or, you know, like, have we walked a mile and Susie Q Shoes, have you done that?

00:21:28:08 – 00:21:49:18

Clarissa Burt

Because until you do that, you can’t you can’t really. So you know, the whole loyalty piece when when you do that again, you’re setting yourself apart from the tribe. So remember that the longest mile neck is always sorry, the longest mile is always also the most lonely mile. It can be the most treacherous mile, but it’s definitely the most lonely.

00:21:50:01 – 00:22:06:07

Clarissa Burt

So if you want a lot of times, you know, in order to be in leadership roles and have a really, really strong, positive mindset, it can be a little lonely. A little lonely. So are you ready for that? Are you ready for that?

00:22:06:20 – 00:22:25:05

Nick McGowan

I’m glad you bring that up, because I feel like our audience experiences that at times, which at certain times will also usher in imposter syndrome. Where you go, shit, should I be here? My supposed to be? And I think for the most part, everybody I’ve talked to, it’s like if you really get to the core of it, they’re like, We all don’t know what the fuck is going on right now.

00:22:25:14 – 00:22:41:12

Nick McGowan

We’re just trying to do the best we can. Yeah. And it’s a matter of stemming from those principles because when you’re in those different moments, like, we can talk a great game about things, but it’s not until you’re in the moment where you actually have to show up and you have to be Integris or you have to have honor.

00:22:41:13 – 00:22:50:15

Nick McGowan

You have to do that. So if we were to take a little bit of a step back and you could see that somebody is right about to walk into that, what sort of advice would you tell them as they’re about to walk into that.

00:22:51:15 – 00:23:13:02

Clarissa Burt

Manager and social and emotional intelligence? Because imposter syndrome is nothing more than I’m doing good and I just don’t feel like I’m good enough to tell myself I am, because many other people might might give you the accolades and the compliments and the pats on the back. And you still notwithstanding, you’re going to you know, you want to crap all over yourself and saying, you know, I just don’t, you know, see what they see.

00:23:13:03 – 00:23:32:22

Clarissa Burt

What do they see that I don’t see? Because it doesn’t feel that way to me. So when you’re managing your, you know, your emotional intelligence, your it’s your ability to interpret and understand your emotions and the sensations in your body. It’s also I don’t know, I just think it’s just it’s it’s so damn important also because you learn your triggers, what does trigger new?

00:23:32:22 – 00:23:49:22

Clarissa Burt

And then it’s like self awareness, self regulation, and you have to be able to, you know, love yourself enough. And that’s where the self-esteem principles come in. You know, when four pillars are look good, feel good, be good and greater good. And when you’re, you know, with luck when you’re looking good, we all know that’s, you know, like self-esteem 1 to 1.

00:23:49:22 – 00:24:05:07

Clarissa Burt

But, you know, you get a little lilt in your step when, you know, you’re you know, you’re you know, you’re looking pretty good. You know, the fit. Nice. You’re looking you’re looking good. Look good. Feel good, feel good. Diet, exercise, nutrition at all, wear and brain health. Now that you know how it all works together and now taking care be good.

00:24:05:07 – 00:24:25:02

Clarissa Burt

What do you do with your relationships? How you do in leadership? How you doing with finances and everything else that is going on around in your life? And and then we have the greater good and that is where you tie there. You pay it forward, pay it back, you know, volunteer, do something good for somebody else. So when you’re doing all that stuff, this is the way you can’t be feeling good about yourself.

00:24:25:02 – 00:24:46:04

Clarissa Burt

Like to really give yourself, give you something to love yourself first. And we, you know, we use mirror therapy in the book. And I didn’t create it. I learned the work from Louise Hays and even Jack Canfield had it in some of his works. When you get in front of the mirror and you start getting in your own face and you start saying, Hey, listen, I just wanted to tell you, I think you’re pretty damn amazing.

00:24:46:04 – 00:25:03:17

Clarissa Burt

And I love you and I do forgive you. Tell you that one time that you did or you said or whatever or that other. I forgive you too. So I forgive you. I love you. You’re amazing. See you next time. I mean, you’re looking right in your own eyes. You’re digging down into your own you, into your own soul, don’t we?

00:25:04:04 – 00:25:22:20

Clarissa Burt

They don’t. They call it self esteem for a reason, because you’re not supposed to be waiting for everybody else, you know, to be filling your self esteem. It’s your work. It’s it’s your self is supposed to work. Don’t forget what everybody else it’s none of your business what everybody else thinks about. You’ve heard this a million times about your business where everybody else thinks about you.

00:25:23:09 – 00:25:29:04

Clarissa Burt

It’s your business, though, to know what you think about you. So Idaho and down, really good on all the emotional intelligence pieces.

00:25:29:23 – 00:25:47:01

Nick McGowan

Yeah, that’s a great point. And I think to add on what you were just saying about looking at yourself at that point, a lot of people will just pop on to social media and it’s difficult to be able to look at yourself when you’re looking at other people, share what seems like magical moments in their life, and you’re just thumbing through and thumbing through and thumbing through.

00:25:47:08 – 00:26:03:12

Nick McGowan

It’s almost like at times we fucking make it so much difficult, so much more difficult for ourselves instead of just being able to kind of pull out from that. So I’m glad that you bring up being able to talk to yourself in the mirror. I’ve talked to different clients about their friends, even where they’re like, I don’t want to want to do that.

00:26:03:12 – 00:26:07:10

Nick McGowan

I’m like, You can try it. Try it and then come back to me and tell me what you think.

00:26:07:14 – 00:26:09:14

Clarissa Burt

To a minute. You know you have to like it.

00:26:09:22 – 00:26:26:01

Nick McGowan

I’ve never had anybody come back and be like, Yo, I was a complete moron. Because even if they were, they were like, But I loved me and I talked through things and here I am standing in my bathroom. My wife’s like, What are you doing? So it’s always interesting how that stuff works, but it takes us actually doing that work.

00:26:26:11 – 00:26:30:00

Nick McGowan

So what is your daily work look like as you do your deep work?

00:26:30:15 – 00:26:53:15

Clarissa Burt

Yeah, my deeper work is, you know, meditation or meditation in the morning. Definitely. I try to get at least a 30 minute workout in the morning, you know, when I can. Sometimes I’m really too slammed because I start working with Europe first thing in the morning as well, because I got a lot of that going on. So depending on what that day looks like, I will try to get that 30 minutes and definitely the water, all the healthy stuff, you know, all that, making sure that all happens.

00:26:53:15 – 00:27:13:05

Clarissa Burt

And then I’ll allow myself to have a little bit of junk food every once in a while because perfect. I am not. But and then I have found recently, especially in different case scenarios, especially with work, where people have gone behind my back, you know, people, people are people. And, you know, you you just got to love them where they’re at.

00:27:13:14 – 00:27:30:02

Clarissa Burt

And so and I didn’t always do that. You know, I was I was zero 60 and 2 seconds. Look, I got, you know, I could get my Irish up just like as quickly as anybody else. You know, you get your Irish up at the minute, get your gander up means go and you go from 0 to 60 and you tell somebody exactly what you think about them.

00:27:30:03 – 00:27:48:20

Clarissa Burt

Yeah. Don’t do that anymore. Yeah, yeah, we don’t do that. I don’t do that anymore. So I stop, I, you know, I stop, I drop. I think, you know, I think it through. And I come from again, I go back up to taking the high road again, living in honor and honesty and integrity. And how would I want to be treated as well?

00:27:49:02 – 00:28:06:00

Clarissa Burt

Because people are you know, people are faulty. We are all faulty and we are going to make mistakes. I talk about boundaries and when I talk about boundaries, people think, oh, my God, you got to get upset, pissed off and let everybody know, you know, you can do these doing guru and let everybody know how it is and you will and will not be treated.

00:28:06:00 – 00:28:27:13

Clarissa Burt

That’s kind of like the gig right there. Right. So, you know, that is really important. Also for me, it was like, well, how do I want to be treated? If somebody was yelling and screaming at me, that doesn’t feel so good. I remember it. It’s not cool. And I had a completely and that’s what I learned. I learned that anger was the way to get everything across.

00:28:27:22 – 00:28:52:09

Clarissa Burt

I had to unlearn that. You know, it’s like my first chapter. My first chapter in here is release. What do you need to unlearn? So I had to unlearn all that stuff in order to chapter to rebuild. So I mean, it’s pretty sage, it’s a deconstruction. It’s just deconstruct and reconstruct, simple as that. And sometimes you have to do that on the daily and sometimes you might have to do it on the hourly.

00:28:52:20 – 00:29:08:02

Clarissa Burt

You know, people say to me, I just read the book what I do because I have a mastermind. I read the book already. Why I have to read it again? I don’t know. Do you think you have anything you need to release in the last year since you read it last, you know? Or do you have to kind of rebuild anything at all in the last years since you read it last?

00:29:08:02 – 00:29:10:19

Clarissa Burt

So yeah, that’s huge.

00:29:10:19 – 00:29:31:16

Nick McGowan

I always appreciate hearing more depth of the story that led to a book because we as audience and listeners and readers only get the actual tangible book with the actual, you know, digital copy of it, but not the actual story that led through each and every chapter. So what did you learn as you went through it?

00:29:32:04 – 00:29:55:04

Clarissa Burt

We will tell you something just real quick. We allow me to read something that’s really quick. So it comes from the acknowledgments. I want to acknowledge the millions of people who all over the world have been abandoned, abused, beaten, hit, struck, oppressed, depressed, distressed, held back, lied to, cheated on, lost, betrayed, deceived, misled, double crossed, walked out on.

00:29:55:04 – 00:30:09:20

Clarissa Burt

Stabbed in the back, sold down the river, stolen from deserted, discarded, shunned, cast out, dropped, dumped, forgotten, neglected, rejected, and or dejected. Do you think there’s anybody on the planet that this isn’t a good book?

00:30:09:20 – 00:30:17:05

Nick McGowan

For pretty sure you covered everybody living or dead everybody you know.

00:30:17:15 – 00:30:36:22

Clarissa Burt

So again, you know, some of us came from phenomenal backgrounds and greatest parents on the planet, and some of us were completely abandoned and left for dead, you know, so everyone has their story. And you the most beautiful thing about I think about all this is that you get you know, you get to be you like, how damn lucky are you?

00:30:37:02 – 00:30:51:12

Clarissa Burt

You get to be you, you know, your higher resource universe. You know your higher whatever you believe in that they knew exactly what they were doing. They created you. You have no right it all be second guessing what they did. So just get on with it.

00:30:51:12 – 00:30:52:23

Nick McGowan

That’s all out there.

00:30:52:23 – 00:31:10:02

Clarissa Burt

You that’s. Yeah, exactly. That’s why I call that a regime because the regime is an organic ized way of doing things. Just do it. Do the damn work. You put your big boy britches on you put your big girl britches on and do the work. It’s going to be scary. It’s going to be scary. It’s going to take some courage.

00:31:10:05 – 00:31:14:18

Clarissa Burt

Lots of courage. But you know what the what? Just do what.

00:31:15:09 – 00:31:31:16

Nick McGowan

And what a pivotal moment, I think, for the most part, people that are listening to this show have had one or a couple of those moments, kind of where you get fucking pissed at yourself and you’re done. You’re like, I’m done, I’m done living like this. I’m done feeling this way. I’m done thinking about this, I’m fucking done.

00:31:31:23 – 00:31:33:11

Nick McGowan

And then moving along from there.

00:31:33:19 – 00:31:34:09

Clarissa Burt

I’m out.

00:31:35:18 – 00:31:41:07

Nick McGowan

So from that point, being able to kind of walk toward their path to self-mastery, what sort of advice would you give somebody?

00:31:41:19 – 00:31:45:16

Clarissa Burt

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it.

00:31:46:07 – 00:31:47:11

Nick McGowan

Beautiful way to put that.

00:31:47:16 – 00:32:10:13

Clarissa Burt

Just that simple. You know, we’re always looking at what’s going on and everybody else’s backyard, what’s going on. Like don’t shit happen in your own backyard, dammit. Just no self esteem 1 to 1. Comparing yourself to everybody else. We talked about self esteem about social media before 99.9%, 89.9%. Of what we’re looking at, the social media ain’t real.

00:32:11:08 – 00:32:36:01

Clarissa Burt

It’s perception. It’s the you know, it’s the Airbnb feed villa that was rented. It’s the, you know, Lamborghini and the Ferrari that were rented for the day. I’m not saying everybody, but we know who they are. Right? It’s the perception. It’s what they want you to believe. And, you know, again, self esteem right now, how much self esteem do you have to have or lack of that lack thereof to be renting your life for a day?

00:32:36:19 – 00:32:52:14

Clarissa Burt

You know, be careful with that stuff. Yeah, that’s really cool. I love that Lambo. And you know, I actually I want the Bentley in the garage, you know. But we all would love to have lovely things and finer things. But is but are we is can you buy your self esteem on a hanger at Nordstrom’s? Is that what that’s all about?

00:32:52:14 – 00:33:02:03

Clarissa Burt

I’m not saying that’s not great stuff. It’s all great stuff. But, you know, it’s you know, you coming from the right place when you’re you know, when you’re doing that, when you’re just you know, I get the point.

00:33:04:00 – 00:33:14:00

Nick McGowan

I get it totally. And I can tell you’re at the point where you’re like, if you ever got the fucking point by now, just go back and listen. Just start over. Just hit play from the top and you totally get the point.

00:33:14:00 – 00:33:15:17

Clarissa Burt

Me I’ll just go read the book. Yeah.

00:33:16:00 – 00:33:27:01

Nick McGowan

Just start over. So good. Caruso, I appreciate you being on. I appreciate the conversation, the depth. You’re so wonderful to talk to. Hey, where. Where can people find you and where can they connect with you?

00:33:27:08 – 00:33:40:22

Clarissa Burt

Yeah, well, we can definitely find me anywhere except Snapchat. I’m just not a Snapchat kind of gal, so, um. Oh, do you know how it works? But just Clarissa about straight down the, you know, straight down the pike. Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram. Clarissa Burt bought me.

00:33:41:23 – 00:33:46:22

Nick McGowan

Perfect and all that will be in the show notes again. It’s been a pleasure. Thank you so much for your time so much.

00:33:46:22 – 00:33:47:16

Clarissa Burt

I appreciate it.

00:33:49:06 – 00:34:12:10

Nick McGowan

Another great conversation on today’s episode of The Mindset and Self-mastery show. So what did you think of the show today? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Check out the Instagram or Facebook page to join the conversation. If you enjoyed the episode, please jump over to iTunes and subscribe rate and leave a five star review that helps us be found and helps others be healed.

00:34:12:10 – 00:34:33:02

Nick McGowan

If this episode opened your eyes, made you think or smile at all, then I’m sure it’ll do the same for your friends. Check out the show notes for more info from today’s episode and. Check out other episodes on The Mindset and Self-mastery show dot com as well as our YouTube channel. Just go to YouTube and look up the mindset and self-mastery show.

00:34:33:17 – 00:34:51:01

Nick McGowan

Thanks again to our incredible guests for being real, honest and vulnerable with us today. I’d like to thank our sponsors and most importantly, I’d like to thank you, thank you for hanging out with us today. Your support means the world to us. And with that, remember, your mindset matters and so do you.