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The Session: 5 Ways to Avoid Awkward Conversations at Christmas
5 Tips To Avoid Awkward Conversations at the Holiday Table
We already sense the looming train wreck. Our hearts pump harder, forehead veins twitch. We can hear the screams of rage followed by stony silence … while scorched apple pie smoke stings our nostrils. The season is upon us: the time of holiday dinners, with heaping helpings of awkward conversations.
Awkward conversations gravitate to the dinner table, returning unwanted year after year. Chances are, your family’s holiday meals lie somewhere on the awkwardness spectrum, between Aunt Bethany’s Pledge of Allegiance prayer from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and the “milking animals” discussion from Meet the Parents.
Holiday meals are some of the worst times to hash out drama or have deep discussions about sensitive topics. Yet family feasts seem to inevitably include a side of political rants, gross medical stories, inappropriate jokes, or the rehashing of family drama.
Every year we convince ourselves it’ll be different, that somehow our celebratory meal will be full of joy, peace, and normal conversation. How do things go so horribly wrong? Could we all truly get along—even if only for 30 minutes of face-stuffing glory?
Avoiding the awkward conversations at your holiday table
My wife has a phobia of flying, so she’s obsessed with plane crashes on TV. Not for the tragedies (she’s not a monster!), but for the solutions. Experts investigate every single aviation accident to determine the cause, fix it, and avoid it happening again. The process gives my wife just enough confidence to tiptoe warily onto a plane every couple of years or so.
Similarly, our awkward conversations (and family blowups) also have a cause and preventable solution. So, let’s dig in. Here are five tips to turn the tables on those awkward conversations and set your family up for a comfortable, peaceful meal.
1. Set the table.
The average person, I’ve Googled, can endure 10 seconds of silence. We’re so averse to the absence of conversation that we’ll turn to anything—including awkward stuff—just to have something to say.
Combat the silence by planning out the conversation ahead of time, creating some questions for everyone to talk about during dinner. Heck, print them out and laminate them if you’re feeling Martha Stewart-y! Holidays meals are a great place to reflect on what we’re thankful for or to remember fun family moments. Ask about highlights from the past year, favorite movie or TV show, and let the questions lead. Also, consider “priming the pump” by asking certain family members ahead of time to tell a funny story during the meal. “Hey, don’t forget when we’re all together to tell us about that time when…”
2. Hire the opposition.
In some families, awkward conversations often erupt from one or two lovable troublemakers. If that’s the case for you, consider giving them a role during the meal to keep them occupied. If “idle hands are the devil’s workshop” (Proverbs 16:27, TLB), why not put those hands to work for you instead of against you? As a bonus, delegating responsibilities during the meal frees you up to do some conversation wrangling.
GET OUR FREE DOWNLOAD OF THANKFULNESS ACTIVITIES FOR FAMILIES
3. Debone arguments ahead of time.
“I have a bone to pick with you,” was my mom’s favorite foray
To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.
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By Tom Russell & Scott Saunders
5 Tips To Avoid Awkward Conversations at the Holiday Table
We already sense the looming train wreck. Our hearts pump harder, forehead veins twitch. We can hear the screams of rage followed by stony silence … while scorched apple pie smoke stings our nostrils. The season is upon us: the time of holiday dinners, with heaping helpings of awkward conversations.
Awkward conversations gravitate to the dinner table, returning unwanted year after year. Chances are, your family’s holiday meals lie somewhere on the awkwardness spectrum, between Aunt Bethany’s Pledge of Allegiance prayer from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and the “milking animals” discussion from Meet the Parents.
Holiday meals are some of the worst times to hash out drama or have deep discussions about sensitive topics. Yet family feasts seem to inevitably include a side of political rants, gross medical stories, inappropriate jokes, or the rehashing of family drama.
Every year we convince ourselves it’ll be different, that somehow our celebratory meal will be full of joy, peace, and normal conversation. How do things go so horribly wrong? Could we all truly get along—even if only for 30 minutes of face-stuffing glory?
Avoiding the awkward conversations at your holiday table
My wife has a phobia of flying, so she’s obsessed with plane crashes on TV. Not for the tragedies (she’s not a monster!), but for the solutions. Experts investigate every single aviation accident to determine the cause, fix it, and avoid it happening again. The process gives my wife just enough confidence to tiptoe warily onto a plane every couple of years or so.
Similarly, our awkward conversations (and family blowups) also have a cause and preventable solution. So, let’s dig in. Here are five tips to turn the tables on those awkward conversations and set your family up for a comfortable, peaceful meal.
1. Set the table.
The average person, I’ve Googled, can endure 10 seconds of silence. We’re so averse to the absence of conversation that we’ll turn to anything—including awkward stuff—just to have something to say.
Combat the silence by planning out the conversation ahead of time, creating some questions for everyone to talk about during dinner. Heck, print them out and laminate them if you’re feeling Martha Stewart-y! Holidays meals are a great place to reflect on what we’re thankful for or to remember fun family moments. Ask about highlights from the past year, favorite movie or TV show, and let the questions lead. Also, consider “priming the pump” by asking certain family members ahead of time to tell a funny story during the meal. “Hey, don’t forget when we’re all together to tell us about that time when…”
2. Hire the opposition.
In some families, awkward conversations often erupt from one or two lovable troublemakers. If that’s the case for you, consider giving them a role during the meal to keep them occupied. If “idle hands are the devil’s workshop” (Proverbs 16:27, TLB), why not put those hands to work for you instead of against you? As a bonus, delegating responsibilities during the meal frees you up to do some conversation wrangling.
GET OUR FREE DOWNLOAD OF THANKFULNESS ACTIVITIES FOR FAMILIES
3. Debone arguments ahead of time.
“I have a bone to pick with you,” was my mom’s favorite foray
To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.