The Session: Grandparents Parenting Their Grandchildren - Parenting for Faith

Proverbs 22:6

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Scott and Tom’s memories of their grandparents

3 Truths That Every Grandparent Should Know

1. You are influential – whether you know it or not

Think back to your childhood. Can you remember your grandparents? What is it about them that still influences you today? Although I have never seen them play, my grandad’s passion for Sheffield United means that they are still ‘my’ team. I feel attached to Camberwell in South London because my grandma lived there. And I still believe that roast lamb is the right dinner to serve for a family get together because my other grandma told me so! Children are shaped by their families, as they watch and learn, pick up some things and discard others.

Karl Pillemer, of Cornell University, reported that ‘as many as 9 out of 10 adult grandchildren feel their grandparents influenced their values and behaviors’. And the influence of grandparents isn’t just limited to value and behaviors. Other researchers have shown that grandparents are good for their grandchildren’s mental and emotional health, and help to improve resilience and encourage pro-social behavior and better peer relationships. It seems that simply by existing and being known, who you are and what you do influences your grandchildren.

2. Connection is key (relationship building )

Grandparents and grandchildren seem to be set up to connect well: there’s an expectation of love and interest from children which means that even if they regard every other grey-haired person on the planet as irrelevant, they do crave connection with their grey-haired grandparents. Grandparents will often talk about how overwhelming their love is for their grandchildren; how special they are and how they love them unconditionally.

Being in a close relationship with someone who loves you enables all sorts of good things: not just the pure enjoyment of each other’s company, but the freedom to be vulnerable, the courage to trust, and the willingness to learn from each other. We are ready to be influenced by people we trust and love and open to learn from their experiences and wisdom. So the closer you are to your grandchildren, the better positioned you will be to share all the good things you have with your grandchildren, including and meeting and knowing the God you love.

3. No-one said it would be easy – but God is able to work through every circumstance

No-one said it would be easy – and it rarely is! But God’s involved in all of it. His design has always been that grandparents are part of his design for helping grandchildren meet and know God – and that doesn’t change because your situation is less than ideal. He also knows what you can manage, and he won’t demand more of you than you are capable of – and he does have a plan. Be encouraged. Whatever it looks like on the outside, God’s not finished with your family yet.  As you pray for your grandchildren and their families, keep asking God for your next step. He’s on the case! 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: 5 People to Surround Yourself With 

By Dan Orlovsky, on All Pro Dads.com

Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

 1. People Who Will Challenge You

We all spend time with like-minded people. It’s easy. It’s where we find comfort. 

• Small groups are a boost in confidence
• It can be very helpful to hear another perspective on what you are thinking. It presents you with opportunities to analyze what you believe and why.

2. Someone Just Ahead of You in Life

It is vitally important to have someone more experienced than you are in your life. The value of this is priceless because you can go to them when life throws you a curve ball.

Being coachable is a very important part of having someone coach or mentor you in life.

3. Someone Just Behind You in Life

Finding someone to mentor and reaching out to them is very important for our growth.

4. An Encourager

We all have bad days, and maybe even bad seasons. That’s why we all need someone in our life to lift us up when things get hard. For me, that’s primarily my wife. But I also have great friends.

Paul writes about the gift of encouragement in Romans 12:8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

5. A Dreamer

Surround yourself with people who dreams of what could be. They’re inspiring and motivational.

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Words We Shouldn’t Use, from Tom’s daily devotionals on Facebook 

The words we say are very powerful. It’s amazing what happens when someone says a blessing over you. It is capable of lifting your spirits or encouraging you when you’re feeling down.

The words we use are also very reflective of what is going on in a person’s heart. Matthew 15:11 teaches, “It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.” 

Paul also mentions it in Ephesians 4:29

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Later in Ephesians 5:4 Paul not only talks about no filthiness or foolishness coming out of our mouths, but that we should speak words of thanksgiving.

He writes, “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”

Proverbs also encourages us to bless others. In Proverbs 11:25 we read,

“Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.”

Later Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Although there are more words we shouldn’t use, here is a short list of some very important ones.

“Liar” is a good example of a word that should not be used in family relationships, and specifically in parent- child relationships. Being called a liar can be hurtful and impact a loved one’s reputation. A better way to process what a child might have said is to say, “This doesn’t make sense to me”, or “That doesn’t sound accurate.” 

Using the term “lazy" can be very derogatory, expressing a low opinion of someone. What appears as “laziness” might actually be influenced by factors such as mental health, burnout, or simply not finding a task sufficiently compelling. This would make it even more hurtful if you use the term lazy with an individual struggling with mental health or burnout conditions.

 Calling someone “stupid” is a very condescending and insulting way to speak to someone, as if they were ignorant. Condescension is rude and patronizing. Treating someone with condescension is the opposite of treating them with respect.

Action Point:

What is the condition of your heart? How are you speaking to others?

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session:  7 habits of men who have quietly lost their joy in life, according to psychology        

by Isabella Chase | May 22, 2025  Posted on Global English Editing.com

 There’s a subtle distinction between being content and truly joyful.

This divide often goes unnoticed, especially by those who’ve slowly, but surely, lost their zest for life. These men might seem fine on the surface, but beneath that veneer, their joy has faded into a mere memory.

Psychology gives us insights into these quiet transformations. And it’s crucial to identify them, not only in others but also in our own lives.

Understanding these seven habits can help us spot the signs and bring back the happiness that may have slipped away unnoticed.

In this article, we’ll explore the 7 habits of men who have quietly lost their joy in life, according to psychology. Get ready to dive deep into the human psyche and perhaps, find a path that leads back to joy.

 1) The joyless routine

Life is full of routines. We get up, get ready, go to work, come home, and do it all over again. But when joy has begun to fade, these routines can become chains that bind men to a joyless existence.

These men often find themselves stuck in a cycle of repetition, where every day seems to blur into the next. They’re just going through the motions, without finding any real pleasure or satisfaction in what they do.

For men who have lost their joy in life, the present moment is often a place they’d rather escape from.

Recognizing this habit is the first step towards regaining the lost joy. Breaking free from monotonous routines and finding new and engaging activities can reignite the spark that once made life enjoyable.

 2) Social withdrawal

I remember when my friend John started withdrawing from our social circle.

He was always the life of the party, but suddenly, he began declining invitations and spending more time alone. It was a slow change, hardly noticeable at first, but it eventually became a habit.

Social withdrawal is a common sign of decreased joy in life. This isolation can be self-imposed as an attempt to avoid feelings of discomfort or dissatisfaction.

But as Carl Jung once said, “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself.”

In John’s case, he had lost the ability to share his feelings and connect with others on a deeper level. His joy had faded, replaced by a sense of detached loneliness.

If you notice this habit in yourself or in someone you care about, remember that reaching out and creating connections can be a powerful antidote to this isolation. Rekindling old friendships, starting new ones, or even seeking professional help can make a world of difference.

 3) Disinterest in previously enjoyed activities

Have you ever found yourself losing interest in activities that once brought you immense joy? It’s a disconcerting feeling, one that creeps up on you without notice.

This is a common habit among men who have lost their joy in life. Activities that used to spark excitement now feel dull and uninteresting. The hobbies they used to love somehow lose their appeal.

For those experiencing this disinterest, it’s tough to see the beauty in the struggle when even their passions feel like chores.

If you fi

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Important Priorities in Christian Marriage, with highlights From Tommy McCallister and Others

Colossians 3:18-21

It is Important to:

• Prioritize the emotional needs of the marriage
• Prioritize the marriage over the children more than we do
• Prioritize going out of our way to do things that make our spouse feel happy and loved
• Prioritize our spouses love language. Taking an evening to ask what would love language would you want me to speak right now
• Prioritize home life over work
• Prioritize putting your favorite drink and getting comfortable and talking about any and everything
• Prioritize praying together. Couples who do have a divorce rate at 1 in every 1,152 marriages.
• Prioritizing flirting with your spouse
• Prioritizing valuing your spouse

Prioritizing celebrating your spouse 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session:  How to Keep Dating Your Spouse-Even After Kids

Genesis 2:24 - Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 

Proverbs 18:22 - He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. 

·         Be proactive and intentional in your marriage. Ask Jesus for help to be a successful marriage partner 

·         Rev up the five cylinder intimacy engine. 

·         Speak your spouse’s love language 

Prioritize revving up your bedroom Olympics 

·         Change your pattern of initiating sex (Opening Ceremonies) 

Hold hands more often 

·         Author Dr. Kory Floyd, wrote holding hands, hugging, and touching can release oxytocin causing a calming sensation. Studies show it’s also released during sexual orgasm. Additionally, physical affection reduces stress hormones – lowering daily levels of the stress hormone cortisol. 

Allow tension to build 

·         Our brains experience more pleasure when the anticipation of the reward goes on for some time before we receive it. So take your time during foreplay, share fantasies, change locations, and make sex more romantic. 

Separate sexual intimacy from routine 

·         Plan intimacy time and avoid talking about relationship problems and household chores in the bedroom. Sexual arousal plummets when we’re distracted and stressed. 

Focus on affectionate touch 

·         This could be foot rubs, and back, rubs their express love 

Maintain a sense of curiosity about sexual intimacy 

·         This can happen by breaking up the routine and try new things as sexual needs change 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Fundamentals of Christian Marriage

 Matthew 19:4-6  

He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

A Biblical Definition of Marriage

The Bible defines marriage as a sacred union between one man and one woman, established by God (Matthew 19:4-6). This relationship is a lifelong commitment, rooted in faithfulness and mutual love. Christian marriage is more than a legal agreement; it’s a covenant.

Love and Sacrifice: The Example of Christ

At the heart of a Christian marriage is love, modeled after the sacrificial love of Christ. Ephesians 5:25 calls on husbands to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This kind of love goes beyond emotions—it’s a daily choice to put the needs of your spouse above your own. Love in marriage is rooted in sacrifice, service, and grace, reflecting Christ’s selflessness. Both partners are called to give of themselves and serve one another in humility, displaying a marriage that thrives on mutual care and devotion.

Communication and Unity in Marriage

Effective communication is vital in building unity and understanding in marriage. Ephesians 4:29 encourages us to speak in ways that build each other up. Open and honest communication, rooted in kindness and respect, fosters deeper intimacy and trust between spouses. Unity is displayed when couples count the needs of one another as more significant than their own. Praying together, studying God’s Word, and building one another up in word and deed, allows couples to grow spiritually as one, strengthening their bond.

 Faithfulness and Trust: Building a Secure Relationship

Faithfulness in marriage mirrors God’s unwavering faithfulness to His people. Trust is essential for creating a secure relationship where both partners feel safe and valued.  Proverbs 3:3 says, "Let love and faithfulness never leave you."

Faithfulness and Trust: Building a Secure Relationship

Faithfulness in marriage mirrors God’s unwavering faithfulness to His people. Trust is essential for creating a secure relationship where both partners feel safe and valued.Proverbs 3:3 says, "Let love and faithfulness never leave you." 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: 5 Marks of a Biblical Marriage

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” ~ Genesis 2:24

1) Selflessness

A mark of a Godly Christian is their willingness to humble themselves and be selfless towards other. This is true especially in marriage, where we are called to be selfless to each other and put our spouses needs first. This is an effective way towards a happier marriage.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” ~ Philippians 2:3-8

The practice of selflessness, putting each other’s needs before your own, is very difficult, because by nature we are selfish beings. However, practically speaking, many benefits arise from both husband and wife mutually prioritizing the other’s needs. When both parties make an effort to please one another by putting their needs/wants/desires first, a magical thing happens: both husband and wife are getting there needs met.

2) Good Communication

Communication within marriage can be very difficult! Wires get crossed and simple words and sentences are taken far out of context, and strife (anger intense fellowship) starts to build. We say things rashly and without thinking to our spouses, and we leave them feeling hurt and we act selfishly towards them. But God calls us to a higher standard. We are to guard our mouths (Psalm 141:3), speak wisdom (Matthew 12:36-37), be slow to speak( Ecclesiastes 5:2) {especially angry words (James 1:19)}, and learn to communicate well with our spouse. 

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” ~Proverbs 15:1

 Communication is critical to any relationship, and doubly so in a marriage. Having good communication with friends and family is beneficial, sure, but how much more imperative is it that you have quality communication with the person that you are one with?

3) Spiritual Emphasis (together and separately)

Our highest calling as Christians is to know God and to glorify Him.We cannot do this effectively if we are not seeking the Lord individually and as a couple. It is so vital for the life of the believer to come before God alone and study His word and worship Him (2 Timothy 3:14-17). And it is also important to come before the Lord as a couple.

If our biggest priority in life should be Christ, and our second should be our husband and family, then how can we effectively worship the Lord if we don’t worship with our family? God designed the Christian life to be lived out in community and not in solitude. God’s community is the church and this first begins at home! Strong families can make up a strong church of believers. Likewise, weak and inconsistent families will make up a weak and inconsistent congregation.

• Pray together every night before bed
• Listen to sermons together
• Discuss sermons you listen together and Sunday morning sermons
• Read books together to grow in your knowledge and worship of God
• Continually ask how you can p

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: 4 Lessons We Can Learn about Biblical manhood from Joseph

 https://www.lcbcchurch.com/articles/4-lessons-we-can-learn-from-josephs-story 

Open with the Matthew account of Joseph, in Matt.1:18-24

1. Acknowledge the truth

Joseph acknowledged the truth. When we’re stuck at the bad end of someone else’s decisions, it’s all too easy to point the finger and place blame. We tend to take it a step further and cast judgement on an entire group of people when, in reality, we were only wronged by one person. If you were bullied by popular kids in middle school, for example, did you grow up seeing “all popular kids” as a threat? While these are understandable self-preservation instincts, are they actually true? 

Joseph was treated unfairly by so many people – enough that he could’ve made enemies out of the whole world! Instead, we see Joseph zero in on the individuals who specifically caused him pain. He doesn’t gloss over what was done, but he has enough wisdom to look at only the situation right in front of him without painting with broad strokes. 

Acknowledging the truth provided Joseph with clarity, and it can do the same for us. When we focus on what’s immediately in front of us, we can gain clarity that will help us treat our pain at the source. By recognizing the true source of our pain, we can begin the process of healing and transformation. 

2. “But God” 

When we’re dealing with pain – and especially when this pain is caused by someone else’s actions – it's easy for us to become angry about what we feel we don’t deserve. We become so fixated on what’s right in front of us that we don’t easily see the bigger picture. 

In the midst of his trials, Joseph chose to embrace a powerful perspective shift. He turned his gaze away from his pain and toward God, saying, "But God intended it all for good." Joseph chooses to surrender and trust in a higher plan.  

While it may be difficult to comprehend the purpose behind our suffering, choosing to adopt a "But God" perspective allows us to step back and acknowledge that our story is not solely defined by the hurt we've experienced. By handing our pain over to God, we open ourselves to the possibility of growth, transformation, and redemption. 

3. Trust God's plan

Joseph's story shows us what it looks like to trust in God's overarching plan. While he couldn't foresee the specifics of how his pain would lead to a greater purpose, Joseph held onto the belief that God was working behind the scenes.  

This step requires faith and vulnerability, as we release the need for immediate answers and outcomes. Trusting in a divine plan invites us to relinquish our desire for control and instead lean into the belief that our pain can be woven into a greater narrative that brings about good. 

4. Rely on God

Joseph relied on God. If you feel like you’re about to crumble under the weight of your circumstances, know that you don’t have to keep carrying it alone. When we can’t understand what’s happening or see the bigger picture in our pain, God is ready to carry us. 

Only God can bring you to the place of hope and healing you’re desperately searching for. Joseph’s story shows us that when we fix our gaze on God and choose to rely on him, even the heaviest situations can be made lighter. Remember that “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28). 

Additional Lessons

Don't expose your spouse in public 

·  When Joseph learned that his fiancée was pregnant, he decided to break the engagement without exposing his wife to the public (Matthew 1:19). He did not want to disgrace her and op

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session-Help For Boomerang Parents-Potential Benefits From Being a Boomerang Child, from Focus On The Family, FaithFI and others

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.  Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5.

In July 2020, 52% of young adults in the US resided with one or both of their parents, according to a Pew Research Center analysis – the highest percentage the United States has seen since the end of the Great Depression.

National Longitudinal Study Of Youth 1997

Found: The evidence that mental health and economic characteristics were related to home leaving and returning. Emotional distress was associated with earlier exits from, and returns to, the parental home; alcohol problems were associated with earlier returns to the parental home. The findings regarding economic resources were unexpectedly mixed. Greater economic resources were linked to delayed exits from, and earlier returns to, the parental home. The implications of these findings for young adults are discussed.

Key aspects of Christian help for boomerang parents: 

• Prayer and Spiritual Warfare: Praying for the child's well-being, direction, and maturity, and seeking God's wisdom in navigating the situation. This includes praying for the parent's patience, grace, and ability to discern God's will. 
• Biblical Principles: Applying biblical principles regarding family dynamics, obedience, respect, and financial responsibility. This may include encouraging the child to work towards financial independence and setting boundaries within the household. 
• Open Communication and Setting Expectations: Having open and honest conversations about expectations, roles, and responsibilities within the household. This may involve discussing financial contributions, chores, and rules for the home. 
• Fostering Independence: Encouraging the child to pursue their own goals, whether it's career advancement or personal development. This may involve supporting their efforts to find employment, complete education, or seek financial independence. 
• Seeking God's Guidance: Recognizing that God's ways are often higher than our own and trusting in His timing and plan. This includes surrendering the situation to God and trusting in His love and provision. 
• Turning to God's Word: Seeking wisdom and guidance from God's word (the Bible) for navigating the unique challenges of a boomerang situation. This can help parents find comfort and reassurance. 
• Family Counseling: Consider seeking guidance from a Christian counselor or mentor who can provide support and equip the family to navigate the situation. 
• Community Support: Connecting with other parents who have experienced similar situations through support groups or online communities can provide encouragement and practical advice. 

Practical Steps for Boomerang Parents: 

1. Establish Clear Boundaries: Set expectations for the child's role in the household, including chores, financial contributions, and responsibilities. 

2. Encourage Financial Responsibility: Help the child develop a budget, find employment, and work towards financial independence. 

3. Communicate Openly and Respectfully: Have regular check-ins with the child to discuss progress, address concerns, and build understanding. 

4. Pray Regularly: Pray for the child's well-being, direction, and maturity, and for the family's ability to navigate the situation with grace and patience. 

5. Seek God's Wisdom: Turn to God's Word for guidance and strength, and trust in His timing and plan for the situation. 

Potential Benefits From Being a Boomerang Child, from Jenna Ab

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.