The Session: Children of Divorce, an Overview of Research and Articles

Matthew 19:14, “Let the little children come to me.”

Children of divorce, living in two households face complex emotional, relational, and spiritual challenges. 

The Emotional Impact

• The impact of two houses has a direct hit or impact on the child’s security and stability
• The impact of two houses also causes a grieving process of the loss of having two biological parents in their house
• Children also feel torn between both houses. They fear showing allegiance to one. Parent may hurt the other parent.
• Children off, so feel hesitant and fearful of sharing their feelings in the two households because of the ramifications that could happen
• Often times children do not want to alienate the parent that appears to be hurt or could be hurt

The impact of divorce and two houses on a child relationship with God

• Children can struggle with issues a prayer, trust, and why did God allow this to happen to their family?

Coparenting Strategies for Healing

It is important for split families to focus on grace, forgiveness, and the child's well-being. 

Todd Taylor writes in his article, the Secret to Success in Christian Coparenting

• Christian parenting in a split-home environment requires focusing on grace, forgiveness, and the child's well-being. 
• The cornerstone of successful Christian co-parenting is always prioritizing your child’s physical and emotional well-being.

DLM Christian Lifestyle

• Daniel Maritz in DLM Christian Lifestyle states that broken families lead to broken societies 

Focus on the Family, One Child Two Homes, elaborates on the problems, children face

• They live a life of constant transition.
• Life has two sets of parents, two groups of siblings and two different beds. 
• It means switching between different rules and routines and having two homes yet often feeling as if he were not a part of either.
• Parents are often unaware of the stress a child endures when he’s shuffled between two homes.
• Children crave stability. In its absence, they may become territorial about their belongings and their space. Their “things” become their security.

Ways to help children of divorce living in two separate homes

• The major challenge is in having consistent rules between the two houses.
• It’s about making it safe for the children to talk and be heard
• It’s about providing as much stability as possible.
• It’s about security and consistency in their lives

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To reach Tom Russell, visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com or email Tom at [email protected]