The Session, Jan. 6, 2022 

Forgiveness, By Dr. Toussaint, Dr. Worthington and Dr. Williams

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” 

Forgiveness is

·  much more than letting go it’s actually being able to offer something positive, empathy, compassion and understanding

·  It does not mean letting the person off the hook. Forgiveness is not about justice or reconciliation

·  The abused does not reconcile with the abuser

·  Forgiveness does not affect injustice being done

·  Mental health benefits:

Reduced anxiety

Reduced depression

Physical illness

Reduced death rate

Increased stress relief

·  forgiveness allows us to let go of interpersonal stressors

·  Forgiveness impacts and helps toxic anger, which intern impacts the immune system in a healthy way

·  People who tend to ruminate tend to struggle with forgiveness more flexible people do better with forgiveness

·  Dr. Toussaint, Dr. Worthington and Dr. Williams found when forgiveness increases mental health symptoms decrease due to reduced stress

Want to dig in more?  Here's the long version of what we discussed:
Everett Worthington, PhD, had been studying forgiveness for nearly a decade when he was faced with the worst possible opportunity to put his research to the test: His mother was murdered in a home invasion. Though police were confident they'd identified the perpetrator, the man was never prosecuted. There was no justice. But despite the tragic nature of that loss, it didn't mean forgiveness was off the table.

"I had applied the forgiveness model many times, but never to such a big event," says Worthington, a professor of psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University. "As it turned out, I was able to forgive the young man quite quickly."

Worthington hardly describes himself as a superstar forgiver, however. Developing the skill took years of practice, he says. "I had a professor in grad school that gave me a B, and it took me 10 years to forgive that guy."

Most of us will never be faced with forgiving such a devastating offense as the murder of a loved one—an example of what Loren Toussaint, PhD, a professor of psychology at Luther College, in Decorah, Iowa, calls "heroic forgiveness." Yet nearly everyone can benefit from being more forgiving, Toussaint says.

Whether you've suffered a minor slight or a major grievance, learning to forgive those who hurt you can significantly improve both psychological well-being and physical health.

"Forgiveness is a topic that's psychological, social and biological," he adds. "It's the true mind-body connection."

What is forgiveness?

Many people think of forgiveness as letting go or moving on. But there's more to it than that, says Bob Enright, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, who pioneered the study of forgiveness three decades ago. True forgiveness goes a step further, he says, offering something positive—empathy, compassion, understanding—toward the person who hurt you. That element makes forgiveness both a virtue and a powerful construct in positive psychology.

Outside scientific circles, though, many people are a bit confused about the concept.

One common but mistaken belief is that forgiveness means letting the person who hurt you off the hook. Yet forgiveness is not the same as justice, nor does it require reconciliation, Worthington explains. A former victim of abuse shouldn't reconcile with an abuser who remains potentially dangerous, for example. But the victim can still come to a place of empathy and understanding. "Whether I forgive or don't forgive isn't going to affect whether justice is done," Worthington says. "Forgiveness

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.