Our celebration of Love Month continues with a conversation about keeping the spark sparking in your marriage!  With Tom laid up at home, the audio may sound a bit different.  Tom is on a zoom call with Scott in the studio.
Keeping The Romance Alive

Solomon 2:15

Catch the foxes for us, The little foxes that spoil and ruin the vineyards [of love], While our vineyards are in blossom.” 

Date your mate

• How often?
• Try revisiting dates you did in history
• 24 hour get aways

 From Focus on the Family 

• Go to the gym together.
• Walk with your spouse three to five times a week.
• Buy new clothes, and throw out those ugly sleep shirts/pajamas.
• Change habits. Helps you out of a rut and routine

 Communication (Focus on the Family)

 

• Do so in non-threatening, non-judgmental ways. 
• Let’s change how we treat each other. Let’s call each other during the day at work. 
• Let’s walk together each evening.” 
• Avoid using “you” statements. Use “I feel” or “I need” instead. Try writing a letter as an alternative to face to face communication, especially if you feel he or she will react negatively

 Sowing Importance 

• Specifically speak your mate’s love language 
• Doing goods things doesn’t necessarily require spending a lot of money. 
• Simple things, like picking up after yourself. 
• Giving a FREE back rub, 
• preparing dinner, 
• writing an appreciative note,

 Physical Intimacy (Dr. Gottman)

 Caution:  This content may not be suitable for younger readers

• Change your pattern of initiating sex. ...
• Hold hands more often. 
• Allow anticipation to build toward love making
• Separate sexual intimacy from routine.
• Carve out time to spend with your partner. ...
• Focus on affectionate touch. ...
• Practice being more emotionally vulnerable during sex.
• Experiment with new ways to bring pleasure to each other. Look at sex as an opportunity to get to know your partner better over time.
• Vary the position or foreplay - changes routine
• Make Sex a priority before TV.
• Relax first
• The good news is that allowing your partner to influence you can reignite the spark you once enjoyed.

 

Dr. Gottman reminds us that friendship is the glue that can hold a marriage together:

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.