Whether you are sending your kids to college, to marriage, or to life, this episode can help.  Tom & Scott also discuss the obvious question...how long do you wait before turning their room into a man cave?

 

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Ephesians 6:10

 

Breathe. 

Seriously. Inhale and exhale. Take a moment. Grab some quiet time. Saying goodbye for the first time is a life-changing, epic moment, but the world isn’t ending. No one is dying. Even though your heart might be telling you otherwise. 

 

Accept what you can’t control.

It’s been your job to protect and nurture and create a safe, loving environment for your kids. Sending them out in the world can be terrifying…but you’ve had 18 years to teach them.

 

Concentrate on what you did right.

Did I ingrain in him to stay pure, make good decisions, and put the Lord first? Did he realize that sometimes what seemed like small choices came with huge consequences? 

Over the years, you’ve done more right than wrong. Make a list of your strengths as a parent and trust that your words and actions have made a positive impact—even if you don’t see the results quite yet.

 

Open lines of communication.

If you’ve never felt comfortable being open and honest with your child, now’s the time to start. It isn’t too late to begin a dialogue, even if your only in-depth discussions thus far have been about your fantasy football draft. Make yourself available. Don’t waste your chance to deepen your relationship. From here on out, your relationship will supersede any rules you’ve laid down.   FaceTime and Zoom can be wonderful!

 

Be a safe place.

We all need shelter from the storms of life. Somewhere to vent. Somewhere to turn in a moment of confusion or panic or crisis. Somewhere to feel loved and safe. Especially when we’re out on our own for the first time. And the cool thing is, regardless of the miles between you and your child, you’re a text or a phone call away.  

 

Have a plan

Make a plan in the event something goes wrong at school. 

 

Make a prayer list.

Because it’s sometimes hard to breathe, accept what you can’t control, concentrate on what you did right, open the door for communication, make a plan, and be your kid’s safe place, take it to God. When you feel lost or worried or afraid or out of control, God doesn’t. 

 

Given Time, Plan Ahead! Prepare Them

· Give them more ownership when they are under your roof

· Develop a budget skill in them

· After giving ownership celebrate their success!

· If they have a car, teach them that it also needs oil 

 

After your child is in college and you are home missing your child.

· It’ll be very therapeutic to go through your photo album and reminisce some of the memories with that child.

· On some smart phones, there is an app to make a video with music. That could be helpful.

Scott’s question.  How long DO you wait before you make changes to their room?  Could this have some negative impact on them when they do come home to do laundry or for Christmas break?

 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.