Spoken For

The Sex Drought Survival Guide


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If you’ve ever found yourself in a long-term relationship that’s warm, loving, and somehow… completely lacking in sex, this one’s for you. Because every couple hits a dry spell. It’s normal, it’s fixable, and it’s a lot less about technique than it is about psychology, stress, and the tiny resentments that pile up between laundry and Netflix.


This week, we’re breaking the taboo - with humour, honesty, and a few science-backed ways to bring intimacy (and laughter) back into the room.


What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • The neuroscience of desire: how stress, cortisol, and routine quietly turn the lights down.

  • Why emotional resentment kills libido faster than time ever could.

  • How to talk about sex without it sounding like feedback or failure.

  • Why scheduling sex isn’t unsexy - it’s smart.

  • The “responsive desire” myth and how to work with your body, not against it.

  • Micro-flirtation: the small, daily cues that keep long-term desire alive.

  • The link between curiosity, novelty, and genuine connection (hint: it’s not about lingerie).


Episode Resources & Mentions:

  • Esther Perel – On erotic intelligence and the space between love and desire.

  • Dr. Emily Nagoski – Come As You Are: the science of stress and responsive desire.

  • John Gottman Institute – On emotional bids and the micro-moments that predict intimacy.

  • Tracey Cox – Sex and relationship expert on maintaining long-term spark.

  • Mating in Captivity (Esther Perel) – The book redefining eroticism in long-term love.

  • Research by Rosemary Basson – Female sexual response theory (responsive vs. spontaneous desire).


Key Takeaway:

A sex drought doesn’t mean something’s broken - it means something’s calling for attention. Desire isn’t a permanent state; it’s a living thing that needs laughter, curiosity, and care to survive. Start with connection, stay playful, and, most importantly, have fun. 


Let’s Stay Connected:

Got a question, dilemma, or topic you’d love me to cover? Send it my way - I genuinely love reading them.

Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/altarandtoast

Email → [email protected]

Wedding vows & speeches → www.altarandtoast.co.uk


Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/ryan


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Spoken ForBy Sydney Shannahan