The (Shameless) Outlier Voice Notes

The lidless commode

One of those things you see but never notice. Until it hits you out of the blue when you least expect it.

I have been traveling through the USA for a while. Airport hops.

It struck me that the airport toilet commodes don’t have a lid.

Just a seat that goes up and down. Hmmm, having been conditioned to open the lid, do the job, and remember to close the lid, it felt a bit odd when there was nothing to close.

And why to close? Public toilets that are supposed to be in use doing the clock. So, the designers decided to do away with anything redundant. For usage as well as for pricing.

Hence lidless commodes. Here are some observations of removing the lid!

* Some of us still carry around the vestigial organs that have long ceased to be of use.

* Look at this example of a house without any compound wall or boundary in India, in an area with high and higher walls. This owner decided to break it all up and create elevation and parking space. It sure did raise eyebrows.

* A menu with no listed prices in a posh restaurant won’t raise queries. It is to be expected. There are some new restaurants which don’t even have a menu card. You eat what you are served!

* A teacher who has done the job so thoroughly that he never needs to be present all the time. The lessons are ingrained.

* True love that doesn’t need a dependence on a formal love letter or proposal.

What do we observe? What do we infer? And implement?

They all discarded something everyone else assumed was necessary.

Most importantly, which commode lids are we still carrying around?

Time to take stock and break those boundary walls.

Time to kill those “because that’s the way it’s always been done” thought process.

Flush it away.

Additional READS on “Shameless Creativity”:

A thank you that arrived ten years lateBoredom is a competitive advantage

A painting hung upside downWhen the music stops

Call me. Two minutes. PleaseFive Extra MinutesAn empty chair!You cannot buy FEELFocus on meAn enemy is a blessingPlant the StoryWhen momentum slowsThe “I also do that” virusCRUSH the creative committee

Thanks for reading The Shameless Outlier!

Subscribe to receive new posts and

Be Shameless

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pravinshekar.substack.com

Do you remember

Oh, I did not think you would remember!

That one line stirs up a whole lot of possibilities, emotions, and thoughts.

What was he telling? What was he thinking? I wouldn’t remember.

Would I not remember something good he may have done, or something bad that has happened to me because of his or her actions?

Paraphrasing something that is attributed to Ratan Tata,

“When you speak the truth and nothing but the truth,

you do not need to remember anything.”

It is only those who lie who need to remember “Oh, what did I tell? What did I commit? What do I need to be wary of?” Etc.

But when you speak the truth, when you state hard facts, you don’t need to remember, because they are facts. They are aspects that you have already committed to that have come from within.

Remember…

How could you ever forget your first love, your first heartbreak, your first rejection in business?

All these have happened to all of us; how do we forget? We can forgive, for sure, if that is transient, that moves on, but the question remains. What do I remember?

AND: How do I want to be remembered?

I need to be remembered the way I want to be remembered.

The best way is to think and do and to stay consistent with my actions that define who I am. When people know and say, “Oh, this is something Pravin would do. This is something Pravin would absolutely not consider.”

Isn’t that what branding is?

Isn’t that what image and perception are built on?

When I say it will be done by a particular time, it will be done. When I say no, it is a no.

It all comes back to “I don’t think you’d remember.”

Well, I would. So would you. As the strands of memory weaken, we will still remember the peaks and the lows.

Everything in between definitely tends to get muddled up in the memories of time.

But if it is a peak, I would definitely remember. If it is a low, how would I forget? If you were part of my peak or my low, how could I ever forget you? And how could you ever forget me?

Let’s live through the peaks, the lows, and everything in between.

Let’s live to be remembered for all the right things.

Additional READS on “Shameless Creativity”:

A thank you that arrived ten years lateBoredom is a competitive advantage

A painting hung upside downWhen the music stops

Call me. Two minutes. PleaseFive Extra MinutesAn empty chair!You cannot buy FEELFocus on meAn enemy is a blessingPlant the StoryWhen momentum slowsThe “I also do that” virusCRUSH the creative committee

Thanks for reading The Shameless Outlier!

Subscribe to receive new posts and

Be Shameless

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pravinshekar.substack.com

Don’t Lose your Voice

“Don’t lose your voice. Don’t lose your individuality.”

That was the first piece of advice I received from my mentor.

The world around you will try to influence, shape, push you into a certain direction. That is what an ecosystem does: it forces you to conform, and before you and I know it, we become clones. We become a product of the culture that we grew up in, or we choose to grow up in.

Who am I? Who am I really? What are my opinions? What do I stand for? How do I put that across? Have you figured out that this has been an eternal problem!

We are encouraged to go ahead and look at role models. Oh, look at that person, a beacon. You have to model yourselves around him. Or look at this particular person. She is brilliant. Look at the way she organises. That is how you would need to do it.

In our quest for all these role models, we forget that we are a role model to the people around us. The problem is even more right now in the world of generative AI, when we become so dependent that we pretty much surrender our brains to an artificial intelligence platform. What that does is pick up the voices of a million people, mix them together, and give it to you, and you think it’s your voice. Look to the left and look to the right. They all have the same voice.

Who are you really? How do I know that?

I need to see who you are. I need to see you in action .

I need to see your work, demonstrable proof, your words, your writing, and your actions that define who you are. And to a certain extent, also how you present and project yourself, the way you dress, the integrity with which you lead yourself, and the people around you. But when you hesitate to say who you are confidently, when you yourself do not want to invest that much time to figure out, who do I stand for? What is my opinion about this?

Whatever is not an answer. “Anything goes” is not fine.

I will never allow myself to be a clone of somebody else. I have my voice, and I will use my voice, my tone, my pitch, my words, to define who I am. Yes, I’m a product of the ecosystem. I will have these influences, but I’m going to mix them together to come out with who I am and what I stand for. I will not allow somebody else, you, or a GenAI tool to define who I am. Here I am talking. I’m talking without a script.

I’m talking straight to you from the heart, because this is also another attempt for me to underline my voice. Hey, this is who I am. I do not shy away from telling the truth if it hurts your feelings. Hey, that’s exactly what it is supposed to be, because …

“A person without a voice is nothing but a clone, and a clone is replaceable.”

But when you know me, you’ve seen me, you’ve seen my action. You know what I stand for? You know my purpose in life: To inspire creators. Then my voice comes through, whether I speak or not, my actions will speak louder than words. And those actions are what I call demonstrable proof, which is nothing but an extension of my voice, of who I am, my images, my creations, my writing, my businesses. My friends are all an extension of my voice. They are carriers of my voice as they continue to sculpt their own voice.

Back to my original message. Please don’t lose your voice.

Underline who you are, what you stand for, and confidently go ahead and express yourself continuously.

Shamelessly!

Additional READS on “Shameless Creativity”:

A thank you that arrived ten years lateBoredom is a competitive advantage

A painting hung upside downWhen the music stops

Call me. Two minutes. PleaseFive Extra MinutesAn empty chair!You cannot buy FEELFocus on meAn enemy is a blessingPlant the StoryWhen momentum slowsThe “I also do that” virusCRUSH the creative committeeIs it good enough?You DO NOT need permission for a REFORMStumble in the StreakThe Tidy Desk Delusion!Phantom pain of past crushes

Thanks for reading The Shameless Outlier!

Subscribe to receive new posts and

Be Shameless

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pravinshekar.substack.com

Somebody met me at an event, sought me out, touched my shoulder, and said, thank you.

I couldn’t remember the person. I didn’t know who that was, and I very politely told him,

“Hey, I don’t know who you are.”

At that point, he said, “Pravin, there was something you said in your talk that impacted me and changed the way I am.

Therefore, I was waiting for an opportunity to meet you and thank you.”

I still had no clue who the person was or what talk he was referring to. So when I asked, he said he attended one of my talks 10 years ago on networking and how to be shameless, and that he had put it into action.

And now here he was, after 10 years, thanking me for it.

My God. Do I look at it as a thank-you that came 10 years too late, or as thankful that he remembered me after 10 years?

Of course the latter. He thanked me for something that even I had forgotten I had done

That got me thinking. How many people helped me get to where I am today!

I am here standing on the shoulders of silent giants who brought me, nudged me, lifted me, cajoled me over several walls.

How do I find them? How do I thank them? Is it not our duty to go back and thank all the people who are responsible for shaping, chiselling, nudging, pushing, getting you to where you are today, within and outside.

Can a thank you ever be too late?

Yes, agreed. If we could do it immediately, great. We could do it a few more times, absolutely, but a forgotten thank you; isn’t that a bit criminal? We tend to get busy with business as usual and forget.

But what if I could just make a quick list and look at thanking one person every day?

Before I knew it, I would have thanked a 365-day list of people, all of whom have had something or the other to do with shaping who I am today.

A thank-you that arrives late. Perhaps it’s like old wine, much, much more valuable.

So if we have forgotten to thank somebody, today is the time to make that initial list, put it together, and go ahead and thank.

Additional READS on “Shameless Creativity”:Boredom is a competitive advantage

A painting hung upside downWhen the music stops

Call me. Two minutes. PleaseFive Extra MinutesAn empty chair!You cannot buy FEELFocus on meAn enemy is a blessingPlant the StoryWhen momentum slowsThe “I also do that” virusCRUSH the creative committeeIs it good enough?You DO NOT need permission for a REFORMStumble in the StreakThe Tidy Desk Delusion!Phantom pain of past crushes

Thanks for reading The Shameless Outlier!

Subscribe to receive new posts and

Be Shameless

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pravinshekar.substack.com

Why boredom is a competitive advantage!

Go back to your childhood for the answer.

Well, I’m going back to mine.

When there was not much to do, not too many distractions, I read the same book again and again. Played with friends, made up our own games, we all got quite creative.

Boredom is a competitive advantage at work.

When was the last time you clocked into work and then sat for half an hour doing nothing?

You’re worried about what other people will think. What will they say? How can I do that? I’m getting paid for it. I have to act busy.

What if boredom is planned?

When you are in the system, clued in, and you allow your brain to just rest a little bit, the subconscious neurons come in and do all the connections necessary.

Think of it like your brain resting. You’re not going to close your eyes and go off to sleep. You’re still there, active, maybe just sitting in the conference room with a pen and paper for that insight to strike you.

And that will only strike you when you give your mind and your senses a rest. Then you’re not constantly listening, looking, watching, or reading; you’re not talking. Silence has a way to get to you. Perhaps silence is what is required for the neurons to connect, match, and come up with that Aha! idea.

Why did Archimedes run around naked, shouting, Eureka, Eureka?

When under the shower, he was in the flow; he surrendered to the flow of water, or inside the tub, and that is when the neurons connect.

Insight arrives when there is space.

And therefore, my dear friends, planned boredom is a competitive advantage that you and I will need to add as a part of our calendar. Check out this conversation flow:

Q: What are you going to do between 2 and 230 PM tomorrow?A: Nothing.Q: Can we have a meeting?A: No.

Q: Can I schedule a call?A: No.

Q: Why not?

A: BECAUSE…

I have that time as my planned boredom, when I’m just going to sit and let thoughts flow through me, perhaps to the pen and paper at a later stage.

The aha moment comes in unannounced.

It comes in when you least expect it.

And the kind of aha that you and I will get is a definite competitive advantage.

Planned boredom works.

Additional READS on “Shameless Creativity”:A painting hung upside downWhen the music stops

Call me. Two minutes. PleaseFive Extra MinutesAn empty chair!You cannot buy FEELFocus on meAn enemy is a blessingPlant the StoryWhen momentum slowsThe “I also do that” virusCRUSH the creative committeeIs it good enough?You DO NOT need permission for a REFORMStumble in the StreakThe Tidy Desk Delusion!Phantom pain of past crushes

Thanks for reading The Shameless Outlier!

Subscribe to receive new posts and

Be Shameless

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pravinshekar.substack.com

A painting hung upside down.

Everybody notices it.

But why something that you perhaps have crossed quite some time in your daily commute, but all of a sudden, if a house is boarded up, you begin to wonder what’s going on.

You wonder what used to be here. Something that you have encountered once or twice or thrice on a daily basis.

Yet if it just remains, the same sameness gets buried.

That is something we tend to forget.

What if we are all products of the same sameness that people around us do not notice unless we do some circus act, and suddenly everyone applauds?

Should I become a circus clown every day to ensure that I am noticed?? Perhaps. But when we do something different once in a while, then yes, we continue to remain what I call in marketing terms, Top of Mind recall.

We will need to be in that recall, in the memory. So when something gets triggered, when they look at a colour, when they look at an image, when they look at a particular way somebody walks, they are reminded of us.

We don’t need to hang upside down for that, but we will need to have complete clarity in terms of, who am I, who am I for? How do I get noticed? For this smaller community, what do I need to do to get noticed?

And if, in certain cases, I just need to shake up the sameness, I will need to hang upside down.

I need to do something different, and that would be my recommendation to you as well.

You go ahead and write something well, what if you tweak it a little bit? You wear the same uniform. What if you wear the same uniform but tweak it a little bit, style it a little differently?

So every time the question comes, the memory I want to imprint in my mind and yours is a painting hung upside down.

What can I turn around 180 degrees?

What can I tweak even at a 45-degree angle?

How can I change the perception? Because the perception you have about me is something that I need to engineer. You need to have the exact same perception that I want you to have.

Isn’t that what an emotional connection is? Isn’t that how I want you to remember me?

Isn’t that what the market calls branding?

Time to hang upside down!

Additional READS on “Shameless Creativity”:When the music stops

Call me. Two minutes. PleaseFive Extra MinutesAn empty chair!You cannot buy FEELFocus on meAn enemy is a blessingPlant the StoryWhen momentum slowsThe “I also do that” virusCRUSH the creative committeeIs it good enough?You DO NOT need permission for a REFORMStumble in the StreakThe Tidy Desk Delusion!Phantom pain of past crushes

Thanks for reading The Shameless Outlier!

Subscribe to receive new posts and

Be Shameless

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pravinshekar.substack.com

When the music stops

What happens when the tide runs out?

That is when you find out who is actually dressed for the swim and who is swimming around naked. A quote attributed to several politicians, including Winston Churchill.

But the question remains, what happens when the music stops? Are you dancing in rhythm? Are you playing to the tune? What is going on? What do you do when the music stops?

There are fair-weather friends, and there are fair-weather CEOs and leaders who love coasting and claiming success purely from coasting and keeping things steady.

What if there is a sudden swirl in the water that rocks the boat? What if there is a storm or a typhoon? What if there is a fall in business, a loss of a client?

How do you handle what do you do when the music stops?

Have you ever wondered? Have you considered this? Have you looked in the mirror, or have you sat down and done a little bit of scenario planning?

The question is as much attributable to me as it is to you.

Who am I? What kind of a leader am I? Am I ready to face the cyclones and typhoons? Am I ready to take the lows as I coast through the highs? How am I going to handle it? How am I going to remain the same?

What am I going to learn, and the more I practice it, think about it, write about it, and plan about it.

Muscle memory will kick in when things go south. And things will go down! Because life, business relationships, are all nothing but sine waves.

What happens when the relationship runs out, when the tide runs out, when the music stops, when the money in flow trickles down, maybe stops, maybe sprinkles here and there?

Am I ready for that dry day? Have I saved up enough? Am I mentally ready to face whatever is thrown my way?

A philosophical hypothetical question, as much for you as for me, and something I yearn for: plan for when it happens.

Hopefully, my muscle memory will kick in and know exactly what needs to be done at that particular point, and when the music stops.

Are you ready?

Additional READS on “Shameless Creativity”:Call me. Two minutes. PleaseFive Extra MinutesAn empty chair!You cannot buy FEELFocus on meAn enemy is a blessingPlant the StoryWhen momentum slowsThe “I also do that” virusCRUSH the creative committeeIs it good enough?You DO NOT need permission for a REFORMStumble in the StreakThe Tidy Desk Delusion!Phantom pain of past crushes

Thanks for reading The Shameless Outlier!

Subscribe to receive new posts and

Be Shameless

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pravinshekar.substack.com

CALL ME.

Just two words are enough.

What do you do when this message is received?

It depends on who it came from. It also depends on the time of day when I receive this particular message.

Same two words, the people, the context, the time; Everything changes how I perceive and how I react.

If it is someone close and they send a “Call me” message, I will drop everything, pick up the phone, and call them right away.

If the message comes from someone I know, but around midnight or at 2 AM, the brain automatically shifts into a higher gear. I know there could be an emergency where I’m required.

But if the message is from someone who has been bothering me, has been badgering me, there’s been a whole lot of Ask, ask, ask, give, give, give, but nothing that comes back. If that is the kind of message that I receive, call me… Fat chance that I’m going to be calling that person back.

When a message, a simple message, “Call me”, comes from me, would people drop everything they are doing and call me back.

What do I need to do to ensure that happens?

How do I build trust so that certain people know it is never a frivolous request from me? There is a requirement, perhaps an emergency, but definitely a need to talk to them right away, which is why I sent the message.

What do I need to do? How do I improve myself?

How do I increase whatever I’m doing to build that value, to build that trust, to ensure that I go ahead and get things done so that even a simple two-word request has the import when it comes from me.

Creating for them, even without an ask.

Holding space,

Being there for them.

Additional READS on “Shameless Creativity”:Five Extra MinutesAn empty chair!You cannot buy FEELFocus on meAn enemy is a blessingPlant the StoryWhen momentum slowsThe “I also do that” virusCRUSH the creative committeeIs it good enough?You DO NOT need permission for a REFORMStumble in the StreakThe Tidy Desk Delusion!Phantom pain of past crushes

Thanks for reading The Shameless Outlier!

Subscribe to receive new posts and

Be Shameless

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pravinshekar.substack.com

Sometimes things happen, and you have no clue.

You’re scrambling to finish that examination. You know you’re going to run over time, but all of a sudden, an invigilator comes and says:

“Hey, doesn’t matter. You’ve got five extra minutes. By the time I collect all the answer papers, finish up whatever you’re doing.”

Good Samaritans exist. It is the same in life.

You’re running late to catch a bus. You are somehow hoping that there is some delay. You reach the bus stop just in time to find out that the bus is delayed by five minutes.

You get an extra five minutes.

To catch your breath.To get onto the bus.

What would you do with these extra five minutes?

When you had no hope of it.When you had not prepared for it.When you had not planned for it.

What do we do with bonus time?What do we do with bonus money?

What do we do with the bonus love that we receive?

Situations outside my control…like the bus getting delayedor the invigilator suddenly giving me five minutes.

These are uncontrollables.

But this is where it shifts.

What do I do with what I receive?

This additional love that I receive…

Can I forward it?Can I pay it forward?Can I share it?Can I spread it?

Extra five minutes.Extra five rupees.Five friends who show upWhen I am feeling a bit lonely.

What am I going to do with the extra five that I get?

The universe has a way of conspiring. To ensure I get what I need.

When things are in my control…

Do I give? Do I share?

Do I spread?

Let’s start spreadingan extra five minutes of love.

To our inner circle.To our outer circle.To those around us.

And if that love takes the shape of creation…

Let us create.Let us share.

For the five who are waiting for it.

Additional READS on “Shameless Creativity”:An empty chair!

You cannot buy FEELFocus on meAn enemy is a blessingPlant the StoryWhen momentum slowsThe “I also do that” virusCRUSH the creative committeeIs it good enough?You DO NOT need permission for a REFORMStumble in the StreakThe Tidy Desk Delusion!Phantom pain of past crushes

Thanks for reading The Shameless Outlier!

Subscribe to receive new posts and

Be Shameless

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pravinshekar.substack.com

An empty chair

You run into a restaurant, it’s an impromptu thing.

There’s a mile-long queue, and your heart automatically falls. What do you do?

I was so looking forward to this lunch, this signature dish at this particular restaurant everyone seems to be talking about. And because everyone is talking about it, there’s a mile-long queue I’ll have to wait in.

Now, what do I do? Is there a possibility? Do I have to spend my entire lunch hour waiting? Am I going to go back famished? I don’t know.

There’s one thing that I can do. Well, two things. I can either stand at the back of the line or… I can go up front and talk to the maître d, the manager of that particular restaurant.

I chose the second option. I walked up to the manager and showed my forefinger. The number one to indicate that it’s just me. It’s just “I, me, myself” out here for lunch.

He looked back at me, smiled, pointed to one empty chair at a crowded table, and nodded. I nodded back, and I moved towards it.

That mile-long queue, all groups of threes, fours, fives, eights, 10s. There was just one solitary Lone Ranger out here who was happy to share one particular empty chair and table in a large, crowded room.

Well, beggars can’t be choosers. What choice do I have? I’m here with a seat in that particular restaurant, all alone by myself at a crowded table that gives me a semblance of being a part of a group. The group was accommodating as well, allowing me to sit, order food, and partake along with them.

Well, the choice is always ours.

We could get disillusioned by longer queues and potential delays, but then what’s stopping us from going to the source and checking if there is a possibility??

It is a no if the manager says it is. If it is definitely no, if I don’t move, take any action, just go stand silently at the end of the line. There will always be an empty chair at crowded tables.

Perhaps the message is philosophical, that when I put my foot forward, the universe will conspire.

And there will always be one empty chair, one path, one car park that is empty, one movie ticket that’s available.

Perhaps the one shot at success I’ve been striving for is the ticket I will get.

There will always be an empty chair at a crowded table when I set my mind to it.

Always.

All I need to do is walk up and ask.

Additional READS on “Shameless Creativity”:

You cannot buy FEEL

Focus on meAn enemy is a blessingPlant the StoryWhen momentum slowsThe “I also do that” virusCRUSH the creative committeeIs it good enough?You DO NOT need permission for a REFORMStumble in the StreakThe 3rd Draft LieGet bored on purpose!An Audience that DOESN’T EXIST!The Tidy Desk Delusion!Phantom pain of past crushes

Thanks for reading The Shameless Outlier!

Subscribe to receive new posts and

Be Shameless

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pravinshekar.substack.com