In this deeply honest conversation, host Celeste Fernandez sits down with Angie Hawkins — inner glow coach, writer, and speaker — to explore what it really means to stop performing life and start living it. Angie opens up about her own journey from chronic people-pleasing and perfectionism to radical self-trust, sharing how she hit emotional rock bottom, wrote a vulnerable memoir (Running In Slippers), and built a life that finally feels true to her. Together, they unpack the hidden cost of constant availability, the power of setting and enforcing boundaries, how to make peace with uncertainty, and why authenticity isn't just a buzzword — it's a feeling of freedom. This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like their life looks great on paper but somehow still feels hollow inside.

5 Key Takeaways

• 2:59 — Being constantly "on demand" for others is often rooted in childhood conditioning, not genuine generosity.

• 6:07 — Setting boundaries doesn't push people away; people actually respect you more when you respect yourself.

• 17:22 — Triggered feelings only last 90 seconds in your body — it's the stories you tell yourself that make them linger.

• 34:58 — Closing yourself off to negative uncertainty also closes you off to serendipity and unexpected joy.

• 0:00 — When you are truly focused on yourself and what feels good to you, you naturally stop giving energy to what others think.

Episode Quote

"Stop focusing on other people — because when you're focused on yourself, and you care about what you think of you, and if you're happy with your life, you will truly stop giving a shit about anything outside of you. 'Cause you feel so good and free and liberated, and you never want that feeling to go away."

— Angie Hawkins

Connect with Angie

• Website & Coaching: innerglowbyangie.com

• Book: Running In Slippers (paperback, Kindle & audiobook)

• New Program: Inner Glow Overflow — money mindset, identity & energy work

• Mention this podcast in your application for a free 60-minute coaching session

In this deeply personal and quietly powerful episode, host Celeste Fernandez sits down with Laziena Hodge to explore what happens after the awareness — after you've done the reading, the therapy, the inner work — and you still find yourself repeating old patterns. Laziena shares her journey from authoritarian, shame-driven parenting to becoming a compassionate, relationally present mother, shaped by her own experiences of betrayal, trauma, and hard-won self-reparenting. Together, they explore the difference between knowing better and actually living differently, and why healing was never meant to be a solo journey.

5 Key Takeaways

• 3:44 — Shame is often the hidden block beneath our healing, keeping us from acting on what we already know.

• 6:03 — The shift from shame-based to needs-based parenting is one of the most powerful catalysts for real relational change.

• 8:48 — Repair is always on the table — no conflict has to mean the relationship is at risk.

• 32:09 — Self-awareness becomes a trap when it stays intellectual and never integrates into how we actually show up in relationships.

• 56:28 — Healing requires relational community — we need people who can witness us, not just advise us.

"Coherence to me is operating from my heart — caring about somebody so much that they're going to know. My efforts are going to match my intention, and you're going to feel seen, loved, appreciated, valued, witnessed."

— Laziena Hodge

Resources:

🌐 Website: Laziena.com

📖 Book: The Relationship Repair Language — available on Amazon

📋 Repair Language Quiz — 30 questions to identify your repair language and what your nervous system needs to feel safe in conflict. Free on her website.

Free Downloads (on her website):

• Attachment Repair Guide — breaks down your attachment style and what repair looks like for you

• Teenager Workbook — a safe space tool to help teens process their feelings

• Money Repair Guide — explores beliefs around money and how to repair your relationship with it

👥 Parenting Cohort — a free group coaching space for parents exploring generational healing and creating generational blessings (no cost)

Social Media:

• LinkedIn, Facebook, TikTok: LazienaHodge

• Instagram: @RepairWithLuzina

📅 Book a call: Visit luzina.com → chat with her chatbot → she'll send you her calendar link

In this episode, host Celeste Fernandez sits down with Amanda Bearce — wellness coach, business owner, mother, and partner — for an honest conversation about what it really means to stop surviving and start living. Amanda opens up about a pivotal moment with her daughter that cracked her out of chronic anxiety and constant go mode, and how she began rebuilding her life around sustainable self-care instead of productivity at all costs. From therapy to mindful walks to building Legos on a Tuesday afternoon, Amanda shares the small, intentional shifts that changed everything — and how she now helps other women find their way back to themselves.

5 Key Takeaways (with timestamps):

• 7:16 — A breaking point with her daughter forced Amanda to confront that constant anxiety wasn't just stress — it was a sign something had to change.

• 9:00 — Therapy was the single most important first step Amanda took in shifting out of survival mode.

• 9:44 — "Self-care snacks" — short, intentional resets like a 5-minute mindful walk — are Amanda's go-to tools for reclaiming calm throughout the day.

• 18:05 — Small wins matter: sustainable change comes from building slowly, not overhauling everything on a Monday.

• 20:38 — Amanda's new definition of success is simple: prioritizing her own wellbeing, because everything else flows from there.

"I truly see the difference that it makes in my family, in the way I show up for my clients, in my friends — and an added bonus of that is as I've been doing this and openly talking about it, I see the difference in other people feeling comfortable taking care of themselves too."

— Amanda Bearce

Connect with Amanda:

🌐 simplywellnesscoach.com — Free download: Self-Care Snacks resource + weekly newsletter

In this powerful conversation, Celeste Fernandez sits down with Alma Thomas, whose life has been reshaped by the loss of her only son, an apartment fire, a debilitating stroke, and a recent cancer diagnosis. From the depths of grief to becoming an international speaker from her bed, Alma shares how faith, mental health support, and a stubborn "bounce-back spirit" helped her turn pain into purpose. She talks about dreaming again after devastation, founding a scholarship in her son's honor, writing books with one finger, and inspiring others not to give up on the dreams they buried along the way.

• (0:03:23) - Alma realized years after her son's death that she had stopped dreaming and made a conscious decision not to die with her dreams still inside her.

• (0:06:01) - Her life was "rerouted" like a GPS, yet she still arrived at her calling as an international speaker—this time from her bed, through podcasts and teaching.

• (0:11:38) - Grief nearly destroyed her in silence until she sought mental health support and turned her pain into purpose through a scholarship in her son's name.

• (0:16:54) - After a fire, stroke, and cancer diagnosis, Alma leans on what she calls a "bounce back spirit" that keeps helping her rise after every blow.

• (0:27:55) - Alma urges listeners to "dream again," taking one small step—one class, one paragraph, one purchase—as a way to revive long-buried goals.

"If you make it, but you make it on broken pieces, you still made it. If you feel like a crayon that's been broken, you can still color, you can still make a difference in somebody else's life. Somebody is depending on you to make it." – Alma Thomas

Resources:

Alma Thomas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alma.thomas.619946

In this episode, Celeste sits down with Michelle Steiner—writer, advocate, para educator, and photographer—to explore what it means to build a meaningful life while living with a learning disability. Michelle shares how early doubts about her potential shaped her, how she moved from grief to acceptance, and why she now sees her disability as a source of unique insight and connection. From college struggles and career choices to book projects and garden metaphors, this conversation is a gentle, honest look at resilience, self-definition, and allowing our lives to "bloom" in their own time.

Michelle reflects on her journey with dyscalculia and other learning disabilities, the discouraging messages she received growing up, and the long process of redefining success on her own terms. She talks about making Dean's List, finding fulfilling work in schools, becoming a published author, and dreaming up new books that educate and encourage others. Along the way, she reframes disability from a limitation into a different way of moving through the world—one that has opened unexpected beauty, empathy, and purpose.

• [0:02:48] – Michelle balances work, advocacy, writing, and book clubs, building a life full of creativity and connection.

• [0:06:01] – Her book ideas—Chasing Butterflies and a children's book on dyscalculia—use storytelling to educate and empower others with learning disabilities.

• [0:09:09] – Despite discouraging messages about college, career, and relationships, Michelle chose to pursue her own path and eventually proved those doubts wrong.

• [0:11:10] – Making Dean's List, graduating, marrying, and working in education reshaped her sense of what happiness and success can look like.

• [0:19:32] – Michelle defines resilience and success as doing her personal best, focusing on what she can control, and continuing to "bloom" despite challenges.

"Sometimes it's almost like grieving that person who didn't have a disability and didn't have to struggle—but once we process those emotions and accept them, then we come to acceptance, and it's a lot easier." — Michelle Steiner

Resources:

Michelle's Website: michellesmission.com

In this episode of The Shapes We Take, Celeste speaks with Lorina Manzanita, a PhD student in human sexuality and a sex and relationship coach exploring the intersection of ethics, trauma, and psychedelic healing. Lorina shares how concepts like regulation, imaginal cells, microcultures of coherence, shadow work, and the wounded healer archetype shape her personal journey and professional work. Together they explore what it means to live in a dysregulated world without burning out, how to honor multiple "versions" of ourselves in transformation, and how to build small, intentional communities where people can be unfinished, vulnerable, and still deeply held.

Lorina Manzanita MA, SEP is a Somatic Intimacy Coach and Somatic Experiencing (SE) & Psychedelic Somatic (PSI)Trauma Resolution Practitioner, educator, and PhD student in Human Sexuality. She has been professionally helping people feel comfortable in their own skin since 1998. She loves helping space-holders and professional empaths who struggle with self-abandonment learn how to own their boundaries and desires.

• [0:04:38] – Regulation as flexible responsiveness Lorina defines regulation as the ability to flexibly monitor and modify our internal and relational conditions so we can adapt to ever‑changing circumstances without losing ourselves.

• [0:06:45] – "Microcultures of coherence" as imaginal cells Using the metaphor of imaginal cells in a cocoon, Lorina describes microcultures of coherence as small, values-aligned pockets of people whose shared, heart-connected "dream" can help transform a chaotic world.

• [0:16:25] – Death of old selves as the price of transformation Leaving a toxic relationship in 2009 felt like a visceral death, but it marked the end of an over-giving, disassociated self and the emergence of a more boundaried, embodied Lorina.

• [0:25:26] – Codependency, psychedelics, and reshaping purpose A pivotal psychedelic experience helped Lorina say yes to her PhD, letting a freewheeling, anti-institutional version of herself "die" so a new self could emerge in service of deeper impact.

• [0:31:53] – Integration as the antidote to chaos and rigidity Drawing on Dan Siegel's work, Lorina frames integration—balancing connection and differentiation—as the path from chaotic/rigid patterns (in sexuality, psyche, and systems) toward relationships and cultures that are flexible, adaptable, coherent, energized, and stable.

"Please don't get over identified with the wounded part. Please don't get identified with the healer part. Please don't get stuck in the cul-de-sac of a noun. Get really curious about the process." — Lorina

Resources:

Visit www.IntegratingEros.com and sign up for my mailing list to get my mini-course: Nourished: The Neuroscience of Receiving Beautifully

Embracing Your Eros on Amazon: https://a.co/d/03ubGf2o

Main website: www.LorinaManzanita.com

Group program: www.IntegratingEros.com

Free mini-course: https://integratingeros.com/nourished-mini-course/nourished-welcome

In this episode of The Shapes We Take Podcast, host Celeste Fernandez sits down with Cynthia Joy Towner, a stroke survivor, speaker, and creator whose life was radically reshaped after a brain injury changed her mobility, motherhood, marriage, and sense of self. Cynthia shares how growing up on the South Side of Chicago, losing her mother young, and surviving a stroke led her from feeling worthless to becoming a woman who lives with intention, joy, and purpose. Through candid stories about grief, resilience, healing, and rebuilding identity, she offers listeners a deeply honest look at what it means to choose yourself, rewrite lifelong beliefs, and see even the hardest experiences as happening for you, not to you.

Cynthia Joi Towner, known as JuuceeJoi, is a stroke survivor, comedian, speaker, and founder of Strength In You. She uses humor, storytelling, and advocacy to challenge how the world views disability—encouraging people to see it as a different ability. Her message is simple but powerful: never give in to giving up on yourself.

• [0:02:11] – After her stroke, Cynthia discovered a new drive and sense of purpose, deciding to treat her survival as a second chance at life.

• [0:04:52] – She learned to reintroduce herself with confidence, embracing her full identity as Cynthia Joy, an "energetic stroke survivor that lives limitless."

• [0:10:29] – Cynthia reframed hardship as something that happens for her growth, not to her, and teaches others to start with self-love and mindset shifts.

• [0:13:40] – Grieving her old life—mobility, motherhood, speech, and daily routines—led her to see herself not as disabled, but as having "different abilities."

• [0:30:00] – Healing, for Cynthia, is an ongoing process of discovery, accountability, and honest reflection on childhood wounds, relationships, and identity.

"Whatever it is that you're going through is not happening to you, it's happening for you. You're not being punished, you're being purposed." – Cynthia Joy

Resource Link:

https://blinq.me/qlLwFAjBzTdy3oSNMAmC?bs=icl

In this episode, Celeste sits down with Vedant, a lifelong creative who has wrestled with burnout, hustle culture, and the quiet grief of not becoming who he once thought he'd be. Together, they explore redefining success beyond big-name brands and linear careers, learning to slow down in a culture obsessed with productivity, and honoring the "jungle gym" nature of modern creative paths. Vedant shares how competitive academic environments, generational expectations, and corporate prestige shaped his early definition of success—and how he has slowly unlearned those scripts to build a more flexible, grateful, and self-directed creative life.

Vedant Akhauri is a writer and aspiring content producer based in Florida. He has worked on multiple short films, videos, and podcasts. When not editing or working on sets, he usually writes, spends time with friends, or plays video games. His personal podcast is Let's Talk Media with Vedant Akhauri.

• [0:03:19] – The pressure to always create and "catch the trend" can push creatives toward burnout, making it crucial to learn when to work and when to simply be still.

• [0:05:07] – Competitive academic culture and generational "hustle" coding can normalize overwork and delay our understanding of mental health and self-care.

• [0:08:10] – Modern careers, especially in creative fields, are less like a ladder and more like a jungle gym—there are many valid paths to success, not just big corporations.

• [0:17:44] – Patience with yourself, starting small, and treating creativity like a muscle are essential for anyone who feels "not creative enough."

• [0:32:43] – True happiness and success must be self-defined; letting go of society's narrow metrics opens space for gratitude, flexibility, and a more honest life.

"We spend so much time letting other people define success and happiness for us that we forget we're already in a good place." – Vedant

In this opening episode, host Celeste Fernandez introduces The Shapes We Take as a reflective space for honest conversations about the quiet, unfinished parts of life. Rather than focusing on glossy before-and-after stories, the show centers on the in‑between: the doubts, turning points, and subtle realizations that reshape who we are. Using the metaphor of a life as a piece of sculpture, Celeste outlines the podcast's intention to offer recognition, permission, perspective, language, and spaciousness to listeners who are still "in the middle" of their own becoming.

• (00:00) – Growth is usually quiet and gradual, happening in conversations, questions, and reflection rather than in dramatic breakthroughs.

• 00:45) – The podcast creates space for people who are still "in the middle" of their lives, not at a neat conclusion.

• (01:20) – Life is compared to sculpture, where experiences, losses, and realizations carve and reshape who we become.

• (02:05) – The show offers quiet "promises": recognition, permission to be unfinished, perspective on many paths to growth, and language for unnamed feelings.

• (02:40) – Listeners are invited to slow down, value pauses, and ask themselves, "What shape is my life taking right now?"

"Growth rarely happens in dramatic and cinematic breakthroughs. More often, it happens quietly, in conversations, in questions, in moments of reflection, in a slow realization that something inside you has shifted." - Celeste

In this introductory episode of The Shapes We Take Podcast, host Celeste Fernandez sets the tone for a series of honest, reflective conversations about the moments that quietly reshape who we are. Rather than focusing on polished, hindsight narratives, the show stays inside the "in-between" — the tensions, questions, and transitions that leave us still forming. Celeste invites listeners into a space where uncertainty, growth, and evolving identity are not problems to fix, but stories to explore in real time.

• [0:00:12] – A space for honest reflection • The podcast is a home for thoughtful conversations about the experiences that shape who we are.

• [0:00:40] – Life doesn't move in straight lines • Our lives bend, fracture, and stretch into unexpected shapes, and that's where meaning often lives.

• [0:01:05] – Beauty in not knowing who you're becoming • Some of the most beautiful parts of us emerge from seasons of uncertainty and becoming.

• [0:01:40] – A three-phase conversation structure • Each episode moves from the surface, to the tension, to what has been quietly reshaped.

• [0:02:20] – An invitation to notice what resonates • Listeners are encouraged to show up without answers and simply notice what mirrors their own lives.

"Sometimes the most honest way to understand a life is to ask what shape it's taking now."