You CAN talk about what’s not working and still have HOPE. love, fighting for each other, seeing the good in each other, being vulnerable, honesty, authenticity, compassion/empathy/forgiveness are what keep the engine/love going.
Focusing on negative and everything that's wrong, perpetual pessimism,
Focusing on the bright spots instead of the negative. Build on the good. You DO have something salvageable and God IS a part of your marriage no matter how hard it gets.
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