The Simply Messy Podcast

You married a person. You also married their version of “normal.” And apparently, that includes whether a birthday party lasts one hour or an entire day. 😂

In this episode of The Simply Messy Podcast, cohosts Dr. Stefanie Hui and Matthew Cox talk about their relationships with their respective spouses—and how culture, family backgrounds, and deeply ingrained beliefs shape the way we love, communicate, celebrate, and handle disagreements.

The conversation starts with a scheduling mix-up that almost had Matthew leaving his son’s birthday celebration to record the podcast. To him, stepping away for an hour seemed reasonable. Stefanie had a slightly different take: “Are you sure your wife is going to be okay with that?” 👀

That moment opens up a bigger question: How often do we assume our way of doing things is everyone else’s way, too?

From Matthew’s experiences navigating different family traditions with his Mexican wife to Stefanie’s reflections on her Asian upbringing and showing love through acts of service, we explore how the homes we grew up in become the expectations we bring into our marriages. And why understanding your partner takes more than knowing their cultural background—it also means understanding the unique traditions, values, and habits of their family.

In this episode, we discuss:
• How culture and upbringing influence what feels loving, respectful, or important.
• Why “that’s how my family does it” can create friction when two backgrounds come together.
• Different ways of expressing affection—from physical touch and words to simply doing something helpful.
• The gap between what you meant and what your partner actually heard.
• Why one person being “over it” doesn’t mean both people feel the disagreement is resolved.
• Asking, “Do you want me to listen, or help you find a solution?”
• How phones can be a distraction—or part of a shared conversation, depending on the situation.
• Making time to check in, reconnect, and have fun together.
• Getting to know the new versions of your spouse as you both grow and change.

We also talk about why we sometimes give coworkers more thought and care in our communication than we give the people closest to us. Being comfortable with someone doesn’t mean we stop paying attention to how our words land.

Neither of us has a perfectly polished marriage or a script for getting everything right. We’re sharing real stories from our own lives, reflecting on patterns we’ve seen through our professional work, and laughing at the moments when our own assumptions need a little checking.

Because sometimes the disagreement isn’t just about the party, the laundry, or the phone. It’s about what that moment means to each person—and the background that helped give it that meaning.

💬 What’s something you thought was completely “normal” growing up that your spouse or partner saw differently? Tell us in the comments—and let us know which relationship topic you’d like us to explore next.

Subscribe to The Simply Messy Podcast for honest conversations about relationships, personal growth, and the everyday mess of being human. Find us on YouTube, Spotify, Instagram and every where else you get your Podcasts.

#SimplyMessyPodcast #Relationships #CultureAndRelationships #Marriage #Communication

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Everyone's trying to look like they have it all together.We're not.Each week, we explore mental health, personal growth, resilience, happiness, leadership, parenting, relationships, and the messy realities of building a meaningful life.✨ Subscribe for new episodes every week.🔔 Subscribe:https://www.youtube.com/@simplymessypodcast📱 Follow Us:Instagram: @simplymessypodcastInstagram: @drstefaniehui#SimplyMessyPodcast #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #workingparents #entreprenuership #lifecoaching #positivepsychology

What happens when culture, ambition, failure, and identity all collide?

In this episode of The Simply Messy Podcast, we turn the mic on Stefanie and unpack some of the experiences that shaped who she is today.

We talk about growing up as a first-generation Asian American, the very real “culture clash” that comes with traditional parents, and the fact that even with a PhD — and a husband who’s an optometrist — her parents still don’t consider either of them “real doctors.” 😂

We also get into entrepreneurship, selling a business, redefining success, and sublimation — the idea that we can take disappointment, failure, frustration, and even pain and redirect that energy into something productive.

Because sometimes our failures don’t stop us.

Sometimes they become the fuel.

This episode is about culture, family expectations, ambition, identity, business, and learning how to turn the messy parts of life into momentum.

🎙️ New episode of The Simply Messy Podcast — out now.

#SimplyMessyPodcast #FirstGeneration #AsianAmerican #EntrepreneurLife #PersonalGrowth

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Welcome to The Simply Messy Podcast with Dr. Stefanie Hui and Matthew Cox.Everyone's trying to look like they have it all together.We're not.Each week, we explore mental health, personal growth, resilience, happiness, leadership, parenting, relationships, and the messy realities of building a meaningful life.✨ Subscribe for new episodes every week.🔔 Subscribe:https://www.youtube.com/@simplymessypodcast📱 Follow Us:Instagram: @simplymessypodcastInstagram: @drstefaniehui#SimplyMessyPodcast #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #workingparents #entreprenuership #lifecoaching #positivepsychology

Meet Matthew Cox — co-host of the Simply Messy Podcast.

One of seven kids. Small-town beginnings. A self-proclaimed “short-bus kid.” And definitely not someone whose path to success followed a straight line.

Matt went on to build a career in business, land five- and six-figure consulting contracts, and create opportunities he probably couldn’t have imagined growing up.

But this episode isn’t just about the wins.

We’re talking about the highs, the failures, the wrong turns, the lessons, and all the messy parts in between that shaped who he is today.

Because success rarely looks as polished behind the scenes as it does from the outside.

🎙️ Meet Matthew Cox and hear the story behind one half of The Simply Messy Podcast.

Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

#SimplyMessyPodcast #MatthewCox #MeetTheHost #PodcastEpisode #RealLifeRealTalk #SuccessStories #FailureToSuccess #LifeLessons #PersonalGrowth #Entrepreneurship #ConsultingLife #BusinessJourney #MessyMiddle #GrowthMindset #AuthenticConversations #BehindTheSuccess #SmallTownRoots #LifeIsMessy

Join Dr. Stefanie and Matt as they discuss where they've been the past 3 years, the premise of this "messy" podcasts, and a preview of issues such as relationships, business, and life!