Breh, I mean, listen, just some guys chopping it up. What do you want from us?

No, seriously, today, AJ and I zip through 18 lifestyle-philosophy type topics, with the assistance of my grandma's egg timer. "3 minutes a topic!" Ha ha, ok Gaynor. Whatever you say.


1. Smartphone as landline.
-I am pro-this
-Imagine a world without other people's opinions
-Once, you used to be able to pick up your neighbors' phone calls? What?

2. No caffeine.
-really
-Imagine a world when you fall asleep when you go to sleep

3. Seeking atonement for being raised in an androcentric culture.
-I yam what I yam, and I am sorry for talking like Popeye

4. Vegetarianism vs. masculinity.
-Hmm. Do what works best for you, but what if we had all the psychopaths doing the slaughtering? What did you just say? 
-There be no judgment here, the food blogs are everywhere

5. Really basic stoicism.
-I have rebranded this segment as "basic bitch stoicism" because don't tell me I have to be exhaustingly sophisticated to have a single good notion 

6. Listen to at least one news source from the other side of the political aisle.
-[Shia Labeouf noises]

7. Read actual books made of paper.
-There will be zero notifications there to distract you
-You can annotate the book
-People will think you're not a complete moron, or they will at least act that way to get you to leave them alone about it

8. Full Sleep to enjoy life more
-If you believe in climate change, you believe we are not all wired to work 9-5
-What about a 2-10? Are many people nodding their heads vigorously?
-There is no replacement for Full Sleep and you suffer by ignoring this fact

9. What about porn?
-[animal sounds]
-are you familiar with the economic principle of "opportunity cost"?
-you can be more than Glands with an internet connection

10. Edamame, the magic bean!
-Not related to topic 9

11. Discovering homeostasis among the chaos.
12. Setting goals is easy - following through is difficult but fulfilling.
-Hopefully we are not too condescending here, but really. The "slightly harder" path ends up being much easier than the "easier at first and then completely impossible" path

13. I don't know if I'll ever get a tattoo.
-Is it wise to commit? What about committing to a symbol? Eesh, hmmm. 
-You're certain that the ink just stays there and doesn't get into your spleen or anything?

14. Sleep posture matters - get the right pillow.
-One under your head, one between your legs, and one under your hips. AJ taught me this last part, and, one night later, I'm a full convert. Don't have your spine gettin all bendy while you're trying to reset the Mech Suit that is your body.

15. Even fake plants make a room feel more alive
-You can't kill them, and they're still nice and green

16. At what point will the Beatles fall into obscurity?
-Should we be sad about the future? Or, just whatever? 
-No one listens to Gregorian Chant at a party without raising considerable alarm bells

17. "BURN DOWN YOUR SOUL"
-Anyone ever said this to you?
-What a phrase
-I feel uncertain now

18. Put existentialism in your toolbox.
-Nah forget it, we're done, we're done