People need to feel that they are in control…so when they think they are being sold to, they will say No...and if you accept their “No” and give them permission to say “No” as many times as they like, then they feel safe and in control.

The word No can also be hidden.  It might not even be the word “No” that you hear…it might be a variation of “No”…and you need to be on guard and listen for these verbal clues.  Clues such as;

I need to talk to my boss, my partner, my wife etc etc

I don’t understand it.

I can’t afford it.

I don’t think I need it

It’s not what I want

I don’t need it now

I think I need a different version

…and so on.

When I hear the word “No” I like to push back a bit.

And by listening to this podcast you will learn how to do that. 

Why is it that words can have such a dramatic effect on human behaviour?

Well you only have to go back 2 million years because it’s your 2 million year old reptile brain that controls virtually everything you think about and therefore every action you take following that thought. 

Your 2 million old brain is constantly alert and on the lookout for problems. It especially likes anything that can potentially cause you danger and this means that many people live in a constant state of fear.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the acronym F.E.A.R. which stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.

Montaigne the great French philosopher (1533 – 1592)  said “He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears” but I like his most famous quote:  ”My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened”

Even in the bible over 2,000 years ago there is a quote in Job 3:25 that says “That which I have feared has come upon me.”

The very act of thinking about something can make it happen or bring it into being.

William James the father of modern psychology  (1842 – 1910) said  that “That the greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.”

That’s crazy isn’t it?

Thoughts travel faster than anything in the universe…and you will all have examples of that.  A thought can travel so quickly in your own brain from thought to action or a thoughts can spark your hormones into releasing chemicals that either inspire you or deflate you.

So years and years before "The Secret" or before anyone “bought into” the idea that thoughts are things….and thoughts most certainly ARE things….we see many of the great thinkers in life acknowledging that as being true.

So, if thoughts are things and thoughts alone can make things happen, then the use of words will allow  your thoughts to affect someone else’s brain.

We are, after all, just moist robots, programmed by language.

(Before we get into the 9 Phrases That Create Immediate Action,  I want you to remember one crucial thing; that whenever you start something new, something for the first time, you will not be very good at it. That doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you use these as and when you can.)

These came from a great book by Chris Voss entitled: Never Split the Difference - Negotiating as if your life depended on it.  I thoroughly recommend it to you.

1. “Is now a bad time to talk?”

2. “Have you given up on this project?”

3. “How am I supposed to do that?”

4. “What does it take to be successful around here?”

5. “My name is Ray.  What’s the Ray discount?”

6. “Your offer is very generous. I’m sorry that just doesn’t work for me.”

7. “I don’t see how that would ever work.”

8. “Why would you ever do business with me?” or “Why would you ever change from your existing supplier, they’re great.”

9. “It seems like you strongly value the fact that you’ve always paid us on time.” Or “It seems like you don’t care what position you are leaving me in.”

Foundations. Very important for without them you cannot build anything meaningful.  And if you do build something without strong foundations then you run the risk of it all eventually falling down.

Here are 3 examples where stronger foundations can make a significant difference.

1. Studying for a degree:

A 2010 study by a collection of five Canada-based psychology professors found that of students who register for a four-year university degree programme, 25% drop out before completion - the root cause being a lack of vision and goal-setting.

In an attempt to improve this statistic, the study helped students through a four-month goal setting process, with their results showing a significant improvement in academic performance in comparison to students who did not partake in goal-setting.

2. Unexpected windfalls of income

Take the lottery winner who becomes an overnight millionaire or even multi-millionaire…according to BBC Capital it’s a sad fact that within 3-5 years lottery winners are twice as likely as ordinary people to declare bankruptcy and within that same time frame over 35% of them do just that…over a longer timeframe even more fall by the wayside.

3. Starting a business.

Unfortunately, the statistics for new business owners are even worse.

According to the CBI in the UK 60% of businesses fail in the first 3 years.

“According to Investopedia, the four most common reasons why small businesses fail are a lack of sufficient capital; poor management; inadequate business planning; and overblowing their marketing budgets - all of which have either direct or indirect ties to a company’s vision statement and their goals.”

So if foundations are so important, why don’t more people make an effort to work on them?

The answers I get most often are:

1. I don’t know what to do

2. I have no time to do things like this

3. Other things take priority

What that tells me is that either what you’re doing is not a priority in your life or you are working outwith your values…you might not even know what they are or if you do, you won’t know what you values are. Which is ironic because the first of the 9 Foundations is Values.  What are yours?

You not only need to do these and find out, but you ought to be able to reel them off to anyone who asks..at least reel of the first 5.

So the 9 Foundations of a solid business are:

1. Values – as the founder – what are yours?  Find them at www.DrDemartini.com

2. Vision – Do you have a clear picture of the purpose of your life?  If not, spend time setting one out and have fun doing it.

3. Pick the most ordinary business that fits both your values and your vision

4. Constantly Improve that business.

5. Listen to your customers – get to know them better than anything

6. Respond to what your ideal customer tells you

7. Set the highest standards

8. What’s Your Story?  Why do you want to do this? What motivated you?

9. Live the story every day

In a world of sameness, in a world of competition, in a world where there are similar products, budgets and resources, how come some people struggle and others seem to breeze through attracting customers and cash with ease?

Successful people and businesses know what to say and the order in which to say it for maximum impact.

3 Things To Do Now

1. Print off The List – Keep it close and start using it

2. Check Through Your Marketing and make adjustments

3. Use the Words Every Day – in a conversation, in an email or in new social media posts that you put out.

You may already believe you’re the actually the best at what you do. Especially if If you’re a man (for this tends to be how most men think) you will think that you are better than average at most things – driving especially. But chances are, you’re not. Chances are, you’re settling in, settling for “it will do”, getting along, doing the best you can in the circumstances you’re in. There are challenges and things are tough.  They’re tough for everyone.  But as they say you can make progress or you can make excuses but you can’t make both.

When I said that to some of the 1-2-1 clients I talk to each month, it prickled a few egos and there was a bit of push-back.  Which is good in a way as it usually means that progress will be on the other sde of a breakthrough.

But it’s actually quite amazing when I ask this or talk about this,  how quickly people will metaphorically stand up and defend not just the status quo, the way things “are”  but the inevitability of it.

We’ve been taught since forever that the world needs people who join in and who are followers, not just leaders. Not everyone can lead, can they? We’ve been taught that fitting in can be a lot better for us than standing out,  (I’m thinking of the first year in High School here) and that good enough is just that…it’s good enough.

Which might have been fine in a previous time.  It might have been fine if your anonymously working for a company.  It’s certainly fine if you work in the public sector – I know many people who work in the public sector and they are almost actively encouraged to do the basics or even less - … but that doesn’t work so well in the private sector. It certainly doesn’t work so well if you’re self-employed in what is in effect a winner-takes-all world.

So what to do about it?

Provide value at fair exchange.  Then leverage it.

Anyone, anyone who has done well in business has provided value at fair exchange.  If they didn’t, they wouldn’t make any money.  It’s as simpe as that.

So if you’re going to do it….do it well and you will be rewarded accordingly.

And if you’re going to do it well, do it better.

The way you become the best in your world is by quitting the stuff where you can’t be the best. Delegate it out.  Leverage it. That leaves you the resources to invest in getting through the slump and the drag in time towards becoming the best.

It’s that simple.

Stop doing what you’re not good at and concentrate on what you are good at.

All success leave clues. The Skill Stack shows you what to look for and more importantly, like any great recipe, the correct order of the ingredients and skills is as important.

Join us on Facebook. You can also get us in our Twitter account: @TheSkillStack and on Instagram

email us on: [email protected]

What is a slump and why do we need to get through it?

A slump is a general malaise.  A feeling of being down in the dumps.  Unable to shake off a feeling of lethargy.  Lack of energy.  “Valley time” as it can sometimes be called.  The valley is the look of the graph if you were tracking say, your energy, a fall in sales calls made, a drop in effort.  You might normally be trundling along at an energy level of 7 out of 10 but now it’s 2 or 3 on the same scale…yet you know that sooner or later you’ll get back up to 7 or even higher.

You might nomally make 10 calls a day now you’re making none!

You may send 20 emails and now it’s 3 or 4…and those are the ones you want to send.  The ones you don’t want to send or the people you don’t want to contact…well, those unsent emails or unmade calls are piling up in your head and adding to the burden.

You are failing to move forward.  You are static.  Not in motion.

That reminds me of something you all ought to be reminded about.  The Rules of Motion.

Sir Isaac Newton the great mathematician and physicist  - who was born about 12 miles away from where I’m recording this  at Woolsthorpe, Colsterworth a few miles south of the town of Grantham in Lincolnshire, Middle England - was famous for his 3 laws:

Newton's three laws of motion may be stated as follows:

Another way to describe the first law is: An object at rest, remains at rest unless something acts on it.

Another quote popped into my head:  If you want something done, give it to a busy person.

In other words, when you’re in a slump…or at rest…you need some external force or action to get you going.  Busy people don’t need this force as they are already in motion.

This is the motivation you need, this is the kick-start, the prod.

Get things done now and your memory of the lockdown in the years to come, will be a good one.

Are You Really an Entrepreneur

But don’t be under any illusions, being an entrepreneur is not easy…but it is fantastic.

I can honestly say that right now in 2020 it’s probably the best time ever to think about working for yourself. For being entrepreneurial.

This is truly an entrepreneurial age.

Here are 6 reasons why:

1.  It’s never been easier to start-up a business or to offer a service

2.  It’s never been cheaper to start up a business

3.  Information and guidance is everywhere, free on Google if you need it

4.  Massive amounts of money have been invested in infrastructure to make things easy for you. The internet. Payment portals. Challenger banks. Fiver.com. Upwork. Affiliate opportunities through eBay and Amazon and hundreds of thousands of other companies.

5.  Huge incredibly cheap distribution and supply chain networks

6.  Massive free or very cheap marketing systems such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn where you can zero in and target your ideal customers anywhere in the world

And it’s going to get better.

Here are another 6 reasons:

1. Population is growing all over the world…especially at level 3 and 4 where they can afford to buy goods and services online.

2. People are living longer.

3.The internet is getting better and more security is in place to keep your data and money safer that ever before and it will get better.

4. Future technological advances in the internet of things and Artificial intelligence will open up even more opportunities.

5. Innovation is encouraged more than ever.

6. Access to funds from Crowdfunding and cryptocurrencies is growing

And the number of people wanting to learn about all of that is growing as more and more people realise there is no job security anymore.

So are you really an entrepreneur?

Could you handle the downside?

Because if you can, the upside is pretty good…and it's getting better!

Join the Skill Stack Facebook or Instagram Groups.  Contribute.  Ask questions.  Invite answers. Join us on Twitter @theskillstack

Go back and listen to some of the other podcasts.  They all have notes and all have action points of useful things for you to do.

To quote a great 20th century thinker, Joseph Trumpeter. "Do not wait for the gales of creative destruction to wash over you."

Download the Skill Stack e-book 22 Doomed Industries  and make sure that when creative destruction does come, you are not left shocked, swimming without a costume on and no lifejacket.

Future Shock is a 1970 book by the futurist Alvin Toffler, where he defines the term "future shock" as a certain psychological state of individuals and entire societies. The shortest definition for the term in the book is a personal perception of "too much change in too short a period of time".

This Shock can have a detrimental affect unless you're prepared for it.

For those who can cope…. We are in the age of innovation.

So what does this require of you?

Simple.

1. Accept that massive change is here and don’t get upset by it.  It is neither good nor bad it simply IS.  Do not be frightened by it but at the same time don’t get too excited.  Work on your mindset and retain balance.

2. Talk more to people who understand this is happening. Get in community with similar people.  Join masterminds and groups of people who want to progress.  This will help you feel balanced and not alone or isolated.

3. Make a plan.  Whatever you are doing now take a long hard look at it.  Are you creating value?  Will you still be kept on by your employeer or will your services still be in demand?  If not, or if you think not, you need to plan changes now.  (bear in mind that with furloughed staff and an apparet recession on the horizon, most employers will be looking to cut back on their biggest expense…staff!)  You need to be in a position to remain because they can’t do without you, or you need a lifeboat in the form of your own business.

4. Are you upskilling?  Have you looked at the skills that will be required? I’m guessing that by listening to this podcast (or reading this book) that you have a desire to make some changes.  You need to innovate and make your own skills become vital and in demand by your customers…to do that you need to learn how to market properly and sell your services so that you are in demand and have a steady stream of new clients.

5. Work on the skills you need on a daily basis. Remember it’s not about developing a skill 100% it’s about incremental increases in a set of specific skills that will help you the most.

6. Take control of your financial future.  Have you worked out your own financial targets? Do you know what is required to meet them?

7. Get a strategy in place to implement your plan.

Whatever you do, switching off this Podcast and carrying on as before is not an option.

Join the Skill Stack Facebook Group.  Contribute.  Ask questions.  Invite answers.

Go back and listen to some of the other podcasts.  They all have notes and all have action points of useful things for you to do.

To quote another great 20thcentury thinker, Joseph Trumpeter. Do not wait for the gales of creative destruction to wash over you.

Download the Skill Stack e-book 22 Doomed Industries  and make sure that when creative destruction does come, you are not left shocked, swimming without a costume on and no lifejacket.

During the Lockdown, many millions of us have been using Zoom and Skype and Google Hangouts and Microsoft Teams - plus other video conferencing tools...many for the first time!

I've been using Zoom for a few years now and here are some tips for using it more effectively.

If you’ve ever joined more than three people on a Skype or Zoom conference call, I hope you’ll appreciate these tips, and perhaps use them and share them.

If you don’t pay for Zoom some of the features might not be available but most of them will be. But chances are that you are using Zoom in some kind of work environment, so it pays to be as professional as you can

Remember The Skill Stack is not about being excellent at any one thing…it’s about having a variety of useful skills for the 21stCentury to give you the edge over your competition and to make you a better person.  This will give you more confidence, create less stress, make you happier and in turn a more valuable member of society…which will also eventually filter through into more cash in your bank.

1. Sit close to the screen. Your face should fill most of it.  Keep slightly to the right or left…not exactly in the middle and leave an inch or so showing over your head.

2. Your name. When you’re logging in, Use your name properly or your name and location so that when you talk and people can see, then know who you are and where you are.

3. Changing a setting. The default Zoom setting is to show the full screen face of the person talking.  Change this to show everyone.

4. Microphones and Headsets. Use an external microphone or headset.

5. Consider Krisp.ai if you ever have background noise issues such as dogs barking or kids upstairs or if you’re in a public place.  Krisp (with a K) is noise-cancelling software and it’s free.

6. Mute. When you’re not talking, hit mute. If you’re on mute, press and hold the space bar and you can be heard.

7. Eating. Don’t eat during the meeting.  It’s ok to drink tea or coffee but don’t slurp.  And remember that mute button.

8. Listening and engaging. When you’re on mute during an audio call, you can do whatever you want. But when you’re on mute on a video call, you need to act like you’re truly engaged. Nod your head. Focus on the screen.

9. Your Phone.  If you have to use your phone whilst on zoom, lift it up and use it in front of you below the camera.

10. Lighting. Don’t sit with the window behind you. A little effort on lighting goes a very long way. Test it out beforehand.

11. Talking. When you’re talking, spend some time looking at the camera, not the screen. You’ll appear more earnest and honest this way.

12. Time. When you’re talking, go slow. No one is going to steal your slot.

13. Walking. Don’t walk if you’re using a phone, it’s very off-putting for others as they get distracted by the movement…but also…you run the risk of walking into someone or something!

14. Background images or setting. If you have a green screen it’s a good idea to use it and to use a bespoke, non-Stock images of your own.

15. Leaving. If you have to go to the toilet or answer the door, let people know in the Chat box…send a message to everyone to say you need to drop out for a minute.

16. Hosting. If you’re hosting a zoom session, it’s a good idea to send out an agenda and a start and finish time.

All success leave clues. The Skill Stack shows you what to look for and more importantly, like any great recipe, the correct order of the ingredients and skills is as important.

You can learn more at: www.TheSkillStack.com

For all the underlying links and transcript, go to: www.TheSkillStack.com/podcast

You can get us in our Twitter account: @TheSkillStack

email us on: [email protected]

Knowing how to communicate effectively is the key to any relationship. Whether you’re giving a presentation at work, working out a disagreement with your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend (significant other) or just having a chat with a friend, knowing how to articulate your ideas—and listen to those of others—is crucial.

But although we spend a lot of our time talking to each other, emailing each other, Whatsapping, texting, mesaging and posting, that doesn’t mean we necessarily get our point across or hear the other persons point as they intended. Communicating properly can be surprisingly challenging.

So there we go, 11 things to remember:

1. Learn to listen and learn to read to understand

2. Pay attention to body language

3. Watch how others communicate in different settings

4. Don’t be afraid of a bit of silence

5. Use confident language

6. Ask questions

7. Find common ground even in an argument

8. Know what you’re talking about

9. Changing the Subject?  Bridge into it

10. Make people feel valuable

11. Relax

All success leave clues. The Skill Stack shows you what to look for and more importantly, like any great recipe, the correct order of the ingredients and skills is as important.

You can learn more at: www.TheSkillStack.com

For all the underlying links and transcript, go to: www.TheSkillStack.com/podcast

You can get us in our Twitter account: @TheSkillStack

email us on: [email protected]