The Smart Sex Podcast

You've heard of self-esteem, but have you heard of sex esteem? What do self-esteem and sex esteem mean for men in particular? What is intrinsic and extrinsic about both concepts? How does it help or hurt us in the bedroom and in our relationship with our partner?

Today I have a guest you know if you're a regular listener of The Smart Sex Podcast. Doug is not just my love, my sweet darling husband of 24 years. He is also a personal development, leadership, relationship, and emotional IQ coach, and a therapist of over 40 years.

We're excited to connect and share with you today.

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The show is BACK! I took a break over the summer, I am thrilled to bring you season 3 of The Smart Sex Podcast.

Before we dive into the upcoming season, I want to take today to celebrate where we've been and highlight the connections we've made in the last year.

We're looking back at guests who have brought expertise to subjects involving having fun, being intentional and mindful, and some difficult discussions about sexual trauma.

Despite adversity and living in the middle of a world that feels so disconnected, I hope that you have found connection. I hope that you feel smarter and sexier because of the first two seasons of this podcast.

I am so excited to share even more incredible guests with you. Be sure to subscribe, share if you dare, and leave your review!

Thank you, as always, listeners, for being so loyal and sharing in this journey with me, and with the special guests I have here on the show. I can't wait to share what's coming up!

If there's an episode of The Smart Sex Podcast to listen to more than once, it's this one.

Dr. Lea Lis takes us through the journey of sex education, from birth to adulthood in a way that will rock your world. She gives advice about age-appropriate conversations and behavior to model for our kids that will challenge us toward a healthy view of sex and sexuality.

Lea pushes the envelope and even goes against what we view as cultural norms. Buckle up, listen closely, and no matter what stage of parenting you're in, take notes!

Dr. Lea Lis is the 'Shameless Psychiatrist.' She is a double board certified Adult and Child psychiatrist, and Assistant Clinical Professor at New York Medical College. She has a bustling practice in the Hamptons where she sees patients from all family arrangements.

Her book, “No Shame: Real Talk With Your Kids About Sex, Self-Confidence, and Healthy Relationships,” helps people pass down intergenerational wisdom, instead of trauma, by using modern psychotherapy techniques which she perfected throughout her many years of experience. She is an expert in the field of psychology, and hopes to change the way we speak about sex.

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Kim Boda, today's guest, is passionate about helping entrepreneurs and Realtors to level up and reach their highest potential through high-performance coaching, mindfulness, and neuroscience programs. She is a real estate expert at eXp Realty, a certified High-Performance Coach, Neurochangesolutions Corporate Trainer, and teaches "Mindfulness At Work" to organizations.

Kim creates the real, strong, and legitimate link between mindfulness, sex, and intimacy.

With her simple and practical tactics, she teaches us how to be connected with our mind and body. There is so much that we hold in our body, and without a doubt, we take that into the bedroom with us.

Kim and I even do a little mindfulness practice in the episode. I hope you'll follow along with us.

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Today's guest has a truly remarkable story of finding grit within and rising strong.

After being in a terrible motorcycle accident, Amberly Lago went into a medically induced coma. She went through a painful process of 34 surgeries and a lot of physical therapy. For years she needed the assistance of a wheelchair.

Today, Amberly is a health and wellness coach, TEDx speaker, podcaster, and a leading expert in the field of resilience and transformation.

I'm eager for you to hear Amberly's solid advice for actually putting ourSELVES on our "to-do" list. She talks about how to impact the world around us, how to give ourselves grace through struggle, how to attract good things, and the daily practice of living in gratitude.

Through her story, Amberly encourages us how to shift our perspective on life.

Amberly is the best-selling author of "True Grit and Grace." She empowers people around the world by sharing her story of how she turned a tragedy into triumph.

Through her book, coaching methods, and workshops, she has curated unique tools to teach others how to tap into their superpower of resilience and persevere through any of life's challenges. She offers hope and solutions for anyone (like her) living in chronic pain to live life to the fullest. Amberly has most recently been featured on NBC's The Today Show, The Doctors, Hallmark, Good Morning Lalaland, and contributed to magazines such as Shape, Fit Pregnancy, Health, and Disability Magazine.

I am inspired by Amberly and her courageous spirit, and I know you will be, too.



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In the identity development stage of my 20’s, many know, I struggled with body preoccupation, anorexia and bulimia which was my way of dealing with managing a loss, and feelings, particularly shame and anxiety, I felt I had no control of. It took a lot of hard therapeutic work for me to get well and ultimately shaped who I have become today.

I discovered this episode’s guest on social media several years ago, and was so impressed by her knowledge and wisdom about issues that mean much so to me.

Leslie Schilling, MA, RDN, CSCS, CEDRD-S, owns a Las Vegas-based coaching practice specializing in nutrition counseling for families, those of all ages with disordered eating concerns, professional athletes, and performers.

In addition to running her practice, Leslie serves as the performance nutrition consultant for Cirque du Soleil® and as an expert contributor to U.S. News & World Report, sharing advice on parenting and health. With her warm, compassionate and entertaining personality, Leslie has been featured in media outlets like Health, Women's Health, Self, Pregnancy Magazine, The Yoga Journal, Bicycling, BuzzFeed, the Huffington Post and on HGTV.

When she's not spending time with her family, you can find her sharing non-diet messages through media and on speaking platforms across the nation. Leslie is passionate about educating ministry, military, health, medical and fitness professionals about the harms of typical dieting behaviors. You may know Leslie best as the creator of the Born To Eat® approach and co-author of the award-winning book, Born To Eat: Whole, Healthy Foods from Baby's First Bite.

Sign up for Leslie's weekly newsletter with dinner menu ideas and tips for non-diet living on her website: www.LeslieSchilling.com

Some people don't even know that there is such a thing as a diet culture. Our society can be so pervasive in telling us that we have a problem that we don't have. Leslie and I dig through that, and she inspires us with a mindset shift and practical advice on how we can love our body, just the way we are.

Listeners, THANK YOU for continuing to subscribe and daring to share this podcast!

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I have a delightful couple on this episode, and we’re going to be talking about sex, marriage, and laughter.

Brittany and Ryan Ostofe cohost the podcast “The Laughing Couple,” which is #1 in Canada for Parenting and Relationships.

They love to discuss the rawness of parenthood and how to create a healthy relationship through laughter and effective communication, and they did not disappoint in this conversation!

By day, Brittany is the Curriculum Director for an Art company. She also runs her Instagram and Tiktok platforms with over 350,000 combined followers to empower her community of women through humor and relatability.

When he’s not being an incredible Father, Ryan runs his own sales marketing business named after their two children, The Riley Cooper Group.

Ryan and Brittany share with me how they manage two careers, working from home together, and how the pandemic created a breakthrough moment for their marriage in a very creative way.

My husband Doug joins me to dip into the fascinating world of fantasy and imagination in the bedroom.

There are many nuances and layers to this topic, but I want you to know that you are a creative and imaginative person in and out of the bedroom! Let yourself ponder that. Considering yourself and what you want to do with your inner life enhances you personally and could potentially improve your experience as a sexual person and a sexual partner.

What’s fantasy all about, and what different kinds of fantasy are there? Why would we need fantasy to enhance our sexual experience? What do couples need to do to have a healthy fantasy? Are there any you shouldn’t be having? What about the “moral” issue?

Join us as we talk about all this and more, and encourage you to become smarter, healthier, and sexier!


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In this episode, our good friend Cindy Scharkey and I talk about cultivating our sensuality as women, but guys shouldn’t be in a hurry to skip this one: there’s some good stuff in there for you too!

We cover the definition of sexuality and erotic energy, how to put that into practice in one’s life and relationships, the history of what gets in our way, the need for emotional expression, mindfulness, and how to cultivate sexuality.

We want to empower women and give them the freedom and encouragement to have their voice and use it to communicate what they want and need around their personhood and sexuality, even if it sometimes feels laden with fear and shame. Take up the cause of yourself, ladies. Put the work of YOURSELF on the forefront. Let yourself have what you long for: in yourself, in your life, in your sexuality, and your relationships.

Cindy Scharkey, RN, BSN, is passionate about breaking the silence surrounding women’s sexuality. Through her workshops, speaking events, and private consultations, she equips women with both content and self-confidence to express, experience, and enjoy their sexuality. She also empowers parents with knowledge and confidence to be their child’s primary sexual health educator. Cindy offers sex education and resources through her free monthly newsletter and blog at www.cindyscharkey.com.

I'm bringing you a very important topic today that is very near and dear to my heart. I'm talking with an expert on love, sexuality, and dating, as it relates to Autism. Many of you may know that I have a 21-year-old son who is Autistic: high-functioning, smart, brilliant, musical, but challenged. I have wanted to do this talk, not only because it's the life stage my son is in, but there is so much to be said about this very important topic.

Today's distinguished guest is my friend and colleague, Jeremy Hamburgh. Jeremy is the founder of My Best Social Life, where he is the first dating and friendship coach in the world to focus exclusively on transforming the social lives of autistic young adults. His clients make new friends, start dating, and attract a loving partner in less time than they ever thought possible. Using a science-based social strategy, Jeremy helps young adults with Autism escape their loneliness and live a vibrant social life filled with amazing friends and partners.
Since 2010, his clients have met countless new people, made tons of new friends, gone on great dates, started amazing relationships, and even gotten married. Jeremy helps them do all this with a commitment to compassion and sensitivity that you won't find anywhere else.

Today, Jeremy and I talk about the unique challenges that people with Autism face, what they're afraid of when it comes to intimate relationships, and Jeremy's approach to helping them discover what they want and who they want to be in relationship with, from a step-by-step, scientific approach.

To learn more about Jeremy's approach to dating, go to www.mybestsociallife.com
Adults with Autism who want to take his free training can visit https://joinnow.live/s/iBdW5y
Parents who want to take his free training can visit https://joinnow.live/s/9ZtbPk