The Soul's Work Podcast

In this episode, Janice and guest Saintless discuss relational anarchy (RA, a.k.a. relationship anarchy) as an approach to being more human vs. transactional in our relationships. They also talk about how dominant social and political systems negatively impact our intimate relationships. And they share their personal experiences exploring RA and dating, and what's involved in practicing RA including: self-awareness, negotiation, checking out our assumptions, and loving-kindness. 

Note from Janice: Sorry for the low volume on my side of the convo with Saintless -- trying to fix it would have meant delaying publishing this episode further, and I didn't want to do that! Also, Saintless refers to me as "Soojung" in the episode -- that's my Korean name. :)

Bio: Saintless is an idiot that's stupid 10,000 times a day. But as a writer, knowing the etymology of "idiot" and "stupid" simply means I'm always just learning to be myself: a loveable dick. Or at the very least, not an asshole full of shit.

Subscribe on YouTube: @thesoulsworkpodcast

Rate & review the podcast:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• www.TheSoulsWorkPodcast.com

Connect with Saintless: @saintlesschoir or @saintlessafro on IG, TikTok, YouTube, etc.

Listen to all The Soul's Work Podcast episodes: www.thesoulsworkpodcast.com

----- 

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for working with a professional mental health or healing practitioner.

In this episode, Janice and guest Maria Cheung (somatic pleasure coach and clinical sexologist) talk about generational trauma and how patterns created in our parents' time—like conflict avoidance, self-criticism,  hyper-independence, etc—get passed down to us and our other relationships.

They discuss how those patterns can be birthed by historical and cultural factors—like family separation, men being allowed to have multiple wives, and the one-child policy China—and how ongoing systems like capitalism and patriarchy continue to influence the ways we show up in our intimate relationships.

And they share what has helped them gain more compassion for their parents—including in safe spaces in individual and group therapy—while gaining more awareness/accountability and compassion for themselves.

This episode is full of personal stories about infidelity, challenging mom–daughter dynamics, repairing relationships and forgiveness, and the light-bulb moments and deep work that help to break the cycles of generational trauma.

Bio: Maria Cheung (she/her) is a queer, polyamorous Chinese-Canadian, somatic pleasure coach, facilitator and speaker. She is a registered Somatic Sexologist (American Board Certified) and Tibetan Tantra practitioner, with over 15 years of experience in the healthcare industry, graduating from the only government accredited Authentic Tantra school in the world. Combining methods from Western and Eastern medicine, Maria guides her clients and audiences through proven embodiment practices in pleasure science, spiritual science and sexual yoga (Tibetan 5 Element Tantra). As a compassionate guide in mind, body, spirit and sex, she shepherds uncolonized holistic trauma-informed and psycho-somatic methods, integrating healing, growth and mastery in the bedroom, into your life and into communities for collective liberation.

Subscribe on YouTube: @thesoulsworkpodcast

Rate & review the podcast:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• www.TheSoulsWorkPodcast.com

Connect with Maria Cheung:

• Instagram: @sageandsexual
• Website: https://www.sageholistichealing.com/

Listen to all The Soul's Work Podcast episodes: www.thesoulsworkpodcast.com

----- 

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for working with a professional mental health or healing practitioner.

In this episode, Janice and guest Andrea discuss shame and shaming in social justice movements and spaces, including:

• Common ways that shame shows up in our activism work
• Is shaming ever okay? Is it effective in moving people toward action? 
• How do we react or cope when we are steeped in shame?
• How is shaming politicians/institutions different from shaming people?
• How can we take care in not shaming others in a way that hurts the movement?

This conversation is not meant to be prescriptive. Rather, it is meant to open up a not-often-discussed topic in our social justice spaces and think through its nuanced layers.

Bio: Andrea (she/they) is a poet and writer from Toronto who has performed with various organizations, including Unity Charity, JAYU and Lakeshore Arts. This statement does not encompass all they are but her love of the arts always propels her towards self expression, liberation and using the written word to connect with others and the world.

Subscribe on YouTube: @thesoulsworkpodcast

Rate & review the podcast:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• www.TheSoulsWorkPodcast.com

Connect with Andrea:

• Instagram: @ahn.dre.ah

Listen to all The Soul's Work Podcast episodes: www.thesoulsworkpodcast.com

----- 

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for working with a professional mental health or healing practitioner.

This episode is all about anger! How many of us come to fear, and then disown, this core emotion. And the ways we adapt to our uneasy relationship with anger, including avoiding conflict, people-pleasing, and passive-aggressiveness.

Janice talks about her own experiences repressing her anger for many years, and why she had come to see anger as a threatening emotion that had to be sent to the corner of her internal home. 

She shares about the therapy work (Internal Family Systems Therapy) she did to befriend her anger, and how it helped her to better clarify her needs and set boundaries.

She also discusses the importance of looking past the individual/family situation to understand how our broader cultural, social and political environment influences how comfortable we feel with our anger and that of others.

Resources mentioned in the episode:

• The Soul's Work Blog: "Letting Anger Come Out of the Corner"
• Dr. Jennifer Mullan: @decolonizingtherapy (IG) / Decolonizing Therapy 
• Jordan Pickell: @jordanpickellcounselling
• Susan McConnell: Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy 
• Laurence Heller & Aline LaPierre: Healing Developmental Trauma 
• Prentis Hemphill: What It Takes To Heal (my apologies, I called Prentis' book "How to Heal" in the episode!)
• Arturo Biaocchi (societypages.org): "The racialization of mental illness"

Subscribe on YouTube: @thesoulsworkpodcast

Rate & review the podcast:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• www.TheSoulsWorkPodcast.com

Listen to all The Soul's Work Podcast episodes: www.thesoulsworkpodcast.com

----- 

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for working with a professional mental health or healing practitioner.

In this episode, Janice discusses why it's challenging to show up authentically in our intimate relationships, including some of the ways internalizing dominant culture's "relationship rules" had her constantly feeling insecure and trying to manage her past partners.

She shares about how practicing relationship anarchy (RA) – which advocates for us building our relationships through open communication, collaboration and mutual consent vs. according to prescribed labels and rigid social norms – has helped her feel more secure in herself, deepen her connection with others, and approach her dating partners and friends with more curiosity and care. 

The reflection questions Janice mentions include:

• How intentional am I being in building this relationship with the other? 
• Am I truly aware of what I need and desire from this person I’m in relationship with? Have I communicated that transparently to the other? 
• How do I stay true to myself, while also staying open to the other person’s needs, preferences, and boundaries when I’m navigating, for example, a romantic partnership where I might bring in expectations and pre-conceived ideas of what that relationship “should” look like?
• Am I actively creating a safe-enough space for the other, where they trust they can express themselves authentically, even when that means us bumping into each other’s differences that can cause tension?
• Am I aware of how the dominant culture impacts the decisions I make in my intimate relationships?

Subscribe on YouTube: @thesoulsworkpodcast

Rate & review the podcast:

• Apple Podcasts
• Podchasers
• Spotify
• www.TheSoulsWorkPodcast.com

Listen to all The Soul's Work Podcast episodes: www.thesoulsworkpodcast.com

----- 

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for working with a professional mental health or healing practitioner.

In this brief introduction to Season 5 of The Soul's Work Podcast, Janice answers four questions:

1. Where has she been for the past two years? (Short answer: Palestine)
2. What does Palestine have to do with 
3. What's changed on the podcast?
4. What will be talking about in Season 5?

Subscribe on YouTube: @thesoulsworkpodcast

Rate & review the podcast:

• Apple Podcasts
• Podchasers
• Spotify
• www.TheSoulsWorkPodcast.com

Listen to all The Soul's Work Podcast episodes: www.thesoulsworkpodcast.com

----- 

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for working with a professional mental health or healing practitioner.

Join Gloria Eid (writer, poet, leadership coach, and grief movement guide) and host Janice Ho for a conversation on grieving – whether it's the grief we feel when losing a loved one, doing our trauma-healing work, or being impacted by the collective suffering we see in the world. They discuss how they've each created an intimate relationship with grief, and different types of grief practices/supports that can help carry us through hard times. They also share how learning to be with grief can transform us in positive ways, including increasing our resilience and sustaining activism work. Gloria also gifts us with reading a few poems from her new book Waves: poems on grief.

This episode covers:

• 4:57 Introducing Gloria Eid
• 8:12 Poem reading and reflection: Hoping
• 12:13 What sparked Gloria’s writings on grief (her book Waves)
• 15:32 When grief engulfs us vs being in partnership with grief
• 20:05 Why processing grief is important + the many supports we can access for our grief work
• 27:22 Why the wellness industry doesn’t promote grief practices more
• 33:16 Poem reading and reflection: The Greatest Task
• Allowing for happiness and joy in times of grief
• 40:27 Finding support from nature (something bigger than us)
• 42:00 Poem reading and reflection: Breath And 
• On protesting and collective action
• 54:11 Returning to “the same” grief – why can’t we just move on?
• 1:00:46 Grief in trauma-healing work
• 1:03:41 Alchemizing grief: the other side
• 1:06:07 Poem reading: Letter From Grief
• 1:07:37 Grieving collective suffering + finding support
• 1:19:20 Poem reading: For You
• 1:20:28 How to connect with Gloria

Subscribe on YouTube: @thesoulsworkpodcast

Rate & review the podcast:

• Apple Podcasts
• Podchasers
• Spotify
• www.TheSoulsWorkPodcast.com

Connect with Gloria Eid:

• Buy Waves: poems on grief on Amazon
• Instagram: @gloria.unlimited
• Website: www.gloriaeid.com

Listen to all The Soul's Work Podcast episodes: www.thesoulsworkpodcast.com

----- 

Janice is a therapist-in-training and not licensed to work with clients.

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for working with a professional mental health or healing practitioner.

Fellow therapist-in-training Janna Estrada shares about her journey uncovering her authentic self, from not being able to speak up for herself and being overwhelmed by big emotions to doing therapy and finding the right relationships that align with her values. Janice and Janna also chat about the transformational work they've done "re-parenting" their inner child and working compassionately with their protective adaptations to trauma.

This episode covers:

• Janna’s life before her healing journey
• The break-up that changed Janna’s path
• Isolation, navigating big emotions, and feeling unsupported
• Reflection: Who really shows up for me?
• What finally pushed Janna into therapy despite the stigma
• Janna’s and Janice’s first experiences trying therapy
• "Re-parenting" our child self/parts
• What supports have helped Janna to heal and grow
• How not being with the right people impact our self-worth
• Identifying our most important values 
• Aligning our values with our relationships
• Exploring the fear of speaking up
• Doing the inner work to make setting boundaries effective
• Finding support for our defense mechanisms

Subscribe on YouTube: @thesoulsworkpodcast

Rate & review the podcast:

• Apple Podcasts
• Podchasers
• Spotify
• www.TheSoulsWorkPodcast.com

Connect with Janna Estrada:

• Instagram: @jannabakes
• TikTok: @jannabakes

Listen to all The Soul's Work Podcast episodes: www.thesoulsworkpodcast.com

----- 

Janice is a therapist-in-training and not licensed to work with clients.

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for working with a professional mental health or healing practitioner.

Tim and Janice talk about how to keep the spark going in our romantic relationships, including what to do when our love languages aren’t aligned, continuing to learn new things about our partners, and doing dates! They also discuss the importance of doing the individual work to bring our best selves into our relationships, navigating anxious and avoidant attachment dynamics, and learning to communicate transparently to deepen intimacy.

Bio: Tim Johnson is the CEO and Cofounder of Couply, the app for Couples. Couply helps 300,000 couples build an incredible relationship that lasts forever, through relationship questions, couples quizzes and custom date ideas and relationship advice all based on your partner’s personality.

This episode covers:

• How the Couply app helps couples deepen their relationship
• What to do when your love languages aren’t aligned
• Love maps: Continuing to learn about our partners over time
• Date ideas to keep the spark alive
• The ups and downs of long-term relationships
• Shifting from being right and winning to being in a partnership
• Communicating transparently with each other for deeper intimacy
• Communicating with your partner about your communication styles
• Shifting from an anxious to secure attachment style
• Leaving room for messiness in relationships
• Learning to read the red flags early on

Subscribe on YouTube: @thesoulsworkpodcast

Rate & review the podcast on:

• Apple Podcasts
• Podchasers
• Spotify
• www.TheSoulsWorkPodcast.com

Connect with Tim Johnson:

• https://www.couply.io/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couplyapp
• TikTok: @couply

Listen to all The Soul's Work Podcast episodes: www.thesoulsworkpodcast.com

----- 

Janice is a therapist-in-training and not licensed to work with clients.

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for working with a professional mental health or healing practitioner.

Sydney and Janice chat about how sex work can be healing and a path to reclaiming one's sensuality. They also dive into unlearning codependency and practicing polyamory, plus exploring kink and disowned parts through dom/sub play.

Bio: Sydney is a chef, pleasure curator, and sex worker based in what is colonially known as Philadelphia. Sydney is a proud third-generation Chinese-American non-binary human. They graduated from Emerson College in 2019 with a degree in Media Arts Production, but found their passion for food and sensuality. After many career changes, they decided to pursue culinary arts following in their grandparents’ footsteps.

This episode covers:

• Sydney’s journey with being monogamish, non-monogamy + polyamory
• Becoming a sex worker
• Reclaiming sensuality through sex work
• Practicing boundaries in sexual relationships (and life in general!)
• Communicating boundaries before and during sex
• Sex work as healing work
• How sex workers can learn from polyamory
• Unlearning monogamous culture + codependency
• Being a sex worker + Asian
• Exploring ourselves through kink + dom/sub play
• Navigating group play + potential triggers
• Being polyamorous + Asian

Resources mentioned:

• Mistress Mei: https://www.instagram.com/multiverseofmei/ 
• Jayda: https://www.instagram.com/jayda_kissed/
• Michelle Hy: https://www.instagram.com/polyamorouswhileasian/
• Leanna Yau: https://www.instagram.com/polyphiliablog/ 

Subscribe on YouTube: @thesoulsworkpodcast

Rate & review the podcast:

• Apple Podcasts
• Podchasers
• Spotify
• www.TheSoulsWorkPodcast.com

Connect with Sydney:

• https://sexysoupdumplings.com/
• https://www.eatwithlydialim.com/
• https://www.instagram.com/sexysoupdumplings/

Listen to all The Soul's Work Podcast episodes: www.thesoulsworkpodcast.com

----- 

Janice is a therapist-in-training and not licensed to work with clients.

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for working with a professional mental health or healing practitioner.