It's very difficult for most people to recognize the difference between difficult church leaders and abusive ones. Jimmy and Christine developed a list of traits of abusive leaders and they discuss it in this episode. It's important to know when leaders are abusive and how to confront the abuse. Too many abuse survivors are abused by leaders after their experience of abuse from someone else.

To learn more about the work Christine does at PorchSwing Ministries, visit https://www.porchswingministries.org/

To see the traits of an abusive leader:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/10uemxJY5uwro_ufWK3fibeM8iNK9JUBh/view?usp=sharing

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I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

Naghmeh gained instant fame when her then husband Saeed Abedini was jailed in Iran for his Christian faith. As an American pastor who was jailed in Iran, it sparked an international outcry against Christian persecution. President Obama and the State Department were able to successfully work a deal with Iran to free Saeed. But there was a dark secret. Saeed had been abusing Naghmeh, and the abuse intensified when he was jailed.

Even from jail he would call her a whore and Jezebel, accusing her of stealing his fame. Naghmeh found that, as long as she was married and remained silent about the abuse, she had the full support of the media and big-name Christian leaders. When she decided she could no longer remain silent, she was accused by those same leaders of being unfaithful to Saeed. Others who were once supportive were now completely silent.

Naghmeh shares her wisdom for how she navigated these trying times and how she leaned on God to spare her life and gain freedom from abuse.

To learn more about abuse in the church and how to respond, see my book The Devil Inside: How my minister father molested kids in our home and church for decades and how I finally stopped him:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp

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I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

Clara's youngest daughter, Alex Howlett, was the person who disclosed her dad's abuse to Jimmy and Clara in 2011. Alex was 20 at the time. In this episode she describes her healing journey that began with deep depression and attempted suicide to now owning her own Yoga business and loving every minute of it!

Alex will forever be our hero because she had the courage to tell and her disclosure of abuse stopped a very dangerous serial predator, sparing untold numbers of children.

If you missed the previous episode when we had Alex on, you won't want to miss that one either. You can view it here:
https://youtu.be/kv8X0vwfzKc

To order Jimmy's memoir, The Devil Inside: How my minister father molested kids in our home and church for decades and how I finally stopped him, you can find it here:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp

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Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

We don't really talk much about how the church responded when we reported the abuse, but it is an important part of our story. Reporting abuse is often a very lonely road for survivors. But what about for us? Jimmy is the full time minister for the church his dad led for almost 3 decades. Clara was the preacher's wife for that long, too. So did the church respond in a healthy way?

While we had some support, our story is not much different from other people who are walking this road of compound traumas.

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I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

Being married to an abuser is incredibly difficult. When the abuse is subtle and highly calculated, it's challenging to even rationalize to yourself the real reasons why you are deciding to end a marriage. This is what makes sophisticated abusers so dangerous and why they are able to keep their spouses trapped in a marriage.

Clara Hinton left her marriage before she knew that her husband was a child sexual abuser. In this episode, she talks about signs that started painting a picture that pointed towards spousal abuse. She details how she got the courage to get out and where her support came from.

Become a patron:
https://www.patreon.com/SpeakingOut

Jimmy's book, The Devil Inside:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp

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Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

New York's Office of the Attorney General released a damning report yesterday chronicling Governor Andrew Cuomo's creepy, predatory behavior with 11 victims who came forward. The report uncovers a "culture within the Executive Chamber" of cover-ups, fear, demanded loyalty to the governor, and retaliation against those who spoke up.

In an act of defiance, Governor Cuomo released a 14 minute video denying any wrongdoing and belittling victims who spoke out about the abuse. In this episode, we talk about the similarities within church and advocacy cultures, where survivors are bullied and threatened into silence.
To read the full Attorney General's report:
https://www.rochestercitynewspaper.com/media/pdf/2021.08.03_nyag_-_investigative_report.pdf

For the AP story about Chris Cuomo's role in advising his brother:
https://apnews.com/article/andrew-cuomo-chris-cuomo-cnn-sexual-harassment-report-3f601fbfd65e45e244a98f8e816e1ad5

To order Jimmy's book, The Devil Inside:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp

To check out the podcast on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/SpeakingOut

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I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

Too often people have been made to believe that the ONLY way we can protect victims from abusers is by the legal justice system. "Innocent until proven guilty" is repeated in churches and other organizations, as if someone can't be a dangerous predator unless the court says so.

The reality is that the vast majority of abuse cases will never be reported. Of the few that do get reported, the overwhelming majority of those will never result in criminal charges. This means that most known abusers will never be found guilty in the court of law. That places the responsibility to protect victims squarely on the shoulders of us!

In this episode, we talk about what that looks like and why it's so important that we take a stand to protect victims even when there isn't a conviction.

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I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

Is there really such a thing as non-offending pedophiles? This is, by far, one of the most hotly debated topics concerning pedophiles. MAPs (Minor Attracted Person) are on the rise and are getting more and more brazen with their degrading comments about children. Here is a good article about their online perversions:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8466899/Paedophiles-rebrand-minor-attracted-persons-chilling-online-propaganda-drive.html

The question remains, is it safe to assume that there really is a class of people who are sexually attracted to prepubescent children but do not (and will not) produce actual victims?

We unpack this in this episode. We give our opinion and still provide both sides of the argument.

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I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

Abuse survivors are often told what THEY--not their abusers--did wrong. Survivors are often told that they somehow provoked an abuser to commit crimes against them. They are told that if they lived a better life God wouldn't have allowed them to be abused. They're told to forgive and move on.

But what stance does God take against abuse and, just as important, the abuser? Somehow the church has failed in just about every category when it comes to abuse--from causing abuse to covering it up to mistreating victims. In this episode we break down clear answers for how we see God respond to abuse and believe us, it's a far cry from how most churches are responding.

To order Jimmy's book, The Devil Inside:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp

Intro--
Film Glitch by Snowflake (c) copyright 2017 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/snowflake/56350 Ft: reusenoise

Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

Never before has it been so easy for children to be exploited online. Common Sense Media did a recent survey that shows 54% of children own a smartphone before the age of 11. 84% of teens own a smartphone. With the phones come a host of issues: Ready access to hardcore, violent pornography, secret apps where children are pressured to send explicit photos and videos, cyberbullying, and on the list goes. Not to sound the alarm bells too loudly, but our children truly have become extremely vulnerable.

In this episode, we talk about some of the worst (and most popular) apps that kids can have, and what our solution is to making kids safer in a digital world.

Here's an NPR story on the issue of so many kids accessing technology:
https://www.npr.org/2019/10/31/774838891/its-a-smartphone-life-more-than-half-of-u-s-children-now-have-one

To order Jimmy's book, The Devil Inside:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp

Intro--
Film Glitch by Snowflake (c) copyright 2017 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/snowflake/56350 Ft: reusenoise

Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284